by Levine, Nina
“I thought you were going to call Mace home!”
I found her eyes. They screamed the wild storm raging through her. She was a beautiful hurricane I couldn’t walk away from. Lily was passion and calm all rolled into one. I needed the calm to centre me, but it was the fire I craved in a woman. Beauty never spoke to me long enough to keep my attention. Fire did, though, and she blazed with it.
I was here to re-claim her.
She could fight me all she liked; I would win in the end.
And I fucking loved a good battle.
“I never said that.”
Her eyes bulged with fury. “Why are you being so difficult about this? I don’t freaking understand you!”
“You don’t need to. You just need to turn that ass of yours around and go back inside and let me do my thing.”
Eyes still wide, she threw out, “Your thing? What does that even mean?”
“It means that it’s shit I’m not worrying you with. Go inside. This isn’t getting us anywhere.”
“Just so you know, when you tell a woman you’ve got stuff on your mind that you don’t want to worry her with, it makes her worry. I’m not going anywhere until you spit it out.”
“Lily,” I growled, “this isn’t shit I’m sharing with you. We can stand here and argue all night, but I won’t change my mind.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight to one leg like she was settling in for the long haul. “Fine by me. I’ve got all night.”
My gaze dropped as I caught a flash of skin when her robe fell to the side, revealing the inside of her thigh. At the same time, a red Falcon pulled into the driveway and Linc jumped out and stalked our way.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he roared.
Lily dropped her arms and grabbed hold of him trying to stop him coming close to me. “Linc,” she warned, “don’t get into this. Holly’s watching.”
He ignored her, his eyes firmly locked to mine. Shrugging out of her hold, he moved into my personal space and spat, “You need to fuck off and leave us alone to get through this. We don’t fucking need your help.”
My jaw clenched as I worked hard to keep myself in check. Lily’s daughter stood next to her father’s car watching us, and her other kids and mother were in the house. As much as I wanted to knock the motherfucker out, I didn’t want to do that while her family were close. Squaring my shoulders, I said, “I’m not here to help you. I’m here for Lily.”
“Yeah well, she’s good. I’m back now.”
It fucking pissed me off that he’d worked the shooting of her sister to his advantage, but I couldn’t fault her for allowing him to help her through it. “Step the fuck away from me, asshole. I’m not here to get into a fucking fight with you.”
He didn’t. Instead, he shoved his face closer to mine and said, “Did you hear what I said? That I’m back with Lily now. Because if you didn’t, you need to pay attention to that.”
At the same time Lily reached for him again and said, “Linc, don’t,” I swung my head to face her and demanded, “That true?”
Motherfucker.
I’d missed his point the first time.
Now he had me fucking worked up.
Anger burned in my veins at the thought of him forcing his way back into her life.
Her eyes met mine, challenging me. “That has nothing to do with you.”
Linc finally took that step back from me. Sliding his arm over Lily’s shoulder, he pulled her close and hit me with a satisfied smile. “It’s true. Now get off my property.”
Every inch of my body tensed as my patience stretched to breaking point. It wasn’t his fucking property, but Lily hadn’t corrected him. She also allowed his hands on her. And she didn’t challenge anything he said. The only fucking challenge she threw down was to me.
Seeing another man’s hands on her drove me fucking wild. I wanted to rip those hands off her. Wanted to crush the motherfucker and ensure he never had the chance to put them anywhere near her again. Fuck, I wanted to claim her then and fucking there, and lay the fucking law down. That her body would know only my hands in the future.
I’d been mistaken when I thought I could shut my feelings down. Lily had worked her way into my black heart, clawing at it piece by fucking piece. Hell would fucking freeze over before I’d give up on her. I’d also been mistaken worrying that her connection to me would put her in danger. My thinking had been fucked up for too fucking long with the shit the club had going on. After taking care of Romano’s men, my mind blazed bright with clarity, and I was thinking straight again. And what all that thinking told me was that motherfuckers could come at us, but they would never defeat us. And they sure as fuck wouldn’t get their hands on my woman.
I turned my gaze to Linc. “I’d like a word with Lily. Alone.”
“Not fucking likely,” he said, squeezing her tighter against his body.
She wiggled out of his hold. “Give us a minute, Linc. I’ll be inside soon.”
He stared at her long and hard before muttering, “Fucking hell,” and doing as she’d asked.
I tracked his movements until he was inside. Then, pinning my gaze to Lily’s, I said, “We’re not done.”
She frowned. “Yes, we are. That was your choice the other day, King.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck what I said the other day. I’m telling you now—this thing between us is far from over.”
Her frown disappeared, leaving an expression that told me how annoyed with me she was. “You don’t get that right anymore. You don’t get to tell me anything. And fuck you. My sister is lying in a coma that I’m not sure she’ll wake up from, and I’ve got a lot on my mind, and you wanna come around and discuss this? No. I’m not okay with that. Not when you made it perfectly clear where you stood the other day. Go home. I’m done with this conversation.”
Not giving me a chance to respond, she walked inside, leaving me staring after her.
I was a selfish bastard. I’d pushed her away to protect her, and here I fucking was demanding her back. It completely went against my reasons for removing her from my life. Dragging her back into it would only put her at risk again. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t not have her. I had no idea where this need came from. I sure as fuck didn’t want to feel this way. And yet I did. Hell, I wanted Lily in ways I’d never wanted a woman.
Once she was safely back in the house, I walked to where Mace was parked. Tapping my hand on the top of his car, I leant down to talk to him through the window. “Go home, brother.”
“We’re done here?”
I shook my head. “No. But I’ll do tonight’s shift.”
“I’m good, King. And besides, haven’t we removed the threat to her now?”
“Go. Get some sleep and be back here at six tomorrow morning. We’re keeping eyes on her until Romano is dealt with.” Fuck knew who else he had on his payroll.
“Okay, so long as you’re sure.”
I nodded and pulled out a smoke. “I’m sure.”
I lit the cigarette as he pulled away from the kerb. Dragging nicotine deep into my lungs, I thought about what I was doing. Not much of it made sense to me, but that was the fucking story of my life. The last thing I wanted was a woman by my side. And fuck knew where we’d end up. But even though I was in the middle of a fucking war that needed my full attention, and although I had a million reasons not to pursue her, Lily had become my new addiction.
Chapter Five
Lily
I pulled the curtain to the side to glance down the street. He was gone. The fact that disappointed me also annoyed me. I wanted King just as much as I didn’t want him now. His arrival last night and his announcement that we weren’t done had thrown me. Completely freaking screwed me up. I’d hardly slept, especially since I knew he was outside. I’d watched from my window after I left him standing on the footpath, waiting for him to leave. But he hadn’t. He’d stayed all night. I knew this because I’d bloody checked almost ever
y half hour until I finally fell asleep around three.
God.
I was going to lose my mind over this man.
I was sure of it.
That was the reason why I’d let him think Linc and I were getting back together. I’d hated letting him believe that, especially when I’d seen his reaction. His response had surprised me. When Linc had thrown it out, I’d thought King wouldn’t even blink. I mean, the man told me in no uncertain terms we were over. A small part of me had been happy to see how affected he was by the thought of me back with my ex. But I didn’t like playing games with men, so mostly I’d felt like a bitch for misleading him.
I had to guard my heart, though, so I’d chosen not to correct his thinking.
He’d move on soon. He’d find another woman to sleep with, and I’d be long forgotten.
“Mum,” Zara said, knocking softly on my door. “Breakfast is ready.” She peaked her head in. “Are you okay to come out and eat or do you want me to bring it in here for you?”
I smiled at my beautiful girl and moved to her. Wrapping my arms around her, I pressed a kiss to her head. She was coping with Brynn being in a coma differently to her sister. Zara was me, through and through. Right down to her boy-crazy bones. It was why I worried so much about her having sex with her boyfriend. I knew her next move before she did most days.
“I’m okay, baby. How are you?” It was a lie; I wasn’t okay. I was exhausted from too little sleep over the last few days. I was anxious over Brynn. I was worried about how my kids were doing. I was concerned about this situation with Linc. And I was twisted up over my feelings for King. Somehow, I’d managed to go from being hardly aware of living this time yesterday to hyper-aware of everything today.
She looked at me sadly. “Do you think it means something bad that Auntie Brynn still hasn’t woken up?”
My heart crawled into my throat. Getting my kids through this was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do as a mother. Because as much as I wanted to reassure her, I wrestled with the same thoughts and fears. Lying had never been part of my parenting style, but I was going to have to consider it now. And I was going to have to reach deep inside myself to give her an answer that didn’t alarm her further.
I ran my hand gently down her long hair, smoothing it. “Auntie Brynn is in a critical condition, sweetheart. I’m not sure the doctors are ready for her to wake up yet. Yesterday, they told us she needs to rest in order to grow strong enough to breathe on her own. The machines are helping her do that.” I actually couldn’t quite recall what the doctor had said, but I was sure it was something close to this.
Zara nodded. “Okay. That’s good then I guess.” Her voice betrayed her inability to fully buy into that, but at least she didn’t appear further distressed.
“Yes,” I agreed.
Her features shifted into a frown. “What’s happening with you and Dad? Like, is he moving back in with us?”
I really need to deal with this.
Like, really really.
“No, he’s not. He’s just helping me look after you guys while Brynn’s in the hospital. And he’s getting our house ready for us to move back into. That’s all.”
“Oh, okay.” She paused before adding, “I think he thinks you guys are getting back together.”
I sighed. “I’ll talk to him.” I lifted my chin towards the door. “Go start your breaky. I’ll be out in a minute.”
After she left, I pulled my phone out and sent a text to Adelaide.
Me: Sorry I didn’t reply to your text last night. I was dealing with King and then I completely forgot. Sorry, babe.
Adelaide: Girl! Don’t you dare apologise to me. Can I call you?
I rang her.
“How are you today, hon?” she asked as soon as she answered.
I took a deep breath. “Not good, babe.”
“Okay, so I’ve organised the day off so I can spend it with you. You want me to swing by your place and pick you up and take you to the hospital?”
I sat on the edge of my bed and smiled through my sadness. “Has anyone told you you’re the best bestie a girl can have? I would love you to do that. God knows I need to stop relying on Linc to drive me.”
“Yes. How is he? Are you guys getting along okay with him being there? And wait, let’s back this up a beat. What were you dealing with King for? I thought he’d fucked off?”
“Yeah, he had, but he turned up here last night after I rang him and told him to send his men home.”
“Oh, they were still there?”
“Yeah. Anyway, we argued over it a little and then Linc turned up and told King we were back together. King then told me we weren’t over.”
“So let me get this straight. King doesn’t want you except when he thinks you’re no longer available? Bloody asshole.”
That was a thought I hadn’t been able to shift all night. The more I thought about it, the more annoyed at the whole situation I grew. “Seems so.”
“Oh, babe,” she said softly, “I’m sorry he’s a dick. I know you thought there was something there between the two of you, but I think he did you a favour when he walked away the other day. You don’t need a man who pulls that shit.”
“Yeah,” I whispered as tears fell down my cheeks. I felt dumb crying over him, and told myself I was only doing it because of everything else going on, but even I didn’t buy that. I’d been ready to give King more than I’d been ready to give any man for years, and he’d hurt me. I’d pushed this hurt to the side for the last few days so I could just get through the days, but it had forced its way to the surface now.
“Right, we’re not going to talk about him again today, okay? Let’s go back to Linc. How are things there?”
I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. “I’m fairly sure he truly does believe we’re getting back together. I don’t think he was just saying that for King’s benefit. So I have to have that conversation with him today.” The more I thought about what I had to do today, the more I wanted to crawl back into bed, hide under the covers and shut the world out.
“This morning?”
“Yes, I’m about to go and have it with him now.”
“Good. I’ll be over in about an hour or so.”
“Thanks, Addy.”
“Always.”
We ended the call and I gathered all the strength I could find to go and talk to Linc. I found him alone in the garage, cleaning rubbish out of his car.
“We need to talk,” I said when he glanced up at me.
He came my way. “You okay, baby?”
“Linc, you can’t call me that anymore. I’ve told you that before.”
He hit me with a confused look. “I thought we were working on something here.”
I wasn’t convinced I was up for this conversation. Not while anxiety and worry had me in their grips. My emotions were all over the place, and that wasn’t a good starting point when dealing with my ex. Linc had a way of twisting my words to suit himself, and a way of muddling my thinking. I’d known him for sixteen years. We’d been together for most of those years. He knew my triggers, and he wasn’t afraid to push them to get what he wanted. I’d had to learn how to manage my boundaries with him, and that usually required me being completely on my game. Today was not that kind of day.
“I appreciate everything you’ve done to help me through this, but I never once said we were working on something. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression.” I really didn’t think I had, though. But people often took what they wanted from an interaction, and miscommunications had always been a big part of our relationship.
He stayed silent for a good few moments and then his face twisted into an ugly expression. “Is this because that asshole showed up last night?”
Before I knew what was happening, a strong desire to defend King rushed up from deep inside. It was immediate and it was fierce. And I had no idea why the heck it forced itself on me, because defending him was the last thing I wanted to do after he’d
hurt me. But hearing Linc say nasty things about him drew out my protective side.
“Don’t call him that. And no, this has nothing to do with King.”
His brows lifted. “If you’re standing up for him, that says something, don’t you think? Fuck, Lil, doesn’t our marriage count for something? All those years we worked towards building—”
“You really wanna go down that path? Because if you do, I’ve got a whole heap of stuff to get off my chest concerning the work we were doing on our marriage. And none of it has anything to do with King, so let’s just leave him out of this, okay?”
“No, let’s fucking not. He hasn’t been here for you the last few days. Not like I have been. So I have no clue why you’d even look at him, let alone wanna be with him. And what about the fact you just stood by while I told him we were together? Are you playing both of us?”
He had my blood boiling now. It was as if all the sadness and worry I felt collided with my frustration and irritation, causing the perfect storm of anger. “Have I ever played you, Linc?” I yelled. “Have I ever been anything but supportive of you? God, you make me so freaking mad some days I could scream at you for hours. I’m sorry you got the wrong end of the stick about us, but I honestly didn’t say anything to make you assume I wanted you back. For the record, I will never take you back. You broke my heart when you cheated on me, and I could never trust you enough again to be with you. And as for King, what I do with him is none of your business.”
His lip pulled up in a snarl. “It is if it affects my kids.”
My eyes widened and I went at him with a ferocity I didn’t know I had in me. “Do not threaten me. You will not like the outcome if you do. I’ve worked hard to keep our relationship civil. You wanna threaten me? I won’t give a fuck about civil.”
He leaned closer to me and yelled, “Fuck you, Lily. You think you’re above me, but you aren’t. Just because you went and got yourself an education while I stayed home with the kids doesn’t mean you’re any fucking better than me.”