The One He Craves

by A Marie Johnson

  “I get you, boo. Lust at first sight can quickly turn into a false sense of true love. Especially when you’re already in a vulnerable state. I wouldn’t encourage you to jump into another relationship right after you end one, but I also wouldn’t encourage you to stop yourself from meeting and getting to know new people. You never know, Andretti might be the distraction you didn’t know you needed. And you deserve to add a little fun to your life, anyway.”

  I laughed because there was no doubt Bria would encourage me to be wild and reckless. She liked to live life on the edge and didn’t care who said what about it. I couldn’t deny that what she said didn’t hold some truth, either. After everything I’d been through with Britton, I did deserve to let my hair down and have a little fun.

  Still… I couldn’t help the mental battle I faced thinking about how good Andretti would be for my body but how bad he could be for my easily loving heart.

  4

  Andretti

  Wednesday…

  “Aye! Is Aniya here?” I yelled as I walked into my father and stepmother’s home.

  It didn’t take long for Bebe, my father’s wife, to holler at me from somewhere in the kitchen. I could hear pots and pans banging against each other as the familiar sound of her house shoes squeaked against the floor.

  “Andretti Jarell, what did I tell you about yelling as soon as you walk into my house? And please make sure you leave your shoes at the doormat before you step on my carpet. You’ve been forgetting lately, and I’m tired of having to scrub away dirt every week.”

  “Yes, ma’am!” I slipped my shoes off at the door and met her in the kitchen.

  “And what did I tell you about that ma’am business? Stop making me feel as old as I actually am, boy.” Bebe smiled and pulled me into a tight hug before she ushered me to the kitchen table. “You hungry?”

  “Always.”

  “Good. I got some baked chicken cooking in the oven, and I’m about to start making a head of cabbage and a big pot of mac and cheese. Your father eats like a bird these days and Aniya’s barely home. I don’t even know why you came here looking for that girl. You know her young ass thinks she’s grown now.” Bebe rolled her eyes and walked over to the oven to check on her food. “She had the nerve not to come home for three days last week, Dretti. I swear she wants me to strangle her hot tail. You or Andre really need to have a talk with her before I end up in jail behind her disrespectful mouth and behavior.”

  “What’s good with that? Why do you think she’s acting out like she wasn’t raised right?”

  Aniya’s sudden change in behavior didn’t make a lick of sense to me. She’d been a good girl all of her life, but within the past few months, she’d been acting like a straight up heathen. As if she wasn’t raised by two good parents who gave her whatever she wanted or needed. There was no reason for her to be out here ripping and running the streets. I’d kept her ass out of them so she wouldn’t wind up in some trouble she wouldn’t know how to handle. Now, she was out here seeking the shit.

  “You’ll have to ask her that, Dretti. I don’t know what the hell has gotten into her, but I know I’m ready to beat whatever it is out of her. Do you know she told me she’s not enrolling in nursing school anymore? She said some crazy mess about it being a waste of her time and that she’d rather keep working at the call center because they pay her well. I’m ‘bout sick of her little ass. She’s on the verge of getting put out since she thinks she’s grown and has all the answers.”

  I scrubbed my hair with my hand and rubbed the back of my neck. One of the veins on the side of it pulsed rapidly thinking about how out of control Aniya was becoming. She’d wanted to be a nurse since she was a little girl, and I’d go to war with her and whoever else before I let her give up on her dream because some fool of a man was messing with her young mind.

  “Do you think her change in behavior might have something to do with some nigga she’s messing around with? I’ve been hearing some shit about her from around the way that I don’t like.”

  Bebe whipped her head around so fast to look at me she almost gave me whiplash.

  “Hearing some shit like what? Don’t tell me she done got herself pregnant!”

  “Nah!” I clarified quickly. Thinking about Aniya being pregnant never even crossed my mind. I didn’t think she’d ever get that reckless. “It ain’t nothing that deep. Word on the street is that she’s messing around with some older dude she ain’t got no business seeing. Everybody’s been hush-hush about who it is, though. I can’t seem to pry his damn name out of anybody.”

  I left the part about Aniya butt dialing me and arguing with whoever the nigga was in the background because Bebe was liable to end up on an episode of The First 48, and I planned to get to the bottom of the situation myself. Aniya didn’t return any of my phone calls that day, and I’d searched high and low with no luck in finding her. I hadn’t heard from her in two days, and my patience was growing thin. If she didn’t return one of my phone calls in the next two days, I was going to put out a be-on-the-lookout alert for her sneaky ass.

  “Whew! Chile, you almost gave me a heart attack.” Bebe wiped the sweat from her forehead and went back to fixing her side dishes. “I had a feeling she might be seeing somebody, though, because whenever she is home she’s sneaking around on that damn cell phone, but she hasn’t said anything to me about who he is. It makes sense why now too.”

  My phone vibrated in my pocket before I could respond to Bebe, and I pulled it out and answered before seeing who was calling. Which was a big mistake on my part because it was the last person I wanted to hear from. An annoyed as fuck sigh slipped out of my mouth as soon as I heard the caller’s voice.

  “Really? So that’s how you respond when you hear my voice, Dretti? I thought we were better than that?”

  “What do you want, Emani? I’m in the middle of some shit right now, and I don’t have time to play games with you.”

  “Tell that ho you gotta go because you’re spending time with your family.” Bebe didn’t bother to keep her voice low.

  It was no secret that she never cared for my ex-girlfriend, Emani. She actually told it to her face a few times. Me and Emani only dated for five months, and for all five months, Bebe encouraged me to leave her alone. She told me the moment she met Emani that she meant me no good and I’d regret the day I made her mine. I couldn’t say she’d been wrong, either.

  “Tell Bebe I said hello,” Emani said with a laugh. “Anyway. I need a favor from you, Dretti.”

  “And the answer is hell no, Emani. Anything else?”

  Damn! I fucked around and gave Emani the dick the day I came home from Chicago, and she was already asking for favors. I didn’t even wanna lay the pipe on her wild ass, but I did it thinking fucking somebody else would take Nim off of my mind. I thought a more recent memory of a night with someone else would replace the night I shared with her, but it didn’t.

  If anything, smashing Emani made me think about Nim’s beautiful ass even more. Emani’s sex was mediocre compared to the sex I had with Nim, and I felt no emotional connection to her while I was inside of her. With Nim, I felt like our souls were attaching or some shit while we humped, and I still couldn’t figure out how that was possible. Nim and her voodoo-laced pussy made me feel things I’d never felt for any woman before. My feelings got the best of me while I laid it on her. They got the best of me so bad there came a point during our sex session where I told her I didn’t think we were fucking anymore, it felt like we were making love.

  “Stop being a fucking asshole, Andretti. This is serious. I need you to do something for me.”

  “I’m not being an asshole. I told you after we did what we did the other night that it didn’t change how I felt about you. So what would make you think I’d do a favor for your trifling ass?”

  “Oh my God! Are you seriously still mad about something that happened four months ago?”

  “Why the fuck wouldn’t I be?” Emani was starting to piss m
e off, and I was already having a bad day because of the unknown drama going on with Aniya. I didn’t have time to add more bullshit to my plate. “Wouldn’t you be mad if I fucked one of your homegirls while we were together? Get the fuck out of here with that are you still mad bullshit. Ima be mad about that trifling ass shit for the rest of my life. Call that nigga up and ask him to do whatever it is you need.”

  I hung up the phone and tossed it on the table while Bebe chuckled in the background. She would never come out and say I told you so but I knew deep down she wanted to.

  I wouldn’t say Emani broke my heart or anything like that because I hadn’t made it to the point where I felt like I loved her while we were dating, but I did fuck with her heavy, and when I found out she slept with one of my homies, it hella bruised my ego. I’d never had that type of betrayal happen to me before, and I stopped fucking with both of them afterward. Like the snake Emani proved herself to be, she was able to slither her way back into my bed from time to time. That shit was dead now, though. I could tell by our phone call that her feelings were starting to get involved again, and I’d never get back with her. I never wanted her to think that might even be a possibility.

  5

  Nim

  Thursday…

  “Excuse me, everyone, but I have to take this phone call.”

  I attempted to get up from the restaurant table I was sitting at with Britton and his parents, but he tugged me back down by my hand and frowned.

  “Is it really that important, Nim? We’re enjoying a nice dinner right now. Can’t it wait?”

  “No.” I pulled my hand away and cursed lowly under my breath when I realized my cell phone was no longer ringing. “You never have a problem taking business calls when we’re eating out with my parents. Why should it be any different for me when we’re eating with yours?”

  “You can’t compare my business calls with yours, Nim, they’re not the same.”

  “Says freaking who?” I whispered harshly, trying to keep the conversation between the two of us, but Britton insisted on irritating me in the worst way possible.

  As I stared into his eyes, I couldn’t even recognize the man I was looking at. He was nothing like the man I’d first met. The sweet, charming, sexy shade of chocolate who swooped me off of my feet within the first week I’d met him during our senior year of college was nowhere to be found. The day his father, Bryce, promoted him to vice president of their real estate company he completely changed. Britton wore his status like a badge of honor and started to act like he and what he did was better than anyone and everything around him.

  “I’m not going to argue with you about this in front of my parents, baby.” Britton grabbed his fork and pointed at the picked-over steak and potatoes on my plate. “Finish your food so we can order dessert.”

  “I’m not your damn child, Britton. Don’t tell me what to do. If you guys want dessert, order it without me.”

  Pushing myself away from the table, I stood up and made my way to the bar area of Longhorn Steakhouse. I had no desire to have dinner with Britton or his parents to begin with. Actually, no, I honestly wouldn’t mind having dinner with just his parents because they were usually very nice and welcoming. It was Britton I didn’t want to be seen out in public with. I was tired of putting on a perfect-couple image when we weren’t anything close to it.

  I was tired of his entitled acting ass period. I couldn’t believe I once foolishly thought that one-day things between us would go back to how they were in the beginning and he would finally realize how much he’d hurt me. That he would fix every mistake he’d made because deep down he knew he really did love me. I couldn’t believe I focused on our good times and pushed through the bad ones for so long. I was beyond ready to be done with him for good.

  “Can I start you off with one of our signature cocktails, ma’am?” a female bartender asked as soon as I took a seat at the bar counter.

  “No, thank you. I’m good.”

  “Ok. Let me know if anything changes.”

  I watched her disappear to the other end of the bar and dialed, Steeze, the client who called me while I’d been going back and forth with Britton. He was a local rapper who recently signed a big record deal with a major rap label. Over the weekend, he reached out to me on Instagram and said he’d be contacting me soon regarding a summer party he wanted to throw. Throwing an event for someone as popular as he was would be a huge help for my business—financially and professionally.

  “Aye yo, Nim. What’s good, ma? I was hoping you’d hit me back soon so this is perfect timing. You got a few minutes to talk about the party I was messaging you about?”

  “Of course I do. Tell me more about what you need and what you’re looking to do.”

  “Aight coo’. What I’m tryna do is actually real simple. I’m looking to throw the hood’s first mansion party. Some real exclusive type shit to start the summer off right. I already have the house rented out, names of the two DJs I need, and most of the setup for the party in mind. All I really need you to do is put it all together for me and make it happen.”

  The excitement in Steeze’s voice made me smile and temporarily forget about the bad mood Britton put me in. Working with new clients and hearing the happiness in their voices when they explained what they wanted me to do always placed me in a good mood. I loved everything about listening to their visions and bringing them to life.

  “OK, OK. I can do that. That sounds real promising. What’s the address to the house? I’d like to check it out soon, and when are you wanting to have the party thrown?”

  “The house is off of 32nd and Miami Street. It’s a real dope mini-mansion in that nice Miami Heights community right across the street from Salem Baptist Church. The date of the party is still tentative, but I’m leaning more towards the end of June or early July. Would that work with your schedule and everything?”

  “That wouldn’t be a problem for me at all. Who are the DJs you want? I can reach out to them now and let them know some of the details about the party and when it might be.”

  “Can I hit you with their information later, Nim? My manager is tryna get through on the other line right now, and I really need to rap with him about some shit. Ima call you back in an hour or two, though. I promise.”

  “Oh, yeah. Of course. Handle your business, and I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you later.”

  “Word. Good looking out, ma.”

  Ending the call with Steeze, I swiveled around in the bar chair and was prepared to jump up from it until I saw a man standing in my way.

  Not just any man, either.

  My heart rate momentarily sped up, and I felt a tingling sensation run from the tips of my fingers and down to my toes. It’d been four days since the night I shared with Andretti, and I hadn’t expected to run into him again so soon… or at all for that matter.

  My eyes immediately fixed on his lush pink lips, and flutters swarmed every which way inside of my stomach. Those didn’t last too long, though, because the disapproving look Andretti’s eyes were giving me quickly swatted them all away.

  “So you got a nigga, huh? That shit is wild as fuck, Nim. You let me dick you down and then went home to your man like I didn’t ruin any future sex you’d have with him. ‘Cause I know his ass ain’t hitting it right. Not with the way you gave it to me.”

  My lips slightly parted and mouth went dry as I thought about what I could say back to him. No matter what I said, I’d look like a ho in his eyes, and there wasn’t much that would make me seem right in the matter.

  “I swear it’s not even what you think, Andretti. Britton and I…”

  “Britton?” He chuckled and rubbed his forehead. “What kind of corny ass name is that? Sounds like a bitch’s name to me.”

  “Are you going to let me explain or not?”

  I officially wasn’t in a good mood again. I was trying to explain myself to a man who probably hadn’t thought about me as much as I’d thought about him since we’d
had sex, and he had the nerve to be a clown.

  “Nah, baby. No explanation is needed. We had a good time, and it’s over now. What’s there to explain? If anything, you need to explain to that nigga why you’re not sexually attracted to him anymore.”

  “Oh my God. Are you seriously being this fucking arrogant right now? Seeing me here with him must’ve really touched a nerve because you’re feeling yourself a little too damn much.”

  Andretti was tap dancing on all of my good nerves too. I hated how he tried to downplay the night we shared together. Like we both didn’t feel the sparks flying between us while he made love to my body.

  “Nah. No nerves touched. I’m good. I didn’t plan on seeing you again after that night, anyway. Today is just a coincidence.”

  My goodness! He was truly being a certified asshole. My nostrils flared and hands clamped tightly together as I tried to keep them from wrapping around his damn neck.

  “Is that right? So you can honestly tell me you never once thought about seeing me again? You never once thought about me after you, out of your own mouth, told me we were making love while we were having sex? Is that how you fuck every woman?”

  Andretti stared at me blankly and shrugged his shoulders.

  “It doesn’t matter how I fuck other women. The only thing that matters right now is that you’ve proven to me exactly why I don’t trust women who let me smash on the first night. You had a whole nigga at home and let me fuck you like he didn’t exist. That shit is trifling, Nim, and you know it. I don’t attach myself to women like you.”

  “You don’t know anything about me or my situation! Who the hell are you to judge me?” I jumped up from the barstool and pushed Andretti hard in the chest. “It’s niggas like you who have the audacity to make women feel like they’re not perfect enough when ain’t shit you’ve done in your life been perfect! I didn’t make you fuck me, and I didn’t owe you any truth about my situation! You’re the exact type of man I’m trying to get away from! How dare you to try and make me feel like I’m not worthy of being trusted or attached to when you didn’t even let me explain why I did what I did!”