by S A Clayton
I turn, gasping at the sight of him shirtless, with low hanging pajama pants giving me an eyeful. My brain short-circuits as I continue to look around the room.
“When did you…”
He gives me that smirk and when his eyes finally leave mine and take in the room surrounding us, I let out a breath.
“When I picked him up from school, he kept talking about how worried he was about how Santa wouldn’t know where he was, and he would miss Christmas. Plus, he complained for about fifteen minutes straight about how un-Christmassy my apartment was, so I fixed it.” He shrugs, like what he just told me doesn’t change everything.
“You fixed it,” I repeat, trying to gather myself because what I want to do right now is just wrap myself around him and never let go.
“I will say that hanging that sign on your door felt like overkill, but it made the little man happy.”
I scrunch my nose, not knowing what he’s talking about. When he senses my confusion, he motions with a nod of his head to go out into the hall.
As I open the door and see a big red sign that says Santa, Jaxon is across the hall, I can’t help but laugh.
“He told me to write that too.”
I turn, tears once again glistening in my eyes as his stare turns from happiness to concern right before I launch myself into his arms, my lips molding to his. It doesn’t take him long to react, his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me even closer.
“You okay?” he asks, breaking the kiss as our breaths start to even out. Leaning my head against his chest as his arms wrap around me.
When I nod, he kisses the top of my head. “Where’s Jaxon?” I ask as his scent surrounds me, calming my racing heart.
“I made up the spare room, even went to your place, and got his spaceship comforter. You know, that thing looks so small in the middle of that queen bed.” We both laugh as the passion starts to defuse.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “Thank you for taking care of him, I really appreciate it.” The words get stuck in my throat because asking for his help wasn’t something I ever wanted to do.
“Anything you need, I’m here.” Our eyes meet and I know he means it.
Chapter 12
I’m done.
Gone.
Whipped beyond belief, because Nel standing in front of me, thanking me for taking care of her son and giving me those gorgeous brown eyes, causes my heart to stop. That woman could ask for anything and I would give it to her.
How did I go from fucking faceless groupies every other night to fantasizing about kissing one woman? I tried to keep my cool as we walked back into the apartment, my eyes following her down the hall and into the spare room as she closed the door behind her.
I don’t know how long I stand there, the feel of her lips still lingering as I clean up the mess Jaxon and I made making ornaments. The decorations are a bit much for my taste, but the kid seems to love them, and that’s all that matters. Once everything is put away, I head into the kitchen, stopping at the fridge and grabbing a beer.
“I thought you would be in bed by now.” Nellie’s voice breaks through my fog as I stare at the woman that has taken up every aspect of my life. “Jaxon can take a toll on most people. I’m surprised you’re still standing.” She chuckles at her own joke as I take her in. Black hair falling loosely across her shoulders, the old T-shirt that has definitely seen better days, and the pair of bright pink boy shorts that peak out with every step she takes toward me.
“Yeah, I just needed something a little stronger than Capri-Sun.” We both laugh, knowing that my fridge is now stocked with that shit, along with something called Go-Gurt and fruit snacks.
“I know this is probably so far from the life you’re used to.”
I tilt my head to the side, wondering what she means. “I saw the pictures scattered around the house again.”
Once again, my eyes must convey confusion because she just smiles and continues. “I also saw the platinum records and hit singles you hid in the closet.” She motions to the only closet I have down the hall as I close my eyes, remembering when I stashed them there hoping to forget about that life for a while.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were in a band? And by the looks of it, a very famous one at that?”
How do I answer this question when I don’t even know the answer myself? So I take a deep breath and give it a try.
“I didn’t want you to know that side of me.” The admission catches us both off guard as she walks closer, fitting herself against the island across from me.
“What’s so bad about that side of you?”
My eyes scan the ceiling, trying to think of a way to explain it to her without sounding like an egotistical jerk.
“There’s nothing really wrong with him per se. He was just used to living a certain way…” I trail off, hoping she gets it, but groan when I see the teasing look in her eyes.
“So what you’re saying is you were a manwhore and got whatever you wanted at a drop of a hat?”
For a second I take offense, wanting to defend my work ethic and the empire we created, but I know she didn’t mean to insult my career, just my sex life.
“It’s not my fault the ladies flocked to me no matter where I went.”
The sound that comes out of her is something between a groan and a surprised intake of breath.
“Wow, all that attention really did a number on you, didn’t it?”
That is not the reaction I was expecting.
“Why did you leave?”
The lightness in the room disappears and all of a sudden, the weight I’ve been avoiding crashes on my shoulders.
“Something was missing,” I start, trying to explain what I felt the night of our last tour. “When I’m on stage, it’s like I’m a different person. I become someone else.”
She nods, not saying a word.
“But when I go back to my place? When I try to write songs that I hope our fans will love, there’s this weight on me that never seems to go away, and it gets worse with each album.”
“You’re fighting yourself.”
And just like that, she puts all my feelings into three simple words. Because yes, that is exactly what it feels like and I’ve spent the last year trying to figure that out.
“So, you decided to leave the band, and now what? You’re trying to be a normal person?” The sarcasm in her voice can’t be ignored, so I push away from the counter and stalk toward her, slowly.
“And what do you know about being a normal person? Because from where I’m standing you’re anything but normal, sweetheart.”
She cocks her head to the side, wondering what I mean, so I lean in until my lips are a hairsbreadth away from the shell of her ear.
“You are so fucking incredible, the way you take care of Jax, work full time, all while looking like something out of my wet dreams.”
Her intake of breath lets me know I’ve affected her, but when she moans into my shoulder, my fingers grazing her hip, finding the hem of her shirt and pulling her closer, I’m done fighting this.
“Dane, we can’t…” she whispers, her fingers gripping my waist, holding me steady.
“Why not? I know you feel this. I know you want me as much as I want you.”
She lowers her head until it’s resting against my chest and before I think better of it, I kiss her temple, loving the sigh that escapes her.
“I do feel this, I think that’s pretty obvious from the multiple times my mouth has been on yours.”
My growl is involuntary but necessary.
“But my life doesn’t mesh with yours. Especially now that I know your more than my neighbor. You’re famous, Dane, and I can’t put my kid through that.”
“Who says I want to go back?” There it is. The truth I’ve been holding in for the past few weeks. “Who says that t
he guy who recorded all of those albums, wrote all of those songs, and slept with all of those women even exists anymore?”
Her head is still planted on my chest as she shakes it, not believing a word I’m saying.
“I’m not that guy anymore, and if I’m being honest with myself, I haven’t been that guy for a very long time.”
Finally, she lifts her head, her gaze meeting mine, desire clouding her features, I know I can’t hold back anymore. So, I lean down and kiss her. Because that is the only thing I want right now. More than music, more than a hit song, and more than the air I breathe. I just want to feel her against me.
Chapter 13
I knew he was going to kiss me the second our eyes met. I’d seen that look before and the memory of what that look meant set my skin on fire, and before I have the chance to second-guess if this is a good idea, he’s on me and I’m melting into his touch.
I’m not pretending I don’t want this; I’m done hiding behind my son as an excuse to get him to leave me alone because the feelings that are coursing through my blood right now are something I never want to let go of.
“Dane…” I moan as his lips fall from mine, trailing down my neck as his fingers play with the hem of my T-shirt.
“Did you wear this to drive me fucking insane? Because that’s what you’re doing.”
The words are muttered against my skin and not meant for a reply. His fingers skim the outside of my thighs, causing a shiver to roll through my entire body as his lips find purchase in the crook of my neck.
“Dane, please…” I beg. I don’t think he realizes how much I need this; how much I’ve fought against this for the last week and how much my body is craving his touch right now.
“How long has it been?” He growls, pulling away and placing his palms against the side of my cheek.
I shake my head, not really wanting to answer that question.
“Look at me, sweetheart.”
I shake my head again, my eyes staying locked on the kitchen floor. When he takes a deep breath, his thumb grazing the sides of my face, I can’t help it as my eyes meet his.
“What do you want?” I whisper, his hand falling from my face to the hem of my shirt, playing with the edge before delving underneath to find me wet and wanting.
“Oh, sweetheart, I want a lot of things.” His tongue darts out, licking up my neck while his hands grip the side of my boy shorts. “I want to know why you wear these and why the hell they look so much sexier on you than anyone else…”
I moan, melting into the feel of his fingers delving past the waistband of my panties only to find my folds soaking.
“I want to know what caused you to be this turned on… was it the way I kissed you in the hall? Was it the way I looked at you the second you walked into this kitchen looking like my very own wet dream come to life? Or maybe it was the way my fingers danced all over your skin, letting you know exactly what my touch can do…”
I just nod, knowing that he’s being a cocky bastard, but it’s warranted.
“Let me ask you this again, so I know exactly how fast or slow to take this, how long has it been?”
God, why did he have to ask it like that, so demanding and yet so sweet at the same time?
I hate it.
Reluctantly I take a deep breath and whisper, “Two years and eight months.” Yes, I’ve counted, yes I’m desperate, and yes, I will climb him like a tree if he doesn’t move those fingers that are currently resting just above my clit.
“Damn,” he mutters before trailing kisses down my neck once more. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
I hold in my groan of frustration because I know he’s just being sweet, but that is not what I want right now.
“Don’t ask stupid questions,” I murmur before sealing my lips to his as he hoists me up onto the counter, my legs wrapping around his waist. My fingers tangle in the hair at the base of his skull as I pull him closer, and it’s like a dam break because the kiss I was getting before is nothing compared to the ones he’s giving me now.
Just as I’m about to take his hand and place it against my heat, he wraps those talented fingers around my panties and rips them from my body. My surprised gasp spurs him on, his fingers finding my folds, lightly tracing around the one spot that I’m craving the most.
“Dane, don’t make me beg anymore.”
His chuckle ripples through my entire body as his kisses become more and more aggressive.
“Fuck, sweetheart, you are so wet.”
I wondered what his voice would sound like when we were like this, but that was nothing compared to the man standing in front of me. I make a desperate sound as my hips leave the counter, searching for some kind of release. I’m about to beg once again when his fingers find my clit, causing a wave of pleasure to rock through my body. My fingers grasp his shoulders, holding on as my hips grind against every stroke of his fingers. It’s been so long I’ve wondered if I could even reach orgasm at the hands of someone else, but from the way my body is responding to every stroke of those talented fingers, I’d say it’s a good bet I’ll go off like a rocket.
“You have no idea…” he mutters against my skin, kissing lightly down my neck and across my exposed shoulder. “You have no idea how edible you look right now.”
My head falls back as the unmistakable heat travels from my stomach to my core and before long, my legs begin to shake. “That’s it, sweetheart, I want you to come all over my fingers so I can take you right here, right now. Come for me, Nel.” Those are the words that set me off, causing my back to arch, a silent scream leaving my body as an orgasm so powerful pulses through me.
“Dane!” I groan, feeling the aftershocks after every pass of his fingers against my clit. I’m boneless, utterly sated, and not sure I can move.
“Nel, look at me.”
I do, his hooded gaze meeting mine, and all I can see is pure desire. The second his fingers leave my heat, I watch as he brings them to his lips, tasting me.
“You have no idea, do you?”
I give him a questioning glance as he levels me that cocky-as-hell smirk I’ve grown to love so much. “You have no idea the effect you have on me. Your fucking taste is going to haunt me for years, the way you come undone under my touch is something I will keep with me for the rest of my life. You are incredible.”
He doesn’t wait for my response before he strips the shirt from my body, his lips zeroing in on each breast as my back arches once more. My hands trail down the expanse of his chest, loving the way his muscles ripple under my touch as I get closer and closer to the one thing I’ve been dying to see.
“Are you sure about this?” he asks once more as I roll my eyes.
“Dane, if you don’t drop those pants right now and show me exactly what you can do with that thing,” I say, pointing to his impressive cock that is currently tenting the fabric of his pants. “Then I will have no choice but to dismember you one limb at a time…” I lean into him, my lips brushing his neck as I whisper, “And I will start with that cock of yours.”
His chuckle turns into a groan as my fingers wrap around his erection, palming it until his legs begin to shake.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Finally.
Chapter 14
This woman surprises me at every turn. At first, I thought she’d be shy, hesitant because it’s been so long since she’s been with someone, but the second her fingers wrap around my cock and squeeze, my vision blurs, and my legs start to shake. I had it so wrong.
Nellie is a woman who knows exactly what she wants and right now she wants me to fuck her, so it makes sense that I do the one thing any sane man would do in this situation… give the lady what she wants.
Without hesitation, I remove her hand, drop my pants as I push her back onto the counter. With her legs spread wide, I know I can’t hold back anymor
e as I lean down, brushing my tongue against her soaked folds, groaning at the taste. She’s fucking incredible, especially when her hands tangle themselves in my hair, pulling me closer as her pussy grinds against my face.
“Jesus, Dane.” Her voice shudders at the same time her legs lock and before long she’s going over the edge once again as I bask in the taste that floods my mouth. It’s hot as hell that she goes off when I touch her, that one lick of my tongue has her so on edge and yet right now all I can think about is slamming into her and hearing her scream my name.
Just as I place my cock at her entrance, the warmth of her pussy wrapping around my tip, I realize I’m not wrapped, and curse. “I don’t have a condom.” My head hits her chest as her fingers dig into my hair. Nel’s hips continue to grind against me, and for the first time in a long time, I want more. More than just sex, more than just the ability to get my rocks off with a woman and go about the rest of my life. I know that the moment I sink into this woman, the moment her heat wraps around me, I’ll be hooked.
“I’m on the pill,” she whispers against my hair and I stop breathing, my head lifting from her chest, so our eyes meet.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to, we can go into my room down the hall.” She shakes her head, her legs wrapping tighter around my hips and pulling me even deeper inside her.
“No, I want you here. Please.”
God, her pleading will be the death of me.
“Are you sure?”
She rolls her eyes for the second time tonight and I can’t take it anymore. I kiss her, all of my needs, all of my selfishness in doing what I’m about to do comes through in that kiss. And when she takes hold of my cock in her small hand and places it at her entrance once more, I shiver, knowing after this moment there’s no going back.
In my head I go slow, I let her adjust to my size but the second her heat wraps around me, all thoughts of going slow leave my brain. I surge, slamming into her once as her mouth opens on a silent scream that never comes. Her eyes close as her fingers dig into my skin, leaving marks as I wait for her to adjust to my size.