Holiday Hookup

by S A Clayton

  “I don’t know if I can handle you going back there.”

  His fingers squeeze mine, reminding me that he’s still holding me.

  “I know you care for us. I know you love the life you’ve created here, but what if you go back and realize that’s the life you want? What if—”

  He cuts me off by placing his finger against my mouth.

  “There is nothing on this earth that would make me want to leave you and Jaxon. I know our relationship is new, I know we’re on rocky ground right now, but I have to leave and I need you to trust the fact that I want to be with you and only you while I’m gone. Okay?”

  “Okay,” I whisper, hoping the fears I know will surface the second he leaves this apartment stay at bay, because I’m falling in love with Dane Thompson, and he has the ability to shatter my heart into a million pieces.

  Chapter 20

  These last three days have been utter hell. I’ve plastered that stupid smile on my face so many times that I think my face might actually be broken. I hate everything about what I’m doing. I hate pretending that the band’s back together for the sake of the media, I hate pretending that we are recording when in fact we’re sitting in a room negotiating our contract, and I hate being away from Nel and Jaxon.

  “Dane, please. Just listen to us, we just want one more record, you don’t even have to tour, just record the album and you’ll be done.” That’s Brent trying to appease everyone but we both know that the label will want a tour, especially if it gets out that this is our last one. The fans will eat up a farewell tour more than any of our last ones combined. I know that he knows that, and from the satisfied smirk on Frankie’s face, he knows that too.

  “Dane.” I look over at my lawyer, wondering why I pay him so much fucking money if he can’t get me out of this. “Why don’t you go back to the hotel, think about everything and we can talk again in the morning.”

  I nod my head, not saying a word as I leave the room, calling for my ride and waiting by the back entrance just to avoid being seen by my fans. This is why I moved away. This anxious, nervous feeling I get whenever I’m here is clawing its way back into my bones and all I want to do is call Nellie and hear her sweet voice. I want to talk to Jaxon and hear how his day was, what he did at school and what his new favorite TV show is.

  I miss them.

  “Hey, you…” The sound of Nellie’s voice is music to my ears as I lay down on my bed and stare at the television that is currently showing some sitcom I’ve never seen before.

  “Hey, sweetheart, did I wake you?” I look at the time and realize it might be after her bedtime, but when I hear her whispered laugh, I smile.

  “No, I just put Jaxon to bed for the fourth time tonight.” She sighs, and I wish I could be there to help her. “How was your day?” She yawns as I toe off my shoes and get comfortable.

  “Frustrating,” I admit, telling her everything that happened in the meeting, including the fact that everyone wants me to record another album.

  “And you for sure don’t want that?” she questions, and I think about it for a second because this is the first time in months that I have someone to talk to about this shit.

  “Honestly, I was afraid when I came back here that I’d change my mind. That I’d fall in love with this life all over again…”

  “And did you?” The fear in her voice breaks my heart.

  This is what I was afraid of when I left, that she’d take that as proof that what I said on Christmas Day didn’t mean anything, that the fact that I was falling in love with her had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me just wanting out of my contract.

  “Not even a little bit.”

  Her sigh of relief washes over me as I tilt my head back and close my eyes.

  “I miss you,” I confess, loving her intake of breath as I groan into my empty hotel room.

  “I miss you too, do you know when you’re coming home?”

  “God, I love that you call your place home,” I admit as I sit up, pinching the bridge of my nose as I imagine what life would be like if her place was my home. “I don’t know, I hope it’s soon, but with negotiations going so horribly today, it doesn’t look good.” When Nel says nothing, I take a deep breath. “You still there, sweetheart?”

  “Yeah, I just hate being this far away from you, and knowing you’re over there surrounded by all those women that would do anything to be yours…”

  “Stop, Nellie. Stop that train of thought right in its tracks because it’s bullshit. If I was able, I would fly home to you and Jaxon right now, but I need to stay and figure this out. For me and for us, okay?”

  Her breath hitches and I know she’s crying.

  “Nel, baby, you’re breaking my heart.” I would do anything to be able to hold her in my arms right now… to show her exactly how much she means to me, but right now my voice is the only thing I have.

  “I-I’m s-sorry—” she whimpers, and my heart constricts.

  “Baby, listen to me. I will be home as soon as I can, okay? If you want, I can fly you and Jaxon here.” I hate this idea for the sole reason of the press finding out about them, but if it makes her feel better, I’ll do it.

  “We can’t. Jaxon has school starting next week and Brian’s coming over this weekend to take him so…”

  I silently curse, knowing she’s right.

  “We’ll figure something out, okay?”

  She yawns again as the guilt washes over me again; I’m taking away her sleep.

  “You’re tired, baby, why don’t you go to sleep?”

  She agrees as we say goodnight, hoping I can get this shit done fast so I can get my ass back to my woman and never leave her again.

  It’s been two fucking weeks and I’m still in LA, calling Nel every night, trying to make up for the fact that I’m not where either of us wants me to be. I’m not going to say it’s been easy; the phone sex has been off the charts and FaceTime has also done wonders but it’s not the same. I miss her with every fiber of my being and so last night I begged my lawyer to find something, anything for me to get out of this fucking contract once and for all. Which leads me to right now.

  “There is one option I haven’t told you about yet.” Dave, my lawyer, looks at me from across the table as I stare at him with a blank expression.

  “At this point I will pay any amount of money just to be rid of the label and everything that comes with it,” I mutter, looking at my phone screen which has a picture of Nel and Jaxon on Christmas.

  “Well, I’m glad you said that because there is a clause that states that if you wish to break your contract, you can pay a sum of money put forth by the label and forfeit all royalties accrued after the agreement is made and you will be free to go.”

  I must be in shock because there is no way it could be that easy.

  “Seriously? That’s it?” I ask, wondering why we didn’t talk about this before.

  “It can be. But I will tell you right now that the sum of money depends on what the label thinks you’re worth, and right now I’m going to be straight with you, it will be a lot. I’m guessing in the low tens of millions.”

  My eyes bulge.

  “I know you can afford that Dane, but right now I’m concentrating on trying to get that cost down as low as possible for you to continue the life you lead.”

  We agree that this is the course of action we’re gonna take and he leaves, knowing that the next few days are going to be utter hell.

  Just as I shut the door, there’s a knock, and when I open it I’m not prepared to see Frankie standing in my doorway, sober, asking to talk. But I let him in, needing to get everything out in the open because right now the tension between us is palpable and I hate it.

  “Look, Dane. I know I’ve been an ass these last few weeks.”

  I don’t say anything but lead him into the li
ving area and sit on the couch. There’s a bottle of scotch next to me and I take it and pour myself a glass. I ask if he wants one, but when he shakes his head, I just shrug and sip mine instead.

  “You might say that.”

  He gives me a look as I motion for him to continue whatever the hell he was about to say.

  “I know you want out and I get that.”

  “Do you really? Because I honestly believe you think you get it, but you have no fucking clue what’s going on inside my head.”

  “You’re right, I don’t. And it’s my fault for not asking you.”

  We’re silent for a minute before his eyes meet mine and I see the question in his eyes, so I sigh, put down my drink, leaning my elbows on my knees.

  “Being a lead singer sucks.”

  He scoffs at the idea, but I continue.

  “I thought when we started this all those years ago that being the lead singer would mean girls, attention, and more girls. And in a way, that is exactly what I got. But I never thought of the consequences that came with all of that attention.”

  Frankie rolls his eyes as I finish off my drink and put the glass down on the table in front of us.

  “You don’t get it. You never did,” I mutter, getting up from my spot on the couch and heading toward the window.

  “Then enlighten me. Tell me what I don’t know.”

  “There was so much pressure on me all the time. I needed to look a certain way, dress a certain way, and act the right way all the fucking time. Every interview we did, every question was directed at me. All the songs were either written by me or I co-wrote them. Every concert I had to be in perfect health because if we had to cancel then I’d feel awful when fans would rip me apart for being too sick to sing.”

  Frankie sits there and says nothing because there is nothing to say.

  “I’m tired, man. What I found when I was outside of this hellhole of a city was perfection. Nel and her son showed me a life I never knew I could have. Something normal, something innocent and it didn’t come at a cost. It was simple.”

  “But what about us?” I don’t miss the hurt in his voice, and I know this is hard for him, it’s not easy for me either.

  “Frankie, you need to understand that this isn’t some decision I’m making on a whim. I’ve been thinking about this for years.”

  He nods, and I finally think I’m getting through to him.

  “No matter what happens, you will always be Blanked Edge, even without me.”

  “Dane, we built this together, I don’t want to do this without you.” His voice cracks and I begin to realize that Frankie isn’t really upset about the album, he’s upset about me leaving, and I can work with that.

  “I know this whole situation seems devastating,” I start. “But right now, this is something that I need to do. Not just for me, but for you guys too. I’m holding you back. My songwriting isn’t as strong, my voice isn’t what it used to be, and I know you and Brent have ideas on where to take the band, ones that don’t include me.”

  His eyes bulge and I know I hit the nail on the head.

  “It’s okay, Frankie, I’m not upset, I’m grateful. You guys are so talented, way more than I ever was, so leaving the band in your hands is the right thing to do.”

  It takes a few more hours of conversation but I finally get him to see my side of the story, and I hope I can convince the label to do the same.

  Chapter 21

  Jaxon knocks on my door loudly, yelling that he’s hungry and needs breakfast, and I groan into my pillow, hating the sunlight that is peeking through my curtains. I am not a morning person. I hate it with every fiber of my being and yet I have a child that loves waking up at six in the morning on a Saturday when he should be sleeping in. Heck, when I should be sleeping in.

  “Come on, Mommy, my stomach is about to eat itself!” he screams, and I can’t help but laugh.

  My child is as dramatic as any girl you will ever meet and as I get out of bed, retying my hair up in the bun it escaped from during the night, I wonder what my life would be like without him. I shake those thoughts away, hating that scenario and picking my phone up off my bedside table where it’s been charging all night.

  DANE: I miss you.

  Dane’s text sends a smile across my face. My morning texts from him are always the same. Telling me he misses me, that he can’t wait to talk to me. But if I’m honest, I don’t know how much longer I can take this. Watching all those gossip news channels on TV is getting under my skin. Jenn tells me I need to stop watching them, and I know she’s right, but I’m a glutton for punishment, I guess.

  Just as I make my way into the kitchen there’s a knock at the door, and before I can answer it, Jaxon opens the door and screams, “Dane!” Launching himself into the arms of the man I’ve dreamed about seeing for the past month. His short black hair is striking against his pale skin, and I can see how tired he is as his eyes meet mine.

  “Jaxon James, what have I told you about answering the door!” I yell, hating myself at first because I do not love yelling at my child, but the nervous feeling I’m getting in my chest is so overwhelming I have no idea what to do.

  “Sorry, Mommy,” he whispers, his chin tucked against his chest as his eyes look to the ground.

  God, the freaking guilt that washes over me when I see his teary eyes. And when I crouch down next to him, it almost becomes too much.

  “It’s okay, sweetie. Why don’t you go to your room for a minute so I can talk to Dane.”

  He goes to question me, obviously wanting to spend time with Dane too, but I can’t, not until I know why he’s here and why he didn’t tell me he was coming.

  “Jaxon…” I warn, and he stomps his feet all the way down the hall until I hear the door slam. Definitely going to have a chat with him about that later.

  “It’s done,” he says with a smug smile on his face, a face I missed so freaking much over these last few weeks.

  “What?” I whisper, hopeful that he means exactly what I think he means.

  “It’s over.” The tears that have been threatening to fall for the past few minutes are now streaming down my cheeks as he walks into the apartment, cupping my face in his hands and bringing his forehead to mine.

  “Are you seriously home for good?” I ask, needing one more reassurance to make this a reality. And when he chuckles, bringing my eyes to his and giving me that smile I love so much, I know it’s true. Instead of answering me, he brings his mouth down to mine in a searing kiss that sets my skin on fire. When we finally break apart, he leads me to the couch, placing me in his lap.

  “I’m sorry it took so long,” he mutters against the sensitive skin of my neck. “I signed over all of my rights to Blanked Edge. I will no longer receive any royalties and I gave Frankie and Brent permission to use my face until they found a new front man.”

  I’m speechless for a second wondering if what he did was the right thing.

  “I also gave the label all the rights to my lyrics, master recordings, and any songs we recorded but never released.”

  “But those are yours. Don’t you want to keep those for when you want to get back into music?”

  He shakes his head, bringing my lips back to his for a light kiss.

  “I don’t need that life anymore. Will I always love music? Of course. But I no longer have this need to perform and become famous.”

  When I give him a questioning look, he smiles.

  “I’m not giving up music for good, sweetheart. I can also sell my lyrics to other artists if I ever write again. That’s all I’ll need. I promise.”

  I go to question him once more and he kisses me, fogging up my brain enough for me to forget what I was about to say.

  “So the label was okay with those terms?” I ask after a few minutes of trying to catch my breath, and Dane just starts laughing.


  “Hell no. They also wanted me to pay seven million dollars to secure the loss they think they will accrue when the band releases the next album without me.”

  When my eyes widen, his grip tightens around my waist.

  “And you were okay with that?”

  “Not really, but it got me what I wanted and for that alone, it was worth it.”

  I don’t say anything, his fingers caress the sides of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

  “I meant what I said on Christmas Day. I’m falling in love with you, you and Jaxon. And no matter what happens, that will never change. You are the one thing I never saw coming, and yet I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

  Tears start to form as I place my hand on the back of his neck and pull him closer.

  “Kiss me,” I demand as he obliges without hesitation. At first, the kiss is sweet, almost sensual but after a few minutes his lips begin to devour me and it’s not until I hear Jaxon running down the hall that we break apart.

  “When does Brian get Jaxon next?”

  I smile at the suggestion before telling him he goes there this weekend.

  “Be prepared, sweetheart, because we will be making up for the lost time.”

  God, I hope so.

  Epilogue

  “Jaxon, sweetie, can you come help with the dishes!” I yell from the kitchen, and when I don’t hear anything but laughter coming from down the hall, I shake my head, smiling as I make my way toward Jaxon’s room.

  I don’t know when we fell into this life, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. It took a few months, but Dane finally convinced me to move Jaxon and me into his palace, since according to him, “we spend all of our time here anyway.” He’s not wrong, but the idea of uprooting my son and living with someone else caused me a bit of a panic attack, that is until Jenn convinced me that Jaxon loved Dane and that moving in with him wasn’t all that big of a step considering we did it once already.