Built To Last (Sweet Contemporary Romance)

by Allie Kincaid

  “Okay, sweetie. I’ll let Austin know. Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I’ve just got a headache, so I’m going to go home and sleep it off.”

  Ashley chuckled. “I bet that headache’s name is Jake, huh?”

  Erin shoved her fist in her mouth. She couldn’t cry on the phone. Couldn’t let anyone know how Jake had humiliated her. “No, really, just a headache. Tell Austin I’ll talk to him later.”

  Erin clicked off before she was grilled any more. She scanned the half-full parking lot. She didn’t know where to go. What to do. She couldn’t go home. She didn’t want to run into her father with his girlfriend again, but she needed time to process everything Jake had said to her.

  She rubbed the tattoo on her wrist, the world that usually gave her hope now taunting her with its vastness. So many places she wanted to see, and right now, she couldn’t decide where to start.

  After a few more minutes, she pulled out of the parking lot and drove the short distance to Heisler Park, one of her favorite sections of coastline in Laguna Beach. An escape from the reality her life had become the past ten years. The peace of the gardens and the ruggedness of the coastline calmed her.

  She climbed out of her car and drew in a deep breath of the salt-filled air swirling around her. Then she stepped into the park.

  For she didn’t know how long, she meandered along the paved paths weaving their way through the colorful flowers and plants of the park. Deep reds and purples and greens filled the landscape and cocooned her with their life. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to grab hold of the peace. When she reached the gazebo along the path, she stepped in. The solitude of the enclosure is exactly what she needed.

  She sat on one of the benches, leaned her head back, and closed her eyes. Images of Jake filled her mind. A tortured look had crossed his face when he broke up with her, telling her he was going back to Lindsay. She would have thought he’d have looked happier about getting everything he wanted out of life. She just thought that he would be getting that with her.

  A sob escaped and she slapped her hands over her mouth.

  She’d given her heart to Jake and he’d stomped on it. Maybe he’d never really gotten over Lindsay like he said he had. Maybe she had just been a distraction until Lindsay returned. But his expression on the day she met him told her a different story. He’d sought her out, after all. Confidence and gentleness oozed from his pores. He didn’t seem like a man pining after another woman.

  Every moment of their relationship, he’d been solely focused on her. Sure, he’d talked about his dreams for the future. His desire for a family. But she’d put him off, distracted him, so she didn’t have to tell him about her plans to travel. Maybe this was her fault after all. Maybe if she’d been honest with him, they could have worked through this together.

  And he wouldn’t be running back to Lindsay.

  “I thought I’d find you here.”

  Erin raised her head to find Abby standing in front of her, shielding her eyes from the sun.

  “Austin called me. He thought something might be up.”

  Erin motioned to the bench beside her. Abby sat down and wrapped her arm around Erin’s shoulder, triggering a new wave of grief. Abby just hugged her tighter and Erin cried tears she didn’t know she still had left in her.

  Eventually she sat up and swiped her fingers under her eyes.

  Abby gave her a sympathetic look. “What happened?”

  “Jake broke up with me.”

  A look of shock crossed Abby’s face. “What? You guys are so happy together.”

  “He said he’s going back to Lindsay.”

  Abby leapt from the bench and paced across the gazebo. “No way. She ripped his heart out and stomped on it before she left town.”

  Erin laughed through the tears streaming down her face. “Nice visual.”

  Abby sat back down. “It’s true. I don’t know what’s going on, but there is no way Jake is getting back together with Lindsay.”

  Erin appreciated her friend’s defense of the situation but Abby didn’t know what Erin had witnessed. “I saw them.”

  “Where?”

  “At Las Brisas last night. Dad and I went out to dinner.” Erin thought back. Just twenty-four hours ago, her life had been normal. She’d been happy. Since then, she found out about her father’s recovery and relationship with Gladys, saw Jake with his ex-girlfriend, and then had her life turned upside down when Jake broke up with her.

  “There has to be another explanation.” Before Erin could stop her, Abby had her phone out and Austin on the other end of a call. “Hey honey. Have you seen Jake today?”

  Abby listened, nodding a few times at whatever Austin said. “But not since then, huh?” Another quiet moment passed. “Okay, thanks, honey. I love you.”

  Abby clicked off and slid her cell phone into her purse. “Austin said Jake came in this morning to the office. But then obviously something happened, and he didn’t stay to talk. Austin thought something was up, and then when you didn’t come back after lunch, he called Jake.”

  Erin’s heart wrenched. Did she want to hear what Austin found out? As much as she hurt right now, if there was a chance for them, she’d grab onto it with both hands. “What did Jake say?”

  Abby lowered her eyes. “The same thing he said to you. That Lindsay wants to get back together. But Erin,” Abby reached her hand out and covered Erin’s. “Austin said something didn’t sound right with Jake. Maybe you should just give this a little time to shake out. See what’s going on. Maybe Jake’s just confused.”

  “Then why didn’t he just talk to me? We didn’t need to break up.”

  “I don’t know, honey. But who knows. Maybe this is for the best. You said you were worried about getting involved with him because of your plans to leave town.”

  “Yeah.” Erin had forgotten she’d discussed her dreams with Abby.

  “Did those plans change? I mean, when I’ve seen you and Jake together these past couple of weeks, you seemed so happy. You clicked, in a way that Jake and Lindsay never did. I figured you’d changed your mind about leaving.”

  “No, not really. Oh, Abby, I don’t know what I want anymore.” She rubbed the tattoo on her wrist, the constant reminder of her dreams of adventure mocking her. The one thing she thought she wanted may have ruined the most important thing she had.

  “Then maybe this is a good time to figure that out.” Abby stood and with a final hand on Erin’s shoulder, walked out of the gazebo, leaving Erin alone with her thoughts.

  Chapter Fifteen

  JAKE SPUN HIS glass, the amber-colored liquid swirling in circles. Around and around, again and again. Jake stared at it unfocused for he didn’t know how long. Eventually, he lifted the glass, tipped it back and poured the bitter liquid down his gullet. Harsh burning pierced his throat.

  He welcomed it. He didn’t want to feel good. He hurt for Erin. What he did to her. But it had to be done, if she was to have any chance at happiness.

  “Daggone it.” He slammed his hand on the table, rattling the bottle and glass. He’d hoped to gain relief from the drink, but instead, he felt as empty as he had since Erin ran away from him.

  Bella leapt from her bed in the corner and barked.

  “Sorry, girl.” Jake stared into her eyes, her mournful look matching the one he saw in the mirror when he walked in the house every night.

  She nodded her head then lowered herself back to the cushion.

  The past two weeks had been much of the same. Go to work. Come home. Stare at the walls. Barely sleep. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

  Jake glared at the splatters on the table. For the first time in his life, he didn’t care what his house looked like. He leaned his head back and let out an animal-like growl.

  “Whoa, I come in peace.” Austin walked in the back door, his hands raised in surrender.

  Jake turned his back. He couldn’t bear to see the sympathy in his friend’s eyes. Or worse… contempt. “I
don’t want company.”

  “Too bad.” Austin sat on a stool at the counter, crossed his arms, and said nothing.

  Jake stared at him. “What?”

  “I’ve left you alone for two weeks, but nothing has changed. You wanna tell me what happened?”

  “With what?”

  “With Erin.”

  He shook his head.

  “Too bad. Because you are both my friends. And both of you are hurting. Consider this an intervention. I don’t care what you want, we’re going to talk about this.” Austin glared at Jake and strode into the living room.

  Jake guessed he wasn’t getting rid of his friend anytime soon. His shoulders sagged. He just wanted to wallow in his own self-pity in peace. He certainly didn’t want to explain how he’d broken Erin’s heart for her own good.

  If everything went as he’d hoped, Erin was halfway around the world right now, exploring the ruins in Italy or the plunging cliffs of Greece. While he stayed behind with a broken heart. But it was all for a good cause.

  When it was clear Austin wasn’t going anywhere, Jake crossed into the living room and slumped onto the couch beside him. “She wanted to leave town. I just helped her along.”

  “What do you mean she wants to leave town?”

  Why was Austin surprised? He was her boss. He would have been the first to know when she turned in her resignation. Maybe she just hadn’t left yet. But her resignation letter made it clear that she intended to. “Really? I found her resignation letter.”

  “What resignation letter? She hasn’t resigned.”

  He didn’t understand this at all. The signed letter was in her desk. Ready to be turned in. She had been all set to start the rest of her life… and Jake had been the only thing standing in her way.

  He couldn’t sit still, hadn’t been able to calm his mind or his body in the past two weeks. He stalked to the stone fireplace where pictures of his family lined the hearth. A picture of him with Nicolle slung on his back, both of them laughing at something he had said. Jake in his cap and gown, his parents on either side of him and Nicolle looking up at him and smiling. A third with him and Ryan, cutting the ribbon on the first house they built together in Laguna Beach. This was his life, and his dreams of a family of his own were slipping away with each day that passed. “I saw it. In her desk.”

  “I don’t know what you saw, Jake. As far as I know, she’s not going anywhere. But she looks a lot like you do right now. And that’s why I’m confused.”

  “What don’t you understand?”

  “Erin told Abby you were getting back together with Lindsay.”

  “I’m not!” Jake threw his hands in the air. Why didn’t anyone else understand this situation? It was like he and Austin were talking in circles. But yelling at his friend wouldn’t solve this confusion. He didn’t want to be the man he was becoming. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”

  “I got it, man. But if you weren’t getting back with Lindsay, why would Erin think that?”

  “Because that’s what I told her.”

  Austin’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

  Jake threw a knowing look at his friend. He knew what was coming next. No one understood that he had done this for Erin. To set her free.

  “Why would you do that?”

  “So she would leave.”

  “I still don’t understand. Where is she going?”

  “She feels trapped here. All this time, having to take care of her family. She got her degree, her family is doing well, so she’s ready to head out on her own adventure.”

  Austin leaned back on the couch and his brows relaxed. “Okay. Let’s say that’s true. What does that have to do with you getting or not getting back together with Lindsay?”

  “Lindsay wanted me back.”

  “You don’t seem happy about that.”

  “I’m not. I don’t love Lindsay. I’m not getting back together with her.”

  “So then why aren’t you and Erin together?”

  Jake spun around. It was like he was talking in circles. “Let me make this simple. Erin needed to think I was getting back together with Lindsay so she wouldn’t feel obligated to stay here with me.”

  Austin’s eyes widened. “Ah, I get it now. You’re trying to play the white knight, doing the noble thing for Erin.”

  Jake raised his hands above his head. “Hallelujah. He’s seen the light.”

  “You’re an idiot.”

  Jake lowered his hands and looked to his friend. Surely he hadn’t heard Austin right. This was probably the first smart thing he’d done in his life.

  “You’re an idiot,” Austin repeated.

  Jake sank into the recliner in front of the fireplace. “Why do you say that?”

  “Why didn’t you just talk to Erin? Ask her how she feels. Tell her how you feel.”

  That was the crux of it. He’d planned on talking about a future with Erin after Lindsay came to town, but then he’d found her resignation letter and everything changed. He’d done this for Erin. “I didn’t want her to feel obligated to stay with me. I didn’t want to get five or ten years down the road and wonder if she regretted staying with me. I want her to pursue her dreams.”

  “You didn’t trust her enough to tell her how you feel and let her make an honest decision about her life? About your life? About your life together?”

  He scrubbed his hands up and down his face. “I guess I didn’t look at it that way.”

  “Like I said… You’re an idiot.”

  Austin was right. Jake had done what he thought was right for Erin but he didn’t actually know for sure that would make her happy. “I guess I am. But I don’t know what to do. How can I ask her to stay here with me, to build a life with me, when I’d always question if she’s looking to the horizon and hoping for something else?”

  “I guess you won’t know if you don’t talk to her, will you?”

  Austin stood and placed his hand on Jake’s shoulder. A look passed between them, then Austin stepped away and walked out the back door.

  Jake sank back into the chair and dropped his head into his hands. What had he done? And more importantly, what was he going to do to fix it?

  * * *

  Jake sat in his truck, parked along the curb several houses down from Erin’s house. He stared at the closed door, willing it to open. To catch just a glimpse of Erin. He had to see for himself that she hadn’t left. That she was okay.

  The front door opened and he slumped down in his seat. Erin walked straight to her car, her shoulders hunched, her gaze fixed on her feet. She climbed in and backed out of her driveway, never seeing Jake parked down the street.

  Why was she still here? And why didn’t she look happy? He’d given her the opportunity to reach out and grab everything she wanted out of life. She just had to take the chance. But she looked as unhappy as he’d ever seen her… and she was still here.

  Maybe he’d have a chance to fix this after all.

  Once she was far enough ahead of him, he pulled in behind her and followed at a safe distance. All he needed was a few minutes to plead his case. To convince her of his good intentions, if not his actions.

  She wove her way through the streets of town and turned into the public lot next to the beach. He stayed back until she climbed out of her car. Then he parked in the spot beside hers. This was perfect. They had shared many special moments together at the beach. Like him, she appreciated the quiet splendor of the water crashing on the sand, the sun sinking down beneath the ocean as day turned into night. And the bright colors of the sky as the sun rose over the cliffs and reflected bright on the water.

  As he watched from his truck, Erin walked down the steps to the beach. She yanked her shoes off when she reached the bottom, much like she had their first night together, and then walked for a minute before reaching an open spot. After spreading a blanket out on the sand, she sat down, her feet stretched out in front of her, her face tilted to the sun.

  Once she was se
ttled, he ran through his speech one last time in his mind. Groveling was the first order of business.

  His trip down the stairs didn’t take very long, not nearly long enough for him to calm his racing heart. Just the sight of her, relaxed and open, took his breath away.

  He strode down the beach, stopping just behind Erin’s blanket. “You’re in my sun.”

  “Is this seat taken?”

  She leaned her head back, squinting against the brightness. Her eyes flashed with recognition and her lips pressed into a line.

  Okay, so this was going to be harder than he expected.

  She turned back to the ocean, summarily dismissing him without even giving him a chance to apologize. “I came here to be alone.”

  Well that just wouldn’t do. He sat down beside her, propped up his feet and leaned his arms on his knees.

  She looked at him, opened her mouth then closed it again.

  The air crackled with tension between them, but that he could handle. Giving her a moment to adjust to his presence, he stared out at the ocean, the waves crashing on the hard-packed sand at the edge. Seagulls chirped as they glided and swooped around the water’s edge, filling the silence between them.

  Finally, she sucked in a breath. “What are you doing, Jake?”

  She swept at the hair blowing across her face. He clenched his hands into fists so he wouldn’t reach out and tuck it behind her ear. “I want to apologize.”

  She stared at him, her eyebrows raised.

  Okay. He had to dig a little deeper. She wasn’t going to make this easy for him. And she shouldn’t. He was an idiot, as Austin had so gracefully pointed out. Jake had always felt that the direct approach was best, so he went right for the bottom line. “I’m not getting back together with Lindsay.”

  Erin’s mouth fell open and he studied her expression as she processed his words. As the realization sank in, tears pooled in her eyes and she turned away from him.

  He hated that he’d done this to her. He moved to place his hand on her shoulder, to provide some amount of comfort, but he pulled back. He lost that right when he drove her away. But nothing was stopping him from apologizing.