Heart of Conviction: Nathan (Conviction Series Book 1)

by Aly Nichole

  “I’ll speak with you later, have a good day.” Gails shook Samson’s hand and left.

  I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath through my nose. I needed to call Red and inform her we were going to need a new doctor. Fuck, I might have to take over the clinic at this point. How can I add more to my plate when my plan was to offload shit so I had time for Sade, Hailey, and our little man?

  Samson walked toward me, and I knew he would want to talk about what had happened. I didn’t want to. Nothing would happen anyway. They always seemed concerned when someone was a racist dick. But they swept under the rug, and they would file it under ‘boys would be boys.’

  A loud beep indicated a doctor was being paged and stopped Samson in his tracks.

  “Code Blue, Dr. Valentine to the ER! Code Blue, Dr. Valentine to the ER!”

  Fuck, ER, was on the ground floor, and I was on the fourth. I calculated quickly in my head which way would be faster. If my name was being paged, it was a fucking disaster, and a pregnant woman was close to death, or the baby was.

  I slammed into the elevator and hit the button. Most of my colleagues thought rushing was a waste of time, but every fucking second counted to me.

  When the elevator reached the first floor, I flew out of the doors before they finished opening. The ER was in chaos.

  My eyes focused on the young woman who was heavily pregnant, screaming. I swiftly made my way to her. My heart stopped, and my blood turned cold. Fuck, this couldn’t be happening.

  I barked, “Status!”

  My ears were full of static noise. I barely caught the nurses yelling out stats and explanations. I tried hard not to think about why she was here and why the fuck she’s strapped to a gurney bleeding.

  My hands moved and checked her heart lungs. There were abrasions and lacerations all over her, and blood dripped out of her head. Fuck.

  “Nathan,” Sade sobbed.

  I sucked in a breath, fuck. “Hey, Angel, looks like you had a party without me.” My voice was soft.

  My hands kept working, the nurses listened to every word I yelled through the fog I found myself in.

  “We can’t find a heartbeat.” The head nurse murmured to me.

  Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. I nodded. “Page Dr. Stanley! I’m going to need him. Have OR two ready for me.”

  Sade was sobbing, “Nathan, my baby.”

  I pressed my forehead to hers, and I tucked away my fear. “I got you, okay. I won’t let anything happen to little man or you, Angel.”

  Her hiccups tore through me. I had a job to do, and I would not let them go. Not when I just got them in my life.

  “Nathan, promise, promise.”

  I kissed the slick forehead. The salt and metal tang was bitter on my lips. “I promise.”

  The nurses took her into the room, and I went to wash up. My body was numb. I felt myself going through the motions, but my mind was playing the worst case. I held the pink, still bundle in my arms—the cold, sterile room listening to Trisha’s last breath.

  I closed my eyes. Sade needed me. I made a fucking promise, and I was going to keep it.

  “Nurse, I need you to get a hold of Ira, Liam, and Mickey Valentine. Tell them I need them here ASAP. Got it!” I snapped. I hoped the young thing didn’t take offense to it, but I needed them here.

  Her eyes were enormous, “Of course, Dr. Valentine.”

  I looked through the plexiglass where the nurses and resident waited for me. The incubator was in the corner.

  “You got this. They found a thready heartbeat. If you can’t do this, say it now, and I’ll do it.” Matt’s thick voice was enough to get my ass in gears.

  “No one is fucking taking over. She’s mine.” I strolled into the room.

  Sade was still conscious. “Nathan.”

  I walked over and made sure her eyes locked onto mine. “Are you ready to meet our little guy?”

  She sobbed, nodding her head.

  “Let’s deliver this baby and get mom patched up,” I announced.

  They handed me the scalpel, and I made the U incision. My mind saw my body go through all the motions, but it didn’t feel real.

  My hands pulled our baby out. I held back the sob I wanted to release when I saw him. He was too small, and the color was off. I handed him off the RN and barked what I needed her to do while I finished up with Sade.

  I stitched her up, and my eyes glued to Matt while he worked on the baby. I was split between staying with Sade and getting her son to breathe. Fuck!

  “Nathan, why isn’t he crying.” Sade’s voice was frail. I looked down, tears streamed down her face, and blood was splattered in her hair and on her face.

  My eyes went over to the corner where Matt looked frazzled.

  “It’s okay, Sade. I’m going over there now.” I reassured her as my feet took me to where the little man was.

  Matt muttered orders as they were trying to get him to breathe.

  His little body was colorless and blue lips. A memory slammed through me as I took over.

  The nurses and Matt all talking at once. Without thought, I started working on him, and within minutes the most beautiful sound echoed in the room. He cried.

  A bubble of relief caught in my throat. He was going to be okay.

  “There you are.” I cooed.

  One of my colleagues was finishing Sade stitching her lacerations and checking her vitals.

  “I have her, Dr. Valentine. Do a check on the baby.”

  I nodded and set him down in the incubator, and directed the nurses out. If I wanted to keep my focus on him, I had to do it elsewhere.

  The nurses took over, and Matt followed them. He knew I needed to be alone.

  I walked and continued to walk until I was outside in an empty alleyway and fell to my knees, vomiting.

  I almost lost him. I could have lost him.

  I closed my eyes and sat back on my ass. The cold from the brick felt good on my back. I couldn’t stay out here long. I breathed in through my nose and let it out. Sade needed me, Hailey, oh fuck, Hailey.

  I ran back into the building and to the ER and prayed someone had her. But I never made it. In the waiting room was Red, and in her lap was Hailey. My knees buckled, and I snatched her out of Red’s lap.

  “Oh, thank God!”

  “I had her. The kids wanted a sleepover, and I thought it might do Sadie some good to relax.” Red explained to me.

  I felt a hand on my shoulder. I buried my face in Hailey’s hair, breathing her in. “Sade and the baby are okay.” I finally answered the unspoken question.

  I heard the collective sigh from my family.

  “Does anyone know what happened?” Ira asked.

  I stood up, hugging Hailey to me. “No, I just delivered the baby. It was an accident or something I haven’t had time to find out the details.”

  Ira nodded. “I’ll find out.”

  I handed Hailey back to Red. “I have to check on your little brother. I’ll send a nurse down when you can see him, okay?”

  There was a dull ache just behind my left eye, and no matter how much Advil I popped, it wasn’t going away. Everything was fucked.

  “Zac was driving when the car hit them from the side, sending it off the road where it rolled four times and hit a tree. They have not apprehended the driver of the other vehicle. The car was registered to Trey Benè, and there is a warrant out for his arrest.” Ira finished his summary of what he found out.

  Sade was resting. She woke up twice, and she got to meet her son. She had named him Ryland Jackson Mosey. When she told me the name, I held back my wince. I wanted that last name to be Valentine. Someday soon, I hoped one day they all would hold my name.

  My finger pressed to my temple. “The cops are coming soon to interview Sade. Could you be in there?” I wanted our cousin to do the interviewing, but he had a full caseload as it was.

  Fuck, I had to tell Sade her bother didn’t make it. I couldn’t get the image out of my head of James when he found me
. It was his first patient loss. He sought me out because his patient was Zac Mosey, and he needed to tell his next of kin, Sade. I told him I would do it, but that was over eight hours ago.

  Fucking mess.

  “Yeah, I’ll be there. Mom and the sisters are making up the baby room.” Ira informed me. He was staring at the wall, but his hand was on my shoulder.

  My body sagged in my chair. Little RJ had to stay in the NICU for at least a week before I felt comfortable for him to come home with us.

  “All right, I’m going to go check on Sade, I think the coppers will be here in a few hours, and I have to tell Sade her brother died.” Fucking Christ. I hated to be the one, but I knew it would be better coming from me.

  Ira nodded. “I need to make a few calls, and I’ll be up.”

  I knew it was a bad time for Ira, but I couldn’t help but be thankful for his help.

  Sade was sitting up in the bed, and little man was in a bassinet next to her. Her face was cleaned from all the blood, and her hair washed. Thank god. The only worrisome thing was the dark circles under her eyes and the cast her arm was in.

  “Hey, Angel.” I kissed the top of her head.

  “I haven’t been able to ask, but how’s Zac?” Sade’s voice was rough, and it hurt to listen to.

  I grabbed her drink and let her sip from the straw. How was I supposed to tell her? God, I had to inform her before the cops got here.

  I wiped my palm against my scrubs. “Angel—” My throat tightened, and my stomach churned. Fuck, spit it out. “He didn’t make it.”

  Zac was dead. He was dead. Dead, not coming back. There would be no apologies, nothing. I no longer had a brother.

  Nathan was out of his scrubs and sat in a chair next to my bed. I felt his thumb rubbing across my knuckles.

  The cops stood there, waiting. One was a young, dark-haired woman who was short and curvy. Her partner was a large man and not much taller than the woman.

  “Ms. Mosey, are you okay with answering some questions?”

  I looked over to Ira, who was in the corner and was laser-focused on the duo. He nodded to me.

  “Sure.” My voice was flat. There were so many things I wanted to do, see my brother, call my parents, and plan a funeral since I already knew Mom and Dad wouldn’t.

  “Can you tell us what happened before Mr. Benè hit your car?” The female cop’s voice was nasal, and I fought the urge to cover my ears.

  Zac’s face flashed in my mind. I saw his bright eyes and the lazy smile he wore. My brother was dead.

  I started from the beginning, explaining Trey forcing me to his apartment, and how Zac got us out. I went on and told them how my baby was Trey’s. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Nathan’s jaw tighten and twitch.

  The cops wrote every word. “And your brother, was he high at the time?”

  I turned my head and stared at the wall. Was he? I didn’t think he was? Would it have mattered?

  “What does that fucking matter?” Nathan’s angry voice interrupted my thoughts.

  Ira coughed. “Nate.”

  “No, even if he was, that fucking dickwad ran his car into Sade’s car on fucking purpose, killing her brother and nearly her son.” He spitted out.

  “Sir,” the cop sighed. “We have to ask these questions.”

  I grabbed Nathan’s hand and squeezed. “No sir, as far as I could tell, my brother was sober.”

  The guy cop grunted. “Thank you for your time. We’ll see ourselves out. If you have questions or anything to add, contact us.”

  They walked out, and Ira shut the door behind them.

  “What the hell was that question about?” Nathan asked his brother.

  Ira rubbed his temple. “It’s their job. They had to ask it considering Zac’s background.”

  My teeth ground together. “My brother saved me.”

  He saved me, and I couldn’t thank him. Why should I thank him, he was the reason all this happened?

  I felt the tears slide down my cheek. How could I be angry at a dead person? He was gone.

  Nathan kissed the back of my hand. “On a scale of one to ten, how much pain are you in?”

  “Ten,” I answered. It wasn’t physical pain, but everything hurt.

  Nathan’s gaze scanned over me, “You’re due for some pain meds. Would you like some?”

  Did I? A sharp pang from my arm answered my question. “Yeah, thank you.”

  My mind drifted off. I could hear Nathan and his brother speak in low tones. My eyes zoned out on my son. He had nearly white hair, and his skin was wrinkly.

  I needed him in my arms and to feed him. He’s my son, and I wanted to hold him, and I couldn’t because my arm was useless. I was useless. My brother had to save me, and before that, Nathan had to save me. I was nothing.

  My hand went to my chest. There was a weird pressure crusting my chest, and I wanted to scream.

  “Angel.” Nathan’s concerned voice forced me to look at him.

  “What’s happening to my brother? Have they notified my parents?” There was so much to do, and I was stuck in this bed with a broken arm.

  My breathing picked up, and I felt heat blaze through my veins, and the urge to scream came back.

  Nathan’s rough hand brushed my loose strands of hair from my face. “No one had figured out how to reach them. I wasn’t sure if you had their numbers. And he’s — he’s in the morgue currently.”

  It felt like someone punched me in the gut. A gust of air escaped me. “Oh.”

  “Did you want to see him?” His brows pinched in the middle. “I could arrange it.”

  The thought of my poor brother on a cold slab alone. Oh god.

  My mind wandered to my parents. I didn’t have my parent’s number anymore. Was it even the same? My mind was all over the place.

  “If you could please, and I don’t know my parent’s numbers.”

  “All right, Angel, I’ll take care of it,” Nathan assured me.

  “If you get my parent’s number, I’ll call them.” I needed to be the one to tell them.

  Nathan agreed and brushed his lips against mine.

  “Want me to help you hold, little man?” He murmured.

  My head bobbed up and down quickly. “Please,” I sobbed.

  Nathan grabbed pillows and stuffed them under my good arm to give me enough support and then scooped up Ryland. “Here you go, Angel.”

  I let out a half sob, half-laugh, when Ryland was finally placed in my arm.

  He was perfect, so perfect. I looked up to Nathan, and he looked at us like we were his entire world.

  “Thank you, I really needed to hold him.” I whimpered. I pressed my lips to my baby’s forehead and breathed him in. At least my son was okay.

  Nathan was doing rounds, but not before he gave me my parent’s number. He argued with me about being with me when I called. But I wanted to be alone.

  The phone felt heavy in my hand as I dialed. It rang twice before the familiar feminine voice answered.

  “Hello.”

  Her voice brought back so many memories. I sat quietly for a moment and realized not one memory her voice brought was a good one.

  “It’s Sadie, Mom.”

  The silence on the other end was deafening. I cleared my throat. “Mom?”

  “What do you want?” Her voice sent chills down my spine.

  Jesus, I blinked away the tears. “Is Dad around? I need to tell you both something.”

  She clucked her tongue and yelled for my father. “Okay, I have you on speaker. Now, what is it you want?”

  How was this woman, my mother? “Um,” I swallowed hard as my throat tightened. “We were in an accident, and um — Zac — Zac didn’t make it.” My words tumbled out, and my heart squeezed in my chest, and tears streamed down my face.

  My brother was gone.

  “I’m not understanding. Your brother is dead, is what you’re saying right now?” My mom’s shrill voice screeched through the phone.

  I p
ulled my phone away. I wiped the tears off my cheek before bringing my phone back to my face. “Yes.”

  “Thank you for informing us. I assume you’re expecting us to cover the costs?”

  I shook my head and choked out a laugh. “No, I don’t. I’ll figure it out. I wouldn’t want you to strain yourself to help your children or anything.” I slammed my finger on the hangup button.

  My fingers squeezed my phone, and I tapped it against my forehead. Did I really expect them to react any differently?

  “Ms. Mosey, I’m here to check on you. Dr. Valentine was with a patient, but he wanted to make sure you were doing okay.”

  My body jerked, and my heart raced against my chest, and my stomach dropped. The doctor stood in the doorway with his face reading off a tablet. His curly hair and bright eyes were familiar. Neither of which I thought I would ever see after the disaster day six years ago.

  “I’m fine,” I choked out.

  He shook his head and walked further into my room. “Dr. Valentine wouldn’t let me get away with that. I need to check you and your son completely if I don’t want to be strangled, and the mood he’s in, it won’t take much.”

  He finally looked up, and his eyes widened, and he stumbled back. “Oh, shit.”

  Was the universe punishing me because I thought I was happy? Was it because I found a good man that I fell in love with? What did I do that would cause all this shit to happen all at once?

  His hand rubbed the back of his neck, and he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.”

  I let out a shaky breath. “Nothing to be sorry about. You weren’t ready to be a dad, and you had school, and it’s not like we knew each other. You didn’t owe me anything.” God, now that he had my name and he could easily find me, would he try to get Hailey?

  His Adam’s apple bobbed, “Still, it takes two to tango, and I should have been helping you at the very least financially.”

  My head fell back onto my pillow. “It’s fine.” I wanted him to leave and forget he ever saw me.

  “I’m James Cornell. And if you want me to sign my rights over—” He stumbled over the last part of his sentence.

  I raised my brow. “I lost my brother and gave birth to a baby. I’m in no shape to have this conversation.”