by J. L. Beck
“I’m not scared of you, Hero.” Her voice is trembling, giving her away.
Now, I know exactly what I need to do.
I lean forward and whisper into her ear, “You should be...”
Chapter Twelve
Elyse
I bite my bottom lip and pray he can’t see through my very thin vale of lies. I’m so afraid, my body starts to shake. I want this with Hero, but not like this. I want the man who cherished me, promised never to never hurt me. I want him…
“Please don’t hurt me,” I whisper, wondering if he can even hear what I just said. I told him I wasn’t afraid of him, but I am—he’s thick, too thick, and I…
The pressure of his body against my backside is lifted, and I’m shocked when his booming voice enters my ears.
“Out. Get the fuck out now!” he roars, causing me to scamper across the bed. I chance a glance up at him and see the anger in his eyes, but it’s also mixed with something else. Sadness. Desire. Emotions I am quite familiar with by now.
It takes me a moment, but I swallow my fear down and crawl across the bed, reaching out for his length. It’s thick, and throbbing, and completely angry looking, just like its owner.
“What are you doing? You just told me not to hurt you and now you come before me on your damn knees, your tiny hands wrapped around my cock, practically begging me to fuck you.” His words are laced with no humor, but the wicked grin on his face confuses me.
“You won’t hurt me, Hero. You won’t. I know it deep down inside my heart.”
A hiss escapes his lips, and his eyes drift closed as I squeeze his member, moving up and down his length. My thumb scrapes over the velvety soft head, and I swear his body trembles.
“And why is that?” His hand wraps around the back of my neck and he massages the aching muscles.
“Because it’d kill you to hurt me. It would be like you hurting yourself.”
His movements halt, and he pulls away. His eyes are open now, shining brightly, the green in them drawing me in.
“You’re a good liar, but there are some things even you can’t hide.” I cup his cheek with my free hand as much as the brace allows and watch his eyes soften for a few seconds, proving I am exactly right.
The moment doesn’t last long, though. The mask he wears so proudly is carefully put back into place, covering the real man beneath. In an instant, he’s grabbing me by the arms below my wrists and pushing me back onto the bed, forcing me to lie flat.
I look up at him and see nothing but a mask of emotions.
He releases his hold on my arms and trails his hands down my body, coming to rest against the hem of my panties. With one hard tug, he rips them right off, causing me to gasp out in shock.
I’m just beginning to digest the fact that I had my panties ripped off when he drops to his knees before me, his head ducking in between my legs, his tongue slipping between my folds, giving me one hard lick.
“I’m going to give you the answers you seek, baby…and you’re going to give me this pretty virgin pussy.”
I can’t even form a thought, let alone speak a single word. Hero is being crude and cold, but he’s not hurting me...not really. Both of his hands are on my thighs, spreading me wide. I feel so exposed and at his mercy. His fingers dig into my flesh so harshly, it almost hurts.
His lips close around my clit, and the feelings that surge through me are like pure magic. When he starts to suck, the pleasure becomes borderline painful. My legs try to close automatically, as if they want to ease the build on their own, but his grip on me is forceful and unyielding.
I cry out in pleasure, the sensations overtaking my body like a storm.
My hands grip the sheets around me like they could offer me some kind of help, protection. He’d made me orgasm once before, but this feels different. This feeling is so much more intense, dark, and it scares me.
I can barely breathe as he works my clit relentlessly with brutal force. He’s owning me, showing me what he can do to me, and for a second, I fear I might break in half. My body wants to arch off the bed, but the iron grip he has on my legs won’t let me budge.
“Hero…” His name falls from my lips like a prayer. “Please,” I beg him, not knowing what I’m really begging for.
More? Less? I have no idea.
My brain seems to have checked out and my body now has a mind of its own. Every fiber is functioning on pure primal need, and I don’t think I ever want to return to sanity. I thrash back and forth, as if I’m trying to outrun the pleasure spiking through me.
I feel the build, my body cresting, as if I’m a surfer riding a wave. I’m close, so close—I’m just about to tip over the edge and come apart under his tongue when he pulls away, leaving me gasping for air and wanting more. “No…” I whimper, near tears.
“I can taste how much you want my cock,” he growls, moving up along my body.
If my whole begin wasn’t on fire already, I might have blushed at his crude words. The way his eyes burn into mine has me squirming beneath him. I feel intimidated by him, and maybe that’s just because of his huge size.
He leans over me, watching me intently, his fingers trailing over my belly, going lower and lower, until I feel two of his thick digits ghost against my soaked entrance. I consider begging him…for a release, for his touch.
He magically reads my mind and slips them deep inside me. The smirk he gives me sends tingles of pleasure down my spine, and when he finally starts moving his fingers, I feel as if I’m already ready to combust.
In. Out. In. Out. I can hear how wet I am, and it’s such an erotic sound. My chest heaves, and heat blooms deep in my belly when his fingers scissor. “Oh god…” I curl my fingers into the sheets.
“This is what you wanted, baby...isn’t it?” he whispers, nipping at my earlobe.
My pussy tightens around his fingers. I feel him stretching me, pushing my walls apart.
I quiver with need, my mind reeling. I’ve never felt such need before. I feel like Hero’s a drug and I’ve taken a hit for the first time.
When he adds a third finger, I nearly lose it. My body shakes, and my hips lift off the bed with the force of the orgasm as it rips through me.
A blinding light appears behind my eyes.
The pleasure ignites a spark inside me.
Withdrawing his fingers, I blink my eyes open and stare up at him as he moves above me.
This is it. I’m about to lose my virginity.
“Last chance, princess,” he coaxes. “Last chance to tell me to stop…” His mouth comes up to mine, touching my lips, just barely. His tongue darts out over my bottom lip, begging for entry into my mouth.
I open for him, letting him in. I taste myself on him, and it’s something I’ve never experienced before. “I want you,” the words come out breathlessly, but that doesn’t make them any less powerful.
The green in his eyes fades to the darkest green I’ve ever seen.
Using one of his knees to push my legs further apart, I wonder how this is going to work. With my legs open, a surge of panic shoots through me, and then I feel the soft tip of his dick probe my entrance.
“This is going to hurt before it starts feeling good.”
A part of me feels like he might be saying this so I’ll ask him to stop. He wants to scare me away, push me out the door, but just hearing his voice takes away some of the panic and fear. “I want you,” I repeat, even softer than before, my eyes bleeding into his. A moment of silence settles between us as he leans over me on his forearms, his toned stomach almost touching mine.
He’s chaos, and I’m just a girl falling helplessly in love.
“Just remember, you asked for this,” he grunts, his fists clenched into the sheets beside my head.
I go to say something, anything, but the words never come. Before I can even take my next breath, he’s pushing inside me, filling me with one hard thrust.
The pain is blinding, searing me to the bone. My hands fly up to grip h
is shoulders, my nails digging into his flesh as I cry out in pain. Feeling impossibly full, I try to breathe through the pain and adjust to his size. Tears spring from my eyes and slide down my cheeks.
Hero stills for a moment before he starts moving again in slow, deeply penetrating motions.
“Hero,” I whimper.
“Shhh…it’s okay.” His lips find mine once more in an all-consuming kiss. A kiss that tells me more than he ever could say out loud. He might have tried to scare me off with his words, but he can’t hide behind this kiss.
He bares his soul to me—and I give him mine in return.
With my mind occupied and my body wound tightly with need, the pain between my legs lessens, each stroke bringing more pleasure.
My hands roam free over Hero’s back, shoulders, and arms. I want to touch all of him, feel every inch of his body, map him out, memorize him. Moving on top of me, he snatches my healthy wrist and pins it next to my head.
He’s gentler with the other side, putting his arm across my elbow to keep my hand from touching him the way I want to. With me immobilized beneath him, he starts moving faster, more viciously. His hips thrust upward, driving into me over and over again, moving me against the sheets.
“You happy now?” Hero pants directly in my ear. “You happy I’m fucking you?” His voice is raw and full of emotion. “You like me deep inside you?”
“Yes…” I’m able to get out in between moans and the slaps of his flesh against mine.
Upon my words, Hero picks up speed, pounding into me over and over again. This time, he twists his hips, sending little rivulets of pleasure straight to my clit.
I can’t feel anything but the way he makes my body sing as he pushes me higher and higher. When I finally reach that mountain top, the orgasm hits me so hard, I see stars. I’ve never felt anything so intense. My entire body spasms and releases, waves of pleasure washing over me, leaving me stranded on a cloud floating into the sky.
But Hero doesn’t stop. He grunts and keeps pumping into me, dragging out the aftershock of the orgasm.
Suddenly, he sits up and pulls out of me, and I nearly cry out at the loss of him. I’m mesmerized as he takes his hard length into his fist and begins jerking himself off violently. Instantly, I’m reminded of the time I did it for him. My gaze trails up his perfectly sculpted body as I watch him intently through hooded eyes.
His own eyes are closed, nostrils flared, and a sheen of sweat covers his handsome face. His head falls back while his body jerks with a loud groan. Seconds later, his hot cum lands against my lower belly. And it feels like he is marking me, claiming me.
He keeps pumping himself until he empties every drop onto my skin. He stares down at it like he’s deep in thought for a moment, then he gets off the bed without making eye contact.
With my brain still flushed with endorphins and my bones having liquefied under my skin, I do the only thing I am able to right now: I lie here.
Hero disappears into the bathroom, and I hear the water running, then he reappears holding a washcloth. Stopping in front of the bed, he kneels between my legs and cleans me.
My entire body is sensitive, and I shiver at the contact of the scratchy wash cloth against my flesh. When he pulls it away, I see a smear of red. He doesn’t lift his gaze to mine. Instead, he gently wipes away his sticky release from my belly.
My stomach twists into knots as I realize I’ve done exactly what my parents never wanted me to do. I’d broken the most sacred rule in my family’s home.
Sex before marriage. And worse yet: without a condom.
I feel stupid and used.
“You’re going to be a little sore for a while. If I were you, I wouldn’t go around campus fucking any other guys right away. Give it a couple days or you might regret it.”
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. They’re menacing, cold, and don’t fit his caring actions.
“We didn’t use a condom,” I blurt out, and my cheeks heat when I see Hero’s gaze. There’s a smug look on his face. I’m not sure if he means it or is doing it to be an asshole.
I know he warned me before, but I thought maybe once we shared this, things would be different again. I thought this made him see we are right for each other. That I can be what he needs me to be.
“Yeah, I know. I pulled out,” he states, matter of fact.
“I’m not on birth control,” I announce, pushing up onto my elbows. Suddenly, what we’ve done hits me. I don’t know a lot about sex, like nothing at all, but I do know when you do it enough it makes babies.
Hero shrugs and starts walking away. “If you get pregnant, we’ll deal with it.”
I blink. What does he mean deal with it? Something snaps inside me. I’m not sure if it’s my emotions spiraling out of control or the sadness of it all, but I have to say something, anything. “How can you say that? Then act like this toward me, even more so since I know you’ve been watching me.”
This gets his attention. Turning, he looks at me over his shoulder.
“I know you still care about me, that’s why you’ve been watching me, isn’t it? You’ve missed me too, haven’t you?” I refuse to let him lie to me, not about this.
His eyebrows draw together in frustration. “What the hell are you talking about?”
I drop my gaze. “I feel your eyes on me when I’m walking across campus. I know you’ve been following me. You don’t have to hide it.”
Hero shakes his head in disbelief, a ragged exhale leaving his lips, “Elyse, I’ve been staying away from you. In fact, I’ve gone out of my way so I wouldn't run into you. I don’t miss you. I don’t care about you. You’re nothing to me—nothing but a tight hole to fuck.”
His words are so hateful, so mean, he might as well have punched me in the face. I would have much rather gotten punched in the face than listen to another degrading word fall from his lips.
“Maybe I’m crazy for believing you had a heart. I must have imagined it—imagined all of this. I guess you don’t really live up to your name, do you, Hero? I’m sorry for wasting your time.” Tears sting my eyes.
I thought this would change things—giving myself to him would make him want me more, but it’s apparent now that isn’t the case. Hero’s lost, and I don’t know if I’m willing to jump into darker waters to be with him.
I shove off the bed, ignoring the soreness between my legs, and concentrate on the pain in my chest instead. Gathering my pants off the floor, I pull them over my wobbly legs with shaking hands, surprising myself that I’m able to keep my balance.
My eyes burn with held back tears, but I refuse to give him the satisfaction and cry in front of him.
Out the corner of my eye, I can see him still standing in the same spot, watching me struggle to put my clothes back on. It kills me to know he’s still in there, hiding somewhere. I miss him. I miss him so much.
He startles me, his voice booming through the room. “Do you really think someone is watching you?”
“If it’s not you, who else could it possibly be? And even if someone else were following me, what do you care? You don’t give a fuck about me. I’m just another girl to fuck, right?” I mock him. Cussing seems like one of my lesser wrongdoings today. In fact, I may start doing it more.
With my bra in place, I pull on my shirt and start heading toward the door.
Hero steps in front of me so quickly, I run into his still bare chest. He grabs my elbows, steadying me.
I look up at him in surprise.
“You are staying here,” he orders, pushing me backwards, back to the bed where I just came from.
“W-What?”
“You heard me. You are staying here.” He deposits me back onto the bed and turns on his heels, walking toward the door. He had his boxers on now, but it doesn’t stop my eyes from dropping to his ass.
“What?” I repeat, much louder and more demanding than the first time.
“You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the couch. If you think someone is
watching you, it’s not safe for you out there on your own. Until we know what’s going on, you’ll stay here at least until I’m sure no one is trying to kill you.”
“Kill me?” I shriek.
Hero looks at me like he knows something I don’t, and that scares me. All of this does.
“Yes, kill you, as in dead, died, gone,” he draws out the words, making a different kind of shiver run down my spine.
And just like that, Hero’s mask slips out of place, and I feel like there might be a chance for us after all.
Chapter Thirteen
Hero
Looking down at the small frame of her shaking body evokes a whole new set of feelings inside me. I’ve been mean, carless, and hateful—all to protect her from my past, from the person I really am. But at what cost?
Her feelings, our future…
She continues to shake as I pick up the blanket and cradle her in my arms, whispering promises I know I can’t keep.
“You’ll always be safe with me and I’ll never hurt you again.”
What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
Everything I’ve done is to protect her, but how can I protect her if someone is after her? It could be a ploy I suppose, but Elyse is innocent, and she’d never be cunning enough to come up with something like that, especially if she thought it’s been me watching her.
“We need to get rid of her.” Damon’s words ring in my ear. That fucker. It has to be him. Who else could it be? I play the rest of his words back in my mind.
“Because if you don’t, I will. We can’t have any loose ends ever, not even her.” He basically told me he would come after her. I thought my fist to his face gave him a clear enough message, but apparently fucking not.
I tighten my hold on Elyse and press my nose into her golden-brown hair. Her scent calms me and warms me all over. I’ve missed her—so fucking much, it hurts. I don’t know how I’ve survived the last few days without her. My thoughts are a jumbled mess, but the only thing I can think about is how horrible I was to her tonight.