Ashes

by Erica Stevens

  The blood had stopped flowing; the gashes were already becoming smaller. The rate in which she was mending was stunning. He recalled the hospital when she said she healed fast, but this fast? She was not healing at his rate, for he could already feel the muscle reattaching itself to his bone; feel his skin rejoining once more. No, she did not heal at his rate, but it was at a rate that far exceeded anything she should be capable of. Even as a Hunter.

  Doubts blazed forth in his mind, little pieces of a puzzle suddenly scattered across a table before him. They were pieces that he didn’t understand, and couldn’t quite put together, but they worried him nonetheless. He could not make sense of what he was looking at, could not understand the mystery that was her, and he realized that it would take far more than him to make sense of this. He just didn’t know who to turn to for help with this puzzle.

  “Don’t worry about it, I heal fast remember,” she said softly.

  “I can see that,” he muttered, unable to tear his attention away from the now shallow wounds.

  Her finger was gentle under his chin as she lifted his face. “You need to feed.”

  His frown intensified in confusion. Then, ever so gently, her thumb brushed over his extended fangs, sending desire and want blasting through him. He trembled at her touch, fighting the urge for so much more. He hadn’t even known that his fangs had extended, he had been too caught up in his amazement of her to realize that his intense need was so very obvious. At her touch, hunger sprang forth in a burning wave that seared his veins.

  Recoiling from her touch, he moved out of her reach, knowing that he could not tempt himself anymore. He was rapidly spiraling out of control. Her hand fell away, but there was no hurt in her gaze, only deep worry. Chris jogged up to the car, their coats draped over his arm. “Go,” Cassie urged softly. “I’ll be fine, I’ve suffered through worse.”

  Her gentle reassurances, and the growing anguish in his body, made up his mind for him. He could not stay with her; if he did, he ran the risk of hurting her. She would be in good hands, and once she was home, she would be safe. Digging into his pocket, Devon pulled out his keys and tossed them to Chris. Fumbling with the coats, Chris managed to keep hold of them as he caught the keys.

  “Drive slow, I’ll follow you home.”

  Chris gaped at him, his mouth dropping as he looked at the keys, and then the car. “You ok?” he stammered.

  “Yes, just make sure that you take care of her.” They both knew that he was not talking about the car. He turned his attention back to Cassie. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”

  She managed a nod, but he saw the fear and anxiety in her gaze. Feeling like the worst kind of ass he gently shut the door, he didn’t trust himself to get close to her again. “I’m sorry about almost attacking you earlier.”

  Chris managed a wan smile. “I understand where you’re coming from, just don’t let it happen again.”

  Chris was trying to sound light but his voice was tight. Devon nodded, closing his eyes as another tremor of hunger ripped through him. Shaking, desperately thirsty, he took a step back. He watched as Chris pulled out of the parking lot with the only person that could completely satisfy the arid torture blazing through his veins.

  Turning, he fled into the woods, keeping pace with the car as it made its way down the side streets.

  CHAPTER 17

  “What happened?”

  Cassie dropped her coat tiredly on the banister. Dani had come barreling down the stairs; freezing three steps from the foyer as her mouth dropped and her eyes damn near bulged out of her head. “Where’s my grandma?” Cassie asked quietly.

  Dani blinked in surprise, her gaze darting rapidly between Cassie and the ruined dress she wore. “Her friend Martha called, they went to Bingo. She thought she would be home before you, but…” Dani’s eyes darted to the grandfather clock in the living room. “You’re far earlier than expected.”

  “Party kinda got crashed,” Chris mumbled.

  “I can see that,” Dani said softly, one eyebrow cocked questioningly.

  “Glad she’s not home.” The last thing Cassie wanted was for her grandma to see her like this. The retelling was going to be bad enough, but to actually see it would have made matters much worse.

  “What the hell happened?”

  “You got it, hell happened.” Chris shut and locked the door behind him.

  Dani’s gaze darted wildly over them, fear radiated from her. Cassie rolled her eyes at Chris, shaking her head slightly. There was no need to frighten Dani even more. Chris tried a sheepish, apologetic smile, but it failed miserably as his face did not seem to want to cooperate with his intentions.

  “Where’s Melissa?” she demanded sharply, her voice tight with panic.

  “Dropped her off already,” Cassie answered. Dani slumped, her relief palpable. “I need some ice cream, but first I need out of this dress. Chris, why don’t you make us some sundaes?”

  “Are you ok?” Dani demanded her focus locked on Cassie’s blood stained side.

  “I’ll be fine,” she assured her gently.

  Cassie padded slowly up the stairs, very aware of every ache and bruise as each movement intensified the pain. Though she was not looking forward to retelling the horrifying events of the night, she was grateful for the distraction that Dani offered. Otherwise, she would be consumed with her worry for Devon, and her fear of everything that had been revealed tonight.

  How many women were in his past? How many of them had he loved? And who was Annabelle?

  Cassie shuddered; her hands trembled as she pulled the zipper on her dress down. She didn’t want to think about those questions, it would only rattle her already shaken confidence more. Tossing her destroyed dress on top of her bed, she took a shower, washing the blood from her as she tried to scrub herself clean of the memories choking her. No matter how hard she scrubbed though, she could not clean away the events of the night.

  Tears burned the back of her throat once more, but she refused to shed them again. She hated the weakness she had allowed to slip through earlier with Devon. She was a big girl; she had been in life threatening situations before. She should be able to handle her reaction to them far better than she had today.

  Although, she’d never had an experience as bad as the one tonight. She really had thought her life was over, truly felt that she was experiencing the last few horrifying moments. And she had never been confronted with a beautiful, psychotic girlfriend from centuries past before. Cassie shuddered, scrubbing at her skin with renewed vigor.

  Though she tried not to think of Isla, it was all she could think about. How long had they been together? Had he loved her? She didn’t want to contemplate the things they had done together, but she couldn’t stop the images that flashed through her mind, the jealousy and fear that consumed her. She was nothing like Isla. That woman had experience; she knew what a man liked, what a man wanted. She knew what Devon liked. She had satisfied him with her body, and Cassie was certain, with her blood. She had satisfied him in ways that Cassie had not, and maybe never could. Revulsion swarmed through her, nearly threatening to drown her in its thick waves.

  Her certainty that she wanted to join Devon had been shaken, if not destroyed. His was a world that she didn’t understand, it was a world of cruelty and death and misery. One that she wasn’t certain she could belong to and she knew she could never truly fit into it. It was a world that very well might destroy her.

  Despite the hot water, Cassie was shivering and numb when she climbed out of the shower. She dressed slowly, feeling hollow and devastated. The night had started out with so much promise, it was all gone now. Like a log that had been burnt out, all of her hope had been turned to a pile of ash that was choking her from the inside out. And no matter how much she wanted to hope that things would be ok, that Devon would explain everything, she wasn’t sure that it would ever be right again. She wasn’t sure that they could ever be the same again.

  Ever so carefully, she cleane
d and bandaged her wounds with the ample medical supplies she kept under the sink. She was not at all surprised to find that though the gashes were still deep, the blood had stopped, and the healing process was well under way. She had always healed fast, ever since she was a little girl, and she had never been sick.

  She used to wonder about it until Luther walked into her life, now she just chocked it up to her Hunter capabilities. Even if Chris and Melissa did not heal quite as fast as her, they had never had a cold either. Once her wounds were bandaged, she fingered her cracked rib lightly, wincing as a sharp pain tore through her. Though she could not use disinfectant and bandages on it, it would heal just as swiftly as the gashes on her side.

  Slipping her favorite baggy sweatshirt on, Cassie wrapped her arms around herself as she made her way to the kitchen. Chris and Dani were already sitting at the counter, their spoons clicking against their bowls. Chris pushed a strawberry sundae with no whip cream and extra cherries toward her. Though she had asked for the sundae, she shook her head, her appetite gone. Her body was already a block of ice, she didn’t want to add more coldness to it.

  Making her way to the window, Cassie stared out at the dark night. She recalled when she had first met Devon, when she had sensed his presence out there, watching over her. That was before he had started coming to her room. That was when things had been simple and easy, when she had thought him human and had wanted to keep him protected. How foolish she had been. She could no more protect him then she could stop a charging elephant. Her protection was unnecessary, her strength nothing compared to his.

  Now as she searched the night, she felt nothing out there, no good or evil. It was simply an empty void that did nothing to ease the void inside of her. Even Chris’s house was silent; his mother apparently having passed out already, or retreated to bed with whatever man she had brought home tonight.

  Cassie turned swiftly away, focusing on Chris and Dani. “Did you tell her anything yet?”

  “No.” Chris pushed his bowl aside, but instead of reaching for hers as he normally would have, he leaned back in his chair. Apparently the events of the night had affected his appetite too. Folding his long legs before him, his eyes were sad and distant as he surveyed her. “I thought that you should be here.”

  Cassie nodded, leaning against the sink as she began to fill Dani in on the details of the night. When she could not continue on, Chris picked it up for her. Dani sat silently, her eyes growing wider, her half eaten sundae forgotten. When Chris finished, Cassie turned back to the window, once again searching the empty night.

  “So, now there are two?” Dani asked quietly, her voice hoarse with fear.

  “Yes.”

  “Is this Isla also an Elder? What can she do?”

  “We don’t know,” Chris answered. “We didn’t ask Devon yet.”

  “Piss me off,” Cassie mumbled, ignoring the twinge that pulled at her heart as hurt and jealousy reared their ugly heads once more.

  “How are you feeling?” Chris inquired, obviously eager to change the conversation.

  Cassie shrugged absently. “I’ll be fine.” She turned swiftly away from the window, unable to stand the silence of the night anymore. “I’m going to go to sleep,” she lied, knowing that there would be no sleep until Devon arrived, safe and sound. Knowing she would not sleep until he answered some of the many questions swirling rapidly through her mind.

  “Cassie.” Chris stood swiftly, his stool sliding out from under him. She turned slowly back to him, feeling like a wooden marionette. Chris stared silently back at her, his eyes troubled and sad. “I’m going to stay on the couch tonight.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up a hand, silencing her. “My mom will be fine for one night, she’s already home.”

  Cassie nodded slowly. She fled from the room before the tears that burned her eyes fell. She had already cried once tonight, she would not do so again. Racing up the stairs, she closed the door, leaning heavily against it as she tried to breathe evenly, as she struggled to keep control of her tumultuous emotions.

  Before she had met Devon she had never cried, she had never been emotional. But ever since he had walked into her life, she had been a basket case, unsettled and rattled. Devon had shaken her to the very core of her foundations, breaking through the walls that had kept her separated from her emotions, most humans, and pain.

  Only Chris and Melissa had known who and what she was, though they had never been able to truly reach her. Never been able to get her to truly live again, once the knowledge of what she was had completely shut her down. But Devon had changed all that. He had shattered her walls, torn into her heart, and ripped into her soul to bring her back to life.

  For the first time in years she had allowed herself to trust again, and she was terrified that that trust had been misplaced. Terrified that this wonderful reprieve she was experiencing with life, and hopes, and dreams, was ruined. She was terrified that she would become the lost, walking dead person she had been before. And she did not want to be that person again. She did not think she could survive the loss of everything again.

  Taking a deep breath, she pushed away from the door, determined to stay in control. There was no point in losing it now when she didn’t know the whole truth. It wouldn’t do either of them any good if she turned into a raving loony. Cassie paced restlessly, flipping the TV on in the hope that it would drown out her thoughts. It didn’t work.

  She watched the clock tick the minutes by with excruciating slowness, but still he didn’t come. At eleven she slumped onto the bed. Her nervous energy was no longer enough to keep her exhausted, wounded body moving. Drawing her legs up to her chest, she rested her chin on her knees as her thoughts turned even more troublesome.

  What if he didn’t come to her tonight? What if seeing Isla reminded him of what he was missing? Of what she could never be? What if he decided that Isla was what he truly wanted in a woman, and that she was just a dull comparison?

  Cassie bit down on her trembling bottom lip. She would not cry. She would not. He would come, she told herself. Though she tried to reassure herself of this, doubt kept rearing its ugly head. Isla had managed to plant a field of uncertainty in her.

  A subtle shifting of the shadows snapped her head around. A cry of delight rose up in her throat; it strangled and died before she could release it. Devon sat outside her window, his emerald eyes eerily bright in the light of the half moon. Cassie could only stare at him, unable to move as she was captured by the mesmerizing beauty of him. She wasn’t sure she was ready to hear the answers to her questions, and she certainly wasn’t ready for their relationship to end tonight, if that was what it came down to.

  Gathering the last dregs of her remaining strength, she forced herself up from the bed. Though the window was unlocked, she knew that he would not come in unless she let him in. She stopped at the window, her hands shaking, her heart pounding. Sliding the window up, she stepped slowly back to allow him access.

  He hesitated for a moment before slipping as silently as a wraith inside. Her breath hitched, her fingers itched, and it took all she had not to fling herself into his arms. He was the one that she sought out for comfort and protection. The one that she took solace in when she wanted to shut out the rest of the world. Now, he was the one that she wanted to shut out, or at least she wanted to shut his past out.

  There was a fierce hope in his eyes, such a ferocious need that she almost caved. She almost flung herself into his arms as she lost herself to the love, comfort, and shelter that he offered. But she could not do that. She could not continue to be an ostrich with her head stuck in the sand when it came to him.

  She had been avoiding his past for too long, and tonight it had nearly cost them all their lives. She could no longer plead ignorance, for to do so may very well be the death of one of them. No, no matter how much it hurt, and no matter how much she did not want to hear it, she was finally going to hear it. She was going to be strong again, not the weakling that she had become.
She was going to be strong, and she was going to learn everything she could about him. And it was going to be painful, she was certain of that.

  She opened her mouth and popped out the first question that came to mind. “Who is Annabelle?”

  CHAPTER 18

  Devon closed his eyes, his hands twitched at his sides. He had known that this was coming, that she would want answers, that one day she would wonder about his past. He had just hoped that it would be under better circumstances. He had just wished that it would not happen when she had that hurt, lost look in her lovely eyes.

  Pain and confusion radiated from her, beating at him with the force of a tsunami. He wanted nothing more than to take hold of her, pull her close, and ease the anguish that he had caused her. But he knew that she didn’t want his touch now, that she couldn’t handle it. He could not make the first move here; she would have to come to him. He just wasn’t sure if she would come to him when he was done.

  He was going to cause her more hurt before this night was over, and there was nothing he could do about it. He was going to kill Isla and Julian when he saw them again. He would make sure that they paid for wounding her in such a way. Her physical pain had been nothing compared to the emotional chaos radiating from her. Her physical wounds would heal; he was not sure the emotional ones would.

  Taking a deep breath, Devon slowly opened his eyes. He had fed well due to the toll that this night had put on him, but he was not sure it had been enough. This was going to be much more draining then the fight earlier. Her misty eyes held his, the startling violet in them standing out vividly to his heightened sense of sight.

  How did he tell her who Annabelle was without driving her further away? Without increasing the doubt and lack of self confidence that she radiated now? Taking a deep breath, he decided to just plunge in; putting it off any longer would only cause her anxiety to grow.