Every Sweet Regret (Orchid Valley Book 2)

by Lexi Ryan

  I turn my phone so she can see the screen. “He wants to talk.”

  Savvy frowns. “You have to tell him anyway, right? Eventually? So talk to him. Be there for him. He might not know this is you and you’re her, but you are the one he wants to talk to.” She screws up her face and shudders. “What a mess. Go be the one to listen.”

  I know I need to tell him. Putting it off has only made me dread doing it that much more. But then when I tried last night, he ended up finding out about Dean and Amy first, and then I almost let him fuck me against a window. Clearly, I have no self-control.

  ItsyBitsy123: Are you okay?

  GoodHands69: Not really. Remember how I told you I was seeing someone else? She dumped me, and while I didn’t really understand it at the time, some things have come to light that helped me understand. I’d do anything for another chance with her.

  My heart stutters, revving for a race I’m not sure I’m ready for. Does he know?

  ItsyBitsy123: Maybe she’s not who you think. Maybe it’s better that it’s ended now.

  GoodHands69: Actually, I know her pretty well. I’ve known her since we were kids, and I’ve always cared about her. But I fucked up. My divorce left me pretty insecure about relationships, and I thought all I wanted from her was sex, but it was always more than that. From the very first touch, it was more. In fact, I think that’s why I liked talking to you so much. Every message you sent me reminded me of her. I always heard your words in her voice and imagined her talking to me.

  And then I fell in love with her.

  He loves me? But he wouldn’t if he knew the truth.

  I drop my phone and put my face in my hands. “I can’t do this.”

  Savvy scoops up my phone, draws in a ragged breath, then strokes my hair. “Girly, I think you need to keep reading.”

  I take the phone back and reluctantly look at the screen. There’s a new message.

  GoodHands69: We all have secrets, and I used yours as an excuse to choose Stella. Which, as I’m sure you’re aware, is pretty damn ironic. Just so we’re clear: I don’t give a shit about the videos—though I’d like to get a crack at the guy who uploaded them. All I care about is the sexy, freckle-faced woman I love giving me another chance.

  GoodHands69: Come to the door so I can tell you to your face how I feel.

  I look up at Savvy. “I don’t understand. Does he know?”

  There’s a knock at the door, and I gasp and press the back of my hand to my mouth. Maybe he doesn’t mean that he knows. Maybe that’s not him. I’m too scared to hope.

  Savvy folds her arms, and the knock comes again. “Get the door, you fool.”

  I’m shaking. I’m surprised my legs carry me, and when I pull the door open, I’m so happy to see Kace on the other side that I nearly fall to the ground.

  He’s carrying a giant bouquet of yellow roses and a Who Framed Roger Rabbit DVD. “ItsyBitsy,” he says softly. “Always climbing, always getting knocked back down.”

  “I’m sorry.” My voice cracks. “I should’ve told you. I thought you knew, and then . . .”

  “I know,” he says. He presses the hand holding the DVD to his chest. “I know you have every right to send me away and shut me out of your life, but I’m asking you to listen to what I have to say. If you still want me to leave after that, I promise I won’t bother you again.”

  As if I’ve ever been able to resist giving Kace Matthews exactly what he wants. “I’m listening.”

  He pulls in a deep breath. “When you were seventeen and crawled into my bed, I wanted to touch you. You were so beautiful. And I wasn’t oblivious. I knew you were special. You always made me laugh. I never took myself quite so seriously when you were around, and if anyone needed that, it was me. But I wasn’t ready for what part of me already understood you deserved. I couldn’t give you one night because I already knew that when we got together, we’d need more than that.”

  He lifts a hand, arm extended, and I think he’s going to touch me. Then he drops it. “If you crawled into my bed now, I’d recognize it as the beginning of something. I’d kiss you because I’m dying to taste you again, but also because I’d see that kiss as something we could build on.”

  How can a hollow chest ache? I didn’t think there was anything left in there anymore, but his words are washing away the numbness.

  He takes a breath and lets it out. “When you visited after you started college and you teased and flirted with me?” He laughs. “Actually, some of your suggestions were more propositioning than flirting, and I wanted to take you up on your offers. So badly. But I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t understand that the way you made me feel lighter could be part of something real between us. And then there was Amy, and I’ll always be grateful for my marriage and my daughter. Amy taught me what I do and don’t want in a partner. And my daughter taught me the most beautiful things in our lives can indeed get better with time.”

  “Kace,” I whisper.

  “And then you were there again. And I should’ve been ready. You were more beautiful than ever, and despite being an idiot who believed all the lies he’d been told about what you’d done at Allegiance, I still knew you were special. But I wasn’t ready. I believed the only explanation for my divorce was a failure on my part, and I didn’t want to fail again. Watching Amy walk away was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I think I already knew it wouldn’t compare to the pain of losing you.”

  My internal organs feel like they’re rearranging themselves. My stomach is where my lungs should be, and my lungs are all twisted up with the shattered bits of my heart that have been festering low in my stomach. “Then why . . .?”

  “I’ve never been able to separate the physical from the emotional, and that was no different with you.” He shakes his head. His eyes are bloodshot, his cheeks pale. “I still wasn’t ready when I fell in love with you.”

  Actually hearing those words makes the floor fly out from under me, and I have to brace myself on the wall and bite back a sob.

  “I knew I wanted you and I thought about you all the time. I knew I’d make up excuses to be in the same room as you, but I wasn’t prepared for anything bigger than I’ve ever felt before. If Amy held a knife to my heart, what I feel for you is a grenade. It’s too big. You could destroy me. But I don’t even care if you pull the pin, because the alternative? Letting you walk away just because I’m scared?” He steps into the apartment, puts the flowers and DVD down on the table in the foyer, and stands before me, palms up. “It’s not even an option. And I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to get here, but Stella, I am ready for whatever you can offer me, whenever you can offer it. It doesn’t have to be today or next week, because I know I fucked up, but if you’ll give me another chance, I promise you I’ll do everything in my power to remind you how much I love you every single day. I’m ready whenever you are.”

  “Kace, those videos . . .”

  He brushes a stray curl from my face and tucks it behind my ear. “Someday, when she’s older, you’re going to be the perfect person to explain to my daughter why she shouldn’t let idiot boys have intimate pictures or videos of her.” He takes my hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing it hard. “I’m sorry I ever made you believe a mistake like that meant you weren’t worthy of me. I love you, Stella Elaine Jacob. Give me a chance.”

  “I love you too, but . . .”

  “But what?” he whispers, not angry, just . . . hopeful.

  Hot tears roll down my cheeks, and I want to throw myself into his arms, but I’m afraid he still doesn’t understand just how imperfect I am. “I’m a mess.”

  “Lucky for you, I’m pretty steady.”

  “I’m failing chemistry,” I blurt. “I’m probably not even going to get into nursing school.”

  He pulls me into his arms, and his mouth hovers over mine. “If I need a nurse, I’ll go to the hospital.” He smiles against my lips. “I want all of you. A relationship, not a fling. I want your promises and your smiles and your
vulnerable moments—not perfection.”

  “I want to give you all that,” I whisper.

  “No takebacks,” he says.

  I slide my hands into his hair and finally let myself kiss him.

  Epilogue

  Kace

  Two months later

  “Kace,” Abbi says, leaning into my arm, “I’m so glad you bought this place. I swear I want to live at your pool. I love it, and I love you, brother.”

  I blink down at my sister, taking in her expression in the moonlight. “Are you drunk?”

  “Totally drunk,” she says, nodding. “But you said I can crash in your guest room anytime, so it’s fine.”

  I look to Dean with my best Can you fucking believe this? face—because I don’t think I’ve ever seen my sister drunk—but he’s so busy grinning at said drunk girl that he doesn’t even notice me.

  Then my gaze snags on Stella, and I’m struck dumb by the sight of her in a black dress and heels that could qualify as deadly weapons. Her hair’s down around her shoulders and her lips are painted bright red, and my brain jumps to the memory of them wrapped around my cock last night and the sounds she made when she took me deep. Yeah, that’s never gonna get old.

  I swallow and take my time looking her over again. She sips a White Claw and watches me with that sexy little smirk on her face. The one that says, I think about you when I touch myself. Okay, maybe a smirk can’t say that, but that’s sure as fuck what I’d like to think is going through her head.

  “Would you two get a room?” Smithy says, his gaze bouncing back and forth between me and my beautiful girlfriend. “The eye-fucking is out of control.”

  “Jealous, Smithy?” Stella calls.

  “Damn straight I am. It’s not fair that you get that fine ass in bed with you every night, Stella.”

  Stella laughs, all lightness and smiles tonight.

  Smithy points at Dean and then Abbi. “Those two are just as bad.”

  “What?” Abbi squeaks.

  Jesus. Is that why Dean’s been acting so weird? It’s been like when he was seeing Amy all over again. Is he messing around with Abbi? And what a fucking hypocrite am I that if he is, my first instinct would be to tell him to back the fuck off?

  Taking a deep breath, I dig deep for a rational reaction. But I know Dean. He’s not about the long-term stuff. Well, with the exception of Amy, who wasn’t interested in giving it to him. He’s not a dick, but he’s not exactly boyfriend material, either. “Are you two . . . ?” I wave a finger back and forth between them. “Seriously?”

  Abbi’s eyes go wide. “No! Why would you—”

  Dean steps close to her and wraps his arm around her waist before dipping his head to whisper something in her ear. When he pulls back, he searches her face with a gaze more serious than I’ve seen on him in a long time.

  Abbi swallows, but she doesn’t take her gaze off Dean when she says, “There’s nothing happening here.”

  “The lady doth protest too much,” Smithy says. He offers his knuckles to Dean, who arches a brow and leaves him hanging.

  “Weirdos,” I mutter, letting my gaze slide back to the woman of the evening. Stella just got home from her first day back as lead receptionist at The Orchid, so naturally we had to gather and celebrate. Brinley practically kissed Stella’s feet when Stell asked for her job back. Then offered her a raise and begged her to never leave her post again. Apparently, my girl is fucking fabulous at her job. This doesn’t surprise me at all.

  Stella watches me with that boozy, relaxed half-smile on her face, and it suddenly occurs to me that if my drunk sister needs a place to sleep, we won’t get the house to ourselves tonight. At least Stella will still be in my bed—unlike the five other nights a week, when she insists on sleeping in her new apartment—but sometimes a guy needs to hear his woman moan.

  As Abbi and Dean turn the tables on Smithy, asking him about his love life, and Marston and Brinley snuggle together in a chaise, I walk across the patio and slide my hand through Stella’s. “Proud of you.”

  “Thanks.” Her teeth sink into her plump bottom lip. “You want me to grab you a drink?”

  “Not really. But we should go inside.”

  She arches a brow. “Why?”

  Grinning, I step forward until there’s little more than a wisp of air between us. I feel the shiver that runs through her as I lower my mouth to her ear. “You look good enough to eat, and I can’t do that here.”

  She barks out a laugh and shakes her head. “Let’s go, then.”

  So I lead her into the house, through the kitchen, and around the corner into the dark hallway, where I press her against the wall and show the woman I love just how good it can feel to give an idiot like me a second chance.

  THE END

  Thank you so much for joining me in Orchid Valley for Stella and Kace’s story. I hope you’ll return for Abbi’s story in my next release, Every Time I Fall. If you’d like to receive an email when I release their book, please sign up for my newsletter: lexiryan.com/signup

  I hope you enjoyed this book and will consider leaving a review. Thank you for reading. It’s an honor!

  Author’s Note

  Dear Reader:

  Non-consensual pornography or “revenge porn” is illegal in forty-six states and the District of Columbia. Many victims feel helpless or too embarrassed to do anything about their private pictures or videos being shared. However, if you’ve been a victim, please know you have rights, even in places that don’t have explicit laws against this horrible violation. For more information on your rights and the steps for getting the images or videos removed, please visit the Federal Trade Commission’s website.

  Other Books by Lexi Ryan

  Orchid Valley

  Every Little Promise (Brinley and Marston’s prequel)

  Every Little Piece of Me (Brinley and Marston’s story)

  Every Sweet Regret (Stella and Kace’s story, coming late 2020)

  Every Time I Fall (Abbi’s book, coming spring 2021!)

  More to be announced soon!

  The Boys of Jackson Harbor

  The Wrong Kind of Love (Ethan’s story)

  Straight Up Love (Jake’s story)

  Dirty, Reckless Love (Levi’s story)

  Wrapped in Love (Brayden’s story)

  Crazy for Your Love (Carter’s story)

  If It’s Only Love (Shay’s story)

  The Blackhawk Boys

  Spinning Out (Arrow’s story)

  Rushing In (Chris’s story)

  Going Under (Sebastian’s story)

  Falling Hard (Keegan’s story)

  In Too Deep (Mason’s story)

  LOVE UNBOUND: Four series, one small town, lots of happy endings

  Splintered Hearts (A Love Unbound Series)

  Unbreak Me (Maggie’s story)

  Stolen Wishes: A Wish I May Prequel Novella (Will and Cally’s prequel)

  Wish I May (Will and Cally’s novel)

  Or read them together in the omnibus edition, Splintered Hearts: The New Hope Trilogy

  Here and Now (A Love Unbound Series)

  Lost in Me (Hanna’s story begins)

  Fall to You (Hanna’s story continues)

  All for This (Hanna’s story concludes)

  Or read them together in the omnibus edition, Here and Now: The Complete Series

  Reckless and Real (A Love Unbound Series)

  Something Reckless (Liz and Sam’s story begins)

  Something Real (Liz and Sam’s story concludes)

  Or read them together in the omnibus edition, Reckless and Real: The Complete Series

  Mended Hearts (A Love Unbound Series)

  Playing with Fire (Nix’s story)

  Holding Her Close (Janelle and Cade’s story)

  OTHER TITLES

  Hot Contemporary Romance

  Text Appeal

  Accidental Sex Goddess

  Decadence Creek (Short and Sexy Romance)

  Just One Night
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br />   Just the Way You Are

  Acknowledgments

  I’m always so grateful to the village it takes to help me get from an idea to a finished book, but perhaps this time more than ever. I started writing Stella’s story the same week the COVID-19 lockdown began. The world was uncertain, everything was changing, and since my kids were out of school, I was never, ever alone. *insert maniacal laughter* Despite all the challenges, we made it to the finish line and I love this couple and their story so much.

  As always, to my family first. Brian, Jack, and Mary—thank you for believing in me and inspiring me to be my very best. To my mom and siblings—thank you for all of your support and for making me want to write big casts of characters forever.

  Thanks to all my writing friends who sprint with me and talk me off the ledge when the book looks like a disaster. To my hand-holding, hair-stroking, and pep-talking best bitches, Mira Lyn Kelly and Lisa Kuhne, my eternal gratitude to you and to unlimited texting plans. To the Goldbrickers and the ladies in my Slack group, thank you for helping me remember the power of consistency.

  To everyone who provided me feedback on this story along the way—Heather Carver, Samantha Leighton, Lisa Kuhne, Nancy Miller, and Janice Owen—you’re all awesome. I appreciate you all so much! Tina Allen, this book is for you because I think you’re awesome. Thanks for being a beta reader and a friend.

  I am so grateful for the best editorial team. Lauren Clarke and Rhonda Merwarth, thank you for the insightful line and content edits. You push me to be a better writer and make my stories the best they can be. Thanks to Arran McNicol at Editing720 for proofreading. I’ve worked hard to put together this team, and I’m proud of it!