Shattered: A Salvation Society Novel

by Bella Emy

  “Of course,” I answer. “I’m not going to bed any time soon. But I’ll leave my window cracked.”

  Kalen leans back into me and whispers, “Good. Because I’m not ready to say good night to you just yet.”

  I feel my heartbeat speed up, and my breath catch in my throat. Holy shit.

  Slowly, Kalen straightens back up just in time as Jason grabs Erin’s hand.

  “Okay, girl. I’ll text you before I come up,” she says. “It was nice meeting you, Kalen.”

  “You too, Erin. Maybe before school starts, we can all meet up and hang out for a bit.”

  Erin smiles. “Sounds good. See you guys around.”

  “Later, Lexi,” Jason says.

  I wave at them before they turn around and leave.

  I keep my eyes on them because I can feel the weight of Kalen’s stare on me, and I don’t think I’m brave enough to look at him.

  Because he’s beautiful.

  Because he’s starting to make me feel all types of giddy on the inside.

  Kalen turns his body and swings one leg over the bench so that he’s completely facing me. “Lexi…”

  I slowly turn my head in his direction, and when our eyes lock, I feel my heart stop beating.

  The way he looks right now. The way his green eyes are glimmering in the shadows of the night, with only the light from the moon illuminating them. The way his sly grin makes me want to do things to him I’ve never done to any other guy before.

  God, I only just met him tonight, but I’ve never felt such a strong attraction and pull to anyone else before.

  This is crazy.

  This is intense.

  This is a crush.

  Like, I can seriously say I’m catching feelings hard for this boy, this man. He’s just so perfect, but I know so many guys are when you first meet them. It’s just that something about him feels different.

  “Lexi…” he whispers again.

  “Yeah?”

  “May I walk you home?”

  Wait, what? I thought he wasn’t ready to say good night? Maybe I’m fooling myself. Of course, I’m attracted to him. But here I was, assuming he was attracted to me as well.

  But then what about his comments to me just now, about not wanting to end this night and not blaming Tommy for liking me, too?

  “Sure,” I respond, trying to hide the disappointment.

  If he did like me even just a little bit, wouldn’t he want to make this night last longer? I’d better take whatever I’m starting to feel for him and stash it to the side because obviously, I’m reading way too much into this.

  We rise from our seats on the bench and walk toward my house. For the first two minutes, nothing is said between us. We just walk in silence without exchanging a word, side by side, as if we’ve done this so many times before.

  Finally, he breaks the silence. “Are you excited about school starting?”

  “Yeah, I’m looking forward to this year. I really want to do well on the SATs and hopefully get into a good college. I’ve had my eyes set on Stanford for the longest time.”

  “Wow, that’s a very prestigious school. Good for you.”

  I shrug. “Thanks. My mom has been drilling it into my head since I’ve been a little girl, but I know why she did.” Sure, that’s the truth, but I wonder all the time if this is really my dream or more so hers. Before she started talking to me about Stanford, what did I want to do with my life? I don’t even remember anymore.

  I catch him nodding from my peripheral. “She wants nothing but the best for her little girl.”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” he asks.

  We stop at a corner and wait for the light to change to red before crossing.

  I face him as we wait to cross the street. “No, it’s just me. How about you?”

  He smiles. Can you say perfect? “Same… it’s just me as well.”

  The light changes color and we walk again. We’re now just a few short blocks from my house, but I really wish I could have more time with him.

  Wait, Lexi. What are you saying? What happened to stashing your feelings or whatever this is away? You can’t possibly fall for this guy.

  I honestly don’t even know why I thought for just the slightest second that I actually had a chance with him. He’s gorgeous. Literally, hot. Once he steps foot at Tranquility Creek High, the girls are going to eat him alive. They’re going to be like vultures feasting on carrion.

  “Well, this is me,” I say when we finally reach my house.

  We turn to face one another, standing at the entrance of my walkway.

  “This is you,” he smiles.

  I grin nervously, not knowing what else to add. He looks at me, searching my eyes for something, but I’m not sure what.

  “Hey, Lexi… I was wondering if I could see you again tomorrow night? Maybe hang out by the creek for a while, just the two of us?”

  Well, I wasn’t expecting that at all. I’m honestly confused. He wants to see me again tomorrow, but he was ready to say good night to me so suddenly tonight? Something is not adding up. Maybe he has other plans or something he needs to attend to tonight. Maybe he has to be up early for work tomorrow. I don’t know what to think. One minute it feels like he likes me, and the next, it doesn’t. But how can anyone like someone after just meeting them a few hours ago? If anything, he probably just thinks I’m pretty. It can’t be anything more.

  Because feeling anything else for someone so quickly would be unreasonable.

  Because feeling anything more for a person you just met would be impossible.

  As much as I want to say yes and see him again tomorrow, I can’t. I know me. I know how I am. I will probably end up falling for him, falling for him hard, just to wind up getting hurt in the end.

  And I don’t want a broken heart.

  I’ve never been in love before, but I’ve read enough romance novels and seen enough romance movies to know it’s not something I want to put my heart through. I don’t think I’d survive.

  But he’s so tempting though.

  The look in his green eyes…

  The way his lips move when he says my name…

  The sound of his voice…

  It’s all so captivating.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t tomorrow. It’s Sunday, and that’s typically family day.”

  Well, it’s not a total lie. Sundays were always spent with the family, my mom insisted on them since way back when. But honestly, lately everyone has been doing their own thing. Dad’s been nose deep in work, locked away in his office, while mom does her gardening or other things on her own. Lately it hasn’t been what it used to be.

  He smirks, and instantly, I know he knows I’m full of shit. Sort of.

  Something in his eyes tells me he’s not ready to throw in the towel, though.

  He brings a hand up behind his neck and massages it. Yeah, he’s definitely nervous and about to call me on my shit, I can feel it.

  “Okay. Not a problem. I totally understand family time. I’ll see you around, Lexi, and I’m looking forward to it.”

  He spins around, leaving me frozen, not knowing what to say, and strides away.

  And just before he’s too far away for me to hear, he turns around and adds, “But I’m not giving up, beautiful girl.”

  I’m stunned, shaken to the core. I watch him take slow steps and round the corner. Once he’s gone from sight, and I get my senses back, I shake my head and carefully sneak back inside.

  Chapter Seven

  “What the hell?” I sit up straight in bed as a loud boom wakes me from my slumber. My room is dark with only a sliver of moonlight coming in through the crack of the window. The sheer white curtains sway as a gentle late summer wind blows. I remember going to bed with the window purposely cracked so that Erin would be able to sneak in later.

  The sound of her laughter suddenly makes me realize what the noise that woke me up was. I turn my head to the left r
eading the time on my clock. Just past 2 a.m. I shake my head, flip on the switch to my nightlight, and look over the edge of the bed. There, on the middle of the floor, is my best friend covering her mouth, giggling.

  “Erin! Did you just get in?” I eye her as she struggles to stand. “Have you been drinking?”

  “Girl, no!” she announces, finally getting the hang of how her feet are supposed to work. She plops on my bed and leans all the way back with the biggest smile on her face.

  I giggle. “What is going on with you? I’m guessing you had a good night?”

  Erin spins around so that she’s now lying on her belly. “Oh, my God, Lexi! Jason is amazing! So much so that I even think my parents would like him.”

  I raise an eyebrow. Catherine and Jackson Cole, or as I call them, Mr. and Mrs. Cole, only want the best for their daughter, and I’m not sure if Jason would ever fit that description. But then again, I don’t know him all that well. I just know her parents would most likely want to scrutinize him and make sure his intentions with their daughter are good. But now I’m getting way ahead of myself. Erin has only had one night out with him.

  “You’re thinking that far in advance?” I ask.

  She nods. “If things continue going the way they seemed tonight, I’ll be ready to marry Jason in a few months… weeks, even.”

  “Wow, seriously?”

  She smirks at me. “Okay, obviously not marry, but he’s definitely someone I can see myself spending a lot of time with. Is it so hard to believe I may have found a good guy? Or that someone actually wants to hang out with me… other than you?”

  I want to chuckle at her statement but decide against it. This probably wouldn’t be a good time for jokes. She’s sending daggers my way.

  “Not at all, Erin. I’m happy for you. I just want to make sure you’re not jumping in the water with your eyes closed, that’s all. I’ve seen you hurt before over a guy, and I’d hate for it to happen again because of—”

  She abruptly cuts me off. “Well, it’s not, so you can just chill and be happy for me.”

  I hold out my hands. “Fair enough.”

  Erin sits up. “How was your evening?”

  Dare I tell her that Kalen asked to see me again? I don’t know if I should. If I tell her I told him no, she wouldn’t be too happy with me, I’m sure of it. “Good,” I reply instead.

  She nudges me in the arm. “Good? That’s it? You’re not going to tell me how it felt as Kalen kissed you goodnight on your front porch?” She closes her eyes and makes smooching sounds.

  I roll my eyes. “We didn’t kiss.”

  Her eyebrows hit her hairline. “Seriously? Not even a peck after the way he was looking at you and flirting with you tonight?”

  I fold my arms across my chest. “He was not.”

  She makes a face at me, telling me she’s not buying it. “Oh, yes, he was. I’ll bet he asked to see you again at the end of the night.”

  My eyes widen. “How do you know that?”

  Erin shrugs, giving me an all-knowing grin. “I can sense these things.”

  I throw her a smirk. “Yeah, sure.”

  She cracks up. Once she catches her breath, she says, “Jason may have mentioned Kalen wanted to see you again.”

  “How could he have possibly known that? We just met Kalen tonight…”

  “Well, Kalen might have mentioned something to Jason on our way to get ice cream.”

  “But he was walking with me—”

  “Except for the few minutes when he pulled Jason aside and I met up to walk with you…”

  Shit. Erin’s right. Kalen had been walking with me the whole way there except for a few minutes when she started walking with me. I had figured Kalen was tired of me. But then, I guess he wasn’t if he asked to see me again. Still, I don’t think I have any type of chance with him. I need to keep my distance so I don’t end up getting hurt. A guy like him starting at our school in a couple of days is going to be trouble. Every single girl is going to be on him like white on rice.

  “So? What did you say when he asked you out?” Erin asks, bringing me out of my thoughts.

  I shrug. “I said no.”

  She looks like she wants to kill me again. “No? You said no? What do you mean, you said no?”

  I shrug yet again. I’ll probably break my shoulders by the end of this night. “You know, as in the opposite of yes?”

  Erin rolls her eyes at me. “Dumbass, I know what no means. I wanna know why you said no. He seemed super nice and totally into you. Do you not like him?”

  I look down at the floor, and then moments later, back at her. “I think he’s cute and sweet, and a great guy…”

  “But…”

  “But, I know I don’t stand a chance with him.”

  She furrows her brows again. “Why not? What makes you say that? You’re an awesome chick. You’re pretty and smart and funny. And you’re my best friend, and any guy who thinks otherwise does not deserve you. But Kalen seems genuine enough. What gives?”

  I let out a deep sigh. Of course I know she feels that way about me, and I feel the same about her. But doesn’t she realize what’s going to happen come Wednesday when school starts?

  “I just think he’s going to quickly become super popular once he starts at Tranquility Creek High and then realizes I’m nothing or anyone special.” I frown only for a second before realizing it and wiping it off my face. I don’t want Erin to think I’m upset over this, even if it does suck just a little. Kalen really is a great guy. But still, I have to stay away before I catch feelings for a guy I can never have. He’s totally out of my league.

  “Lexi, you’re being silly and overthinking shit again, as usual. Can’t you just accept the fact that he may really like you and just wants to spend time with you? You can’t always live in the ‘what if’ wondering if his feelings are going to change once the skanks at TCHS are going to attack him.”

  I can’t continue this conversation with her tonight. It’s going to drive me absolutely crazy because even though she may be right, there’s the chance she’s not, and I don’t want to be up all night thinking about this.

  “Maybe. But can we get some sleep now?”

  Erin snaps her head to where my clock is on my nightstand. “But it’s only two-thirty in the morning.”

  I shake my head and roll my eyes. “Only?”

  “The night is young…”

  I giggle. “Oh, Erin. You’re crazy.”

  She smiles. “And that’s why you love me.” She gets up off my bed and goes to grab her pajamas from out of her bag. “I’ll be right back. Going to use the bathroom, brush my teeth, and change.”

  “Okay.”

  She exits my room and closes the door behind her. Taking a deep breath, I turn off the light, lie back down, and look up at my ceiling. It’s going to be an interesting couple of days, that’s for sure.

  Chapter Eight

  “Girls, look at this! This will look so cute on you,” Mrs. Cole exclaims. I’m currently at Tranquility Creek Mall with Erin, her younger sister, Kennedy, and their mother. It’s Labor Day, and we’re catching some great sales.

  We all turn our heads to look at what Mrs. Cole has picked out. Kennedy rolls her eyes, grimaces, and turns away. She places an AirPod into one of her ears and tunes the world out. She’s more interested in her music than shopping.

  “That is cute!” Erin answers as she reaches her mother’s side, pulling the black top from Mrs. Cole’s grasp. She places it against her chest and turns to and fro in front of the mirror.

  I nod. “Yeah, it looks great.”

  Erin spins around and gasps. “Lexi, look!” She walks over to the rack where her mom had pulled the black top from, and to the right of the rest of them, she pulls out a pink one. “They have the same shirt in pink! We could go with the same shirt, just in different colors, on the first day of school! What do you think?”

  I tilt my head to the side, examining the top. It is cute. A hot pink hea
rt was dab smack in the middle of her black one, while a black heart sat in the middle of the pink one. It’s a cute idea.

  “I guess we could do that…”

  Erin smiles from ear to ear. “Yes! Please! Let’s do it!”

  Mrs. Cole giggles, pulling out a white blouse more her style from a different rack. “It would be fun. My best friends and I used to plan our outfits sometimes when we were back in school.”

  I smile back at Erin, who’s currently giving me puppy dog eyes. “Okay, okay. Let’s do it.”

  “Yes!”

  I want to laugh at how excited she is right now.

  Once we’re all finished, we bring our merchandise to the register and pay for our items. I love back to school shopping.

  We leave the mall around ten past three in the afternoon and load the car up with all our shopping bags. Erin and I sit in the back while Kennedy sits in the passenger seat. Usually her younger sister would be sitting in the back, but since I came along for the trip, my best friend is sitting next to me.

  “So, now what should we do?” Mrs. Cole asks as she banks a left.

  “Can we head home? I want to try on some of the jeans we bought so that Lexi and I can really have our back to school outfit planned,” Erin answers.

  Kennedy snaps her head around to look over at her sister. “Seriously, out of all things we could be doing, that’s what you want to do? We just left the mall, and you want to retry on clothes? Ugh!” She turns back around and faces her mother. “Mom, can we please go grab something to eat. I’m hungry.”

  “You could’ve grabbed something at the food court,” Erin replies.

  Kennedy spins back around. “Eww. That stuff is nasty.”

  Mrs. Cole stops the car at a red light. “I was thinking we could have Dad throw some meat on the grill. It is Labor Day after all. Maybe we can take a dip in the pool? What do you girls say?” She looks back at Erin and me, and both of us nod at the same time. Then she turns her gaze at Kennedy.

  Kennedy scoffs. “Ugh! Fine!” She’s less than pleased, looking at her mother with disdain.