Tall Dark Heart

by Chris Krupa

  Richard turned on the lights and sirens. “Another useful piece of advice. Turn on the blinkers and horns when you need to get home on time for supper.” Payden smiled. “I know this couple. The old lady’s okay. She’s a doper. Her old man’s a woman-beating piece of shit. I’d take his ass down a back alley, blow his fucking brains out and write it up as self-defence, but his woman loves him, so keep an eye on her while I take care of him. Because she’ll start swinging if I lay a finger on him, no matter how bad he’s fucked her up this time. Their relationship is beyond me.” Richard paused. “You can still hold tight, kid. No need to get your hands dirty today. You’ve got your whole career to swim in the sewer.”

  Payden shook his head and replied as Richard turned to look at him. “I’m ready.”

  Richard nodded. Still a glimmer of light in his eyes as they made time. “His name is Anthony. Call him Tony. I have him. Her name is Sabrina. Call her ‘ma’am’. If you call her by her name, the situation will escalate.”

  “Why?”

  “He’ll assume you’re fucking her. They both smell like backed up toilets. I don’t think you could get it up for her if you’d been cut off for years, but he’ll think you’re doing her.”

  “Do we do a drug sweep?” Payden pulled out his notepad and Richard patted his hand, pushing it down. “No?”

  “No,” Richard said as they pulled up to the residence. Another shack covered in flaking paint. Red and green. “It’s not our responsibility. We’re here on a domestic. Narcotics wasn’t called in.” He looked at Payden and bobbed his eyebrows. “If you want to do the narcs’ job for them, that’s up to you. They’ll fight you for credit, though. They’ll win. And you’ll still end up writing the scene report.”

  Payden nodded. “No need.”

  “That’s my boy,” Richard said as he undid his seatbelt and they exited the vehicle. “Be ready for anything. Who do you have?”

  “Sabrina.” Richard gave him a sideways glance. “Ma’am, I mean.”

  Richard nodded, took a deep breath and pounded on the door. Strangely, though the walls of the house were coming apart, no sound was audible outside. “Last piece of advice for now. We don’t ever call each other by name unless the subject already knows us. Start simple. Officer. First name. Last name. If they insist, badge number. Never offer information without being asked.”

  “Yes sir, officer. Understood. Thank you, sir.”

  “Tony,” Richard yelled through the door. “It’s Dick.” Hearing nothing, he whispered to Payden. “Go around back. Watch that door. I’ll call for you.” Payden nodded and moved to the back of the house. “Open up. Let’s make this problem go away.” He paused. “I’ll give you to ten to indicate you understand me or open the door. Then I’m coming in.”

  Richard wiggled the front door’s knob lightly. Feeling it turn too far as the door creaked open.

  “Stay out, Dick,” Anthony yelled and Richard moved to the side of the door. “This is between me and my woman.”

  “An incident was reported,” Richard shouted. “I have to make sure everything’s okay. I’m going to come in and we’ll—”

  Richard dropped to his knees and covered his head as a hole appeared in the front door and a second-storey window in an abandoned house across the street shattered. A deafening blast followed.

  As he shook his head, he heard another voice. Payden’s. “Put the weapon down. No, ma’am. I can’t leave until Tony puts down his gun.”

  Richard bashed the door open, still standing to the side. “Everything secure, officer?”

  “Everything secure, officer,” Payden replied and Richard stormed in through the front door.

  Anthony stood, pointing a revolver at his girlfriend’s head. Shaking his own as she sat on the floor.

  “Call your boy off, Dick,” Anthony said.

  Richard glanced at Sabrina. She, like Anthony, was looking rough. Probably beautiful before the dope became her god. Her body and face were various shades of red, green, purple and yellow. Another domestic call arriving a few days too late to nip in the bud.

  “You little piece of shit. Shoot at me?” Richard walked up to Anthony and raised his service pistol. Placing it against Anthony’s temple and cocking it. “Put your gun down or I’ll beat you half to fucking death if I decide not to kill you.” He glanced at Sabrina. Payden stood near the back door, shaking, and Richard motioned for him to move in closer.

  “Why are you fucking with me, man?” Tony asked, scratching his side. Digging into it with his nails. “Let me handle my woman and fuck off with your new puppy.”

  “I can’t, you stupid fuck,” Richard said. Calming down. “You squeeze that trigger, a slug’s going through your head and that will be the story of you, Tony.”

  Payden moved toward Sabrina. Partially to make sure he could provide cover if Anthony fired and partially because, if Richard was serious, the trajectory of the bullet he’d put through Anthony’s brain would go clean through and hit him if he stayed put.

  Payden stood to the side of Sabrina and pointed his pistol at Anthony. “Do as the officer says, Tony.”

  Anthony’s eyeballs began to float and his gun hand drifted. Hearing Payden’s pistol cock, Anthony snapped back to and looked at Richard, who nodded.

  “Okay,” Anthony said, looking and feeling as scared as he was, with a little withdrawal heaped on. “Relax. Fuck.”

  Richard held out his hand and Anthony gave him his revolver. “There you go.” Payden sighed in relief and Richard punched Anthony in the face. “Now we can talk.”

  “Talk,” Anthony said, rubbing his jaw. “About what? The fucking weather? Then what?”

  Richard hit Anthony hard in the temple with the butt of his pistol before he holstered it and pulled the handcuffs from his duty belt. “Then we talk about why I don’t put you down for trying to kill me.”

  “What the fuck?” Anthony squirmed as Richard put the cuffs on too tight. “The gun just went off.”

  Sabrina was up on her feet before Anthony finished speaking. “Come on, Dick.”

  “You finally going to suck my knob, ditch-mouth?” Richard asked Sabrina. “Call was made. I have to make an arrest. You don’t like it, there’s two ways to keep this from happening in the future. One. Tony, stop beating the living shit out of your old lady. Two, tape her mouth shut and beat her more quietly. These calls don’t come in because no one can hear you.” Anthony let out a squeal as Richard pulled up on the cuffs.

  Payden looked away and to the side, playing off his shocked expression.

  Before he could turn his head to look at Sabrina, she was on Richard. Pulling at his hair and smacking him as he threw Anthony to the floor and rested his knee in his back. “A little help?” Richard asked.

  Payden grabbed Sabrina as she continued to kick and swing. Her mouth working overtime as she waffled between threatening to kill Anthony if he ever touched her again and promising to kill Richard if he didn’t let Anthony go.

  Payden wrestled Sabrina to the floor, her night-dress tearing in the process.

  Anthony wriggled on the floor underneath Richard’s weight. “You fucking pigs. Did you come here to stick it in my woman? I’m going to kill you. You and your little—”

  “Shut your fucking mouth or I’m going to order my partner to give it to your woman up the ass. I don’t want to do that. Who knows what he’ll catch.” Richard bounced Anthony’s head off the floor and he quit talking to spit the blood out of his mouth. “Time to go.”

  “Please don’t take him away,” Sabrina begged, looking up at Payden, who held her firmly by the shoulders. Smacking her hands away as she offered up sexual favours in return for favourable treatment of her boyfriend, intermingled with increasingly bizarre threats against his life.

  Anthony came in on cue. “What’s your dog’s name, Dick? Where does he live?” Anthony looked into Payden’s eyes. “You just fucked up, bitch. I’m going to—”

  Richard muffled Anthony’s mouth with his hands.
“Officer, just let her suck your cock already.” He paused, giving Anthony a smack. “You calm down and we’ll do things the way we always do. Yeah?”

  Anthony accepted Richard’s offer with a nod and a grunt. Followed by, “I’m sorry, Dick’s partner. I didn’t mean none of that. I just get—”

  Richard shut Anthony’s mouth with a blistering crack across the face, followed by a solid grip around his neck. No more words.

  After placing Anthony in the back of the police cruiser, they asked Sabrina to come along for the ride. Doing her that small favour so she could not press charges more quickly.

  Richard made sure Anthony and Sabrina understood that if they lodged any complaints about the way they were handled, they’d better hope he never got called to their residence again. A finger across the neck and a wide smile into the rearview mirror sealed the deal.

  After they finished processing the couple, Payden sat down at his desk to do the paperwork.

  Richard stood around, watching the clock and, at exactly five, he patted Payden on the back. “Enjoy your first real day?”

  Payden looked up at him from his desk. “Yeah, Dick. It was swell.” Richard chuckled. “One question.”

  “What is it, kid?”

  “How do I handle the details in this report? Can I leave some out?” Payden’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Among other things, what about Tony’s gun? I think we left it there.”

  Richard looked around the room, making sure everyone was minding their own business. “First of all, don’t ask me if it’s okay to bend the rules. I can’t answer that honestly here. But, yeah, leave stuff out. Especially the gun. We didn’t leave it and he’ll never get it back. Next week, I’ll teach you why having someone else’s gun is a get-out-of-gaol-free card. Good enough?” He patted Payden on the back. “Remember, you’re not writing a fucking book. It’s simple. What was the situation when we arrived? What did we do to diffuse the tension and control the scene? What did we charge them with? Etcetera. Just keep the language professional. And as vague as possible. Like usual.”

  Payden nodded, smiled and got back to typing. “You’re the boss, sir.”

  “Did I forget to tell you to knock it off with the ‘sir’ shit?” Richard smiled and began to walk away. Then he stopped and turned around, facing Payden and watching him type like a chimp on crystal. “Listen, kid,” he said as he walked back to Payden’s desk.

  Payden looked up. “Yes, sir—Dick.”

  “You handled yourself well out there. Kept your cool. Did the job.” Richard looked around the station as he sucked in his gut. “When you get done double-checking your report, you could drop by my house. Meet the little woman and eat a decent meal.”

  Payden looked at Richard quizzically. “Sure,” he said, stuttering. “If it’s all right with your wife.”

  Richard batted him on the back of the head softly. Jotting down his address on one of Payden’s notepads. “Be there at seven tonight. Don’t worry about the little lady.”

  “Yeah, thank you, sir,” Payden began, noticing Richard giving him a hard glance. “I mean, thanks, Dick.”

  “Don’t mention it,” Richard replied. “You’re a good kid. You’ll go far if you listen and learn like today. The job can be fun if you let it. And I’ll teach you how to earn.” Richard pointed at the notepad. “See you there. And her name’s Ana. Pronounced Awna. She’ll be charmed out of her socks if you pronounce her name correctly.”

  Payden didn’t have time to respond before Richard was out the front doors.

  Payden got back to work as Bryan walked up and extended his hand. Payden took it and shook it as Bryan pulled up a chair and sat. He didn’t ask if it was okay. Not because he didn’t care—though his face would never show you if he did—but because, once he got used to you, he knew how you’d react to him in almost any situation. Though Payden still hadn’t figured out how, he was never wrong. “You’re having supper tonight with your FTO?”

  “Yeah.” Payden continued typing. Trying not to look annoyed. “It’s not like I could say no.”

  Bryan glanced around the station. “No way I’d go there. Not with the spitfire I just started working on.”

  Payden chuckled as he kept his eyes on his work. “Please don’t tell me you’re trawling the distress calls.”

  “Not that.” Bryan paused. “Just, this girl. Mindy. She’s the jealous type. Hard to get, that’s for sure.”

  “What’s your soon-to-be-woman’s story? She doesn’t like competition? Not even the whiff of it? Have I met her?”

  Bryan leant in toward Payden and whispered. “No. I’ve been keeping her to myself. But have you seen Richard’s woman? Heard she’s a Cuban-Israeli mix. Whatever kind of half-breed she is, her parents must be uglier than shit, because she’s supposed to be gorgeous. Better looking than her pictures. And my girl wouldn’t be okay with me spending time with her, with or without her husband.”

  “How about that, Verrill,” Payden replied, finishing his paperwork and pulling the triple-carbon sheet out of his typewriter. “You and that spitfire you like—Mindy?—took the next step. She’s your girl now. Congratulations.”

  Verrill smirked. “Fuck you, Beck. Just be careful around Richard’s woman. Mind what manners you have. I’m just saying. She’s young, hot and married to a much older man. You never know, she could be trouble. Take you to heaven and then hold it over your head.”

  Payden stood up. “And before you poison my mind, and my evening, further, I bid you a good day, Officer Verrill.”

  “Just Bryan, all right?”

  Payden nodded.

  “See you next week if you make it out of LaMont’s house alive.”

  Payden thanked Bryan and they bumped fists to say goodnight. Though Bryan wouldn’t shut up about it, Payden assured him that, even though he agreed Richard’s wife was a stunning woman, he’d somehow manage to keep his dick in his pants that evening.

  —-End of Special Sneak Preview—-

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