Finding Hope at the Loch (Loch Lannick Book 7)

by Hannah Ellis

  Lexie had thought about that too. At the moment she paid Nick rent, but that would be a bit strange when they were married.

  “How would you like to share my mortgage?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

  She squeezed his fingers as they stopped outside the pub. Mary and Wesley had already gone inside. “That sounds very grown up. This marriage thing is starting to feel real.”

  “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”

  She shook her head firmly. “No chance.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  When Lexie arrived for her shift at the pub on Thursday, Leana was just finishing a day shift.

  “Are you hanging around for a while?” Lexie asked, when Leana took a seat on a bar stool.

  “Yeah. Elspeth’s coming up for a drink.”

  “I haven’t seen her in here in ages,” Lexie remarked. It was the first time she’d really noticed it, but Elspeth hadn’t been in the pub much over the last few weeks. At least not when Lexie was working.

  “She’s busy with this cake decorating stuff. Doing an online course in the evenings. She’s very stressed about Isla’s wedding cake.”

  “So she is making it?” Lexie moved to empty the tray under the beer tap.

  “Yeah.” Leana pulled her phone out. “She sent me photos of the practice cake she did.”

  “That looks great,” Lexie said, as Leana swiped through the photos to show her.

  “I’m worried she’s taking it all a bit too seriously. Even Isla said she thinks Elspeth’s on the verge of a breakdown. And if Isla notices someone’s stressed, things must be really bad.”

  Lexie smiled at the sight of Elspeth walking in the door.

  “I’d like a huge glass of wine, please,” Elspeth said as she sat down. “I’m having a night off from baking cakes, or reading blogs about cakes, or watching videos about cakes!”

  “Leana just showed me photos of the practice cake for Isla,” Lexie said. “It looks great.”

  “That’s the problem!” Elspeth said. “You’re not supposed to look at a wedding cake and say it looks great. It’s supposed to be stunning or a work of art. You’re supposed to say wow!”

  “Sorry,” Lexie said as she poured the wine.

  “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I can’t get the flowers right.” She paused to take the glass from Lexie and swigged a few mouthfuls of wine. “Actually, it’s Isla’s fault for wanting a cake covered in intricate flowers. I swear I could create any other style of cake but the one she wants. I think it’s because I just don’t care about the flowers.”

  Leana picked up her phone again. “You should have seen the dinosaur cake she made for Arran’s birthday.” She held out a photo to show Lexie.

  “Wow! That’s incredible.”

  “Exactly!” Elspeth said. “That’s the reaction I want for Isla’s cake. If I stuck to my own design, you’d definitely say wow.”

  “What kind of cake did you want to make?” Lexie asked.

  “It’s kind of quirky,” Elspeth said, leaning onto the bar. “But full of personality. Can I design the cake for your wedding?” she asked dreamily. “In my quirky style? You’d love it. I can draw you designs so you can see it first.”

  Lexie scanned the bar, looking for something to do to distract herself. She was marrying Nick in a week and there’d be no reception, therefore no need for a cake. Guilt hit her hard. Not telling her best friends about her wedding felt deceitful.

  “Maybe,” she said, wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans.

  “Oh god,” Elspeth said. “You don’t think I’m good enough to make your cake, do you?”

  “I’d love for you to make the cake,” Lexie said. “And Isla’s going to love the cake you make for her. Stop stressing about it.”

  “Sorry, let’s change the subject. I’m supposed to be having a night off from thinking about cake.”

  “How was Arran’s party?” Lexie asked.

  “A bit wild,” Elspeth said. “But I suppose that’s to be expected with a bunch of four-year olds.”

  “Poor Rory was completely hungover,” Leana said. “I felt sorry for him with all those screaming kids. He did a good job of organising the games with Logan, though. No way I could do that with a hangover.”

  “Thanks for Arran’s present,” Elspeth said to Lexie.

  “You’re welcome. Nick chose it.” Lexie wasn’t actually sure what the gift was – she’d just signed the card and Nick had taken it over on Sunday while she was at work.

  Leana had a faraway look in her eyes as though she’d drifted into a daydream. “Are you going to take Nick’s name when you get married?” she asked Lexie out of the blue.

  “I’m not sure. I haven’t thought about it.”

  “Lexie MacCleary,” Elspeth said, trying it out. “It sounds all right. It’ll take a bit of getting used to, though. I’ll probably always think of you as Lexie Stewart.”

  “I guess I should think about it,” Lexie said, more to herself than her friends. She’d need to decide quickly. It was only a week until they got married and she hadn’t even considered whether she’d change her name.

  “You’ve got ages to think about it,” Leana said. “I only wondered.”

  Lexie forced a smile and ignored the guilt that flooded through her. It felt as though she was lying to their faces. Thankfully the conversation moved on and Lexie was glad of their company for the evening while she worked. They’d barely left the pub when Nick walked in and slid onto a stool.

  “Thought I’d come and keep you company,” he said.

  “Thank you.” She walked around to kiss him, then ran her fingers through his hair. “You just missed Leana and Elspeth.”

  “Everything okay with them?”

  “Aye. But I felt awful for not telling them we’re getting married next week.”

  “You could always tell them if you want to.”

  “It’s tempting. I just don’t want everyone to know.” She parked herself on the stool beside him. “Leana also asked if I’d take your name when we get married.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I said I don’t know. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought about it sooner.”

  “Do you want to take my name?”

  “I think so. I don’t know, and now I feel pressured to decide.”

  “You can also decide after we’re married. I don’t think it matters.”

  “Did you think I’d change my name?” she asked.

  “I guess I assumed so, but it’s fine if you don’t want to.”

  She put a hand on his knee. “I probably will.”

  “Good. Are you closing up soon?” He glanced around the almost empty room.

  “Yes.” She swivelled on her stool to look at the lone customer beside the fire. “Time to go I’m afraid, Douglas.”

  “I thought you might say that.” He finished his pint and stood to put his coat on. He saluted them as he ambled to the door. “You’re a lovely couple, you two,” he muttered.

  “Thanks, Douglas!” Nick called after him, while Lexie stifled a laugh.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The feeling that she was forgetting something wouldn’t leave Lexie as she packed for their trip to the southernmost part of Scotland.

  “How’s it going?” Nick asked, walking into their bedroom where Lexie had her bag open on the bed.

  “I think I have everything.” They were leaving the following morning and her excitement had waned over the last week.

  “Are you okay?” Nick asked. “You look worried.”

  “I’m fine.” Lexie inhaled deeply. “Are you going out?”

  “Just to get my hair cut, remember?”

  “Yes.” He’d told her that already, but her mind was all over the place.

  “I won’t be long.” He kissed her and beamed. “Two days from now you’ll be Mrs MacLeary! How weird is that?”

  “Pretty weird,” she agreed, then waited for him to leave before she slumped onto the
bed. The idea of changing her name made her more uncomfortable the more she thought about it. Nick, on the other hand, was clearly very excited by the idea.

  With a rush of panic, she set off to the pub to talk to her mum. Mary could always calm her down. A few soothing words and Lexie would be fine – except her mum was out shopping, so Lexie ended up going for a walk along the loch in an attempt to calm her nerves.

  It seemed to have the opposite effect. As she walked, she got more anxious about the idea of taking Nick’s name. It also made her wonder what else they’d neglected to consider. They were getting married in two days, and it occurred to her that maybe her dad was right about it being too hasty. She was going to spend the rest of her life with Nick, and there was so much they hadn’t discussed. Maybe he didn’t even want the same things out of life as she did.

  After walking for almost an hour, she turned towards home and called Nick as she went. The sun was setting and an orange haze hung over the water.

  “I’ve just walked out of the barber,” Nick said. “I need to call at the shops. Do you need anything?”

  “No,” she said. “Don’t be long, please. I need to talk to you.”

  “That sounds serious.”

  “I’ll talk to you at home,” she said, then ended the call.

  She hadn’t been home long when Nick got back.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, staring at her from the living room doorway.

  She paced in front of the fireplace. “I’m panicking.”

  “I can see that. Why?”

  “Lots of reasons.”

  “Is one of them that you don’t want to get married?”

  She stopped pacing and bit on her lip. “I don’t know,” she said sadly.

  Without a word, Nick walked to the couch. He sat down and looked at her expectantly.

  “I don’t want to take your name,” she blurted out.

  Nick shook his head. “You don’t have to.”

  “But I want us to have the same name. If we have different names, how do we choose which name to give our kids? I want to have the same surname as my kids.” She went to sit beside Nick. “And then I realised I don’t even know how many kids you want. We haven’t talked about it properly. I think you want children but I don’t really know.”

  “I would like to have kids,” he said, taking her hand. “And I was under the impression you felt the same.”

  She nodded. “How many do you want?”

  “Two, three?” He shrugged. “I don’t really know. I figured we’d start with one and see how much we like it.”

  “Two or three sounds good,” she said with a smile. “I’m sorry. I just started panicking about everything.”

  “We don’t have to get married yet,” he said, curling his fingers tighter around hers. “We can cancel it and wait.”

  “Really?”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “I don’t know what I want. Everything feels like such a jumble. I hate that I haven’t told Leana. And I got so stressed about changing my name.”

  “Why don’t you want to change your name?” Nick asked.

  “Because aside from you, the person I love most in the world is Mary. And I know she’ll always be my mum, but we’re not actually related by blood like Angus and I are.”

  “But you have the same name?”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yes. It’s just a name and it doesn’t matter but––”

  “I understand,” he said, giving her a crooked smile. “What if I change my name?”

  “What?”

  “I could take your name.”

  Lexie pressed her lips together as her emotions threatened to get the better of her. “You’d do that?”

  “Yes. I’d like us to have the same name.”

  “I love you so much,” she said, caressing his cheek as she leaned in to kiss him.

  “But you want to postpone getting married?”

  “No.” She smiled widely. “I don’t. But I need to go and tell Leana or I’m going to feel terrible for keeping it a secret from her.”

  “That’s a good idea.”

  “I’ll go and tell her now.” She kissed him again, feeling much more positive about everything. “I won’t be long,” she said as she headed for the door.

  Often she enjoyed the walk over to Leana’s place, but too much thinking time wasn’t proving good for her so she took the car instead. It only took a few minutes to reach the gorgeous, bright white house nestled in a clearing by the loch.

  “This is a nice surprise,” Leana said when she answered the door. “Perfect timing too. Alasdair’s out for the evening. He’s gone over to Portree to talk to Craig about playing more gigs in the Merchant Bar.”

  “That’s convenient,” Lexie said, following Leana down the hall to the kitchen. “I was hoping to talk to you alone.”

  “What’s going on?” Leana asked.

  “Nick and I are going to get married.” She stood by the island in the kitchen, waiting to see how her best friend would react.

  Leana puffed out a short laugh. “I know.”

  “On Thursday,” Lexie added.

  “Thursday?” Leana repeated, rooted to the spot.

  “Yes. The day after tomorrow.” Lexie couldn’t bear the silence so she kept talking. “Everything felt really stressful with my dad and my dysfunctional family. So we thought we’d just go away and get married without any fuss. We’re driving down to Gretna Green tomorrow. We get married on Thursday afternoon.”

  Leana stared at her, open-mouthed.

  “We’ve been planning it for a few weeks,” Lexie continued, unable to stop blethering on. “I’ve been desperate to tell you but we wanted to keep it to ourselves and I was worried that if I told you … ”

  A smile crept over Leana’s face. “If you tell one Mackenzie something, you tell them all?”

  “I should have told you sooner,” Lexie said. “I know you’d have kept it a secret if I’d asked.”

  “To be fair, I think I’d have struggled not to tell anyone. But I only have to keep my mouth shut for a few days, right?”

  “Aye.” Lexie watched Leana’s reaction, surprised that she didn’t seem annoyed. “We’ll tell everyone afterwards.”

  “I can’t believe you’re eloping! That’s so cool.”

  “Do you think so?”

  “Yes! It’s so romantic. Your dad doesn’t approve so you run away to get married.” She put a hand to her chest and blew out a breath. “This is going to be such a great story.”

  “I’d really rather Dad was fine with it and we could have a traditional wedding, but that didn’t seem like an option.”

  “It’s only really a party,” Leana said. “The main thing is you and Nick love each other and want to be together forever.”

  Lexie nodded. “That’s what I keep telling myself.”

  “I’m so excited for you,” Leana said with a huge grin. “Have you got your dress?”

  “Yeah. Mum took me shopping in Inverness a couple of weeks ago.”

  “What’s it like? I want to see it.”

  “I don’t have a photo of it,” Lexie said.

  “Good, because I’d rather see you in it. Is it at your place?”

  “Yes.”

  “Let’s go then.” Leana nodded in the direction of the front door. “We can have a mini hen night!”

  Lexie stopped at the front door.

  “What’s wrong?” Leana asked.

  “I thought you’d be angry that I didn’t tell you.”

  Leana shook her head. “You always do that. You assume I’m going to be angry with you and forget that I’m your best friend and just want you to be happy. I completely understand why you didn’t tell me.”

  “Thank you,” Lexie whispered as she hugged Leana.

  “Come on,” Leana said. “I can’t wait to see the dress.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  On the short drive home, Lexie excitedly chatted to Leana
about her shopping in Inverness and how she’d found the perfect dress. Leana peppered her with questions and sent a message to Alasdair telling her where she was in case he came home before her.

  Nick looked a little surprised when they arrived at the house, chatting animatedly.

  “You look happier,” he said to Lexie.

  “We’re having a hen party and Lexie’s showing me the dress,” Leana said. “So you might want to make yourself scarce.”

  “I can do that,” he said.

  “Is there wine here?” Leana asked him.

  “I can nip out and get you some.” He kissed Lexie’s cheek, then left them alone.

  “Come on,” Lexie said, hurrying for the stairs.

  In the spare bedroom, she took the dress from the back of the door and unzipped the protective case.

  Leana clasped her hands together. “Oh my goodness, it’s gorgeous!”

  “I really love it,” Lexie said.

  “It’s so elegant. And the material is divine.” She ran her fingers over it, barely touching it as though she was worried she’d damage it. “Put it on and show me,” she demanded.

  They were both giggling as Lexie stripped down to her underwear and wriggled into the dress. She held it in place while Leana zipped it up for her.

  “I don’t know how I’m going to manage on Thursday,” Lexie said. “I guess Nick’s going to have to help me.”

  “Since you’re not getting married the traditional way, you don’t need to worry about silly traditions like him not seeing you in your dress beforehand.”

  “That’s true.” Lexie moved to the mirror once she was zipped into the dress.

  “You look amazing,” Leana said. “What are you going to do with your hair?”

  “I can’t decide.” Lexie lifted her shoulder-length hair and twisted it at the back of her head. She’d had it cut the previous day, so it felt lovely and healthy. “What do you think?”