Raise The Price

by Mark Stanley

  "All of the airports are closed and I don't know when I'll be able to move."

  "You're a complete donkey! You had better get here for Christmas Billy or your life will be not worth living, and when you do we can have a little chat about the little chat that I was forced to have with Coombes."

  "Oh."

  "I'm not sure fucking Oh covers it! No Billy, you are a prize prick but I'm not going to lose you to some Muslim Extremists, so you and I need a plan and part one is kicking the UN into touch."

  "Let's discuss it when I get there...if I ever get there." The look she gave me saved an awful lot of words. "It was a joke Victoria remember those, ha, ha?"

  "Oh I remember them Billy, every time I see your face I remember them."

  "Snow continues to fall across the length of the Eastern Seaboard and it's not expected to stop until late on Tuesday. Everyone is being asked to stay at home. All flights and trains have been cancelled indefinitely and..."

  I muted the TV by Monday evening it was beginning to grate. I'd already rung down for room service and to check that my guys were all okay and being catered for, which of course they were. Three of them sat in the next door room playing cards and after closing down the laptop I went through to join them.

  "How are we going to get out?"

  "Until the snow stops we can't Lord Stanley."

  "Can we drive South?"

  They all shook their heads, before Craig responded.

  "It's really dangerous Lord Stanley. We all appreciate that you want to get away but we have to sit-tight, for now at least. Maybe tomorrow we can make a plan?"

  But of course we couldn't. When I got up on Tuesday morning the television could only repeat what I was seeing with my own eyes.

  "The snow continues to fall. In parts of Upper New York State, more than five feet of snow has fallen in the last twelve hours and there are drifts twelve feet high. The President has declared a State of Emergency and the National Guard has been mobilised..."

  I was working away, when the phone rang, I answered it because Caroline couldn't get to work.

  "Hello?"

  "I can see that you're working but I can't quite believe it, I've spoken with Poppy and she's confirmed it and Eloise has doubly confirmed it."

  "What are you wittering on about woman?"

  "You My Noble Lord, spokesperson for the poor and destitute, CEO of MSP and CEO Designate of Brompton Estates, will, in the next hour have cleared ALL of his work. It's never been known, Lord Mark Stanley, with a clear desk, I'm going to issue a Press statement to Reuters."

  "My next task, after clearing my work will be to speak with a recruitment agency so as to find a replacement for you dear Felicity."

  "No one will take you on so that's a waste of time. How's NYC?"

  "Under a mountain of snow and I can't get out of the hotel, let alone to Barbados."

  "Victoria will maim you if you don't get down there by Friday."

  "Thanks Felicity, I'm going to enter you for Mastermind, 'Felicity Cope, specialist subject, stating the obvious'."

  "When's it due to relent?"

  "Maybe tonight, but there must be five or six feet of snow lying on the ground so how the hell I can get to La Guardia even if they clear a runway and give us a take-off slot, Lord knows?"

  "Chopper?"

  "Maybe, but I have to get somewhere it can land and there's nowhere, certainly nowhere that's accessible from the hotel."

  "You have booked a flight?"

  "Please don't start, you sound like a reincarnation of Victoria and frankly I don't have the strength."

  And still the snow fell. At 7 o'clock I went downstairs as I had cabin fever after spending so much time in the room. We walked into 'Bemelmans Bar', me and my CPO’s, on arrival we struggled to find a seat; seriously it was packed with residents, locals, all smiling and enjoying some company. We sat and looked so out of place for I looked as if I was a prisoner, under guard but I ignored the looks and took a seat at the bar as the CPO’s got comfortable with their soft drinks I had a rather fine glass of Montrachet as I tapped away on the stem of my glass enjoying the music. Then an hour or so later the concierge came in and shouted.

  "It's stopped snowing!"

  A bigger cheer would have been hard to imagine.

  Miracles only happen in books and there was to be no immediate release from my five star prison. On awakening on Wednesday, I could see Madison Avenue but no one was walking for it would have been impossible as the snow was so thick. I looked at the television news and they just confirmed that the snow had passed by and now the clear-up could start but that it would be 'many days' before the City would return to normality and that all flights were suspended until at least Thursday. I spoke with Victoria, or at least I tried to but the expletives drowned me out. I wasn't sure whether I was just a fucking prick or I changed genders and became a fucking cunt, it was that sort of phone call. Thankfully the children hadn't heard and they were just disappointed by Daddy's continued absence when I did finally get to speak with them.

  Wednesday was long and pretty tiresome. I was in advance on the work front and I was actually inventing tasks for myself, which hadn't gone unnoticed as Felicity rang with more jibes which I could really have done without.

  "You're in danger of becoming a bore Felicity; can you not just go away and enjoy your Christmas? Don't worry about me being locked away on the Upper East Side. I think The Carlyle have plenty of turkeys in the fridge."

  "How's Victoria taking it?"

  "Akin to being bitten by a rabid dog. Just about still on the side of sane but that will change if I don't make it."

  "Can't anybody help?"

  "How? Nothings moving, all of the airports are closed, at least until tomorrow and quite frankly unless they have a massive stock of snowploughs hidden away there's no way of clearing the roads to the airport for days I suspect."

  For a little light relief I rang my Mother, always good for cheering me up.

  "...Of course it's God's way of showing how he much he dislikes those that offend him and you've done plenty of that and not just with God. Now we're here having a lovely time with James and Juliet, who are so nice, a pity that you didn't take after him rather than Lucifer. I'll always blame your Father for dropping you on the stone floor, after that you became impossible."

  The thing with my Mother is that she draws breath when you least expect it and so your chance of interceding is passed before you even realise it's arrived, so today proved. I had barely uttered a single word when she announced that she had to go as they were about to play charades, her favourite and wasn't that considerate? How she couldn't remember the last time that I had instigated anything worthwhile and how Victoria must be on her way to becoming Sainted. I hung up but not before wishing her a Happy Christmas and that I'd try to speak with them all on Christmas Day.

  "We do so miss Victoria and the children."

  Thursday of perhaps the longest week of my life, but more importantly Christmas Eve. I was tempted to buy a shovel, not to dig with but to defend myself when eventually I'm reunited with my wife. The day had begun the same as the last few had, with the news and trying to get updates. Most of it seemed to be pictures of people jumping off house roofs onto and into snowdrifts with the regular 'don't try this at home' warnings and of course that's exactly what people would do, I would, it looked great fun. The airports were still closed although they were hoping to get some flights out later today. The roads were by and large still impassable with anything less than a snowplough. The only hope seemed to be trains and even then I couldn't see how we would get anywhere that I could charter a plane from in time, a problem I left with Caroline as she seemed to have the answers, most of the time. I decided to have a wander out into the playground of snow, so CPO’s at hand we ventured forth and after a very difficult hundred yards turned back.

  The morning was followed by lunch, but I was steeling myself for my normal daily phone call to Victoria not a task to be unde
rtaken lightly. As I was contemplating the call, the doorbell rang out and I heard Tom speaking with someone but no idea whom. There was a knock at the door and I opened it only to be confronted by...someone saluting.

  "Lord Stanley, my name is Captain Eugene O'Neil of the United States Air Force; I believe you need a lift to Barbados Sir?"

  "And you can help Captain O'Neil?"

  "I surely can sir. If you're ready, I have a half-track outside which we can use to get to the helicopter that's landing in Central Park and then it's onto Andrews Air Force Base and you're trip onto Barbados."

  When the USAF come knocking one doesn't refuse and so with only the clothes I stood up in and the bags of presents that I'd purchased, before snowmageddon, we left The Carlyle and all crammed into the half-track for the short journey.

  "Captain, this is much unexpected, but very welcome, who arranged this?"

  "A woman called Felicity Cope rang The President?"

  Tom smiled and so did the other CPO’s who heard this.

  "Did he take the call?"

  "He sure did Sir."

  "Wow, that's impressive."

  "Not really, she said she had you on the line."

  The flight down to Barbados was really fun. We all went for a walk around the plane and compared it, rather unfavourably with our own but not in earshot of any of our hosts, after all one doesn't wish to upset anyone and certainly not the most powerful man in the World.

  "So what is this plane Captain?"

  "It's a Boeing VC-25A."

  "It's very comfortable and we're very privileged to be on Air Force One. "

  He smiled. "Its call sign is only Air Force One when the President is in occupation."

  During the flight, I took a call from the great man himself and thanked him profusely for the help, to which he replied.

  "If you ever feel like getting rid of that PA let me know because I could use her she's very persuasive."

  "We'll be on the ground in ten minutes Sir, if you'll take your seats?"

  We flew straight in, no hold ups and we waited for the steps to be wheeled out so that we could disembark as there are no air bridges at Grantley Adams Airport. It only took a couple of minutes before the Steward was alerted by a knock on the outside door and he swung the big door open and secured it before motioning us forward. I felt very Presidential but refrained from giving the standard wave from the doorway. but only just. I had said my farewell and given my thanks for the smooth flight and wished them all a Happy Christmas. I just hoped mine would be.

  As we stepped off the plane, the refuelling was already underway. It was late; I looked at my watch to confirm it was almost 11pm as we walked up the slope to Immigration. We were given a very polite and efficient greeting as our passports were stamped and we were allowed to pass through into the Customs Hall. None of us had baggage from the hold and so we went up to the desk and offered our bags for inspection but we were met by a smile and a shake of the head. I suspect people arriving on Air Force One don't generally pose too many illicit contraband problems. We followed the signs for Arrivals and went through a door before being met by an area filled with...taxi drivers, all plying their trade. We went forward and as Tom started trying to sort out suitable transportation there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned and...

  "Hello Billy, Happy Christmas."

  By the time that we had got to the harbour, onto the tender and out to the Melissa it was Christmas Day and I think the last few days told on everyone as we were all mentally exhausted and for the first time in many days Tom and his crew could relax, just a tad as the other guys had travelled out with Victoria and the children to provide protection. The ship was quiet and we went to our suite but not before I looked in on the children who unsurprisingly, were fast asleep. Victoria had arranged 'Santa Sacks', sacks full of small fun presents, things that we're deemed either too small or irrelevant to be put under the massive Christmas tree that graced the main Salon. They had been stored in our room and so I transferred these across as we wouldn't want the children waking up and being disappointed.

  "So you made it Billy, nice to get a lift on Air Force One."

  "It's only that when The Presidents on board."

  "Rich and powerful."

  "Yes, I suppose he is."

  "I was talking about me Billy. Now do that thing to me that you're so good at and I might start to forgive you for almost messing up Christmas."

  6am and I'm up hunting coffee. Extreme weather would probably cover what I had been through but now as I sit down looking at the breaking dawn, on what promises to be a great day, it feels almost surreal. From snowdrifts in New York to balmy temperatures in Barbados, the contrast was startling. I thanked the girl for bringing the coffee in my requisite large mug; the crew forget nothing and sat down to enjoy the peace, which didn't last very long as first the boys and then Lulu appeared. Greetings exchanged, I sat with Lulu as the boys thrust drones onto my lap to get working.

  "We didn't think you were going to make it?"

  "I know Lulu it was very touch and go but thankfully Felicity used my name in vain and got me a ride from the US Air Force."

  "Cool!"

  "In a fighter jet?"

  "No Hugo, on the Presidents plane, the one that they call Air Force One when he's on it."

  They all stared at me.

  "What?"

  "On that big Jumbo Jet?"

  "That's the one Charles."

  Silence followed before Hugo asked what they all had been thinking.

  "Are you that important?"

  Which caused me to think for a moment, was it friendship or because of my job at the UN? "I don't know Hugo, what do you think?"

  "Probably, but you're still our Daddy, aren't you?"

  "For forever and a day."

  We played with the drones until the batteries needed recharging and then we had a game of 'poking, prodding and shaking' the presents under the tree, trying to guess what each contained, something that I had done with my siblings and the more outrageous the guess the more laughter.

  Charles had a parcel which was quite squidgy. "I think it's a Formula One car, full size!"

  You get the idea.

  By 7.30am the Burns children had surfaced along with Mum and Dad.

  "Goodness you slept in on Christmas Day!"

  "No they didn't they woke at 5.30am and we've been keeping them quietish and entertained in the cabin. What time did you get here?"

  "A little before one, how're you enjoying life aboard the Melissa?"

  "It's a fabulous ship, but it seemed to be lacking something...didn't it Victoria?"

  Victoria had just arrived and took the spot on my lap, kissing my forehead as she sat. "Mm, it certainly did, fat mouth Stanley!" Which got everyone laughing.

  Before breakfast, it was present opening time. I had bought, before the blizzard, sacks of the things for everyone and these had been added to the pile under the tree. Victoria had bought all of the CPO’s presents as well for they were far from home without their own families an occupational hazard I supposed, but even so we were determined that they would enjoy the day as much as was possible whilst doing their jobs. She had had printed thirty two pairs of Rudolph swimming shorts, thirty two pairs of Santa swimming shorts plus a whole host of other things all which seemed to be greatly appreciated by the guys.

  "Where's mine Billy?" She pouted and I felt a stirring.

  "In the room."

  "Go fetch."

  "No I'll be embarrassed."

  "I don't care I want to see how much you love me, so go fetch."

  "You know how much I love you and a gift can't show that."

  "It had better not be a Santa bikini!"

  "Don't make me do it here come on." I took her hand and tried pulling her up but she wasn't budging, so very reluctantly I trotted off to get it. With Victoria it's a really hard task to buy something that she actually wants and I had decided sometime ago that, wherever possible I'd stick to jewellery for
jewellery is the thing that melts Victoria's heart. I rummaged through my small holdall and found the box with its perfect wrapping paper before returning to the crowd who were busy enjoying seeing the children playing with their toys. As soon as I produced the box from behind my back Victoria's expectation was sky-high.

  "Oh Billy, whatever could it be!"

  "Happy Christmas."

  She turned and placed the box on the seat with her back to the main activities as she carefully removed the paper to reveal the little blue box with the "Tiffany" logo on.

  She smiled approvingly as she removed the lid and then gasped.

  "Oh, My, God!"

  She firstly removed the exquisite emerald necklace and I helped put it on followed by the earrings and finally the ring.

  "I was going to split the set and keep the ring and earrings back for the twins birth but then, as I'd kept you waiting so long..." I didn't finish. Victoria stood and came to sit on my lap, nestling into me as the tears fell she couldn't speak and she didn't need to.

  The morning had been busy. I was shocked that the water sports guy, Craig had been under-employed since they had all arrived, even my own children had apparently been subdued, that changed on Christmas morning. We started with water-skiing, went to the jet skies and then onto the huge inflatable slides and water mattress. I was just coming up to the third deck so that I could take my turn at jumping down and firing the lucky recipient twenty feet in the air when the three women, Victoria, Lucia and Melissa, almost in unison dropped their sunglasses to the end of their noses and starred at me.

  "What?" I queried.

  "Hubba bubba." Was all Lucia could muster.