by Sophie Stern
Something told me that this woman did, too.
“Of course,” he said. “Anything to help a good friend like you.” His voice sounded tight and tense, but I couldn’t see his facial reaction to what the woman was saying. Who was she to him? Was this his ex? Or was it another woman who had captured his attention the same way I had?
“I think we’re a little more than friends, don’t you?” She asked. Her voice came out in a sort of purr, and I was instantly jealous. Why was she touching him like this? Who was this woman?
Only, David and I weren’t dating. Were we? We weren’t even really friends. If I was being honest with myself, we were little more than acquaintances who had grown up together. David really was just some guy I knew. Yeah, he was Felix’s best friend, but he wasn’t mine.
I had no hold over him. I had no say in whether he dated other women. I definitely didn’t have a say in him dating this woman. He could sleep with whoever he wanted to, and there was not a single thing I could – or should – say about it. I was nothing to him. Nothing. We had one night, and that was it. My stomach tightened at the realization. Yeah, I shouldn’t have come here. This was a bad idea. Still, I couldn’t force myself to look away. I must have been a glutton for punishment because I just kept staring.
David cleared his throat. I couldn’t see his face. Was he turned on? Did he like her attention? Did he think she was being annoying? I had no way of knowing. I didn’t have to wait to decide, though, because she reached for him and leaned forward. Then she kissed him. I couldn’t see whether it was on his cheek or his mouth, but I heard it loud and clear.
Judging from the way my brother’s head shot up, everyone in the office heard it.
Yeah, so that was a real kiss.
I thought I might throw up. What the hell had I been thinking? I didn’t get like this after a fling. If anything, I was always the one who was more than happy to fuck and run. With David, though, things had felt very different than they were supposed to. With him, things had felt wildly magical. Wonderful. Oh shit. I was in so much trouble.
“Debra, not now,” David said, trying to silence the woman in front of him. He lowered his voice, but it didn’t matter because the entire office had fallen silent. Everyone was trying to pretend like they were still working, but it was obvious that nobody was. Everyone had their ears strained to find out who this woman was with David Walker and what he was going to do about her.
“Of course,” she said. “You’re at work, after all. I’ll see you in a few hours.” Then she gave him a little wave and walked past him. I stepped back into my brother’s office doorway as she passed me, not wanting her to bump into me. She was grinning as she left, walking toward the front door. It was definitely the face of a woman who had gotten everything she wanted. She was the kind of woman who didn’t even have to try. If there was something she wanted, something she craved, then she just got it. That was how girls like her worked.
She left the office confidently, and I turned back to look at David. He looked over his shoulder to watch her walk away, but his eyes caught mine. They widened instantly. There was so much contained in that expression.
Surprise.
Horror.
Embarrassment.
Disappointment?
David looked like he was going to walk toward me, but I didn’t want to talk to David. Not now. Maybe not ever again. Horrified at what I’d just seen, I darted into my brother’s office and closed the door. Then I locked it. I turned around and stared at my brother. My back was to the door. Felix was still at his desk, and he was staring at me. He’d heard the kiss, but he didn’t know what had happened between me and David. I hadn’t told him. I didn’t want to tell him.
“What’s going on?” Felix asked, standing up. He came around the side of the desk and started walking toward me.
I just shook my head. I turned around and stared at the door. Then I started backing away from it. I looked at it like it was going to bite me. I knew that David was coming to the door. I knew it. He had spotted me, and he’d seen the look on my face, and he was going to want to talk about what had just happened. I didn’t want to talk to him.
Sure enough, a knock came loud and clear. It was the kind of knock that showed ownership and leadership. That kind of knock said that this guy knew what he wanted, and he took it. What he wanted right now was to talk to me.
“Zoey? I think we need to talk.”
Felix appeared beside me. We were both staring at the door. I felt Felix’s eyes on me. He was watching me to see what I would say and do, but I could barely form words. David and I had gone our separate ways just hours ago, and now he was already kissing someone else. It had been a fling. I knew that. Wasn’t there like, a certain amount of time you were supposed to wait before kissing someone else, though?
“I do not want to talk,” I whispered to my brother. The idea of having to face David made me feel sick. What would I even say? He hadn’t done anything wrong. It was just...
Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that I was going to be hurting over this. It was safe to say that my idea of sleeping with David and having it be just a one-time thing was a bad choice. David was a good guy, and I didn’t want one night. I wanted more. I wanted him. I’d just been a total and utter fool about it. I’d lied to myself, and I’d lied to him, and now I was paying the price for that.
“I’ll take care of it.”
Felix went to the door, and he whispered something to David. I couldn’t hear what they said. It was a few simple words, but it was enough to make David leave. Then Felix came back over to me, placed a hand on my shoulder, and guided me to the chairs in front of his desk. He helped me into one, and then he went to his own side of the desk and sat down. Felix looked at me the way he’d looked at me when I was a little kid and I’d come home with a crappy report card. He watched me carefully, looking for lies. I knew what he was doing. He wanted to know what the deal was. Why had I freaked out over David Walker kissing a woman in the office? For all Felix knew, maybe that was David’s date for the night.
“What’s going on, little sister?” My brother’s words were gentle, and they were careful. He didn’t ask me what I’d done, and he didn’t ask me why I was upset. He just asked me what was going on, and it was enough for me to burst into tears. Shit. I so hadn’t planned on crying today. Not over David. Not in front of Felix. I sniffled, trying to get myself under control. I wasn’t going to make any loud crying noises. Not here.
“David and I had sex last night.” I blurted it out, and then covered my mouth with my hand. I was horrified, and I stared at my brothers, eyes wide, because I couldn’t believe I’d actually admitted it.
“I know,” he said. His eyes twinkled a little at my obvious confusion. “Movie night? Really? Come on, kid. I’m not 12.”
“Oh,” I whispered, sniffling. So apparently, I hadn’t been as sneaky as I wanted to be. The tears were still coming, but I hadn’t sobbed or made any loud noises or anything. I felt like I was doing a good job of keeping my crying under control. I couldn’t stop the tears, though. It was waterwork-city.
“What’s going on?” Felix asked gently. “Was it just a fling or is there something more? Usually, I wouldn’t think of you as the type of person to cry over a boy.” Again, his eyes were twinkling, but Felix was patient. That was the thing I liked most about my brother. He was always relentlessly patient.
“I don’t know,” I told him. “All I know is that I’m getting ready to fly back to California, and I don’t want to see him again before I do.”
I felt sick thinking about Debra. He’d told me they were broken up. Well, they definitely didn’t look broken up today. In fact, they looked very much together. Maybe David was coming over to my brother’s office to say that it was all a mistake or a misunderstanding, but I didn’t really want to hear that. I didn’t want to hear any of that.
To his credit, Felix didn’t tell me I needed to talk to David. He didn’t tell me there was obvious
ly a misunderstanding that could easily be sorted. He didn’t tell me that I needed to be a big girl or deal with the decision I’d made. Instead, he just nodded as though this was the simplest request in the world.
“All right,” he said. “I can make that happen.”
He got up, grabbed his jacket, and gestured for me to come with him. I scurried to move, hurrying to keep up with him. Felix put his arm around me as we walked. Then he led me out of his office, out of the lobby, and into the elevators. We rode in silence right down to the parking garage, got into his SUV, and drove away. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the seat. My phone was buzzing like crazy, and I suspected that David was texting me, but I just did not want to deal with it.
“What did you say to him?” I finally asked. “To make him go away, I mean.” I kept my eyes closed. I couldn’t look at Felix. I couldn’t do it.
“I reminded him that we were at work and that he could talk to you when we weren’t at the office.”
“That makes sense,” I whispered. “I was wondering if you threatened him, movie-style.”
“Movie-style?”
“You know, how the big brother always says something like, ‘If you come near her again, I’ll break your nose.’”
“I don’t think I’d make a threat like that around a bunch of attorneys,” he laughed. Then he looked over at me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” I said. “If we never talk about David again, it will be too soon.”
“Understood,” he said. Then, a pause. “So, I guess this is probably a bad time to let you know that Lauren wants you as her maid of honor...and that he’ll be my best man.” I could feel the anxiety wafting off my brother. He felt bad about this arrangement, but it wasn’t his fault.
I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. Then I looked out of the window and sighed. It wasn’t about me, I reminded myself. It wasn’t about me and it wasn’t about David and it wasn’t some weird payback or punishment for what we’d done. This was Felix and Lauren’s special day, and I needed to do everything in my power to make sure they had the wedding of their dreams. If sucking it up and acting normal around David was what it took, then so be it. Besides, they’d probably have a long engagement. I’d have plenty of time to go fuck David out of my system.
“I’d be honored,” I said. “I can’t wait.”
9
David
Three Months Later
The rehearsal dinner was only three months after Felix’s birthday party. It seemed wildly rushed, but nobody talked about the obvious elephant in the room. Was Lauren pregnant? Was that the reason they were having such a whirlwind wedding? Nobody wanted to ask. I probably should have manned up and popped the question. After all, Felix and I were best friends, but there were a lot of things Felix and I weren’t talking about lately.
For one thing, why hadn’t Felix’s little sister spoken to me since that day in the office? Neither one of us had mentioned it. Neither one of us had brought it up, but that was because I knew why.
We both knew why.
The problem was that it had been a giant misunderstanding that had caused Zoey to never want to see me again. Anytime I tried to bring her up, Felix just shook his head and told me he didn’t want to be involved. I got it. He wasn’t a mediator. It wasn’t his job to help Zoey and I find common ground to work out this problem.
It was his job to plan his wedding and take care of Lauren and make sure that everything went perfectly on her big day. The rehearsal dinner was to be held at a beautiful restaurant just a few blocks away from the church where the ceremony would take place. Lauren and Felix both wanted a church wedding, so they’d chosen the chapel where her parents had gotten married years ago. It was a cute little church, and it was a good choice for a wedding. It was idyllic in many ways.
The plan was to rehearse and then eat, which was probably a good idea. If we ate first, nobody would want to go to the church because we’d all be stuffed full of food, and possibly drunk. As it was, I only wished I was drinking.
Felix and I were the first to arrive at the church, and we sat outside while we waited for everyone else. The mood between us was solemn, teetering on excitement. I knew he was nervous. Felix pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and brought it to his lips.
“Smoking?” I asked. “Since when do you smoke?” It wasn’t something I’d ever seen him do before. In our friendship, I was always the naughty one, the edgy one. Felix was as straightlaced as they came.
“Since I have a lot on my mind,” he told me, shrugging. He looked away, as though he couldn’t bear to say what the problem was.
“A lot on your mind? Like what?”
This was it.
This was his opening to tell me that Lauren was preggers. We all knew it. It was totally obvious. He could just come out and say it, but instead, he shook his head. Chicken.
“Just the commitment,” he said.
Wait a minute...what?
“Are you trying to tell me you’ve got cold feet? Is this the part where I convince you to walk through those doors and seal the deal, my friend?” I could do that if he needed me to. If Felix Lane needed someone to encourage him, then I could be that guy. Was I ready to get married? Absolutely not. Was I comfortable telling my best friend to man up and go through with it? Sure. If I doubted at all that Felix really wanted this, I’d tell him to run for the hills, but Felix loved Lauren. They both felt like they were supposed to be together.
“No,” he shrugged, puffing on the cigarette. Seriously, smoking? When did this start? Felix had always been so clean cut. If anything, he was kind of a goody-two-shoes. I’d always been the naughtier one out of the two of us. I was the one who liked sex and kink and being a bad boy. Felix had always been wildly vanilla in every way.
“Then what is it?”
“Lauren’s pregnant,” he finally said, looking over at me. “You probably didn’t know, but that’s why we decided to get married so fast. We want to be married when the baby arrives.” The look on his face was so serious and so cautious that I didn’t have it in my heart to tell him that not only did I know, but that everyone knew. Instead of calling him out on the shitty lie, I started laughing and hugged him.
“Congratulations, man,” I said. “You’re going to be a great father.”
I didn’t say that we all knew it. I didn’t say it was obvious by Lauren’s insane cravings. I didn’t say anything at all except that I was happy for him. That was what being a best friend was all about. It was about knowing when to call your friend out and when to just let them have a moment to themselves. This was a big deal for Felix. It would be a big deal for anyone. He was about to become not only a husband, but a dad. That was incredible, but it was a lot of pressure, too.
“I haven’t told Zoey yet,” he admitted quietly. Felix seemed bothered by this. I wondered if it had something to do with the fact that I’d slept with her. Felix didn’t say anything about Zoey, not really, but I suspected that he knew what had happened. He was kind enough not to call me out on hurting his kid sister, but still, the fact that he didn’t tell her Lauren was pregnant was strange. Had I inadvertently caused a rift between Felix and Zoey? Fuck, I hoped not.
“Why not?” It surprised me that he’d keep this from anyone, let alone Zoey. I was almost as surprised to hear he’d kept this secret as I was that he’d willingly brought Zoey’s name up in conversation. For the past few months, he had carefully avoided talking about her at all, and I didn’t blame him. I’d upset her, and wildly so.
I hadn’t expected my ex-girlfriend to show up at work, and I definitely hadn’t expected her to make a move on me in front of the entire office. When I’d seen Zoey’s face, I’d known that I’d screwed up. Instead of blatantly kicking Debra out of the office, I’d tried to remain civil. I valued my job and the relationship I had with my clients. My coworkers’ opinions of me were also important to me, and I didn’t want them to think I was taking the easy way out at work.<
br />
In retrospect, I should have told her to get lost. Instead, I’d tried to err on the side of being polite. I never had seen Debra again. I couldn’t stand her, and in fact, I made it a point not to go to anyplace she could even possibly be present at. I worked very hard to make sure we were never in the same circles, yet that wasn’t enough.
Zoey didn’t want to talk to me, which sucked. It was painful to me. The truth was that one night just hadn’t been enough. She’d been so perfect and wild. I’d gone on a few dates since my night with Zoey, but nobody had compared. I wasn’t going to go as far as to say that she’d changed me, but she’d definitely driven me crazy in all of the best ways, and what was worst of all was that I missed her. It felt like the universe was finally giving me a chance with her. Finally, I was given a chance to see what it was like to be with someone as wonderful as Zoey Lane, and I’d completely blown it. I’d fucked up.
“She’s been going through some stuff,” Felix finally said. He puffed on the little cigarette. Damn, that just didn’t look right. I thought about telling him just how stupid he looked. He wasn’t even holding it right. I couldn’t, though. Felix looked too sad. This was his rehearsal for his damn wedding, and the guy looked like a wounded puppy. That just wasn’t okay.
“Like what?” I asked gently. I’d learned, during my years as an attorney, when to tread carefully. This was the kind of situation where Felix could either open up completely or shut back down for months. The wrong word at a time like this could destroy him. I needed to be careful, but I still needed to be here for him.
“Just with the move,” he shook his head, and then his eyes rolled toward me. “Sorry,” he said. “I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Shit.” He dropped the cigarette and rubbed it under the heel of his shoe. Then he picked it up and carried it to a trash bin that was on the curb. He didn’t look at me as he walked away.