“You’d do that for us?” she asked, sharing a smile with Tani when she caught her gaze. “Wow, you really are one of the good ones.”
Her friend went the color of an overripe beetroot when she realized we’d heard her. “Who’s ready to order? Didn’t we come here to eat? I think that’s enough revelations for one night.”
I fully agreed with her, but that didn’t make me any less anxious about what was going to happen when I talked to Bart tomorrow. He seemed relaxed about it now, but I knew I’d put him in a tough position with this. If he ignored it and it came out, the others would think it was nepotism because they knew we were friends.
Hell, that’s probably exactly what it is.
On the other hand, I was already playing the role of her boyfriend in public. What happened between us in private was our business unless it started affecting the way in which I did my job, at which point I would be the first to suggest another bodyguard.
Bart looked at me like he knew exactly what I was thinking, inclining his head before he draped his arm casually along the back of Tani’s chair. She inched closer to him, her eyes bright while she talked to Rylee about Christmas.
This time, I was the one cocking my head at him in a silent question. He shrugged a shoulder and flashed me a grin before turning back to her.
We exhausted the subject of the holidays before Tani brought up New Year’s. She leaned forward, keeping her voice low. “Are you getting excited yet? I sure am. I can’t wait to see you back in your element.”
“Excited, yes, but nervous too.” She withdrew her hand from mine to fidget with her fingers, her gaze glued to her nails suddenly. “My primary doctor went to Bermuda for Christmas. He only just got back this morning. I’m thinking about going in for another checkup.”
Ah, so that’s what it’s about. While Rylee and I had been hot and heavy almost every night this week, she’d started pulling away from me again the last couple of days. I’d assumed it was because of her nerves, but I was happy to know now that it wasn’t anything more.
A part of me was still waiting for the other shoe to drop—the moment when she’d realize I wasn’t good enough for a shining star like her. But I was also hoping that maybe she didn’t feel that way. When we were together, it didn’t feel anything but right. Hell, maybe it was even a lifelong dream of hers to marry an almost-thug like me.
I blinked when I realized the M-word had crept into my mind just like that. Where the hell did that come from?
Sure, I’d wondered about what a future with her would be like. But marriage?
It was probably too soon to even think about it, but something inside me clicked into place when I did. The strangest feeling of peace settled over me, and I smiled.
“You two are super cute together,” Tani said, grinning as she watched us.
Rylee opened her mouth but was interrupted when a young girl appeared next to her at the table. Every muscle in my body clenched and I felt Bart’s eyes on me. The girl didn’t look like a threat, but until we found out what she was doing here, that didn’t mean that she hadn’t been sent as some kind of distraction.
“Excuse me,” she said in a sweet but nervous voice, clearing her throat when Rylee looked at her. “Are you Rylee Naples?”
“Sure am.” She gave the girl a radiant smile. “What’s your name?”
“Amy.” The poor child looked about as starstruck as they came, but my attention wasn’t on her. It was on a couple watching her closely from a table nearby. The woman had her phone up, nudging the man sitting beside her.
They looked proud of Amy, and I concluded they were her parents. I remained on high alert, as did Bart, judging from the rigid set of his shoulders and his sharp gaze, but neither of us moved or waved the girl away.
If she was just a fan who’d spotted Rylee in a restaurant, we were okay. That was part of her job. We couldn’t run off everyone who admired her just because there were a few with some screws loose out there.
“Can I have your autograph?” Amy asked shyly, producing a small notebook and a pen from behind her back. “Mom and I went to watch you in Frozen a couple of years ago. We bought the DVD. I watch it at least once a week.”
Rylee grinned so widely I thought her cheeks might crack. “Sure. I’m glad you enjoyed it. It was a very fun show to do.”
Accepting the book and pen, she thumbed to an empty page and clicked the ink out. “Who was your favorite character?”
“You,” Amy said without any hesitation, and Rylee chuckled until the girl asked her next question. “Are you coming back to Broadway? Mom didn’t want to me ask. She said it was rude, but you seem so nice.”
The smile froze on Rylee’s beautiful face, but then she signed the book and handed it back. “You’re not rude, sweetheart. I’m not sure what’s going to happen, but thanks for the love.”
Amy asked a few more questions about the play she’d seen and the people in it before skipping back to her table. I watched as she showed the couple Rylee’s autograph, and noticed her glancing our way every so often for the rest of our meal.
When we were done eating and went our separate ways from Tani and Bart, who were “splitting a cab home,” Rylee wound her arm around my waist.
“I’m not quite ready to go home yet,” she said. “Do you think we can walk around for a while? Maybe go ice-skating?”
Her cheeks were flushed from the cold, a red scarf wrapped around her neck. The streets were still decked out for Christmas, and her eyes were soft as they took it all in.
I slung my arm around her shoulders, nodding before pressing a kiss to her hair. “Sure. Let’s do it. I know how much you love the lights and decorations.”
“How do you know that?” Her brow furrowed before she laughed. “Right. You get paid not to miss anything.”
“I do, but I’d have noticed everything about you anyway.” I pulled her against my side and couldn’t resist kissing her mouth when she looked up at me. “Let’s go ice-skating, Naples. I should warn you that I haven’t done it in a long time. You might have to catch me if I fall.”
“Always,” she promised, a question in her eyes that I wasn’t ready to answer yet. “As long as you promise to do the same.”
“I won’t have to catch you because I’ll never let you fall. I’ll always already be there, holding you up.”
If she’d already fallen in the other sense, then I was right there with her. If it were up to me, I’d never let her go.
Chapter 26
RYLEE
There were a ton of words Carter and I didn’t say in that exchange. The air between us was heavy with them, but then I tore my gaze away from his and fixed a cheerful smile to my face.
“Good to know, but whether I fall or not might not be up to you.”
In more ways than one. The moment my legs had given out underneath me onstage had been playing through my mind a lot more often recently.
Knowing that I was about to take the stage again had brought back a lot of the nightmares that I’d thought were gone. Doubts about whether I was doing the right thing plagued my mind until Carter quietened it with his mouth and body every night.
I’d tried to get an appointment with my doctor, but I was told he was out of the country. I had an appointment with him the day before my performance anyway, and so I tried to take comfort in the fact that everything seemed okay.
Something was looming, though. I could feel it. I’d chalked it up to being about nothing more than anxiety over going back onstage, but for some reason, every time I looked at Carter, I felt like I was lying to him.
Not wanting to scare him, I hadn’t told him yet about the storm brewing in my gut. It was nothing I could explain, so I didn’t know what I’d tell him anyway. It probably was just nerves. My performance would be broadcast live, and I couldn’t get over the nagging feeling that something was going to go terribly wrong.
Carter frowned when I almost walked right past the path leading to the ice-skating rink. “Wh
at’s going on with you?”
“Speaking to that little girl earlier just reminded me how many eyes will be on me again soon.” I closed my eyes and swallowed past the lump in my throat before looking at him again. “I don’t know if I can do this, Carter. I don’t even know if I should want to.”
He walked around me and put his hands on my shoulders, long fingers massaging the tension in them and his dark eyes intent on mine. “You can do it, baby. I know you can. I also know you’re scared and I don’t blame you. What happened must have been terrifying. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t, but if you do want to, I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”
Half the problem was that I truly believed him when he said it. I stared up at him, lifting my hands to his cheeks and wondering if I’d be able to put him through it if that was what it came down to.
“I won’t let the fear alone keep me from doing it. It was terrifying, but I just need to get the first performance over with. I’m sure it will go better from there.”
He planted a kiss on each of my eyes before he pulled back and smiled at me. “Ready to get out there on the ice?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I held Carter’s hand again on our way down to the rink, only letting it go when it was time to put on our skates. Mine were white and a little snug, but not so much that they hurt me.
“I thought you said you hadn’t done this for a while,” I said, watching him glide ahead of me like he’d been born with skates strapped to his feet.
“I haven’t.” He spun around effortlessly to face me, his arms spreading out at his sides. “It’s all coming back to me now. Are you going to get out here or cling to the railing all night?”
I gritted my teeth and pushed away from it. “If I lose my teeth on this rink tonight, I hope you know you’re the one who’s going to be taking me to the dentist.”
He grinned and skated toward me, catching me with his arms around my waist. “I’d go to hell and back with you. The dentist would be a treat in comparison.”
“Said no one ever.” I laughed and dipped my head back, feeling more carefree than I had in years. “But you’ve proven you’re capable of saying the most romantic things ever. I wouldn’t have thought someone with such a silver tongue could have such a dirty mouth as well.”
I stole a kiss before backing away from him, smiling and winking at him over my shoulder when I took off.
It took me a few minutes to get my rink-legs back, but once I was used to the smooth surface that was only rutted in some places, my body remembered how to go with it. He caught up with me on my second lap around, slowing down slightly to keep pace with me.
“Last I checked, you really liked my dirty mouth,” he said. “And my silver tongue.”
He was right, but before I could think of a witty comeback, a telltale tingling started in my legs. I’d only felt it once before but I’d relived it so many times in my nightmares that I immediately knew what it was.
My face dropped and a scream threatened to tear out of me but never came. Without any further warning than that, my bones turned to jelly and my legs gave out. Before I hit the ice, Carter’s muscular arms were around me and he held me up, his eyes wild on mine.
“What’s going on? What happened?”
“We need to get to the hospital,” I breathed, feeling ice spreading through me even though I hadn’t hit it.
Fear took hold of my organs, its grip on me so tight that I could barely breathe. I knew I was seconds away from freaking out, but I managed to hold myself together while Carter took charge of the situation.
My brain shut down as I heard him calling for help. Eventually, he got me into the manager’s private car. He held me through it all, cradling me gently while stroking my hair and whispering things to me I couldn’t hear over the blood rushing in my ears.
The last time this had happened had been my last night on the stage—days before my diagnosis. Everything had changed for me after that night. My life as I’d known it had been snatched right out from under me, and I’d only recently found my balance again.
What’s going to change this time? The blood had drained from my face when I’d felt the tingling, but the last bit that had been left rushed out now. I felt dizzy. Nauseated.
Worry tightened every part of Carter’s handsome face when he looked down at me. “Talk to me, baby. How are you feeling?”
I shook my head, too afraid I’d vomit all over him if I tried opening my mouth. It might’ve just been the way the lights from outside hit his eyes, but I swore I saw the same kind of terror there that was ripping its way through me, and then everything went black.
When I came to again, I was lying in a hospital bed with an IV in my arm. The room was dark except for the ambient light coming in from the hallway and the window, as well as the tiny screen on the machine next to me.
A hulking frame paced the length of the room, and relief slammed into me when I realized Carter was still with me. He stayed. Just like he said he would.
That was when it hit me. He’d stayed.
My feet were bare but I didn’t remember the skates coming off. The last thing I remembered was Carter carrying me off the ice and flashes of him holding me in the back of a car. He wore paper hospital booties on his feet, which told me he hadn’t even stopped long enough to grab his own shoes or to ask someone to bring them for him.
It’s already happening. He was already taking care of me in the exact way I’d been afraid of. He’s here in the hospital with me when he could be home. He had to race me here and carry me when I couldn’t walk.
Closing my eyes against the pain that rushed at me when I realized everything I hadn’t wanted for him was happening, I let out a soft gasp when it felt like a heavy weight was crushing me from the inside out.
Carter’s head snapped up when he heard it, and he rushed to my side. Elation filled his eyes when they met mine and saw they were open, but there was so much tension in his posture that he practically vibrated with it.
“Rylee, baby. Thank fuck.” He captured my face in his large hands, his fingers stroking me everywhere like he was trying to reassure himself I was really here. “Look at me, Ry. Show me those gorgeous eyes.”
I heard the anguish in his voice, and a sob rose from deep down inside the heart I was about to break. “Just leave, Carter. Please, leave.”
“What? No. They’re giving you fluids. Your doctor’s on his way. I told you I’d—”
“I don’t give a fuck what you told me. I need you to leave.” Despite the hysteria bubbling up in my very soul, my voice was deceptively quiet. I was trying really hard to avoid the meltdown I felt coming on—at least until he was gone.
I can’t let him see that. “Go, Carter.”
“Ryl—”
My hand trembled when I lifted it to cut him off. “Just go. Call Jules for me, will you? I’m not doing the New Year’s thing. It was fucking stupid to even consider it.”
“No, it wasn’t.” The chair he dragged closer to the bed with his one hand scraped across the floor, the fingers of the other still stroking my face. “I know that was scary, but—”
“You don’t know anything,” I bit out, smacking his hand away from my face. “This was all a terrible idea. Getting involved with you included.”
Saying the words out loud slashed my heart right open, leaving me gasping for breath. But I had to do it. I couldn’t drag him down with me. I refused.
Agony crept into his eyes when they stayed on mine and he realized I was serious, but he reached for my hand and jutted his chin out. “I don’t believe any of that. Back away from the ledge, Ry. This doesn’t change anything. We don’t even know yet—”
“I do know!” My voice broke on the scream that finally ripped from my chest. “Don’t you get it, Carter? I do know. I’ve been prepared for this to happen. That’s why I’ve been living the way that I have. I can’t get off the ledge because there’s nowhere else for me to go. My own body decided I have to live
on that fucking ledge for the rest of my life.”
He gripped my hand tighter when I tried to yank it away from him. “Don’t do this to me, Rylee Naples. Don’t do this to us. You don’t have to.”
An ugly, angry monster reared up in my chest. Tears burned the backs of my eyes but I wouldn’t let them fall. None of this was Carter’s fault. I knew I shouldn’t be yelling at him, but I couldn’t help it. I had to push him away before both of us fell even deeper.
He might not have said it earlier, but I knew it was true. Carter Demming had fallen for the broken, sick girl, and I couldn’t do that to someone as strong and full of life as he was. I wouldn’t be the one who he regretted falling for when he spent years of his life beside a bed just like this one instead of out there living it.
“It’s already done,” I said, regaining some control over the volume of my voice. It still came out cutting and venomous, but at least half the hospital wouldn’t hear me anymore. “Bring Bart in for a while if you’re worried about leaving me, but I need some space. Now.”
His jaw was clenched so tight that his teeth might crack. For a long minute, he didn’t do or say anything. He just stared at me, his eyes on my face like he was cataloging every inch of it so he’d remember what I looked like for years to come.
Good. Say goodbye, Carter. You’ll never see me again. Very few people will.
“This isn’t goodbye,” he whispered hoarsely before the chair scraped again and he stood up. “I’ll call Bart, but I’ll be seeing you very soon. I’m not giving up this easily. I’ll make a way if I can’t find one, remember?”
He held my gaze for another beat before he turned around and marched out of my room. I wondered if he knew he was taking my heart with him. Although I’d ordered him away, more than once even, I hated watching him go.
Dropping The Ball: A New Year’s Billionaire Romance Page 18