The Machine

by Stephanie Julian

  “Yes, I had good game. Maybe next one will not be so good. But I will keep trying. Like you. You never gave up though I know some doctors told you you would never walk again.”

  Surprise made her eyebrows rise. “How—”

  “I asked Bliss.” And he didn’t look at all embarrassed about it. “Your friends are very protective of you. And very proud. Bliss made it clear you never gave up trying to walk. Even when doctors said you wouldn’t.”

  “Did she also tell you that the only reason I wanted to walk again was to walk down the aisle at my wedding? And that my fiancé never showed up?”

  “No.” His expression hardened and she’d seen that expression before. When he was on the ice. “That man was obvious asshole and you should be glad you are rid of him.”

  Jake’s straightforward delivery made her smile. And then laugh. She knew she was probably drawing attention to them but she didn’t really care right now.

  All of Jake’s attention was focused on her and, for the moment, she was enjoying it.

  “You’re right. I am glad. But he wasn’t always an asshole. Before the accident, he was—”

  “Less asshole.” He shrugged. “Maybe.”

  She opened her mouth to argue but closed it before she said something she didn’t mean.

  “Okay, maybe he was kind of an asshole. But he did love me. He asked me to marry him.”

  “Because he knew you were strong woman. Decent woman.”

  Shaking her head, she huffed out another laugh. “You make me sound like someone’s great-aunt. Or their dog. Loyal. Dependable. Always there for them.”

  His mouth twitched into what looked like a grin but as he shook his head, his expression became way more serious.

  “I do not consider you dog.”

  “Well, gee, thanks. That’s good to know. But you are saying I have bad taste in men, right?”

  He paused for a second, as if trying to choose the right words.

  “I am telling you, you need to find man who appreciates you. Not for what you can’t do but for what you can.”

  It was so not what she’d been expecting to hear that her lips parted again as she searched for words. And this time, the only thing she could think to say was, “Thank you.”

  He shrugged, but she wasn’t sure he moved a muscle. It was more a feeling.

  “No thanks necessary. I speak what I believe.”

  While she was still processing what he’d said, he turned to respond to something one of the guys had said.

  And she sat there with her brain spinning in all different directions.

  What the hell just happened?

  Chapter Three

  “You looked good tonight, man. We’re damn glad to have you back.”

  Will leaned forward against the table, having to raise his voice a little to be heard over the rest of the conversations going on around them. But he didn’t yell. Will rarely raised his voice.

  Jake leaned forward as well. “Is good to be back. I missed it.”

  And by “it,” he meant everything about the game. He’d missed the ice under his blades, the burn of his muscles after a good practice, the sound of the crowd cheering. Hell, even the occasional booing was more welcome than the silence of skating by himself to get his legs back in shape.

  “You and I worked well together tonight,” Will’s grin turned rueful, “but I know I’m no Lad.”

  Not wanting to go there, Jake shook his head. “We did do well. We’ll get better.”

  “Yes, we will. Your upper body strength has increased significantly. Your slapshot has a hell of a lot more speed to it now.”

  “I was able to work on that when I could not skate.”

  “At least you put your down time to good use.”

  Yes, he had. That was the only thing good to come out of rehab. Not being able to work out his legs, he’d spent one hell of a lot of time on his arms. And that, at least, had paid off.

  At least his legs didn’t give out on him like Faith’s did sometimes.

  “Dude, you must’ve put on, like, twenty pounds of muscle,” CJ piped in from next to Will. “I wanna work out with you.”

  Will huffed out a laugh. “You put on twenty pounds of muscle and you won’t be able to skate, kid.”

  CJ shook his head, grinning, and shot back with a comment. As the conversation rolled on, Jake nodded at the appropriate points, added commentary when he was expected, and tried to be his normal self.

  But mostly, he listened while his mind obsessed over his recent fascination with the woman sitting next to him.

  He wasn’t sure when it had happened. He wasn’t even sure why it was happening.

  She wasn’t the typical puck-bunny type he normally went for. She wasn’t young and blonde and only talked about drinking and hockey and having a good time while sharpening her innuendo skills to score another notch on her bedpost or the ultimate goal—a professional player boyfriend.

  No, there were scars on Faith’s heart that she hid as successfully as she hid the ones on her body.

  He knew the basics of what had happened to her. Knew her former fiancé had been driving when a drunk t-boned his car on the passenger side. Where Faith had been sitting. She’d been paralyzed from the waist down and told she would probably never walk again.

  Faith had proven them wrong.

  He had no idea how long she had been in therapy but he knew it had been longer than the six months he had been going. During the time their therapy had overlapped, he’d never once heard her complain. Yes, she’d shed some tears but he’d never heard her say she couldn’t do something.

  And there had been days she couldn’t. Days her legs just wouldn’t or couldn’t cooperate.

  Even then, she hadn’t bitched or moaned about the injustice of her life.

  He knew she had cried more times than he could count, but she’d always done it silently. And then she’d huffed out a sigh, wiped her tears, and gotten back to therapy.

  She’d inspired him to keep going more days than he would admit. And he’d never once told her how much he admired her.

  At first, he hadn’t been sure how to even approach the subject. For a man who wasn’t intimidated by much of anything life could throw at him, she intimidated him.

  And he didn’t mean that in a bad way.

  Before he’d seen Faith in action, he’d never met a woman who made him sit up and take notice of her strength. She’d seemed so strong. Like she knew what she wanted to do and she’d do whatever she needed to make it happen.

  He knew a hell of a lot of men who had a natural gift for the game but never pushed themselves to be better.

  Faith had had her ability to walk taken away from her and she’d never stopped fighting to regain it.

  She was fucking amazing and he admired the hell out of her.

  So why the hell had he never told her?

  Good question.

  One he refused to consider closely.

  Because…priorities.

  He had priorities. A plan.

  And a raging case of desire for a woman he didn’t want to get involved with because there was no future for it.

  But there could be some really hot sex.

  “Hey, I’m sorry to bug you, but…could you give me a hand up?”

  The words slipped through his defenses on a soft breath of air that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

  He turned to answer and found himself caught in the golden brown of her eyes. Pretty eyes. Not remarkable, but for him, they represented something he hadn’t been expecting to deal with.

  An attraction to a woman he couldn’t want.

  “Of course.”

  He stood immediately and took the hand she held out to him. He watched her look at his hand, her pretty face set in stubborn lines. Pretty, yes. Not beautiful. But that didn’t mean he liked her less because of that.

  Her features were delicate. Brown eyes slightly tilted at the corners, nose ending in a point. And her no
rmally full lips were drawn into a tight line right now.

  From pain or anger that she couldn’t do this herself, he didn’t know.

  A second later, her teeth dug into her bottom lip and she gripped his hand as she let him help her stand.

  As soon as she was on her feet, though, she released him and stood by herself for a second before stepping out around him and heading toward the bar.

  He had to stop himself from following her, wanting to make sure she didn’t fall. She wasn’t foolish enough to jeopardize herself by not asking for more help.

  Still, he kept an eye on her as she stopped at the bar, where Sophie and a couple of the other women had gathered.

  He watched her slide onto the barstool next to Jess as Sophie slid her a glass of water, watched her take a little box out of her purse and open it, then take a pill out and pop it in her mouth.

  So her leg was hurting worse than she let on. A body slid into the seat Faith had just vacated and Jake looked up to find Brody Mitchell, his new roommate, next to him.

  The newest Redtails defenseman had been sent down from the Colonials to rehab and was making one hell of an impact on the first line with Justin.

  “So what’s the deal? You have a claim there or what?”

  Brody Mitchell was a big guy. Six-foot-five and at least two hundred twenty pounds, all of it solid muscle.

  Jake didn’t have the guy’s bulk but if Brody so much as made a wrong move toward Faith, he’d punch him so hard, he’d lose all those nice, original teeth.

  Turning to face Brody, Jake shook his head.

  “But she is not someone you will mess with.”

  Jake didn’t know Brody well, but he was pretty sure the guy was silently laughing at him.

  Brody held up a hand, shaking his head. “Not trying to poach, dude. Just wanted to know how things stand.”

  “There are no things to stand.”

  Now Brody did laugh. “Good to know. But you might want to tone it down if you wanna sell that to anyone else.”

  Jake stared back at Brody with a look Lad would have recognized. And laughed at.

  Brody shook his head but didn’t say anything else. Lad wouldn’t have let him get away with that.

  Guess it’s a good thing Lad’s not here.

  Damn it, he missed his friend. Lad would know what to say to get his brain back on the right track.

  Because right now, it was all the hell over the place. This thing with Faith was fucking with his head. And yet…

  He glanced over his shoulder to where she sat with the women at the bar.

  She smiled up at Sophie, who was waving her hands in the air and talking, while the other women laughed and shook their heads.

  Her smile looked tired. And there was definite fatigue around her eyes. Not that she looked bad. He didn’t think Faith ever looked bad.

  Shit.

  Dragging his attention away from what he refused to allow to become an obsession, he found Will staring at him from across the table.

  When Will lifted his eyebrows as he brought his glass to his mouth, Jake deliberately held his stare, which just made Will grin and shake his head as he put his glass down.

  “So you’re finished with therapy?”

  Jake considered not answering the question. He knew Will was fishing and he was about to tell him off when Faith suddenly stood, steadying herself against the bar.

  He was on his feet a second later, headed for her. He didn’t give a shit what was said behind his back. They could talk all they wanted. Didn’t mean a damn thing.

  “Are you okay?”

  She looked up at him and now he saw the quick flare of surprise that quickly turned to something he couldn’t easily read.

  “I’m good.” Her voice had that calm tone he recognized from therapy. “Thank you. Just a little tired.”

  “Are you leaving?”

  Her eyes narrowed for a second before her head cocked to the side, and now she looked at him with open contemplation.

  “I was planning to. It’s been a long day.”

  “I will walk you to your car.”

  Her lips pursed and he wondered if she was angry with him for not asking if he could accompany her.

  He realized a second later that she was trying not to smile.

  “You’re really bossy, you know that, right?”

  He didn’t answer. He assumed she didn’t need him to. So he simply stared at her with raised eyebrows, waiting for her to start moving. He knew sometimes it could take her a while to get going. He knew that because he watched her more than he would admit.

  When he stayed silent, she huffed out a sigh and grabbed her purse off the bar.

  “Fine. You want to walk me out, I don’t have a problem with that.” Then she smacked her purse against his chest. “Maybe you can carry this for me while you’re at it.”

  He took the large, bright pink bag without a word. Carrying a purse didn’t scare him. He’d held his mother’s more times than he could remember and had never once felt less of a man for it. His mom had carried the weight of their small family on her shoulders. Carrying her purse and making sure his younger brother didn’t run away while she’d carried groceries up three flights of stairs to their apartment in Chomotuv had never once crossed his mind as being unmanly. It was something he did to make her life easier.

  This was something he did so Faith wouldn’t hurt herself on the way to her car.

  Which was ridiculous because she took care of herself every other day without you.

  He dismissed that thought as unimportant and continued to wait for her.

  Instead, she stood there and stared at him.

  Behind her, he saw Sophie lean against the bar, watching them with open interest. So were Vivi and Jess, though Jess was at least trying to be discreet about it.

  Again, he didn’t care. Being the center of attention had never been a problem for him. Cheering crowds only gave him fuel.

  He didn’t think Faith was as comfortable being in the spotlight, which would work in his favor in this situation.

  He saw her lips flatten and let his gaze drop to her mouth. That mouth gave him ideas. None of which he had any intention of following through on. But, for a few seconds, he let himself wonder.

  What would happen if he kissed her?

  Maybe you should ask yourself what you would do after you kissed her.

  With the same focus he’d used to get himself through the past nine months, he raised his gaze and met hers again.

  Surprise flared in her eyes though he wasn’t sure if she knew what he was thinking. Obviously, she could tell where his attention had been focused. But it was a good thing she couldn’t read his mind.

  He hadn’t been a saint since coming to the states to play. He’d dated, with the only intention being sex. Every encounter before his injury, he’d been sure to make it clear to his partner that one night was all she could expect.

  After his injury, he’d used sex to take his mind off the uncertainty of his future.

  In the past couple of months… There hadn’t been sex. He’d used every ounce of his energy to get himself back on the ice and back to the team.

  It’d worked. He’d made it. And now…

  She blinked and dropped his gaze. “I’m ready.”

  Two beats of his heart later and he took a step to the side and waved her in front of him.

  “After you.”

  She didn’t move right away, just stood there and stared at him. As if waiting for him to leave.

  Which wasn’t happening without her.

  After a few seconds, she huffed and walked by him.

  He ignored the look Sophie gave him. And Vivi’s wide grin.

  Following Faith to the door, he stopped for a second to tell Derek he was leaving. Derek stared up at him with a question forming on his lips before he caught sight of Faith headed for the door, a few feet ahead of him.

  Derek got a shit-eating grin on his face that Jake would have considere
d wiping off with an elbow to the face.

  Not that he would ever hit a teammate. Not even if the smart-ass deserved it.

  “No problem. I’m sure you’re tired after your first night back. You are getting kind of old.”

  “You are actually older than me, asshole.”

  Derek cackled like a loon then nodded his head toward the door.

  “Better get going. She’s running away from you.”

  He turned and found Faith with her hand on the door handle. Ready to slip out without him.

  Why that was a problem for him, he refused to examine.

  He closed the distance between them with a couple of long strides and caught up to her just before she was about to shut the door.

  He caught the door before it closed and grinned as she glared up at him when he stood next to her.

  She huffed out a sigh as he closed the door behind him.

  “I told you, I’m perfectly capable of walking to my car by myself. I’m not an—”

  She stopped, shook her head and swallowed hard, her gaze dropping to the ground.

  He knew exactly what she had been going to say. And he knew why it made her mouth flatten into a line.

  “No, you are not an invalid. That does not mean you do not need help sometimes.”

  Her head popped up and her frustration blazed in her dark eyes. Those eyes captured his entire interest. Yes, she was beautiful. No, he could not have her.

  Then what the hell are you doing?

  “But I was.” Her words held a slightly bitter edge. “And I never want to feel like that again. I don’t need you to treat me like one.”

  “I don’t think you are invalid so I don’t treat you like one. You should know this by now.”

  Her eyes widened, and he liked watching the frustration leave her expression and amusement replace it.

  “Know what, exactly? I don’t really know anything about you. Why are you suddenly so interested in me getting to my car? I don’t need a hand or a shoulder or whatever. And I especially don’t need your pity.”

  He wasn’t offering pity. He wasn’t offering anything other than a hand. He wasn’t going to seduce her into his bed. He wasn’t ready for a committed relationship, and a woman like Faith deserved one. After what her ex-fiancé had done, she didn’t deserve to be played with.