The Machine

by Stephanie Julian

  “And you’re calling me…why?”

  Faith sighed as she let herself fall back onto her bed to stare at the ceiling.

  “Because—oh hell, I don’t know what to wear.”

  Now Bliss didn’t bother to hide her laughter, making Faith run her hand over her gritty eyes.

  “I knew this was a mistake. I’m just going to call him and tell him to come into the office tomorrow afternoon. I don’t know why I didn’t just—”

  “Faith. Stop. No, you will not call and cancel. Why would you? It’s just dinner, right? To talk about what he’s going to do with your kids. Unless there’s something else going on that you’re not telling me.”

  She thought about her answer to that for just a few seconds too long.

  “Faith? Is there something else going on?”

  “No. Of course not. What would be going on?”

  “Well, the guy is kind of a hottie.”

  “Kind of” was an understatement but she didn’t want to give Bliss any more fuel. Which was stupid because she’d called Bliss to talk about Jake.

  “Ugh.” Faith rubbed at her eyes even hard. “Yes, he is. I think that’s part of the problem.”

  “Why is that a problem?”

  “Because I don’t want to be attracted to him.”

  “So you are attracted to him.”

  “I think you’d have to be dead to not be attracted to Jake.”

  “I guess. If you like that whole cold, eastern European thing.”

  Bliss sounded way too nonchalant, and Faith took the bait, even though she knew she shouldn’t have.

  “He’s not cold.”

  “Really? Sounds like maybe you know more about him than you’re letting on.”

  “I don’t. I really don’t know that much about him. But he insisted on going out to dinner tonight and now I can’t cancel without him thinking I’m a coward.”

  “Well, if the shoe fits…”

  “You’re not helping.”

  Bliss’s laughter rang out. “I have no idea what you want me to help you with. Do you want me to tell you to cancel? You know that’s not going to happen. You haven’t been out with a guy in years. It’s time. Hell, even if you just use this as practice for the next guy, it’s worth it. Just go and have a good time. You deserve it.”

  “But it’s Jake. Wasn’t it you who told me he’s not the kind of guy you dated?”

  “So don’t date him. Have dinner, take him home, screw his brains out, and get it out of your system.”

  “Right. And then have to see him at the academy for weeks? No way.”

  Bliss huffed out a loud sigh. “Do you maybe wanna tell me what’s really going on here? Why’d you really call?”

  “Okay, I know this sounds stupid but…he’s been nice to me and I can’t figure out what he wants.”

  Bliss went silent and Faith thought maybe she’d lost the connection.

  “Bliss?”

  “Yeah, I’m still here. I’m just… Why is it hard for you to believe a man might want to have dinner with you?”

  “You know that’s not what I meant. I just can’t figure out why this guy would want to have dinner with me.”

  “Maybe because he wants to get to know you better. I mean, that kind of seems like a no-brainer to me.”

  The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she bit them back because she knew exactly what Bliss would say in response. But she couldn’t help thinking them.

  Why would that hunk of man meat want to get to know her better?

  She knew what she looked like. She was pretty. She’d dated from the time she’d been fifteen. She’d never lacked for a boyfriend and she’d never felt “less than” until the accident. So maybe she did have a bit of a chip on her shoulder about her mobility.

  Yes, she knew her disability might put some people off. It put her off. As someone who’d been an athlete all of her life, to have that taken away made her look at things differently. Made her question things.

  Like why would a man like Jake want to have anything to do with someone like her? Someone broken.

  “Faith? Do you want this to be more than just dinner to talk about his volunteer work?”

  “Honestly? I’m not sure. And what if that’s all he wants and I…want more?”

  “Then I guess you’ll just have to make him think naughty thoughts.”

  Faith sighed, finally asking the one question she really wanted an answer to.

  “So what should I wear?”

  *****

  Jake had arrived five minutes before Faith was supposed to show up.

  He tried to tell himself he was early because he hadn’t wanted to sit around the apartment and kill time. But really, he knew it was because he didn’t want her to have to wait for him. And possibly give her a reason to leave.

  So he took a seat in the lobby, one with a view of the door, crossed his right ankle over his left knee, and waited.

  A couple of minutes later, Faith appeared.

  She didn’t see him right away, though she didn’t appear to be looking. Instead, she set her cane against the wall next to the coat rack and took off her jacket.

  Beautiful.

  She’d let her silky brown hair loose tonight, and it spilled halfway down her back as she reached for a hanger for her coat. Her profile was all soft angles. It made him want to run his fingers down them to see if her skin was as soft.

  Her body was full of curves. Breasts, ass, hips. Soft.

  His fingers curled involuntarily against the desire to touch her. Run his hands along her skin, cup her naked breasts, put his hands on her ass and bring her naked body against his.

  Guess you’re giving up on the idea that you don’t really want her.

  Shit, that idea had gone out the window the second he’d seen her enter the restaurant.

  He didn’t like to lie, especially to himself. So yeah, he wanted her. The question now became, how did he go about it.

  A relationship with her was destined to end. He wouldn’t be in Reading forever. Eventually, he’d either get called up, get traded, or sign with another team. This position was merely a stepping-stone. This team was not the end destination.

  And that drive to be better, to go higher, it wasn’t going to end.

  She turned at that moment and caught sight of him.

  Her lips curved in a smile that made his gut clench before she tempered it. Which made him want her smile even more.

  And that really didn’t help him solve the problem of what to do about this attraction between them.

  He stood but stayed where he was and let her come to him. He had a feeling she would’ve been offended if he’d run to her side and taken her arm, like he wanted to do.

  She didn’t look unsteady but he remembered watching her fall one day at therapy and feeling helpless as she sat on the ground, shaking her head. Her therapist had immediately been beside her, telling her to take her time, but he’d known if she sat there for long, she was going to cry. And he didn’t want to see her cry. Not ever.

  So he’d walked over and stuck his hand in her face, daring her to take it. To let him help her up.

  She had.

  “Hello, Faith.”

  Finally she stood in front of him, her head tilted back so she could look into his eyes.

  “Hi. Hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”

  “I only arrived a few minutes ago. I have not checked in yet.” He motioned to the elevator to the right, wondering if she’d fight him. “We can go up now.”

  He wasn’t disappointed when she did.

  “I’m perfectly capable of taking the stairs.” Her nose crinkled as if she’d smelled something bad, making him want to smile again. “My therapist is always telling me the more I use my legs, the better they get.”

  “I understand. But you don’t need to push all the time.”

  She started up the stairs, cane in hand though she didn’t use it.

  “Actually, yes, I do. If I hadn’t, I’d
still be stuck in that damn chair.”

  Since he couldn’t argue with that, he followed her up the stairs, watching her carefully for any hint of weakness. He wouldn’t allow her to fall, not while he was with her. If he had to, he’d lift her in his arms, carry her up the stairs, and deal with her anger later.

  They made it to the top without incident and were settled into their table seconds later. Tuesday night in late January wasn’t prime dining out night, apparently, if the number of tables occupied was any indication.

  Suited him fine. He liked the quiet atmosphere. Made it more intimate. More like a date. Which it was, even if she didn’t know it yet.

  After the waitress had been by to take their drink orders—beer for him, water for Faith—she perused the menu for several seconds before realizing he was watching her.

  Her gaze popped up from the menu and her head tilted to the left. “Is something wrong?”

  He waited a beat before responding. “No.”

  Her gaze narrowed. “Then why are you staring?”

  “Because I like looking at you.”

  Her cheeks flashed bright red. He didn’t think it was anger, but with Faith, he was probably wrong.

  “I thought we were here to talk about you volunteering with the kids.”

  “And we will. Does that mean I am not allowed to look at you?”

  Her eyes widened. “Yes, that’s exactly what it means.”

  He grinned and watched her gaze slip down to his mouth.

  “Too bad. You will just have to deal with me.”

  She appeared to be mulling over a response to that but, whatever she came up with, she must have decided to keep to herself.

  “I’m starting to wonder if you’re worth the hassle, Mr. Mozik.”

  She said his name perfect. Most Americans didn’t. They hardened the Z. Now, he wanted to hear her say his full first name. Jakub. No one used it here. He only ever heard it when he talked to his mom and brother.

  One step at a time.

  “I believe you will find that I am.”

  Her lips twitched, like maybe she was going to smile. Her eyes appeared to brighten. Or maybe he was reading something that wasn’t there and she only found him annoying.

  She put down the menu but continued to stare at him.

  “You’re really very sure of yourself. Some people might call you cocky.”

  “You say that like it is bad.”

  “Some might say it’s a bad thing.”

  He shrugged. “I prefer to think of it as confidence.”

  Her eyebrows rose and the look she gave him made his cock twitch.

  “If you have the skill to back it up, I guess it doesn’t matter what people say.”

  Very true.

  But she’d managed to hit on the one subject that made his belief in himself falter.

  “I am no longer sure I have the skill.”

  Her eyes widened as the bald uncertainty behind his statement sank in.

  Silence fell for several seconds while he watched her dissect his words then formulate a response. Which she was saved from saying by the waitress, who returned with their drinks.

  Before Faith could order, he asked the waitress to give them a few more minutes, ordered a couple of appetizers, and asked if she wanted anything to start.

  When she shook her head, the waitress disappeared again.

  Yes, he was hungry, but he also wanted to extend his time with Faith for as long as he could.

  “Have you been here before?” he asked when she continued to stare at him and not the menu.

  “Yes. What do you mean, you no longer have the skill? I saw you on the ice the other night. You played like you’d never been away.”

  So she’d watched him. Good to know.

  “Thank you. I appreciate the words of encouragement. But being off the ice for almost nine months took a toll.”

  “Well, I didn’t see any loss of skill.” She dropped her gaze back to the menu, but not before she stopped to look at his chest. “And you certainly don’t look like you’ve been missing out on your gym workouts.”

  “That is because I used the downtime to work on upper body strength.”

  “Well, you nailed that.”

  Her voice dropped almost to a whisper, but he still heard exactly what she’d said. Now he let his smile spread and linger. And continued to stare at her.

  So damn pretty. He’d met more beautiful women. Most of them had the cold personality to go along with their cool beauty. As an elite player back home, he’d never had a shortage of dates. He’d been fifteen when the first woman had stuffed a keycard and a slip of paper in his pocket at the hotel his team was staying at for a tournament. He’d known what she’d wanted.

  It’d gotten worse as he’d gotten older. And when he’d moved to the states after being drafted, the women had gotten bolder and he hadn’t seen any reason not to take what they offered.

  Weekends in Philadelphia during training camp with the big club had meant a different pool of women to choose from. During the season, here in Reading, the pool was smaller but no less varied.

  However, bedding different women every week became boring. And the past nine months had been free from distractions.

  Except for this woman.

  “You’re staring.” She didn’t bother to look up from the menu. “Is there something you want to say to me?”

  Yes, he had many things he wanted to say to her. Not many of them he thought she would want to hear. At least, not yet.

  “Have you decided what to order?”

  “Why? Do you want to choose what I eat, too?”

  His grin returned. “Should I? Are you having trouble deciding?”

  She took a breath and released it on a huff, which just made his grin widen. He didn’t bother to hide it when she lifted her gaze to his.

  “Are you deliberately trying to make me crazy?”

  “If I am, is it working?”

  He could tell she didn’t know whether to throw up her hands in frustration or laugh at him. She settled for something in between.

  Shaking her head, she put down the menu and gave him a frustrated, confused look that just made his smile wider.

  “Why are we here? What are we doing?”

  He knew exactly how he wanted to answer that but wasn’t sure she was ready to hear it. So for the time being, he decided to let her off the hook. No more teasing. Well, maybe much less teasing.

  “We are here to discuss your program for the children. So let us do that.”

  *****

  Faith stared at Jake, determined to figure out what he was up to.

  She couldn’t tell if the man was flirting with her for a reason or if this was just his personality and he flirted with every woman he met. The latter was more likely, but the first made her heart beat a little faster.

  And that made her brain stutter because she couldn’t decide if she was delusional or stupid.

  “Tell me about the program, Faith.”

  Damn him for saying her name. His voice, that accent, did something to her nervous system. It made her jittery and jumpy. And hot.

  And when he stared into her eyes like he was now…

  Shit.

  So she told him about the program. She spoke from memory, having been pitching this program to everyone she could find who might be able to help her get it off the ground.

  She’d finally been able to scrape together enough money from donations and grants to get it going, and now that she no longer needed to sell it, she didn’t know what exactly to say. Because the man across from her had managed to scramble her brains.

  As she laid out the framework, she had the feeling he dissected every word.

  Her goal was to use different sports to teach different parts of the curriculum and to use actual athletes to supplement the teachers’ curriculum by having experts teach them the games.

  She figured she’d start slow, have one or two athletes come in once a week until the teachers
determined whether it was helping or hurting. Most of the students had huge trouble with change. They needed structure, so additions and substitutions to their schedules were agonized over by teachers, parents, and students.

  “How many students are in the school and how big are classes?”

  “Right now, we have almost three hundred students. Class size ranges from eight to fifteen.”

  His eyebrows rose in surprise. “That is good size. Not too big.”

  It was her turn to be surprised. “True. But how do you know that?”

  He didn’t answer right away and enough time passed that she wondered if he was going to. Finally, he leaned back into his chair, looking more relaxed than he had a minute ago.

  “My brother has Down syndrome. His school has overcrowding problem, same as many schools here.”

  She felt her heart soften. “How old is he?”

  “Almost seventeen. I hope one day to bring him and my mother to states. More opportunities.”

  “Are you close?”

  Another pause.

  “Yes.”

  She waited for him to say more and, when he didn’t, wondered if he didn’t want to talk about his brother.

  Screw it.

  “What’s his name?”

  He didn’t hesitate. “Denis.”

  “Do you miss him?”

  “Yes.”

  He paused again and she waited for him to shrug and say it didn’t matter. Be the big tough guy.

  “He has always been my best friend. More than my brother. Our age gap is wide but, to me, he is always the person I want to see. You understand?”

  She had to blink back sudden tears at the emotion in his voice.

  “Yes. I understand. Family is more important than anything. But they can also be a chain that ties you down.”

  His gaze narrowed. “You have issues with this?”

  She paused, considering just how much to say. And then the words tumbled out anyway. “After the accident, my parents were amazing. My mom barely left my side. And after the wedding that never was, they were my rock. I spent a couple weeks wallowing in self-pity.”

  She didn’t like to think about those couple of weeks. She’d felt like such a complete failure. She hadn’t gone to rehab. She hadn’t left her parents’ house. It was why her mom still worried, even after all this time.