Yes, that’s exactly what he’d expected her to say.
“Does it ever get to be more than you can handle?”
She thought about that for a few seconds before shaking her head again. “No. In the end, it’s always worth it. These kids have it hard enough already. Me jumping through a few hoops is a small price to pay. Although sometimes, I still want to smack whoever created some of the forms I have to fill out. It’s almost like they deliberately make them impossible just to torture me.”
“And yet you do. I wouldn’t have the patience.”
Her eyebrows rose. “I don’t believe that. I’ve never seen you quit. Not in all the time we spent in rehab together. I never heard you say you were done.”
“I knew I was not going to quit. That was not an option.”
He could tell she wanted to ask him something. Instead she dropped her gaze to her plate and began to eat again.
The silence felt easier this time, not uncomfortable. But the question she had wanted to ask him must have continued to bother her.
Finally, she set her fork on her plate and sat back in her chair. She did a little readjustment, as if she were uncomfortable, and he searched her expression for any hint of it. When he didn’t find one, he kept his mouth shut and waited for her to say what she wanted to say.
“What would you have done if you couldn’t play?”
He opened his mouth to give her his standard answer. That he would not have allowed that to happen. But that was bullshit and he knew it. He didn’t want to bullshit her.
“I forced myself not to think about it. I could not allow myself to think about it. If I cannot play, I would have to return home and I cannot let that happen. I need to get my citizenship so I can bring my mother and brother here. There is not enough opportunity for my brother in Czech Republic as there is here. We have plan for if anything happens to our mother while I am here, but we work to get them as soon as possible.”
“Is your mom unwell?”
“She has asthma and her lungs are not as healthy as they should be. She wasn’t able to take care of herself like she should have when we were young. She put Denis and me first and because I was too focused on myself, I didn’t realize she was ill.”
“That’s not your fault.”
“I understand that here.” He touched his temple. Then he shrugged as the familiar guilt burned a hole in gut. “But not here.”
He touched the center of his chest and watched her gaze follow his hand before flashing back up to his. She took a deep breath and swallowed before giving a nearly imperceptible shake of her head.
And he ruthlessly throttled the grin that wanted to spread across his lips.
No matter how much she might pretend otherwise, she wasn’t immune to him. He wanted to declare victory and insist she agree to another date. But he was not a stupid man. And his mother would smack the back of his head if he merely presumed Faith would give in and give him what he wanted. Which was her.
No, she would require work and patience.
Watching her watch him, he knew it would be worth whatever he needed to do to make this happen.
“Your mom sounds like an amazing woman.”
“She is. She would like you.”
Another hint of blush in her cheeks. “I hope I get to meet her someday.”
“Hopefully you will. She wanted to come last year but when I was injured…”
He hadn’t wanted her to see him then. Not that he hadn’t wanted to see her and his brother. It was all he’d thought about some nights when he couldn’t sleep. But—
“It would have been hard for her to leave you when you were depressed and injured.” She smiled softly, her shoulder lifting in a shrug as if to apologize for reading his mind. “My mom has been my biggest cheerleader since the accident and sometimes…”
He waited for several seconds but when it didn’t appear that she would continue, he prompted, “Sometimes what?”
She thought for a few more seconds then shook her head. “I love my mom. She’s my best friend and my biggest champion. And sometimes she can seem like…the greatest weight around my neck.” She shut her eyes immediately. “God, that sounds awful. I can’t believe I said that.”
When she opened her eyes, he reached across the table and wrapped his hand around the fist she had made next to her plate. Her balled hand fit completely inside his, small and tight and warm.
He curled his hand around hers for several long seconds until finally she relaxed it and let it lay flat on the table.
She looked down at their hands before looking up into his eyes again. And she didn’t move her hand away, which made him fiercely happy.
“It does not sound awful. It sounds as if your mother loves you but has forgotten that you are stronger than you look.”
“And maybe I let her take care of me even when I knew I should be taking care of myself.”
“You don’t always have to take care of yourself. Sometimes you need people to help.”
Her eyes widened and she gave him a disbelieving look. “And do you take your own advice?”
He heard the sass in her voice and grinned back at her. “I don’t need to take my own advice. I know this.”
“Oh, really? And who do you ask for help when you need some?”
“My team.”
Her brows rose. “Oh, yeah? Then why do they say you’re a stubborn SOB who won’t let them give you a hand when you need it?”
He grinned and watched her gaze drop to his lips. And while he loved the way she looked at him as if she wanted to kiss him, he realized he, too, was staring at her with the very same expression.
He wiped it away a split second before she looked up again and caught him. He didn’t want to play his hand too soon. Needed to get her to trust him a little more before he made his next move.
So as she looked up, he pulled his hand away.
And changed the subject.
*****
An hour later, Faith’s stomach fluttered like a teenager on her first real date as Jake walked her to her car.
She told herself to knock it off. That she was embarrassing herself. And still she couldn’t get herself to stop. All because of him.
Jake had taken her arm as they crossed the street. He hadn’t asked if she needed help. Probably because he knew she would’ve said no. Which would’ve been stupid because, yes, her damn leg hurt.
So she let him help her. And tried not to enjoy it so damn much.
He had her all worked up and for absolutely no reason.
After the conversation about his mom and her admission about her feelings, he’d purposely steered the conversation away from heavier subjects. They’d talked about sports, but they’d talked more about soccer than they did about hockey when he found out she’d played.
Another thing she missed. Like running. She really missed running. It’d been her major form of stress relief and now that she couldn’t, she missed it like hell.
But then he’d said he had no doubt she’d be playing again soon and, just like that, she’d felt like she could run a marathon.
Argh. She was being ridiculous. Completely and utterly ridiculous.
This…whatever this attraction was between them wasn’t going anywhere.
She couldn’t let it go anywhere. She didn’t have the time, or the mental strength, to have anything to do with this man other than professionally.
Yeah, but you want to.
Glancing up at him as they walked in silence, she tried not to let her heart skip any more beats than it already had tonight, but that was a losing battle.
They reached her car faster than she’d anticipated and now they stood facing one another. This close, she had to tilt her head back farther than she’d expected. This close, she could tell just how very blue those mesmerizing eyes were.
Go ahead. Just do it.
Yeah, right. There was no way in hell she was going to embarrass herself by leaning forward and kissing him. Even if she really wanted to.
<
br /> And she really wanted to.
How had that happened?
When he didn’t immediately say anything, she sucked in a breath of cold air and prepared to say good night, get in her car, and drive away.
And chalk this all up to some weird Mercury retrograde or something.
Then he opened his mouth.
“I want to see you again.”
Her heart started to race and she bit her tongue to stop herself from rushing to answer.
“I’m pretty sure we’re going to be seeing each other at the school on a regular basis.”
His brows rose in a way that let her know he wasn’t buying her bullshit answer. And it was bullshit.
“You are very good at pushing people away.”
That one struck a nerve. “And you’re very good at pissing people off.”
He shrugged. “I have gift. I want to take you out for dinner again. Thursday night. We leave Friday for road trip.”
She wanted to say yes. God, she wanted to say yes.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We’re going to be working together. I’m not sure dating and working together are a good fit.”
“But I believe we could be good fit.”
Yes, we would probably fit together very well. In and out of bed.
Damn it. That’s not what she should be thinking about. Not at all. But for a woman who hadn’t had sex in six months, that’s all she could think about now.
“Come on another date with me, Faith.”
She opened her mouth to say no but the words wouldn’t form. And as the silence between them dragged on, her desire to say yes built.
What would it hurt to say yes?
He’s not the right guy for you.
That insistent little voice in her head wouldn’t shut up.
“I don’t…” She shook her head. “No. Thank you, but… No.”
When he didn’t react right away, she wondered if he was going to press her on it, try to change her mind.
Do you want him to?
After a few seconds, he nodded, and she released the breath she’d been holding. And ignored the ache in her gut.
“If that is your answer, I will agree.” He paused. “For now.”
She should say something. Should tell him that would be her answer if he asked her another hundred times.
She didn’t. Couldn’t. Whatever.
So she let him open her car door for her, and when she got in, he closed the door and she drove away.
Cursing him the whole way for making her think she’d made the wrong decision.
Chapter Six
“You are so good with the kids, Jake. We can’t thank you enough for agreeing to volunteer with us for this program.”
“Is not a problem. I enjoy working them.”
“Well, we’re thrilled to have you. And the students haven’t stopped talking about you.”
As the school superintendent continued to talk about how much the students had enjoyed having him in their classes today, Jake kept one eye on Faith.
He hadn’t seen her for almost a week, since their dinner, when she’d told him she wouldn’t date him. He’d let her run that night.
But he’d considered his next move ever since.
The next day, he’d thought about calling her and telling her he wanted to discuss the students. Not a lie, but not the only reason.
He’d decided against it, figuring he’d give her a day or two to think about him. And think about his offer.
Thursday, he thought he’d text her to find out when she was going to email him the information for the program. An hour later, the email had appeared as if by magic. He’d thought about emailing her back to ask to see her so they could go over it, but that would’ve made him appear stupid because her instructions had been thorough and to the point.
Friday night, he’d gotten dinner with a few of the guys and had a good night’s sleep in preparation for the seven-hour bus trip to Canada the next morning.
They’d kicked Toronto’s ass Saturday night then got their asses handed to them the next day in Wilkes-Barre before getting back on the bus for the drive home.
He’d spent most of the time on the bus thinking about her. And looking forward to seeing her today.
They hadn’t had any time alone, but the superintendent finally appeared to be winding down and Jake planned to steal her away for a few minutes alone.
He’d had a great time with the kids. He’d visited four classrooms, interacted with about forty students of varying abilities.
The first class he’d walked into, none of the kids had appeared disabled. But Jake knew that didn’t mean anything. Appearances were almost always deceiving when dealing with disabilities of any kind. That class had been nonverbal.
The next class had all been physically disabled in some way. One student had been missing part of his left arm. Another had had his leg amputated below the knee. All had mental disabilities, as well.
That class had been more challenging but no less rewarding when they’d grasped the concepts of how a team worked together to achieve a goal.
Faith had been in every class. Always in the background, quietly watching.
He’d appreciated having her there, even while he gave his full attention to the kids.
But now, he wanted to transfer his attention to Faith. If only the superintendent would leave them alone.
“Mr. Hillman, I’m really sorry but I need to steal Mr. Mozik for a few seconds before he has to leave.”
“Oh, of course.” The superintendent finally stopped to take a breath and nodded at Faith, almost as if he’d forgotten she was there. “We look forward to your next visit, Jake. I’ll talk to you soon.”
As soon as the other man left Faith’s office, where they’d ended up after the last class, Faith gave him a wry smile and shook her head, dark hair sliding over her shoulders.
“Mr. Hillman is a wonderful man but sometimes, when he gets going, he’s hard to stop.”
Jake hadn’t cared how long the man talked. He hadn’t really been listening to him. He’d been watching Faith. And now he wanted to rub the strands between his fingers and see if it felt as silky as it appeared. He had wondered what her skin would feel like against his. Wanted to run his fingers along her cheek and see if she’d blush again.
The week away had only strengthened his desire for her.
“I have nowhere I need to be,” Jake said as he slipped into the chair in front of her desk, piled high with papers and files.
It was the first thing he’d noticed when they’d walked in, how messy it was. It seemed so out of character for her.
“Oh, you don’t—I mean, I don’t—”
“And I had a good time today. I like your students.”
He could tell from the expression on her face that she hadn’t expected him to sit and talk. Knew she’d expected him to leave immediately and stop disrupting her quiet, ordered life.
Except he kept looking at her desk. At the chaos there. And it gave him hope that maybe she’d be ready for some chaos in other parts of her life.
But for now, they’d talk about her students because that brought a true smile to her face.
“They’re great, aren’t they? They’re so eager to learn new things. I think that’s what I love most about working here. I mean, I liked working with the seniors but…it was tough, when we lost them. This is tough in other ways, but even if we have an absolutely shitty day, the next day we start fresh. And they’re almost always happy to be here.”
Unlike the seniors who died on her.
He could also see how facing death every day would make her think about her own near brush with it. But that definitely wasn’t something he wanted to talk about. At least, not now.
“It is clear they enjoy you.”
And there was the smile he’d wanted to see. Wide and bright and, for a split second, they were the only two people in the building.
“And I love them. I mean, there are a
couple who are a challenge, but once you get to know them, you realize that what other people might see as difficult or unruly is really just stress or an inability to cope with strange environments.”
“They are lucky to have you see them for the people they truly are.”
Her smile disappeared and, for a second, he thought she was going to cry. Like any normal man with a brain, he froze. Of course he didn’t want to make a woman he liked cry. He wanted to make her smile or laugh or sigh into his mouth while he kissed her.
Then she blinked and a different smile curved her lips. A smile that made his gut clench. Because that was a smile that told him she appreciated him.
“I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about me. Thank you.”
He shoved down the immediate desire to ask her out again. He knew she’d shut him down immediately if he did.
For now, he needed to rein in his instinct to ask her out again and not push her so damn hard. But it was hard to work against his nature.
“You are welcome. So…” he paused and he could practically see her walls going up as she anticipated his next question, “I want to talk to you about future dates. I am open to being here more if it is good for the students. I only need set dates to put into my schedule.”
Several different emotions crossed her face but the only one he cared about was the last one.
Because that smile definitely gave him hope for the future of their relationship.
And just like he was going to get his career back on track, he was going to win over Faith as well.
Defeat was not an option.
*****
“You’ve been awfully quiet tonight. Are you sure everything’s okay?”
Faith stifled a sigh and aimed a smile at Bliss, staring at her from across the table in Faith’s apartment, the ruins of their dinner spread out between them.
For the past year or so, once a month or whenever they could fit it in, one of them would make an Arby’s run and they would chow down on roast beef sandwiches, potato cakes, curly fries, and shakes.
Not the healthiest meal but one of Faith’s absolute favorites. Before her accident, she’d eaten there more than she wanted to admit. And when she and Bliss had discovered their mutual love of the same fast food, they’d made Arby’s dates.
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