Amazingly, they’d been able to schedule one for tonight, and Faith had so been looking forward to a night of bad-for-her food and some Netflix therapy.
Yes, it was only Wednesday, but it felt like Friday. A Friday after a long week of endless Mondays, if that made any sense.
“Right now, I’m absolutely fine. Why?”
Bliss shrugged. “You just seem like you’ve got something on your mind. Is there something you want to talk about?”
Well, damn. Was she really that transparent? Or did Bliss just know her that well?
“Do you have some kind of freaky ESP I don’t know about?”
Bliss pulled a face. “Don’t I wish? Then I wouldn’t have to pry things out of you with a crowbar. So are you going to tell me what’s up or force me to keep digging? You know I’ll get my way in the end, so just give in. Make it easier on both of us.”
With a sigh, Faith leaned back into the couch and stretched her legs out on the cushions, rubbing at the thigh that ached, like it still did almost every night by this time.
“There’s really nothing to tell.”
“Bullshit. Come on. Just tell me. Did something happen at work?”
Oh, just spit it out. You know you want to.
“You could say that.”
Bliss rolled her eyes. “Then spit it out.”
“Fine. I told you we’re doing this new physical fitness program at the school and I was hoping to get some local athletes to participate? Well…Jake showed up.”
Bliss’s brows rose before she could stifle her reaction and she had to work to conceal her smile.
“You already know this, don’t you?”
Bliss tilted her head to the side in a sort-of shrug. “Are you going to be pissed if I say yes?”
Faith huffed. “No, of course not. But who told you? I mean, did he tell the whole—”
“No, no, no.” Bliss waved her hands in front of her. “Jake told no one so don’t even go there.”
“Then what the hell?”
“Sophie told me. Derek stopped over to talk to Jake. Brody told him Jake went out. Derek extrapolated from there. I mean, come on, you have to realize it wasn’t that hard to figure out if Derek did.”
Shit. Just…shit. No, of course it wasn’t that difficult to figure out. It was just…
“Nothing happened. We talked about the program.”
“I find it interesting you led with ‘nothing happened.’”
Faith groaned. “Not you, too. Come on, I don’t need you breathing down my neck about him. Sophie’s been all over my ass.”
“I don’t see what the big deal is.” Bliss shrugged. “So you went on a date? I mean, it’s not like you’re cheating or anything. He’s free. You’re free. And he’s a nice guy. I mean, just the way he deals with Mike is amazing.”
Yes, she knew Jake and Bliss’s brother, Mike, who had Down syndrome, had become close friends. Bliss occasionally would mention Jake and Mike having game night or getting dinner together.
It might seem like an odd friendship to anyone who didn’t know them, but no one who met Mike remained a stranger long. And now that she knew about Jake’s brother, it made even more sense.
“Is there something else going on I don’t know about?” Bliss continued.
“No, it’s just…”
Faith tried to find the words she needed to explain how she felt but nothing felt right. They all felt like excuses. And they weren’t.
Damn it, they weren’t.
“I don’t want a man in my life right now.”
Bliss nodded, shrugged, and let her gaze drop to the table, where she picked through her remaining curly fries. “Okay.”
“Wait. That’s all you’re going to say?”
Bliss blinked up at her, the look on her face so innocent, Faith’s gaze narrowed. “What would you like me to say?”
“You suck.”
Bliss’s lips curved in a huge smile. “Only if Shane asks.”
Faith burst out laughing and tossed a piece of crust at Bliss, who batted it away with a snide grin.
“You look so sweet and innocent on the outside but you’re really not, are you?”
“Of course not.” Bliss’s smile spread. “I love sex, especially with Shane. It’s hot and intense and amazing.” Then she paused and Faith braced for the question she knew was coming. “Don’t you miss it?”
“You’re assuming I haven’t had sex since the accident.”
Bliss just continued to stare at her.
“Yes. Okay? Yes, I enjoy sex just as much as anyone else. My ex and I had great sex.”
Until she’d nearly been killed in the accident. And then…
“So maybe you and Jake can just blow off some steam. If that’s all you want. I mean, it’s not like you’re gonna marry the guy. He could be a good distraction for a while.”
It wasn’t anything she hadn’t thought about herself. But… “What if I don’t want just a distraction? What if I’m looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with?”
“Are you?”
“Isn’t everyone?”
Bliss sucked in a deep breath then released it on a huff. “I guess…most people are.”
“Then maybe that’s what I’m looking for. Not just a couple of nights in bed with someone who uses me to get off and leaves me hanging.”
“Wait…that kind of sounds like something you already learned firsthand.”
“Maybe I did.”
“And you never told me about it?”
Bliss sounded shocked and Faith had to give her that one.
“Maybe I was a little embarrassed about it and didn’t want to broadcast how total a failure I was at a one-night stand.”
“I’m sorry.” Bliss’s nose crinkled. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Faith shook her head but immediately rethought her answer.
“I don’t know. Maybe. It was embarrassing.”
“Why? What happened?”
“It was months ago, at that conference in New York. There’s this one guy I’ve seen there for the past two years. He knew about my accident, about the wedding. He was a nice guy. We talked. We flirted. I figured what the hell so I went back to his room with him one night and we had sex. And it was…okay.”
“Just okay? Did something happen—”
“No, nothing weird happened. He didn’t become this supreme asshole overnight. He was just this nice guy who I had nice sex with. And the next morning, I did the walk of shame back to my room and he treated me just the same as he had before we’d slept together.”
“And…”
“And… I don’t know. I thought… Hell, I don’t know what I thought. Maybe I got a little fixated on him. Or maybe I just fixated on having a man in my life. I wanted him to want to call me. And when he didn’t,” she shrugged, “maybe I felt a little sorry for myself. Then I just felt pitiful.”
“You are not pitiful so just stop that right there. Did you ask about maybe getting together again?”
“No. It’d never work out. He lives in Denver. We see each other at this conference once a year. There’s no future. Ugh. See? Stupid.”
“So not stupid.” Bliss shook her head. “But if you like him, why don’t you contact him? There’s always sexting.”
Bliss’s smile brightened and her eyes held a distinct gleam.
Faith shook her head. “I take it you know a lot about that?”
Bliss just kept smiling. “Shane’s on the road a lot and we don’t get to spend every night together.”
“At least not now. Are you still planning to move to Philly with him this summer?”
Her expression both excited and a little sad, Bliss nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t say anything but I have a couple of interviews for jobs lined up in the next couple of weeks. It’s not like I can just move down there and live with Shane and not do anything. I need a job and I was getting a little worried about not being able find anything but then I got these two callbacks and—I didn
’t want to say anything until I knew for sure if I was moving.”
Faith didn’t have to fake a smile. Bliss and Shane were miserable to be apart as much as they were and she wanted Bliss to be happy. But…
“It’s going to suck when you’re gone.”
“I know.” Bliss’s smile turned wicked. “But there’s always sexting. Shane would be all over that.”
They laughed and Faith felt the weight on her shoulders lighten. She had no idea where that weight had come from but it seemed to have gotten heavier in the past couple of weeks.
“It’s good to see you laugh,” Bliss said. “I mean really laugh. You’ve seemed…sad lately. And I just didn’t know why and I haven’t wanted to ask, but I’m asking now. Is everything okay? Is it loneliness or is there something else going on?”
Faith reached across the table for Bliss’s hand and meshing their fingers together. “The school’s not doing well. I’ve been seeing the writing on the wall for a few months. I’ve been looking for another job, but unless I want to work with a district instead of a specialized school like Discovery, I’m probably going to have to move.”
Bliss didn’t look surprised but she did look sad. “Do you have somewhere in mind? Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to miss the hell out of you if you do move away, but maybe getting away from here wouldn’t be a bad thing.”
Since the thought of moving away didn’t immediately make her break into hives, like it might have done a year ago, Faith considered that a win. Still…
“Sometimes I think, wouldn’t it be great to get away from here and start over?”
“So do it.”
Faith shrugged. “I might not have a choice.” Then she huffed out a sigh. “Sorry. Ugh. I don’t want to adult today.”
Bliss shook their joined hands. “Yes, you do. Especially if it’s with Jake. You like him, don’t you?”
She didn’t really have to think about her answer. “Yes. He’s a little cocky but, yeah, he’s basically a nice guy.”
“Basically?”
“Fine.” Faith rolled her eyes. “He’s more than a nice guy. And yeah, it wouldn’t suck to get to know him better.”
Bliss’s smile threatened to crack open her face. “Then give yourself permission to just have fun. And if that fun includes sex, then more power to you. And don’t let anyone tell you you’re not entitled to want who and what you want. Even if it is a cocky Czech.”
Chapter Seven
Do you have a night open this week for dinner?
For a split second, Jake wondered if Faith had meant to send that text to him.
He’d just gotten into his car after practice Monday and was planning to head back to his apartment for lunch before going to the gym.
He was scheduled to be at Discovery Academy Thursday afternoon before a three-game weekend that had them home Friday night, in Lehigh Saturday night, and in Wilkes-Barre on Sunday afternoon. Not an awful weekend of travel considering Lehigh was only an hour away and Wilkes-Barre about three hours.
He’d planned to text Faith and see if she wanted to go out tomorrow night. And if not, then he’d push for Wednesday. If all else failed, he was going to ask her if he could pick her brain for a few hours after his session with the students on Thursday.
Eventually he figured he’d wear her down and she would agree to go out with him simply to shut him up.
He did realize that if she said no again on Thursday, he was going to have to back off and regroup. Maybe even concede defeat. He did not want to become a damn stalker. Even though she had seemed more open to his advances by the end of their dinner
He hadn’t seen her alone since their date last week. The team had been on the road Friday and Saturday, with games in Ohio, and had gotten back early Sunday night. He and Brody and a few of the other guys had gotten some pizza and kicked back to their apartment before dropping into bed and sleeping a full ten hours before practice this morning.
They’d split the games in Ohio, had lost the Saturday night game in overtime so today they’d worked on special teams.
Jake had been pleased with his play, for the most part, but knew his leg still wasn’t back to full strength yet. Which meant more gym time.
But he’d gladly give up an hour or two on the weights to take Faith to dinner.
Yes. Tonight.
He didn’t want to give her time to rethink.
When she didn’t answer right away, he put the phone away and headed over to the gym to meet Brody, Derek, Ian, Robbie, and CJ.
But before he left the car, he checked his messages.
She’d texted him back.
OK. What time is good for you?
Grinning, he typed in his reply.
I’ll pick you up at six.
Once he hit send, he got out of the car…and realized Robbie stood there waiting for him.
“Hey, Jake. You got a minute?”
Something in Robbie’s voice made him take a second look at the kid. Barely twenty-one, Robbie looked like he was about to have a meltdown.
“Of course. What is problem?”
Shoving his hands in the pockets of his sweats, Robbie dropped his gaze to the ground and didn’t say anything right away. Which wasn’t unusual for the kid. He didn’t talk a lot around other people because of his stutter. He’d gotten over it with the team, and only because the core group of players had been here for the past three years. It’d allowed Robbie to get comfortable with them.
But this didn’t seem like just an uncomfortable silence. This seemed like something else.
“What has happened?”
Finally, Robbie huffed out a sigh and shook his head. “Coach is talking about trading me.”
Fuck. No wonder the guy looked like his world was ending. But before he fed into Robbie’s paranoia, he asked, “You are sure is not rumor?”
Robbie shook his head again, this time harder. “No. My agent t-told me.” The kid looked up at him and his jaw tightened. “He said m-my dad asked if the Redtails w-would consider it.”
Ah. Well, yes, that sucked. All ways around.
Robbie’s dad had been a revered NHL star about two decades ago and people still spoke his name in awed tones usually reserved for gods. In the hockey world, Elias Lindback was a god. He and his wife had produced four professional players, including Robbie, their second youngest. And while his older brothers and sister all played at the NHL and NWHL level, Robbie was thriving in the AHL. He was one of the Redtails’ leading scorers, and if they lost him, they’d feel that pain heading into the playoffs.
To add insult to injury, they’d lose Robbie to their division’s top rival because Elias had taken over the coaching position for the Maine Flying Foxes at the start of the season.
“And your father did not say anything to you before he made this request?”
“No. I mean, we’ve t-talked about me c-coming to p-play for the F-Foxes but…no, he didn’t ask.”
“Then answer is no.”
Robbie blinked up at him. “Seriously? Just…no?”
“Yes. Just tell him no. You are adult. This is your career. He is your father but he does not have right to your entire life. Tell him no.” He paused. “Unless you want to go.”
Robbie stared up at him like he had just told him to dance naked in the middle of the parking lot. He stood there for several seconds with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide.
And then a grin spread across his face and finally, he shook his head before huffing out a laugh.
“Why do you laugh?”
Robbie continued to grin for a few more seconds. “Because I knew y-you’d say this.”
“Is this not what you want me to say?”
Robbie shook his head. “No. It’s exactly what I wanted to hear. I j-just n-needed someone to s-say it. Thank you.”
“Is no problem.”
Jake turned to walk away but Robbie didn’t move. So he stopped and turned back.
“What else is wrong?”
The kid shrugged. “Nothing. I’m glad you’re b-back.”
“I am as well.”
“I’ll miss you when you get called up.”
Jake grinned and slung his arm around Robbie’s shoulders, pulling him along with him toward the gym.
“And I will miss you. But I am not going anywhere today. Except the gym.”
Robbie shuffled along next to him. “That’s not what I heard.”
“Then you have been reading too many gossip blogs.”
Jake had learned to tune that shit out early on in his career in the states. Everyone had an opinion about what was going on in the leagues and everyone had the need to get their opinion out there.
“This didn’t come from a blog.”
“Okay. I bite. Where did it come from?”
Robbie didn’t answer right away, as if he were searching for his words. Finally, he sucked in a breath.
“Okay, so I don’t know if this is common knowledge yet but Mik told me Matheson’s talking about retiring. And with Copley out indefinitely and Steiger on the IR as of last night, they’re going to need D-men. Mik said your name’s come up a few times when they talk about replacements.”
Now, that did make Jake think a little harder because Mik was Robbie’s older brother who played for the Colonials. But…
“No. They will take Brody back up.”
“I heard Brody’s going to finish out the season down here.”
If that was true… “You are full of information today.”
Robbie shrugged. “Mik and I talk a lot more than me and my other brothers. I trust him.”
Which meant Jake could trust him as well. Still, a call up was not a sure thing. Just the only think he’d been working toward for the past five years.
And what about Faith?
It wasn’t like he’d made a commitment.
Except that, when he thought about Faith, he realized he had made a commitment, if only to himself. And he didn’t mean to the program at the school, although that would be a hard thing to leave behind when he’d only just started.
No, the commitment he’d made to Faith went deeper. He’d given her a piece of himself he had never given anyone else, even if she didn’t know.
The Machine Page 9