The Machine

by Stephanie Julian

  He’d given her a piece of his heart. And he didn’t want it back. He wanted to give her more, had made a plan to win her over.

  Another plan was in order. And this one would have to be set to lightning speed.

  *****

  “Deep breath, dork. You’re such an idiot.”

  Faith checked her hair in the mirror one more time before turning away with a huff.

  Jake would be here in a few minutes. She’d been ready for the past half hour and yet she was still fussing with her hair.

  It wasn’t like she could do anything different with it. It wouldn’t hold a curl to save her soul, and only the fact that it had a few layers made it at all interesting. Same with her face. She wasn’t ugly but she didn’t turn heads like Bliss or Vivi. She was…cute.

  Cursed with being cute.

  Ugh. What the hell did Jake, the uber-hot hockey hotshot, see in her?

  Yeah, yeah, Bliss would totally be up in her face if she heard Faith right now.

  But Faith had no illusions about herself. She wasn’t outgoing, she wasn’t some gorgeous supermodel type. And no, she didn’t think she was hideously ugly.

  She was just…average.

  So of course, she couldn’t stop asking herself why he was interested in her.

  When the doorbell rang, she had half a mind to ask him. Especially when she opened the door and found herself face-to-face with him.

  That giddy, heart-squeezing, light-headed sensation swept through her body and she had the simultaneous urges to shut the door in his face and grab him by the front of his chest-hugging thermal shirt to drag him inside her apartment so she could push up against the wall and kiss him.

  Then she’d pull him over to the couch, straddle his lap, and kiss him for hours on end.

  Screw dinner. She could stand to lose a few pounds anyway. Wonder how many calories she could burn making out with him?

  “Hi.”

  “Hello.” He nodded, lips curving in that smile that made her heart beat faster. “May I come in?”

  She nodded, then noticed the pizza boxes in his hand.

  Waving him in, she closed the door behind him. “I didn’t realize we were eating in.”

  “You have not looked out the window lately, have you?”

  “No, why?”

  Then she shook her head because she realized his shoulders were coated with a fine layer of quickly melting snow.

  “Oh, wow. I didn’t realize it had gotten so bad. Why didn’t you call? We could’ve postponed to another night.”

  Although she really, really wouldn’t have wanted to. And now that he was here, she couldn’t help feeling even more excited than she had earlier.

  They were alone. Together. And the look in his eyes made her think he had had the same idea.

  “I did not want to postpone. I wanted to see you tonight.”

  Since it was the best thing he could have said, she smiled and waved him toward the table as she walked to the window.

  Pulling aside the curtain, she huffed out a short gasp. “Oh my god. I had no idea how bad it’s getting. When I got home today, they were still only calling for a dusting. There must be a couple of inches at least.”

  “Yes, and more on the way. It is supposed to continue all night.”

  He spoke from directly over her shoulder, startling her into looking up. He was only inches away from her and staring down at her, blue eyes warm and direct.

  She had the almost overwhelming urge to wrap her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist and press her mouth over his. Her gaze dropped to his lips before she could stop herself. How the hell had she gone from not wanting to have anything to do with the man to wanting to kiss him until their clothes fell off and they found themselves horizontal on her bed?

  Because that’s exactly what she wanted right now.

  “Faith.”

  She blinked and took an involuntary step back. His gaze narrowed and she saw him lean slightly away from her.

  “Sorry. I’m sorry, I…” She reached for him, put her hand on his arm to stop him from moving even farther away. She wanted him within reach but she didn’t want to come out and say that. Not yet, anyway. “Why don’t we sit down and eat while the pizza’s hot?”

  “You have an oven, yes?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Then we can reheat the pizza.”

  She swallowed hard. “Then what do you want to do now?”

  His brows rose a tiny bit and she could’ve sworn he was smiling. “Do you really not know?”

  Take what he’s offering. Seriously, why won’t you?

  It was a good question and one she didn’t have a good answer to.

  And because she’d never been good at flirting, she just shook her head and stared up at him.

  “I don’t know why you’re here.”

  That made him cock his head to the side, his gaze narrowed down to slits of sky blue.

  “Of course you do. I want you.”

  Her mouth dropped open at the way he just said that, like he went around saying that to women all the time.

  Maybe he does.

  “I’m not sure I’m ready for you.”

  “Of course you are. You’re strong enough to take me on. You just have to give yourself permission. Say yes, Faith.”

  “Yes to what?”

  His smile returned, a grin that took her breath away. “We can start with a kiss.”

  Yes, she wanted a kiss. His kiss.

  And that was the hard part for her. She wanted him.

  The last man she’d let herself want had disappointed her. She didn’t want to be disappointed with Jake.

  If you weren’t planning to kiss him, why did you ask him out?

  “Say yes because you want to. If you don’t, we will eat, we will talk, and I will leave. Is your choice.”

  So much of her life lately had been dictated not by choice but by necessity. She spent so much time at therapy and work that she sometimes felt she didn’t have time for anything else in her life.

  There were days she went from the gym to work to therapy then home to eat in front of the TV before she fell asleep and got up to do it all over again. The only nights she truly felt free lately were nights she went to games. His games.

  “If I—”

  “The answer,” his voice rubbed against her skin like a physical caress, “is yes or no.”

  She drew in a breath, thinking about the possible consequences.

  Fuck the consequences.

  “Yes.”

  She braced for him to move in right away, to bend down and kiss her. She should’ve known better.

  He didn’t move immediately, just stood there staring into her eyes with a grin on his lips. A grin that grew wider with each passing second. That smile stole her breath.

  And that’s when he moved in.

  Cupping her cheeks in his huge, rough hands, he held her steady as he lowered his lips to hers. She watched him until he got too close and then she closed her eyes and held her breath.

  His lips didn’t touch hers immediately and the anticipation made her heart pound so hard it felt like her throat was closing.

  He was teasing her. She knew exactly what he was doing and she wanted to demand he finish what he’d started but she didn’t want to break the spell.

  And then his lips touched hers and she tried not to moan at the contact.

  She didn’t quite manage that. The small sound that escaped would embarrass the hell out of her later, but right now she didn’t care because, oh my god, Jake was kissing her.

  And it was everything she could have hoped for.

  His lips pressed against hers with the perfect amount of pressure, his hands warm and firm against her cheeks, holding her in place. Not that she had any intention of moving away from him. Not now. She was enjoying this way too much.

  His lips moved over hers with a lazy sense of ownership, like he was laying claim to her mouth. Laying claim to her.


  No, she wasn’t going to think about that. She was simply going to enjoy the hell out of kissing Jake.

  For several long seconds, he kissed her with his mouth closed. Chaste, almost sweet. It was at such odds with the man she thought she knew that she wondered if he was trying to lull her into a false sense of security.

  But why he would bother?

  She’d wanted him to kiss her. She’d told him she wanted him to kiss her. Hell, she probably would’ve asked him to kiss her if he hadn’t taken the initiative.

  Then, as she began to melt into him, she realized why.

  Because he was seducing her.

  His lips moved against hers with a lazy arrogance that fueled the fire building low in her body. That fire had started as an ember but was fast becoming a consuming ache.

  Then he tilted her face and opened his mouth over hers and took her under completely.

  And she realized that if he’d started out this way, she might’ve run.

  Because, holy hell, she felt like he was consuming her. His tongue slid between her lips and into her mouth, tangling with hers, coaxing her to participate. She hadn’t been until she realized her hands had wrapped around his wrists and she was holding on as if she were drowning.

  Which was how she felt. Like he was taking her under and she had to hold on or drop into the black.

  Not that he would let her fall. His hands held her face up to his until he sensed that she wasn’t going anywhere. Then his hands curved down to her shoulders and hers wound up on his biceps, rock-hard beneath his shirt. Her fingers curled into the muscle, gripping him tight, as if she thought he might try to get away.

  She knew, rationally, that he wasn’t going anywhere, but that little part of her brain that couldn’t believe she was kissing Jake Mozik insisted she needed to do something to keep him here. Keep him with her.

  So she tangled her tongue with his instead of simply letting him take over. Licked at him and played with him. She could’ve sworn she felt him smile but the sensation was gone from one second to the next.

  Now, though, something had changed. She sensed it in the urgency of his lips on hers, in the weight of his hands on her shoulders.

  Suddenly, she didn’t want this space between them. She wanted to be pressed up against him. She went to take a step forward, but he held her in place.

  With a little moan of disappointment, she pressed against his hands and—

  Her knee buckled. Clutching at him, she gasped, breaking away from his mouth as she felt herself about to fall.

  Except she didn’t because he held her up. And in the next second, her feet left the floor as he scooped her into his arms and walked to the couch.

  She didn’t say anything and neither did he, just carried her in his arms like she weighed nothing. She liked that way too much. She opened her mouth to protest, but Jake had already reached the couch and was sinking into the cushions.

  Now they were eye to eye, with her ass cradled on his thighs and her hip pressing against his erection.

  Yes, he was hard. For her.

  She couldn’t doubt that, not with the way he was staring at her now.

  Those beautiful blue eyes blazed into hers, making her feel hypnotized.

  “You are okay, yes?”

  His words didn’t make any sense at first, until she remembered how her knee had given out only seconds ago.

  She blinked, taking a second to think about her answer and another to do a mental check on her knee. It didn’t hurt. At least, she didn’t feel it at the moment.

  “Yes, I’m fine.”

  “Good.”

  And he was kissing her again. But this time, she wasn’t going to wait for him to give her what she wanted. She was going to take it.

  Pressing him back and away from her, she awkwardly repositioned herself, straddling his thighs and putting her hands on his shoulders. As his hands went to her hips, the grin on his lips made her want to kiss it off. Like, seriously, she wanted to kiss him until that smile disappeared and lust replaced it.

  “You know that smile makes me want to do bad things to you.”

  That smile spread until his eyes practically closed.

  “I would be happy to have you do bad things to me.”

  “Now I don’t want to because you’d like it.”

  “You are contrary. I like that.”

  That smile made her tummy flutter. Damn him. “And you’re arrogant.”

  His brows rose in challenge. “I believe you like that about me.”

  He wasn’t wrong.

  “Keep talking like that and I won’t kiss you.”

  “Yes, you will.”

  She wanted to stick her tongue out at him but figured he’d take that as foreplay.

  And isn’t it?

  Yes. Everything she did with this man was foreplay because everything he did made her want to kiss him. And put her hands on him. And maybe take off all his clothes and shove him into her bed so she could jump his bones.

  It’d been months since she’d had sex. Literally, months and before that one time, it’d been more than a year.

  Pitiful.

  “What are you thinking right now?”

  She blinked, bringing here and now back into focus. She’d drifted away for a second. Which, of course, he’d noticed.

  “Nothing I want to tell you.”

  “And yet I want you to tell me everything.”

  “Are you always this demanding?”

  “Yes. But you know this.” His hands began to slide down her hips to her thighs then back up again, a sensuous motion that made her heart beat even faster. “What were you thinking? You looked…lost.”

  Instead of answering, she kissed him. And let herself drown again in the feel of his lips against hers. This time, she was the aggressor. This time, she let her tongue slide into his mouth and tangle around his tongue, coaxing him to play with her.

  His hands stopped low on her hips as he allowed her to deepen the kiss, his fingers gripping her tight. But as soon as he realized what he was doing, he loosened his grip. Probably because he’d remembered her accident.

  Letting her lips slide away from his, she kissed her way along his cheek to his ear…and bit his earlobe hard.

  “I’m not going to break if you hold me there.”

  “I don’t think you will break.” His voice held a rough edge that made goosebumps cover her arms. “But I do know you were hurt before and I don’t want to cause you any more pain.”

  Damn him for knowing exactly what to say to make her want him even more.

  With an exaggerated huff, she pulled back to look at him. “How about we make a deal?”

  Eyebrows raised, he looked at her skeptically. “What deal is this?”

  “A deal where you do what you want and I tell you if it hurts or I don’t want you to do it. Okay? You need to trust me.”

  He didn’t say anything for several seconds and she found herself holding her breath, waiting for him to give her this. To agree to what she wanted.

  “I trust you. I don’t trust myself.” His hands began to slide up her body now, to her waist, stopping just below her breasts. “Because I want more than you may be willing to give.”

  “How do you know what I want to give you if you don’t just shut up and take it?”

  Now his smile spread so wide, it took her breath away. Damn the man, he was absolutely gorgeous. And she wanted him to give her what she wanted. To just say yes. To not disappoint her like so many other men had done before.

  “Fine. I will trust you. But you have to be honest with me, too.”

  “I do trust you. Or you wouldn’t be here.”

  “I am honored to be here.”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to say something sarcastic to that but he beat her to the punch, as it were.

  “Now I think you should continue to kiss me and I will shut up. I am sure you want that as well.”

  It was Faith’s turn to smile as she slid her hands up the back of
his neck to sink her fingers into the short strands of his perfectly trimmed hair, just long enough to grab onto.

  “Just sit back and take it like a man.”

  His gaze narrowed and, for a second, she wondered if she’d gone too far.

  Then he made a sound deep in his throat, for all intents and purposes, a growl.

  “I will take you any way I can have you.”

  Her sex clenched in reaction and she swallowed hard.

  “Right answer.”

  Clenching his hair in her fists, she slammed her mouth down on his, and this time, she kissed him like he was necessary to live.

  And he kissed her back like he knew it. And felt the same.

  This time, their mouths ground together with more fury. The restraint he must have been showing earlier melted away under the heat they generated. His hands spread across her back, pulling her closer, making her want more than just his mouth.

  She wanted him to touch her, to pet her. To move his freaking hands. But she didn’t want to stop kissing him to tell him. So she moved her own hands. She stroked her hands down to his shoulders and let her fingers dig into the strong muscles there.

  He was so big, so broad, she wanted to run her hands all over him. His shoulders, his chest…lower.

  The warmth of his body seeped through her clothes, the heat of his thighs searing into hers. She felt a groan building in her chest but held it back, simply because she didn’t want to embarrass herself or him. Didn’t want to appear as needy as she felt.

  But if she were honest, she’d admit to needing him until she could barely breathe.

  Tilting her head, she deepened the kiss even more, his taste flooding her body. With every breath, she fell more deeply under his spell.

  Then his hands began to move and every nerve ending in her body sizzled. He urged her closer, his fingers firm against her back as they traveled up to her shoulders.

  And pulled her away.

  She went without a hassle, her eyes opening to find him staring back at her. A ruddy red flushed his cheeks and his blue eyes had darkened to an ice gray that mesmerized.

  “If we don’t stop now, the pizza will be cold.”

  Because she had a feeling she knew where he was going with this, she widened her eyes and pouted. “And you’d rather eat pizza?”