The Machine

by Stephanie Julian

  “Uh-huh. So…just a heads-up. You’re gonna wanna be rested for Friday’s game. Mann’s gonna be here.”

  Jake immediately knew Brody was talking about Domenic Mann, the Colonials’ assistant coach.

  “He is coming to check on your progress?”

  Brody nodded. “Yeah. But not just me. He wants to see you in action. At least that’s what I was told. It’s supposed to be a surprise visit. Only Coach knows and he’s not supposed to tell anyone.”

  But Brody had friends in high places at the Colonials. Friends who tipped him off.

  Sharp excitement punched Jake in the gut. “Thank you for heads-up.”

  “Not a problem. I don’t like surprises. I like to be prepared for shit. I figured you’d appreciate it. You’re looking good, man. Better than me.”

  It was high praise from a damn good player, and Jake enjoyed the hell out of it because Brody didn’t throw around compliments. Ever.

  “Your shoulder still giving you problem?”

  Brody circled the offending right joint. “Same fucking shit, different day. Honestly, I’m glad to be here working on this rather than in Philly. Too many eyes there.”

  “Yes, but more glory.”

  Brody’s sneer was there and gone in a split second. “Some days, it’s not worth it. Trust me.”

  “Since I have never played up, I will have to take your word for it.”

  Brody snagged a puck from along the boards and maneuvered it between his skates.

  “You will. How’s the leg?”

  “Feels fine,” he said honestly.

  “Good. Don’t fuck it up before Friday.”

  “I won’t.” He paused. “Thank you.”

  Brody nodded but his attention had already shifted back to practice as Cary Lenville, the assistant coach, called the defensive players back to the goalie crease.

  A few seconds later, Brody skated off to join the other players, leaving Jake to take a few seconds.

  Three days. He had three days to hone his game and make sure he was ready to impress Coach Mann.

  Three fucking days. No pressure.

  Just the future of his possible NHL career hanging in the balance.

  *****

  Would you like to come over for dinner?

  Faith had debated sending the text all morning, but by noon, she’d decided, fuck it, he could say no if he was busy.

  She understood Jake had a demanding career that didn’t conform to any kind of normal schedule. He needed flexibility and she might be one of the most inflexible people she knew.

  Her schedule had some wiggle room, but most days, she got up at six-thirty, was at work by eight-thirty, home by five, and in bed by ten-thirty. Those five and a half hours after work normally were filled with eating, reading, prepping for the next day, and watching TV. Mostly alone.

  She didn’t want to spend tonight alone.

  So she sent the text on her lunch break then put her phone away until the end of the day and tried not to think about it.

  But when she dug her phone out after the final bell at three-thirty, she had to admit she was pretty crushed to find he hadn’t texted her back. Immediately, her brain began to work overtime.

  They don’t call them one-night stands for nothing.

  She should’ve known when he’d left this morning that he wasn’t going to be in contact. He’d kissed her, told her he’d had a great time and that he’d be in touch. And then he’d left.

  Maybe you’re not giving him enough credit.

  And maybe she’d just been foolish enough to think he was different.

  By the time she drove home, her mood was not the best, so to find a missed call from her mom made her rub her temples to fend off an impending headache. But she knew from past experience that if she didn’t call her mom back, her mom would freak out and call every half hour until Faith picked up.

  And if Faith didn’t call by that night, her mom would be on her doorstep, hyperventilating with worry.

  She understood. Really, she did. Her mom had been there for her through every step of her rehabilitation. But as Faith had become more independent, Shelly Donovan had become even more anxious.

  Oh, her mom tried to contain herself. Shelly knew she had to take a step back, but so far, saying and doing were still miles apart.

  So as soon as she dropped her bag and took off her coat when she stepped into her apartment, she called her mom.

  “Hey, Mom, how goes it?”

  Faith heard the sigh of relief her mom tried to hide and thanked all the gods that she hadn’t decided to FaceTime because she wouldn’t have been able to hide her eye roll.

  “Not bad. And you? I didn’t hear from you yesterday so I just wanted to check in.”

  Yesterday. Faith mulled that word over in her head as she replied.

  “Everything’s fine. I’m fine. I…had a date last night.”

  It was her mom’s turn to pause and Faith could practically hear her mom’s anxiety ratchet up through the phone line.

  “Oh. Really? That’s…great. So who is he?”

  The sarcastic brat who still lived inside her, the one who’d been almost pummeled out of existence by the accident, rose up and Faith had to bite her tongue against the urge to say, “Just some guy I picked up at the bar for a one-night stand.”

  Her mom might actually have a heart attack if she said that. Sure, technically, it was true. But honestly…

  Hiding another sigh, she told the truth.

  “He’s a hockey player.” And then because she was still just the girl who wanted to please her parents, she added, “He’s a friend of Bliss’s.”

  Her mom loved Bliss so if anything could erase that tension from her mom’s voice, it was the fact that Bliss approved of this guy.

  Which wasn’t a lie. Bliss did like Jake. Everyone liked Jake.

  “Oh, well, that’s nice. I guess. Did you have a good time?’

  Yes, she did. Especially the three orgasms she’d had during sex. “Yeah, we had a good time.”

  “And do you think you’ll see him again?”

  What a loaded question. How the hell did she answer that?

  Her phone chimed to indicate a text and she pulled it away from her ear to check.

  And began to grin from ear to ear.

  Because Jake had texted her back.

  Yes. I would. I am standing outside your door with dinner.

  She blinked. Was he serious? She practically ran for the door.

  “Faith? You still there?”

  “Um, yeah.” She opened the door to find Jake standing there with a large brown bag in his hand and a look on his face that she hoped meant he was bringing more than food to the table.

  “Hey, Mom. I actually have plans for dinner tonight so can I talk to you tomorrow?”

  Waving him through the door, she barely heard her mom respond. “Okay, sure, honey. Have a good night. I’ll talk to you then.”

  Ending the call, she set her phone face down on the table by the door and tried to contain the goofy smile that wanted to bust free.

  “Hey. What are you doing here?”

  Well, damn, that was a stupid question. She knew exactly what he was doing here. He’d told her. What she couldn’t figure out was why.

  Jake walked across the room to her dining table, set the bag on the table, and began to unpack it.

  “I brought dinner. I am starving and since you probably just got home, I am sure you are hungry, too. Come. Sit. I brought your favorites.”

  Her favorites. How…

  Shaking her head, she went to the kitchen to get utensils and plates, intrigued and so damn charmed by him, completely wiping from her mind the fact that she’d been ready to write him off as just another asshole a few minutes ago.

  “And how do you know what my favorites are?”

  She set the plates on the table, followed by the silverware, watching him with a bemused smile.

  He shrugged and gave her that almost-arrogant look t
hat got her blood pumping.

  “Because I am that good.”

  She laughed, couldn’t help herself. Luckily, he understood and grinned back at her. And now she found it hard to breathe.

  Forcing air into her lungs, she arched her brows at him. “Well, I guess I’ll reserve judgment until I see what you actually brought.”

  Although she had a feeling he knew exactly what she craved. And it wasn’t food at this moment.

  “I do not believe you will be disappointed.”

  And, of course, he was right.

  The first box he opened contained Papa Tsouk’s meatloaf and mashed potatoes. The next had a salad and the special dressing Sophie said was a family recipe.

  Jake must’ve gone to the tavern and asked Sophie what to get for her because Faith knew she’d never said anything to him about this being her favorite meal.

  And for him to show up at her apartment with it…

  Happy tears popped into her eyes and she blinked them away before he could see them. She didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. Because, honestly, she had the almost uncontrollable urge to drag him off to her bed right now and not let him out of it until the food was cold and they were both sweaty and even more hungry.

  The only reason she didn’t was because she figured he was starving, if the amount of food he continued to pull out of that bag was any indication.

  In addition to her meal and the salad, he pulled out another three entrée boxes. One held chicken parmesan and spaghetti, another held pork chops and Brussel sprouts, and the last one…

  She groaned. “Is that baklava? And chocolate cake?”

  He shrugged. “Of course. What is dinner without dessert? Come, sit down. I am starving. Practice was brutal.”

  Shaking her head, she pulled out a chair then paused before she sat. “What do you want to drink? I might have some wine—”

  “Milk would be good. And water, too.”

  She resisted the urge to say something about him being a boy scout but honestly, she never had alcohol with dinner unless she was out, so milk was fine with her.

  After she got them glasses and water for him, she brought them to the table then eased onto the chair, realizing he stood until she sat.

  “And how was your day?”

  She didn’t answer right away as they started to dish out food. Since there was more food here than she would eat in a week of dinners, her plate was considerably less full than his. His was piled high with some of everything.

  As he started to dig in, she told him about a few moments with a couple of the students that had brightened her day and one that had made her grit her teeth.

  There were days when the bureaucracy of education really pissed her off. Like the amount of money they were owed by the state but couldn’t collect until they’d passed certain thresholds.

  She didn’t mention anything about the worries she had over the school’s finances, didn’t want to think about the possibility of having to take another job tonight.

  Like the job in Charlotte.

  Right now, she simply wanted to enjoy being here, with him. Sharing such a simple moment together and making her feel completely normal.

  “What about you? How was your day?”

  Frowning at her, he looked at her plate then back up at her. “You are not hungry?”

  She made a face and took another bite of Papa Tsouk’s yummy meatloaf.

  “I’m eating. I just don’t need five thousand calories to refuel after my day of sitting behind a desk. What about you? How was practice?”

  He swallowed and took a drink before he answered. “I am glad to be back on the ice. And I heard interesting news today.”

  He paused, and she had the sense he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell her anything more. But after a slight shake of his head, he leaned back in his chair, blue eyes locked on hers.

  “Coach Mann will be at game Friday to evaluate Brody. And me.”

  Ignoring the sudden tightness in her chest, Faith forced herself to nod and smile. “I don’t recognize the name. Is he from the Colonials?”

  He nodded, his gaze narrowing a little. “Yes. He is assistant coach. Is good for Brody, yes, although he says he is not yet ready to go back to Colonials. I don’t know what it means for me. Yet. It could mean nothing.”

  “But it could be they’re looking at you to play for them, right? Are you ready for that?”

  “Yes.” His tone held pure confidence. “But…”

  She waited for him to continue, heart pounding in her throat for no reason she could put her finger on. And when he didn’t, she had to ask.

  “But what?”

  He shrugged slowly, watching her so closely, she almost felt compelled to look away. But she couldn’t.

  “I am worried I leave behind my teammates when they need me and we are playing well. And I worry about leaving you. We have just started dating and I am not sure I want to leave you to forget about me.”

  Surprise stole the breath from her lungs as a flare of heat low in her body made her thighs clench. She tried to hide her reaction by shifting in her seat, which just made the seam in her pants rub against her clit, sending a sharp jolt of lust throughout her body.

  It wasn’t fair that he could do that to her with only a few ordinary words.

  “I…don’t know what to say to that.” Except for this. “We’ve been on two dates, Jake. We don’t—”

  “I am sure of what I want.” The conviction in his gaze never wavered. “I want you. I have known that for several months. Now is time to explore what we have together. I don’t want to miss this opportunity.”

  She wasn’t sure how to respond to that, her brain whipping around his declaration that he wanted to be with her.

  “I want to be with you,” he continued. “And I don’t want you to forget how good we are together. So we will work this out. Together.”

  “Work what out? There’s nothing to work out. When you go to Philadelphia, you’ll be busy. Your focus will have to be on hockey. I would just be a distraction.”

  “You have been distraction for months and I have managed just fine.”

  Her lips parted but she had to think about a coherent response to that.

  “Months?” was all she could come up with.

  “Yes.”

  “But… You barely said anything to me all that time.”

  “Our time is now. I want you. I want my career. I plan to have it all.”

  She shook her head, amused, bemused, and confused in equal parts. “You can’t have everything. Life just doesn’t work that way for most people.”

  “It can.” Jake’s voice held total confidence. “You have to work for it and believe you can do it.”

  “Maybe that happens for some people but not for most of us.”

  He set his fork down and gave her his undivided attention. “Are you telling me you are not willing to try?”

  “Try what?”

  Jake took a few seconds, watching her closely, as if he could read her mind.

  Then he picked up his fork again. “I think you are right. We do not need to talk about this now. Tell me why you looked the way you did when you were on the phone earlier.”

  Head spinning from the whiplash change in the conversation, she answered his question without really thinking about it.

  “My mom was doing her daily check-in.”

  “Daily.”

  Her back went rigid, though she tried not to let it show. “Yes.”

  He nodded and had a few more bites of food, not saying anything more.

  But she knew what he was thinking because it was exactly what she was thinking.

  Every day wasn’t healthy. It was codependent. Clingy. Borderline pathetic.

  She’d wanted to tell her mom they had to stop for months. But she hadn’t been able to do it yet.

  Sighing, she picked at the food on her plate, eating a few more bites, trying to think of some way to get the conversation back to a safer subject.
/>   But Jake had other ideas.

  “Do you want to talk to your mom every day? Does it help you?”

  Could the damn man read her mind? She wanted to ignore his question but…

  Okay, honestly, no, she didn’t want to ignore it. She hadn’t talked to anyone about this and she wanted to talk to Jake. Wanted to tell him her secrets and know that she could trust him.

  “At first it did.”

  “And now?”

  Their gazes connected again and she knew she had his complete attention. With anyone else, that might have felt invasive. With Jake, it made her want to spill her guts.

  “It’s too much. I feel like I’m suffocating. After the accident… My parents were amazing. My mom quit her job to care for me. She didn’t hesitate. She was by my side twenty-four/seven for practically a year. I kind of figured that when I got better and Jimmy and I got married, she’d step aside. Go back to her life. Then Jimmy bailed and…”

  She shrugged, not knowing what else to say about that because she could see the anger in Jake’s eyes and it fascinated her. Warmed her from the inside out.

  “He is major asshole. He should hope to never meet me. I will beat him senseless.”

  Because it was similar to something her mom had said not long after Jimmy had bailed on her at the wedding, she grinned, making Jake frown.

  “Why do you smile?”

  “Because my mom said pretty much the same thing once.”

  “Your mother loves you.”

  Her brain skipped a beat.

  “But it sounds like she has become too attached,” Jake continued. “If you don’t want to talk to her every day, you have to draw a line and you have to keep to that line. I miss my mom and my brother, but I know we would not talk every day even if we could. There should still be some…space between parents and children. Yes? It sounds like you and your mother do not have much space.”

  Instead of playing with the remainder of the food on her plate, which she knew she wasn’t going to finish, she got up and walked to the trash can, cleaning off her plate and putting it into the dishwasher. It gave her a little time to think because she was still having trouble thinking clearly.