On the Edge of Darkness

by Barbara Erskine

  Jane smiled and shook her head. ‘My dears, I’ve heard of nobody. Tell me.’ She looked at Beth expectantly.

  Liza noticed that she had hardly touched her food and frowned, but she said nothing. She turned to Beth. ‘Go on, you’d better confess.’

  Beth blushed. ‘All right. So I fancy him desperately! So what? He’s married, but everyone knows his wife is a terrible flirt. In fact they say she’s had several affairs. Poor Giles! I don’t know why he puts up with it! Don’t listen to Liza, Granny Jane. She teases me about him like mad and it’s not fair. She introduced us, after all. She practically threw me at him.’

  ‘Rubbish.’ Liza smiled comfortably. ‘When Hibberds published a book about my painting I used to go up to their London office sometimes. Bob Cassie introduced me to Giles at a party and he and I talked because he was writing a history of the Black Mountains. What was more natural than that I should ask him to come and stay?’

  ‘She fancied him herself, Granny,’ Beth put in pertly.

  ‘I did not!’ Liza laughed. ‘Or at least not in any serious way. He’s thirty years younger than me – ’

  ‘Which makes him perfect for me! And while the cat’s away, the mouse shall play, with a bit of luck.’

  ‘You be careful, dear.’ Jane gave a gentle smile. ‘You don’t want to get hurt.’

  ‘I won’t!’

  When at last they stood up to go, Liza put her arm round Jane’s thin shoulders. ‘One day will you come to the farm to see us? Please. Surely Adam can spare you for a few days?’

  ‘He wouldn’t notice if I wasn’t there at all.’ Jane met her gaze steadily. ‘I don’t think I’ll come, Liza. You and Beth are happy. And safe. Let’s leave it that way.’

  ‘What did she mean, safe?’ Beth asked the moment they had waved Jane off in her taxi to St Pancras Station.

  Liza shrugged. ‘I don’t think she wants us to know how bad Adam is. It’s terrible when someone drinks.’

  ‘But he wouldn’t come. He hates me.’

  ‘He does not hate you, sweetheart.’ Liza frowned crossly. ‘I don’t know where you’ve got this idea from. He is a very unhappy man, that’s all. You would remind him of Calum.’

  ‘And my mother.’

  ‘And your mother.’ She nodded with a little sad smile.

  ‘So.’ Beth took a deep breath. ‘He’s not violent, is he? He doesn’t beat up Granny Jane or anything like that?’

  ‘No, sweetheart, he doesn’t do anything like that.’ Liza sighed. She had never mentioned Brid to Beth and had no intention of doing so now. After all, what was there to mention? An old man’s obsession? A ghost story going back fifty years? She did not let herself think about a murder on a mountain road on a frosty winter’s night.

  As Adam drank, so his life force diminished, sucked dry by Brid’s insatiable demands. He grew weaker and as he did so, so did she.

  ‘I did warn him.’ Robert was standing in the sitting room, his back to the fire, looking down at Jane who was seated on the sofa. Adam had not yet come back to the house and as far as she knew they had the place to themselves. Today was one of the days she had gone upstairs to the spare room, changed the sheets, put flowers on the small dressing table, opened the window wide to let in the cold damp afternoon air and defiantly made the sign of the cross above the bed.

  ‘He wasn’t exactly drunk, but I could smell the drink on his breath ten feet away. God knows what his patients thought. I’m sorry, Jane, but it reflects on the practice.’

  She nodded wearily. ‘I will speak to him, Robert.’

  ‘You have to, because there won’t be another chance. If it happens again, that’s it. We’ll have to ask him to resign.’ He looked round the room and lowered his voice. ‘How are you coping, my dear?’

  She smiled. ‘All the better for knowing you are there, Robert. I don’t think I could do it on my own.’ She wasn’t sure how much he knew; how much anyone, except Liza, knew. After all, Brid was never seen outside the house. To outward appearances they were just an ordinary, rather worn-out couple who had perhaps seen too much of each other over the years and grown bored with their marriage. No one knew they slept apart. Quite a few people, she suspected, must know that Adam drank.

  She was sitting on her own in front of the Six o’Clock News when Adam came home at last. She heard the door bang and waited to hear him run up the stairs. For once he didn’t. He walked slowly into the sitting room and stood looking down at her. His face was grey with fatigue. ‘Did Robert come to see you?’

  She nodded.

  ‘He told you what happened?’

  ‘He gave me a rough idea. What possessed you to go to work like that? You are a fool, Adam.’ She spoke without any particular rancour. It was merely a statement.

  ‘Have you any idea of the strain I’m under?’ He sat down abruptly on the edge of a chair and brought his hands up to his face, rubbing wearily against the rasp of an unshaven chin. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

  She stared at him. ‘If you’re tired perhaps we could go away on holiday somewhere. We haven’t had a break for years. I know Robert would give you the time off.’ Only too gladly, she suspected. She did not expect him to agree. He never had in the past.

  ‘It would be nice.’ He threw himself back against the cushions with a sigh. ‘I don’t know how to get rid of her, Janie.’ His voice broke. ‘I’m so tired! I just want her to go away.’

  Jane stared at him in amazement. ‘How long have you felt like this?’ she whispered at last.

  He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Months. Years. When she’s here I can’t think. I can’t eat. I can’t do anything. I know how much I’ve hurt you. I just don’t seem to be able to function as a normal human being. I can see myself throwing away my career, what’s left of it, my reputation, my home – you. I’ve hurt you so much.’ There were tears in his eyes. ‘Help me, Janie.’

  Jane stood up. ‘Do you mean it?’ She felt suddenly strong again. Walking over to him she leaned down towards him and put her hands on his shoulders. Kissing him on the top of his head she smiled. ‘Leave it to me.’

  ‘Jane –’ As she walked resolutely towards the door he called to her in sudden panic. ‘Be careful. What are you going to do?’

  ‘Just have a word upstairs. You wait here. Then, my darling, you and I are going out for a meal!’ She ran up the stairs two at a time, her heart singing with joy and relief. At last! She had waited for so long for this moment! She couldn’t believe that he had seen sense; that he had come back to her. She wasn’t afraid. Adam’s love was all she needed. She remembered Liza’s warnings over the years and her instructions on how to protect herself, and, round her neck she wore the little cross that Liza had made for her. She wasn’t sure why she had kept it all these years, together with the crushed fragments of the amulet tree; she didn’t believe that Liza had some particular hotline to a guardian angel somewhere up there in the sky, but the thought of having the crumpled pieces in her pocket gave her just that little bit of strength she needed to walk into the spare room, flinging the door back against the wall, to confront Brid.

  The room was empty.

  She looked round, feeling cheated. There was no sign of her. The room was just as she had left it earlier that afternoon, with the bed still made, the window slightly open onto the damp cold darkness, the curtains drawn right back against the wall. It felt empty and … spare.

  She hesitated in the doorway for a moment, not quite believing what she saw, then she turned and closing the door behind her she ran back down the stairs. ‘She’s not there.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘You knew?’ Suddenly she was furious. ‘You mean she’s gone. That’s why you’ve decided to come back to reality.’

  ‘No. But she doesn’t come unless I’m here, does she? Otherwise, what would be the point? By the time I got upstairs she would be there.’

  Jane stared at him. ‘All right then. Come on. You come up with me. Call her and tell her it’s over.’

>   ‘I can’t.’

  ‘Yes, you can. Here. This will give you the strength.’ She held the small wooden cross with its red thread out to him. He took it and stared at it, then suddenly he burst into laughter. ‘Why do I have a feeling that I know who gave you this?’

  ‘Yes, it was Liza. It will keep you safe.’

  ‘You think so?’ He threw the cross towards the hearth. Too light to go any distance, it fell at his feet. ‘Nothing can keep me safe, Jane. Nothing. Brid is stronger than any of us. There is no fighting her.’

  ‘Rubbish!’ She leaned forward and caught his hand. ‘Come on, let’s go upstairs and finish this.’

  ‘No, Jane. Let’s just go out for the evening.’ He drew her to him. ‘Please, my darling. I want to get out of this house.’

  ‘So do I, but I don’t want to be afraid to come back, Adam.’ Tugging his hand, she dragged him to the door. ‘Come on. It will only take a minute. Then you’ll be free.’

  Pausing, she released his hand for a second and ran back to pick up the cross. The slim gold chain had become tangled in it and as she pulled at it gently to free the catch, the cross, brittle with age, broke and crumbled in her hand. She stared at it in shock. ‘My cross!’ Tiny fragments of red silk clung to her fingers. ‘Adam, my cross!’

  He looked down at it and shook his head. ‘You don’t really think that has kept you safe from her, Jane? If she had wanted to hurt you she would have done it by now.’ He sighed.

  She looked down at the small fragments of twig in her hand then, reluctantly, she let them fall to the carpet and dusted her palms together. ‘Come on then. Let’s go up.’

  Slowly he followed her up the stairs. She paused on the landing. She had left the spare room door open, she was sure of it. Open to let the cool damp draught sweep through the house. Now it was closed, and she could smell the hot feral smell that always seemed to follow Brid whenever she was there. She saw Adam hesitate and she took his arm and gave it a squeeze. ‘You can do it. Just tell her it’s over. Tell her to go.’

  ‘She won’t go, Janie.’

  ‘She will if you’re strong enough.’ She reached up and kissed his cheek. ‘Between us we can do it. Then we’ll go out and celebrate!’

  He looked down at her doubtfully. She had let go of his arm, and he was conscious of the place where her fingers had been. It felt cold.

  ‘Go on,’ she whispered. She felt naked without the cross. Firmly she pushed the feeling away. All she had to do was be there for Adam. He would deal with Brid.

  Reluctantly he stepped forward and put his hand on the door knob. ‘Are you sure about this?’ he said over his shoulder.

  ‘Yes.’ She gave him a little push. ‘Go on.’

  Slowly he turned the handle and pushed open the door. Brid was standing just inside the room. She was wearing a long green dress, and her hair was clipped back in a silver filigree pin carved in the shape of a leaping salmon. She was looking straight at him and yet he had the feeling that she did not see him at all.

  A-dam …

  The words appeared to come to him from a great distance.

  A-dam, why are you cross with me?

  ‘It’s time for you to go.’ Jane’s voice seemed suddenly very loud beside him. ‘Adam doesn’t want you any more. We want you to leave our house.’

  Brid was still looking towards Adam and he had the strong impression that she hadn’t heard Jane’s words. She took a step forwards, and Jane, in spite of herself stepped back.

  A-dam, I love you. Where are you, A-dam?

  She moved closer and Jane moved back once again. She was out on the landing again now. She should have kept the fragments of the cross. In her pocket they would have given her strength. ‘Go away, Brid!’ Her voice was still strong. ‘Adam, say something! Make her go away.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Brid.’ Adam had turned to look at his wife. He smiled, then he looked at Brid again. ‘You must go. I’m tired.’

  Brid looked towards him and she seemed to focus on his face for the first time. Tired? She spoke at him, and Jane realised suddenly that her words seemed to come from somewhere far away, inside her own head, not from the woman’s lips at all.

  Poor A-dam. Brid will make you better. She moved towards Adam, her hands outstretched.

  ‘No!’ Jane cried. ‘Don’t touch him. Go away!’

  Brid spun round, seeming to see her for the first time, and she frowned. ‘You are not good for him,’ she said almost gently. ‘You must go. Not me.’ Her eyes widened suddenly as she saw that the cross had gone; the small cross with its vibrating pulses of protective light was no longer at Jane’s throat.

  She stepped forward past Adam and out onto the landing.

  ‘Adam!’ Jane’s voice became shrill with fear. ‘Tell her!’

  Go away. A-dam does not want you.

  The hand Brid stretched out towards Jane barely seemed to move, but it made contact violently with Jane’s chest. One moment Jane was standing on the landing, the next she had stepped backwards into space and was falling down the stairs.

  There was a small sharp cry as she fell, the thud of her body as she landed, and then complete silence.

  ‘Jane!’ Adam screamed. ‘Jane, are you all right?’

  She has gone. Brid smiled at him. Come, my love. She reached out to take his hand.

  Adam pushed past her and ran to the top of the stairs. ‘Jane? Jane! Oh my God, Jane, are you all right?’ He leaped down two steps at a time.

  Without touching her he could see that she was dead. Her neck was twisted, her head at a strange angle against the wall.

  ‘Jane?’ It was a whisper. He knelt beside her and felt under her ear. But he knew it was no use. She was dead. Jane was dead.

  For a moment he stayed where he was, staring down at her in disbelief, then he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder. Brid had followed him downstairs.

  A-dam, come upstairs. I love you, A-dam.

  He stood up. He was shaking violently. Turning he stared at Brid for several seconds, unable even to speak. ‘Do you realise what you have done?’ he said at last, his voice strangled. ‘You stupid, vicious, despicable little cow!’

  Brid looked down and shrugged. ‘Come to bed, A-dam,’ she said without emotion. ‘Do not worry about her. She was not good for you. You love me.’

  ‘Not any more.’ His voice had gone suddenly very quiet. ‘Get out of my house!’

  ‘A-dam, I love you. I want to make love.’ She came to him and rested her head against his shoulder. A new strength enveloped her, an energy snatched from the dying woman. It felt good. ‘Please, A-dam. It will be good now she is not there. We will have the house all by ourselves.’

  Adam pulled away from her violently. ‘Get out,’ he hissed. ‘Get out, get out, get out!’ His voice had risen to a shout. ‘You bitch! You murdering little whore! You Jezebel! Hellcat! Get out. I never want to see you again!’

  ‘A-dam.’ She stepped away from him, puzzled. ‘A-dam, why are you cross?’

  ‘Because you have killed one of the only people I ever really loved, that is why I am cross.’ Suddenly his anger had gone. Tears began to run down his face. Throwing himself down on his knees again he cradled Jane’s head against his chest. A small trickle of blood had found its way from the corner of her mouth and as he turned her face towards him it smeared his shirt. ‘Jane!’ He sobbed her name out loud. ‘Jane, my darling, I’m so sorry. Oh my God, how am I going to live with this?’

  Brid stepped away from him, staring down, a puzzled frown on her face. ‘I will come back again,’ she said in a small hurt voice. ‘A-dam is cross with Brid.’

  He ignored her. He had taken one of Jane’s hands and was chafing it desperately as though trying to bring some warmth back into her body.

  A-dam, I love you.

  The words were only faint now in his head. He did not look up.

  Beth found Liza sitting by the telephone in the dark. ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’ She switched on the light. ‘Liza, what’
s happened? It’s freezing in here.’

  ‘What?’ Liza looked up and stared at her.

  ‘Liza?’ Beth stooped and put her arms around Liza’s shoulders. ‘Come on. You’ve been crying. What’s wrong?’

  ‘It’s your Granny Jane.’ Liza groped in her jeans pocket for a tissue and wiped her eyes with it. ‘She’s dead.’

  Beth stepped back in shock. ‘Granny Jane? But she’s not old!’ It was a cry of protest. ‘What happened?’

  Liza shrugged. ‘That was Robert Harding, your grandfather’s partner, on the phone. It appears she fell downstairs and broke her neck.’ She broke into sobs again.

  ‘And how is Grandfather?’ Beth was stunned.

  Liza shrugged. ‘Not good. Drunk.’ She shook her head miserably. ‘Robert doesn’t know what to do. He’s seen to the police and everything, but he wants me to go. There is no one else.’

  ‘You can’t go.’ Beth caught her hand. ‘Liza, I need you here.’ She was not sure why, but she was suddenly afraid.

  Liza shrugged. ‘I have no choice, Beth. Adam has no one left now.’

  Except Brid.

  She did not say the words out loud, but they seemed to hang in the air around her.

  As she had done so often over the years, Liza sat in her car in front of the house looking up at the first floor windows for a while before climbing out. She shivered. The house looked strangely blank, as though the heart had gone out of it. The front garden was untidy. Someone had chucked a Coke can over the hedge and no one had bothered to remove it. It was already rusting as it lay on the grass in full view of the path. With a sigh she walked up to the front and rang the bell. There was no reply.

  When eventually she walked around to the back and peered into the windows she could see Adam sitting at his desk. His head was buried in his arms and he appeared to be asleep. She banged on the window.

  ‘Adam!’