DEREK'S MATCH

by Jami Gallardo

  S: Come on, you didn’t really want to do it. I’m letting you off the hook. You should be thanking me

  D: Thank you

  S: You’re welcome. Goodbye, Derek

  I sign off the app without waiting for his response. This guy is way more obnoxious than I thought he was. What a shame. There really is no such thing as a perfect man.

  I find myself going to his Instagram profile. He has over 115 million followers. His posts consist of a lot of pictures and videos of himself with a couple of ads thrown here and there which is not surprising. I suppose people follow him to see him and he must love it. There are a lot of shirtless pictures of him.

  It’s hard not to admire how perfect his chest is. It’s so smooth looking and he has an actual six pack. His abs are so perfectly shaped on his abdomen. He may be an asshole but he’s a good-looking asshole.

  Again, what a shame.

  During my lurking, I find out that there’s been drama going on between Derek and Sadie Brown, his ex-girlfriend. Apparently, she broke up with him two weeks ago via her Instagram stories which sounds horrible. I end up on her Instagram page. She’s also an actress; not as famous as Derek, though I’m sure his popularity helped boost hers.

  Through research, I find out that they’ve been on and off for a couple of years now. Still, it’s pretty horrible what she did to him and I kind of feel sorry for him. It was fun to reject him but now he’s going to be made fun of on social media again.

  And why do I care?

  He’s a stranger for God's sake and he’s rude and entitled. He probably got what he deserved. I put my phone down and try to get some sleep. It’s been a long night and it takes some time for my body to unwind.

  When I do find sleep, Derek Collins appears in my dreams.

  4. girl from the bar

  DEREK

  “Dude, what the fuck?”

  “What?” I ask as I glance at my best friend, Ian, before turning my attention back to the video game.

  “Have you not seen this?” He asks putting his phone way too close to my face.

  I pull my head back then frown in annoyance when I get killed on the game because of him. “What?” I ask again.

  “The MATCH ME app is a scam.” He reads off his phone. “If Derek Collins can’t get matched with the right person, then it’s obvious that the app doesn't work..” He looks up at me. “This is blowing up, man.”

  “What do you want me to do?” I ask him as I stand up and make my way to the kitchen.

  “I don’t know, do something!” He says as he follows me. “It’s been one day and the ratings are already down.” He shakes his head. “Give it a couple more days and it will all be over.”

  I open a beer and take a sip. I look at him and kind of feel sorry for him.

  Ian and I met a couple of years ago when I moved back to New York after living most of my life in Paris. We met through a mutual friend and we’ve been best friends ever since. I've seen firsthand how hard he’s worked for this app. He paid his way through college to get his degree in Software Development. Back then, he didn’t know what kind of software or apps he wanted to come up with but he knew he wanted to do something in that field.

  His dating app, MATCH ME, has been a real hit in a very short amount of time. It’s been the #1 dating app for a few months now and it’s what everyone is talking about. I do feel somewhat responsible for the bad reviews it’s getting now. If I would’ve known what was going to happen, I never would’ve agreed to try it in front of all of those people at the bar last night. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would get rejected. It’s still sore in my mind.

  “What can I do?” I ask him. “Do you want me to go live on Instagram? Say a bunch of shit to convince people it’s a good app?”

  “They’re not going to buy that.” He says shaking his head.

  I shrug. “Then I don’t know what you want me to do, man. I don’t like the fact that she turned me down any more than you do.”

  He chuckles. “Yeah, that was pretty wild.”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Oh, so you think that’s funny, huh?”

  “It was kind of fun to see you get turned down. Now you know how the rest of us feel.”

  I think back to what happened last night. It was just another Friday night out in the city. Ian frequents the bar we went to. I’ve been to Culinary Drop-Out once or twice. I knew that people would recognize me but I sure as hell didn’t know that the night was going to end like it did.

  I wanted to be a good best friend and please my fans. That’s why I agreed to use Ian’s app. I thought it wouldn’t look good for him if I denied the request. I remember thinking: what’s the worst that can happen? I end up going on a date with an obsessive fan? That didn’t seem too bad. And then I get matched with the pretty girl at the other side of the bar and I realized quickly that going on a date with an obsessive fan is not the worst that could’ve happened.

  Pretty comes short, really. She was hot and stunning with dark brown eyes and wavy hair that ran down her shoulders. And that attitude—it was a turn on. I like my women with character. I thought I had hit the jackpot with her. So imagine my disbelief when she turned me down.

  Me. Derek fucking Collins. I don’t work this hard to get turned down by the hottest girl in the bar. And now my best friend is making fun of me as if it weren’t bad enough already.

  “You deserve what’s happening.” I decide, only half-joking.

  He frowns. “Come on, don’t be like that.”

  “It’ll fade off,” I say with a shrug. “People will move on to the next thing by tonight.”

  He shakes his head. “You don’t get it.”

  “I don’t know to help you, man.”

  I walk back to the couch and sit down. I pull my phone out.

  “Who is she?” Ian asks as he sits next to me.

  “Who?”

  “The girl from the bar,” He says. “Your match. What’s her name?”

  “Savannah.” I tell him as I log into my Instagram. “I like Gin better, to be honest.”

  “You need to get her to go out with you,” Ian says after a moment.

  I frown. “What?”

  “That's the only way to fix this, Derek,” He says excitedly. I can almost see the lightbulb on top of his head. “You need to get her to go out with you. Then people will believe in my app again.”

  I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to see her again but still...

  “She clearly doesn't want to go out with me,” I say, trying not to sound too bitter.

  I still don’t understand why she turned me down? Women throw themselves at me all the time. I’m not used to this. I saw the way she looked at me. I could tell she found me attractive, so why deny me? Especially in front of all of those people. People are still laughing at me on Twitter. At least they’ve moved on from Sadie’s little show, I guess.

  “So turn her no into a yes.”

  I shrug. “Why would I want to do that?”

  “Because you owe me.”

  I turn to look at him and narrow my eyes. “It’s not my fault your app matched me with the only woman who would say no to me. As far as I know, this is your fault.”

  “My app works, man,” Ian says looking amused. “She’s your match for a reason. Maybe she’s just as stubborn as you.”

  I sigh as I go back to my Instagram feed. “What exactly do you want me to do?”

  “Track her down and convince her to date you for a couple of weeks, maybe a month. Just so people believe in my app again because I know it works. I don’t know what the hell happened last night but it works.” He insists. I can tell this is really getting to him.

  I wouldn’t say this to him because I know how much faith he has in it, but I don’t think his app actually works. I think that it’s a great app to meet new people, like any other dating app, but I don’t think that it’s any different from the others. I’ve never really believed in dating apps. Then again, I’ve never used on
e before last night. I just wish Ian would’ve come up with something different. Maybe a new video game or a new app game. Those would be way less complicated than this.

  “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “You’re Derek Collins, use your charm.” He smirks. “You know, it would drive Sadie crazy if she saw you with another girl this soon after your break-up.”

  Now that grabs my attention.

  Sadie and I met in Paris 8 years ago, when we were both 17 years old. My modeling career was just kicking off. I met her at a fashion show and we hit it off very quickly. It was super easy with her back then, but we ended up breaking up a year later just to get back together a few months later. It’s been on and off ever since. I can’t seem to be able to stay away from her. I don’t know if it’s love or maybe I’m just used to being with her. In a way, it feels like I’m going to end up marrying her one day.

  I know it’s completely crazy to still think this after what she did to me but, fuck, we just have so much history together. It wouldn’t make sense to not end up with her.

  The thought of getting back at her by getting together with someone else is too good to pass. Ian is right. It would drive her crazy. No matter what she says, I know she’s just as into me as I am into her. She deserves to suffer a little after what she did. I still think about that stupid video she uploaded to her Instagram story.

  “Derek,” She said as she looked into the front camera of her phone. She seemed to be at a nightclub, her phone case lighting illuminated her face. She was with her girlfriends and I could hear them laughing and cheering her on as she spoke. “I've been thinking about us and I don’t think I want to be with you anymore. It’s over.”

  She had the audacity to tag me in her story. I was the laughing stock for two whole weeks. It was in all the gossip TV shows and all over social media.

  Derek Collins gets dumped over Instagram.

  Actress Sadie Brown breaks up with Derek Collins through her Instagram.

  Thinking about it is making me get angry all over again. Fuck. Why do I still want her? She’s just so damn beautiful. I seem to be addicted to her.

  I think about Gin, the girl from the bar. We would look really good together. It would drive Sadie mad.

  “What if I can’t convince her?” I wonder aloud. Gin doesn’t look like the type of girl who will jump at the opportunity of becoming my girlfriend. She wouldn’t even go on one date with me.

  Seriously, what is wrong with her?

  “Find a way to convince her. Everyone has a price.”

  I look at Ian. “You’re telling me I should pay her to be my fake girlfriend?”

  He shrugs. “That doesn't sound like a bad plan.”

  “You’re fucking crazy.” I shake my head with a grin.

  “Come on let’s play,” He says picking up the control. “I need to take my mind off of this dipshit.”

  I set my phone down and pick up my controller. His suggestion lingers in my head as we play the video game. I know I need to do something to help him and if I can get back at Sadie at the same time, well, it would be like killing two birds with one stone.

  The only problem is Gin. I don’t think she likes me very much for some reason. She seemed very determined with her denial last night. Would she agree to do something like this? Maybe if I find out what she lacks. I wouldn’t mind paying her if it came to it. I have more money than I ever thought I would have. If I find a way to convince her, she could be my date to the upcoming movie premiere I have in two months. I worked with Sadie on that movie so she’s going to be there and I’ve seriously considered not showing up to the premier after what happened, but it wouldn’t be that bad if I showed up with a date.

  It does sound like a good plan.

  I just have to find a way to convince her. I don’t even know where to find her. I wonder if she’s a college girl. She probably is. I know a lot of college students go to that bar. It’s how Ian started going.

  I’m such an idiot. Why haven’t I looked her up on social media? I know her name is Savannah Garcia, it was on her profile in the dating app. I know how good social media apps are when you want to find someone.

  I only have to go through four different profiles before I find her. Her account is public. Hallelujah. I click on her most recent post. It’s a selfie of her and the friend she was with the other night at the bar. She’s a real looker. They’re wearing chef uniforms and are standing outside. The caption is chefs in training. And there's a location. I Google it and it turns out to be a culinary school in the city. So she’s a culinary student. Wow. I’m impressed though she did look like the type of girl that has her shit together.

  I make a mental note to tell her how easy it was to find her through social media. It’s not safe. Though I know everyone does it. The pictures that I post are usually a couple of hours after they happened. I was actually taught on how and what to post on social media back when my followers began to turn into thousands.

  I hit the blue button and follow her on Instagram. I smirk, wondering what she’s going to think. Hell, she might block me. It doesn't matter. I know where to find her. All I have to do is convince her now.

  Derek Collins is about to turn a no into a yes.

  5. self-entitled rich guys

  SAVANNAH

  “Are you okay?”

  I nod at Kim as I take a long sip from my water bottle. “I’m so glad it’s over.”

  It’s Monday afternoon and we just had an exam. I do feel a bit light-headed but that’s probably because I didn’t get a lot of sleep and I haven’t had anything to eat. I did the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to do before exams. I didn’t get out of work until midnight last night and I had to wake up at five this morning. I’m exhausted. I don’t have class after this and I don’t work until four, so I can go home and finally get some sleep.

  A lot of people from class approached me this morning before we started the exam. They all saw what happened with Derek Collins on Friday night. I’ve been trying to forget all about it but it’s impossible when everyone seems to be talking about it. It’s been all over social media. At least the attention is on the app now. Derek Collins followed me on Instagram the other day. Me. A celebrity with a blue check mark next to their name is following me on Instagram. Why in the world would he follow me? And how did he find me? I’m sure he got my name from the MATCH ME app. I should’ve known better than to put my real name on it. I should’ve gone with Smith or Jones as my last name. Something popular but, most importantly, fake.

  Now I have a bunch of Derek Collins’ fan accounts following me. Maybe I should make my account private. I’ve always had it public. It doesn’t really matter to me because I always clean it out by deleting old pictures from time to time. Yes. I’m weird.

  “Oh my god,” Kim suddenly says grabbing my arm and making me come to a stop.

  I look at her. “What?”

  “Is that Derek Collins?” She whispers nodding her head.

  I follow her gaze and sure enough, Derek Collins is leaning against a wall around the corner from where we were walking. It looks like he’s posing for a photoshoot. He’s wearing jeans with a white T-shirt and a black leather jacket. He has a black cap and sunglasses which is probably an effort to hide his face but I would know that jawline anywhere.

  He nods at me with a smirk on his face when he sees me.

  “What is he doing here?” I ask.

  “I think he’s here for his date.”

  I roll my eyes. “This guy just can’t take a no, can he?”

  “Go.” Kim urges pushing me forward.

  I hesitate, not really wanting to go. I don’t know why he’s here and I don’t like it. I already turned him down, why can’t he just take it like a man? Deep down, I know that the real reason I don’t want to talk to him is because I know he can make me change my mind and I don’t want to. I want him to take my no and learn a thing or two about rejection.

  I finally take a deep breath an
d walk forward towards him. He takes his foot off the wall and straightens up as he takes off his sunglasses.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask him when I reach him. “How did you even find me?”

  “Instagram,” He says winking at me. “It took less than three seconds to figure out where you go to school. You should consider taking the location off your pictures.”

  Instagram. Of course.

  “I’ll add the location if I want to.” I tell him, stubbornly. He might have a point but I’m not about to admit it. “Did you come here to tell me how I should be posting my pictures?”