The Complete Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances Series, books 1-5

by Michelle Mankin

  You’re making a big mistake, I silently told my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

  “You ready?” Diesel banged on the closed door.

  I turned my head, experiencing a head-to-toe shiver merely from the sound of his deep voice. “In just a minute.” I dropped my gaze to the bottle of prenatal vitamins in my hand.

  You should tell him before you fall for him any further. I lifted my head and stared into my eyes.

  You can’t hold on to something based on a lie. Diesel had said it, and I knew it was the truth.

  But we weren’t something. Not on his side. On mine, I knew it was already too late to turn back. Telling him about the pregnancy wouldn’t miraculously change anything. It would only hasten the inevitable end.

  I filled a glass with water and took the vitamin, swallowing the huge pill and the bitter truth in one big gulp. After returning the bottle to my makeup bag, I zipped it and placed it back in the drawer. Pasting on a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes, I smoothed my sundress for another day of wear and opened the door.

  Diesel was right outside. “You look nice.” Sweeping an appreciative gaze over me, he uncrossed his arms and pushed away from the wall where he’d been leaning. “What do you want to eat?”

  He brushed my loose hair back over my shoulders. I shivered from the warmth and tenderness of his touch.

  “Is Paradise open this late for lunch?”

  “It’s open from eleven every day until midnight.”

  “I like their tacos. I’m pretty hungry.”

  “Me too.” His eyes darkened to nearly black. “We worked up an appetite.”

  I nodded and licked my dry lips. I would never forget the feel of his hands on my hips as I hung from the bar and he’d pulled me onto his cock.

  “Love your mouth.” The pads of his fingers skimming the sensitive skin beneath my hair, he cradled the base of my skull in his hands and pressed his lips to mine.

  I parted my lips for his tongue, sucking on it and savoring the rumble of his deep, approving groan. He broke the kiss too soon. Boneless, I sagged into him, already throbbing again between my legs. I wanted him so badly.

  Diesel stared down at me, his hands still in my hair, crescents on either side of his talented mouth. Dazed, I slowly blinked up at him.

  “We’d better get going. If you keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna walk you back to my bed and keep you there all day.” His grin widening, he removed his hands from my hair and placed one on my arm.

  “That doesn’t sound so bad,” I said dreamily as he steered me out of the hall.

  “It wouldn’t be, except I need to keep you fed. Lalana usually stocks the fridge. But since that didn’t happen, we’re out of supplies. We’ll eat at the bar, pick out some groceries at the store and schedule a delivery, and then we can come back home and get you naked again.”

  “Great.” I smiled.

  “You’re easy to please.” He opened the front door and closed it after we were through, releasing my arm to lock it, then took it again to lead me toward his motorcycle.

  Knowing the drill, I waited for him to get on first. I admired his ass as he threw his long leg over the seat.

  “Babe.” He caught me staring. “Get on.”

  “So bossy,” I huffed, but climbed on. I was eager to get my arms around him.

  Diesel squeezed my clasped hands, pressing them closer to his taut abs. I thought about slipping them underneath his tank top, wanting to feel his warmth and smooth skin, but I didn’t want to distract him. I certainly didn’t want to crash.

  He cranked the key, fired the engine, and the wheels rolled off the gravel and bumped onto the smoother asphalt of the road. The wind blowing my hair, I pressed my face and my lips into his back.

  He rumbled his appreciation of the kiss and kicked up the speed. I smiled into his shirt and held on to his waist tighter. He sped along a verdant palm-tree-and-foliage-lined straightaway and leaned into one curve and then another with me clinging to him, and the turquoise ocean clinging to the shore on our left.

  The exhilaration of the ride overwhelmed me, along with the beauty of the surroundings. But mostly it was him, and the way he made me feel like I finally belonged inside my own skin. I couldn’t remember a time that I’d ever been happier.

  Diesel slowed the bike, and I recognized the shops on both sides of the road before Manoa’s Paradise appeared around the next bend. The tires bumped off the pavement, and the gravel crunched beneath them as we rolled to a stop beneath a sea grape tree. I climbed off as he turned the key. Kicking the stand down, he climbed off, and I blushed as he caught me staring at him again.

  “Got Holliewood checking me out.” He grinned.

  I shook my head. “Just Hollie with you.”

  “I like that.”

  He opened his arm, and I scurried my flip-flops across the gravel, aligning my body to his. His strong arm settled onto my shoulder, keeping my feet from lifting off the ground. I felt like I was his, and he was mine. Side by side as a couple, we walked up the steps and entered the building.

  “Yo, Diesel.” The gray-haired man I’d seen sweeping the porch on my first day smiled warmly from behind a long mahogany-topped bar. “Wondered if I’d see you today.”

  “We’re out of food. Need my woman fed.”

  The bartender’s gray brows rose. “Heard about that when your ex tore through here earlier. Is this her?” Eyes a lighter brown than Diesel’s twinkled as they skimmed over me. “Thought she’d be at least ten feet tall to send Lalana packing.”

  “She’s small, but don’t cross her. She breathes fire.” Diesel grinned. “Hollie, this is Manoa. The owner of Paradise, and a good friend of my dad.”

  “I’m happy to meet you,” I said, glancing around at the exposed rafters, the few patrons who seemed to be playing checkers at a back table, and the gleaming teak furniture. “Nice place.”

  “Thanks. It’s cozy. Slow day today. Have a seat wherever you like.” He picked up the bar towel and resumed wiping the bar.

  “Can we sit here?” I moved to the open bar stools in front of him.

  “Absolutely. Can I get you some waters while you look over the selections?” He set two menus in front of us as Diesel sat, and I stepped onto the rung and climbed onto the stool beside him.

  “How about two homemade ginger ales with the waters?” Diesel asked.

  “Coming up.” Manoa turned around, but I noticed him watching us in the mirror on the wall.

  But then Diesel distracted me. Curling his fingers around my nape and drawing me close, he pressed his mouth to mine. I was dazed when he pulled back. With tongue and a little scoring of my bottom lip with his teeth, it hadn’t been a chaste kiss.

  “Thanks.” Diesel leaned forward, grinning around his straw as he took a sip from his drink.

  “Thank you,” I repeated to Manoa, doing the same, and then hummed with delight. “This is delicious.”

  “Sprite. Bitters. Dash of lime. Some fresh grated ginger.” Manoa’s expression reflected his pleasure of my appreciation. He swiveled and poured more into my glass from a pitcher on the counter behind the bar.

  “Keep it coming. We were out in the sun a lot today.”

  “Really?” Manoa lifted a brow. “So is the sunshine the only reason she’s not pasty anymore and has such a healthy-looking glow?”

  “Don’t tease her. She’ll only glow brighter.”

  “Yeah?” The bartender gave me a speculative glance.

  “I’m sleeping with him.” I felt the warmth on my cheeks deepening. “You don’t need to measure your words around me. I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself.”

  “Know you can, pele.” Diesel tapped my nose. His fingertip was cold and a little wet from the condensation on his glass. “But it’s cute how you call what we’re doing sleeping. And it’s fun to make you blush.”

  “Lalana said she used more descriptive words.” Manoa cocked his head at me.

  “I spoke to her us
ing simple terms I knew she could understand.”

  “Ah.” The bartender flashed a white smile. “Just so. I like her, Diesel. I like her a lot.”

  “Of course you do.” Diesel dipped his head, and his black curls skimmed his wide shoulders.

  My heart flipped inside my chest from his quick approval.

  “Your dad does too,” Manoa said.

  “He does.” Diesel didn’t sound surprised. He set his glass down. “You talk to him today?”

  “I did. He told me he met her, and that he’s gonna spend the day down at the beach at his old place when you can arrange for transportation.” The bartender turned to me. “Heard the excursion was your idea.”

  “It was. I like him. I’m looking forward to it. To seeing what he draws.”

  “Don’t let this one get away.” Manoa gave Diesel a firm look and tapped his knuckles to the bar top.

  “It’s not like that with us. We’re just enjoying each other’s company.” I went for a light explanation, figuring Diesel wouldn’t want his friends to get the wrong idea.

  Not that it really mattered. Our arrangement was as temporary as the island-side happiness I’d discovered with the man beside me.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  * * *

  Diesel

  “Not letting her go anywhere anytime soon,” I told the interfering but well-meaning bartender while frowning at the woman beside me.

  Did Hollie not get it? She was in my bed, on my board, and on my bike. What we were doing wasn’t just fucking.

  “I’ll have the fish tacos.” I set down my menu. “A double order.”

  I swiveled toward Hollie and took her hand from where it rested on the bar, threading her fingers with mine. She was staring down at her menu, a crease between her brows.

  “What looks good to you, babe?”

  “You.” She turned her head, her hair a loose, gorgeous, moon-hued waterfall around her shoulders.

  “Right.” I grinned, leaned in, and laid a hard one on her lush lips. “And right back at you. But stop revving my engine and pick something to eat. We’ve got stuff to do, and you need food.”

  “I’ll try the mac and cheese.”

  My fingers spasmed around hers. In front of me, Manoa froze, no longer pretending to polish the bar when he was really eavesdropping.

  “I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong?” Seeming to sense the sudden tension, she glanced back and forth between me and the bartender. “I was just looking for something simple but substantial. My stomach’s a little unsettled. Is that entree not on the menu anymore?”

  “It’s on the menu,” Manoa said softly, answering her with his gaze on me.

  “Is it not okay for me to order it?” Her lips flat, she turned to me. “You said it was your son’s favorite. It stuck in my mind.”

  “You told her about Kellan?” Manoa didn’t try to hide his shock.

  I didn’t answer. It was obvious I had. “Order whatever you want.” I squeezed her fingers.

  “I’ll have that, please.”

  “Coming right up.” Manoa moved down the bar and stopped in front of the register to input our order.

  “I didn’t mean to make things awkward,” she whispered to me.

  “It’s okay.”

  “If you say so.” Hollie glanced down at our joined hands, then lifted her gaze, her expression troubled. “I don’t want your friends to get the wrong impression about us.”

  “I want you to be yourself.” I narrowed my eyes. “I have no tolerance for bullshit. I had a woman in my bed for years who was lying to me. I’m not interested in a repeat of that scenario.”

  “Yes, of course. I had a man with me who wasn’t truthful either.” She glanced away, and once again, I had the feeling that I had her, but only so much. And only so much wasn’t nearly enough anymore.

  “I’m worried about this nausea of yours.” I watched her sip her ginger ale. Her right hand had returned to her abdomen. The fact that it often did hadn’t escaped my notice.

  “It’s nothing serious,” she said, her posture stiffening as she stared straight ahead. Even in profile, I could see that her face had drained of its former bright glow.

  “You could have an ulcer.”

  “I’m nineteen.”

  “You’re young, but you’ve been under a lot of stress lately with your stepfather, the lawsuit, your grueling film schedule.”

  “And a funeral.” Hollie glanced at me, her eyes darkened by shadows. “Not a fairy-tale life. Thanks for the reminder.”

  “Didn’t mean to upset you. I don’t know how to sugarcoat things.”

  “I know you don’t, and I don’t want you to. I don’t want to run anymore from my troubles. I want to be strong and face them. It’s just . . . I guess I just haven’t figured it all out yet.”

  “You will.”

  “Your confidence in me means a lot. I wish I had your faith.”

  “Sometimes it’s easier to have faith in someone else than you do in yourself.”

  “I wonder why that is.”

  “People like you and me expect a lot of ourselves, and we’re our biggest critics when we feel like we fall short.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Definitely. When you’re in the middle of a storm, you can’t see how you’ll ever find a way out of it. But you will. Hold on.” I squeezed her hand. “Give yourself time. You’ll find a way through, and ask for help when you need it. Being strong doesn’t always mean standing alone.”

  “Good advice,” she said softly.

  “I happen to give it out occasionally.”

  “You certainly have some good friends to lean on.”

  “I do.”

  “I hope you’ll consider me among them.” Her lip trembled.

  “I already do,” I said firmly, feeling like I was missing something. After all, hadn’t we decided in a prior conversation that we were friends?

  “Thank you.” She lowered her gaze and stilled the quiver in her lip with her teeth.

  Manoa returned with plates in his hands that he slid onto the counter in front of us. “Can I get you anything else?”

  “No, we’re fine.” I wasn’t sure we were, but I gave Manoa a chin lift, my expression revealing my desire to be left alone.

  As he moved away, Hollie withdrew her hand from mine. After removing the wrapper from the silverware, she spent an inordinate amount of time arranging the napkin in her lap, but she didn’t pick up her utensils. She seemed strangely uninterested in the food when I knew she had to be starving.

  “You should eat.”

  “Yes.” She stared at her plate.

  “You’ll need your strength for later.” I brushed the length of her hair that had fallen forward back over her shoulder.

  “I know I will.” Hollie glanced at me, and there was a sadness in her eyes that told me she wasn’t on the same page as I was anymore.

  A sudden chill raised bumps on my arms.

  “We’re doing the later together, babe,” I said firmly. “You and me in my bed.”

  I needed that crystal clear, like my thoughts now were regarding her. But I knew I had to up my game and give her not just part, but all of me, in order to get the entirety of her that I wanted in return.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  * * *

  Hollie

  Don’t be weak, I told myself after lunch, hugging my arms around Diesel super-tight from my position behind him on the motorcycle.

  I was pretty sure he sensed my growing unease. I had to tell him about the pregnancy. I didn’t want to, but every conversation led to the same conclusion. Not telling him about it was a lie of omission that I regretted.

  I laid my cheek against his back, watching the scenery speed by, no longer enchanted by the greenery and the ocean, only him. The wind whipped my hair from my face and a fresh batch of wetness from my eyes.

  Closing my eyes for a second, I breathed in his familiar scent. The plumeria and coconut was on my own skin from the bat
h gel we both used, his unique musk too, but the rest of him—shoot straight, be the best you can be, fall but learn to rise, his faith in me—those other essential parts had worked their way far deeper inside.

  “You gonna hop off?” He squeezed my interlaced fingers.

  “Oh, sorry.” I lifted my head and realized we’d arrived at the grocery store. “I zoned out.”

  “Not the effect I usually have on women,” he said in a teasing tone as I climbed off.

  “I’m comfortable with you.” I didn’t shy away from the truth, or his gaze, as he dismounted and pocketed the key.

  “Is that another word for bored?” His umber eyes searching, he stroked a finger under my chin and lifted it to study me.

  “No.” I stared at him with longing burning in my gaze.

  I wanted to touch Diesel, to learn every inch of his body. I wanted to dive into his psyche to know everything about him. And I wanted him to want those things from me. If he desired it, I would give him all of me, because I already knew that I could trust him with everything, the good and the bad.

  “What is your mood with me?” he asked, stepping closer.

  Before I could answer, my cell jangled in my crossbody purse. Fanny’s ringtone.

  “It’s my sister.”

  “Take it then.” He dipped his chin. “But let’s get you inside.” His arm around my shoulders, he steered me toward the entrance of the supermarket while I dug out my phone.

  “Hello,” I said.

  “So, what happened?”

  “What happened with what?” It was hard to concentrate with Diesel’s thumb swirling circles into the skin just above my clavicle.

  “Did you sleep with him?”

  “Um.” I stepped out from under Diesel’s arm. “I think I’d better take this in private.”

  “You did.” My sister didn’t hide her shock. “And you’re with him now.”

  “Yes.” Wide-eyed and experiencing a bit of amazement of my own, I gazed up at him.

  “Tell Fanny hi.” The handsome man in front of me grinned.

  “Diesel says—”

  “I heard him.” She let out a loud sigh. “Told you he’d take you up on it. Did he even hesitate?”