by Carrie Stone
Irritation flares inside of me. What’s wrong with him? Why can’t he hear the word ‘no’. Renegotiate? For goodness’ sake, what does he think I am? Some kind of business deal or new client?
I’m about to erupt in frustration, when I suddenly catch sight of the time and with only minutes to spare, bite down on my lip, knowing it’s not worth wasting anymore of my time or energy explaining what he isn’t willing to hear.
‘I really have to go, Spencer.’
Without waiting for his response, I hang up, annoyed. What on earth just happened? Why can’t he let me go?
My mobile reminder beeps and I’m forced to put my exasperation aside and try to get my headspace back into work mode. I reluctantly set up my Skype and don my headphones, stomach churning with unease as I once again push the conversation with Spencer my from mind.
The tutoring agency interview lasts a tense forty minutes, surprisingly longer than I’d expected but I’m thrilled to receive the instant decision that they’d like me to be a part of the team. For a while, the relief and excitement even overtake most of the chagrin I’m still harbouring at Spencer’s phone call.
In an attempt to distract myself, I decide upon a late-night nasi goreng from a nearby warung and although my appetite is a little diminished – thanks to Spencer playing on my emotions earlier – I find myself enjoying sitting outside in the humid evening air and watching the locals around me.
By the time I make it back to my apartment and relax in bed, I’m exhausted.
Suddenly life doesn’t look so bleak anymore. It’s the first time in two weeks that I fall asleep smiling.
Chapter 16
‘Does that lead the way down to the beach?’ I ask my driver Matt, pointing to the cliff edge.
‘Yes, the beach is just there.’ He signals below, a smile written across his face at what I guess is my typical tourist hesitation. ‘It’s fine. You’ll be fine. I will come with you.’
‘No, it’s OK.’ I wave him away, deciding that I’m being a wuss and climb the short distance down. I’m in the South of Bali, Uluwatu and it’s a completely different experience to Seminyak. I think I’ve fallen in love with this part, it feels like we’ve driven to a slightly more relaxed and untouched part of the island. The waters here are cleaner and clearer than the busier parts of the island. The sand is soft and white underfoot but although it’s beautiful, it’s no Bermuda. The gigantic waves crashing down play host to a mix of surfers and I sit captivated on the sand, watching as various people ride them, some with skill and ease and others swept under at the first swell.
After ten minutes of drinking in the nature and trying to pluck up the courage to enter the water, I decide against it and instead make my way to the nearest beach warung and order a fresh coconut. I’m happy to see it arrives with a spoon on the side to dig at the tender flesh inside. This trip hadn’t been planned today but since my chat with Spencer, I’ve felt a little off-kilter. Constant melancholic memories of Bermuda have been floating around my head and I’m hoping a day exploring would put everything into perspective.
I’m just finishing my coconut juice and attempting to take a panoramic photo of the stunning beach view, when my phone beeps. I take it from my bag and almost drop it in shock when I see Tilly’s name on the screen. It’s been over two weeks since I last received anything from her and I’d assumed that meant the end of our friendship.
Nervously opening the message, I’m relieved when I see it’s a snap of us together from my first days in Bermuda. There’s the caption ‘Miss you. Sorry I messed up’ and I feel myself welling up as I stare at the two happy faces smiling in the scene.
That moment is still so fresh in my mind and yet so much has changed between now and then. I smile as I realise this is possibly the first time ever that Tilly has used the word sorry for anything. I can imagine it took every ounce of will to send the photo and I know that it’s now or never. Like a sign from the heavens, the fact she’s messaged me at the moment I was thinking about her must mean something. And I know what I need to do.
I can’t keep on holding onto bitterness towards her. Stepping away from the situation has made me see that although I was right to be angry, anger isn’t healthy to hold onto. It’ll only fester and detract from other positive things in my life. Besides, I know I’ll never have the same friendship with Tilly again so surely it’s better to accept her apology and leave things on harmonious terms, than keep myself in a state of anxiety over the way our friendship ended?
I pick up my phone, carefully choosing my words.
‘Apology accepted. It’s water under the bridge now.’
With a pounding heart, I reread my reply several times before taking a deep breath and hitting the send button. The instant it’s done, a huge invisible weight lifts from my shoulders and as if by magic, the shady area I’m sitting in, is showered with brilliant sunshine.
My phone beeps again and this time it’s Matt telling me that it’s time to visit the temple. I don’t need telling twice as I pack my belongings into my shoulder bag along with my phone. Noticing a handful of stray loose curls, I quickly shake out my messy bun and tie it again. I haven’t been bothering as much with make-up or styling my hair, or even dressing up. The pace and energy of everything is so much more laidback here, more in tune with nature and spiritualism; the vibe isn’t about how you look or who you are, materially. On reflection, I realise that perhaps I’d gotten a little caught up in Bermuda with status and money. Here, those things don’t seem to exist. The focus isn’t on making money or what people can afford. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. It’s about enjoying the island.
Matt is waiting for me in the same spot I left him and as I hop on the back of the scooter, it’s not long before we’re once again weaving through narrow lanes and across rice paddies. Suddenly Matt swerves and I grip to hold on as an emaciated street dog appears from nowhere, almost darting in front of us. Luckily we dodge him and as I look back he appears to disappear into an open drainage gulley.
I think of Brody and feel a strong pang of guilt. There are so many street dogs here that it’s heart-breaking. I make a mental note to speak with Dewi about local dog charities when I get back to my apartment. Now that I’m more settled, it’s a good moment to think about my volunteering again. I’ve enough time on my hands and it makes sense to use it doing something that I love, until I’ve figured out my next move.
The temple is busy when we arrive and I wrap my sarong around my bare legs and enter, being cautious to hold onto my belongings away from the prying eyes and hands of macaque monkeys that roam all around me. I head away from the crowds standing nearby watching a display of Kecak dance practice taking place, walking in the opposite direction. After some minutes I spot a large, flat stone near a bush to sit and admire the view and I’m about to seat myself when a monkey appears from behind me, baring its teeth as I glance nervously across at it. In a weird way it reminds me of Amy, with its slim, lithe build and I feel my anxiety fading as I carefully back away, chuckling to myself. I continue following the walkway as it curves around the cliff edge, taking a moment to stop and glance out from a balcony built into the rock.
From this distance, the traditional Balinese-style architecture of the temple looks less imposing than up close. However, it’s the views that are most breath-taking; the magnificent Indian Ocean stretches out in front of me in all directions to a backdrop of raging waves crashing into the rocks below. I stand there for a moment, phone in hand, speechless at the beauty packed into one single frame of my camera. The beautiful temple stands afar, amidst an expanse of stunning greenery decorating the face of the cliff. It winds towards me like a snake as ferocious, majestic white foam waves attack its base. I watch in appreciation as the sunlight reflects off the azure blue water and creates glimmers of rainbow.
It’s hard to believe that this is now what I can consider my ‘home’ – at least for a while. And in that moment, I know that no matter what happens, I absolutely mus
t never give up fulfilling my newfound passion for travelling.
*
I awaken to the sound of roosters outside my apartment and stretch my arms above my head. Pushing back the thin cover, I jump out of bed and pull open the curtains. It’s yet another glorious day and I spot a large monitor lizard peeking out from behind a rock near the swimming pool. Showering in record time, I throw on one of my plain new dresses – loose and simple – tie my curls into a messy knot and head to breakfast.
I’ve got a busy day planned before my first double session of online tutoring later and I’m feeling motivated. Wiwik greets me as I sit down at a wooden table looking out onto the rice paddy, which at this time of year is lush and green. I’ve barely got to wait a minute before she sets down a plate of fresh fruit in front of me.
‘Thanks Wiwik.’ I admire the chunks of papaya and mango cut into flower shapes but instead opt to peel the hairy rambutan on the plate. Its appearance reminds me of a sea urchin but inside it reveals a delicious sweet lychee-flavoured fruity centre.
‘No problem. Are you going to the charity today?’ Wiwik asks, this time bringing me a plate hosting a large banana pancake drizzled in syrup and grated with fresh coconut. The smell alone makes my stomach gurgle in appreciation.
‘Ohh, this looks delicious as usual.’ I accept it gratefully and pick up my cutlery. ‘Yes, I’m heading there after I’m finished here.’
Wiwik smiles and bends to stroke Tessi, the villa cat who appears at her feet. ‘Good. You tell me how it goes.’
‘Of course I will.’ I notice another guest appears and Wiwik catches my gaze, excuses herself and hurries over to greet them, Tessi fast on her heels.
Taking my phone out of my bag, I use the moment to Google ‘Mount Batur’. My curiosity has been piqued ever since I’d overheard a group of travellers talking about hiking it. Previously I wouldn’t have been interested in such a thing, but something about their conversation had inspired me. Would it really be as fun and personally satisfying as they were saying?
Google doesn’t let me down and I’m instantly presented with an array of images, all depicting an imposing mountain reaching high above the clouds.
‘Really Everly?’ I whisper to myself, wondering where the sudden desire to trek up a mountain has surfaced from. But on the other hand, what’s stopping me from at least trying? If not now, then when? Let’s face it, six months ago – I would’ve never expected to ever find myself regularly going on exploratory trash hunts in the ocean or scrubbing algae from a sixty-year-old turtle’s penis. And yet Bermuda taught me otherwise. Determined to prove to myself that I am capable of at least trying to undertake something so physically demanding, I continue to research and am quickly lost in a heady excitement of how adrenalin-inspiring it sounds.
It’s only when Tessi purrs against my leg, causing me to stop staring at my phone and pay attention to my surroundings, that I notice the other guest standing up to leave and Wiwik reappearing to clean away after him.
I reluctantly realise that if I’m to make it to the charity organisation in time, then I need to leave right about now. It’s as I pack up my belongings that the idea hits me. What if I was to combine something I love with this newfound vivacity for pushing myself out of my comfort zone? What if I was to hike Mount Batur in aid of charity?
Bali may have been a last-minute decision but I haven’t felt this inspired for a long time. Smiling, I stand up and head for the door.
*
‘Yes, we can always benefit from the extra help if you’re willing to join us,’ Belinda replies, smiling as two puppies fight to lick my hand and another two jump onto my lap. ‘It’s hard to believe that someone dumped these little ones in a river to drown.’ She strokes one of the puppies and I feel emotional just watching her. What kind of a person has a heart evil enough to dump a dog?
Picking up the runt of the litter, I cuddle her to my chest and grin as her tail waggles furiously. ‘It’s so desperately sad. They’re adorable, if I was here to stay I’d adopt all of them.’ The sweet little pup suddenly licks my nose with her tiny pink tongue and I know I’m in dangerous territory. If I’m not careful I’ll never want to leave here. ‘I’m happy to come along a couple of mornings a week – would that be OK?’
‘That’d be fantastic!’ Belinda clasps her hands in delight and signals for fellow volunteer Wayan to come and take over the puppies. ‘Come through to the back and let me introduce you to the others.’
I follow her through the ‘staff’ door of BDR – Bali Dog Rescue – headquarters, which in actual fact is a slightly rundown villa barely scrimping by on donations and fundraising. Dewi and Wiwik had suggested this one, run by Australian Belinda who came here fifteen years ago. It’s clear to see she’s absolutely passionate about her programme and after speaking with her for the last hour, it’s obvious that the help this charity provides is invaluable to the area. From feeding to neutering to rescuing, this place is a lifeline for the street dogs of Bali and I can’t think of a better way to spend my spare hours.
I’m surprised to see that the door leads through to a large open space, where a kitchen cum medical practice is filled to the brim with animal paraphernalia and volunteers. I notice the alarming number of dogs in the cages and Belinda must sense my concern because she points immediately to a nearby cage, housing a small white dog that appears to be sleeping and has bandages around its leg.
‘These ones are mainly dogs that need extra attention and are in recovery mode. They can’t be let out yet into the yard because they’re too high risk. We give these ones more hands-on attention until they’re ready.’
‘Ah OK,’ I say, noticing how poorly some of them look and immediately wanting to cuddle them all. An older woman passes me and says ‘hello’. She’s wearing the standard BDR green T-shirt that all the volunteers seem to be wearing. ‘Will I get to wear a T-shirt too?’ I joke, pointing to the woman.
‘You most certainly will.’ Belinda smiles and calls over to another three volunteers to introduce me. The two local people are lovely and friendly and the third, a woman called Carly around my own age, is originally from the States and has been living in Bali and helping out for the last sixteen months. We chat for a while and I marvel at how nice everybody seems. Despite wanting to help out the dogs, I realise this is going to be a great social opportunity for me too. My attention is caught by a man that has his back to me. There’s something about him that seems familiar.
‘Luuk, come on over and meet our new volunteer,’ Belinda calls out, but even before the man has time to turn around my brain has identified him from the beach lunch.
‘Hey you. I know you.’ Luuk immediately recognises me in return and I watch as his face lights up. He glances from Belinda to me and then back again, before he seems to click. ‘Are you going to be volunteering here?’
‘You two already know one another?’ Belinda asks, intrigued.
‘We do. Well, we met briefly at a café place,’ Luuk says, dusting off his hands on a cloth he has slung over his shoulder. ‘Everly, wasn’t it?’
I smile, impressed that he remembers my name. ‘That’s right and yes, I’m going to be doing two mornings a week here. Good to see you again.’
‘Well, he’ll certainly be able to show you the ropes,’ Belinda says, patting Luuk’s shoulder. ‘He’s been with us for almost a year. All the dogs love him the best.’ She rolls her eyes in playful humour.
‘That’s because I’m tasked with taking their photos. They know they can trust me to do them some justice.’ He laughs as he says this and I glance at Belinda.
‘Trust him to throw his renowned photography skills into the conversation.’
‘Renowned?’ I question, raising an eyebrow. ‘You kept that bit quiet?’
Luuk shrugs with a small smile. ‘It’s more luck of the draw. A lot of my photos seem to have ended up in some big publications and it spiralled from there. But anyway I love to help out here in my spare time. You’ll have fun here,
there’s a good team.’
‘Seems it.’ I notice Belinda glance at her watch and I do the same, aware that I’ve probably taken up far more of everybody’s time than I should have.
‘Right, I had best be off and leave you to it.’ I turn to Belinda. ‘When shall I start? I’m free tomorrow?’
Belinda hesitates for a moment. ‘A big group of us will be out on the road tomorrow, doing a weekly neutering service. I’m not sure if there will be anybody…’
‘Tomorrow’s good,’ Luuk cuts in, grinning at me. ‘I’m here tomorrow so I’ll keep you company and settle you in.’
Nodding, Belinda shrugs. ‘Well, there you go then. That’s that sorted. Tomorrow it is.’
‘See you here at ten?’ Luuk says, pushing a loose strand of hair off his face with his arm. I notice this time it’s been tied up into a small ponytail and it really suits him.
‘OK.’ I smile at him and he beams, his teeth looking phenomenally white against his brown skin.
Saying my goodbyes, I walk outside of the centre and am relieved to see that the threatened rain forecast hasn’t materialised. Instead the sun and humidity are unrelenting. It doesn’t take me long to flag a taxi and get it to drop me at an organic café near my apartment. I still have time before my tutoring to enjoy lunch and catch up on emails.
The café isn’t busy so I take a comfy larger seat near the window, order a salad and retrieve my mobile from my bag. My breath catches when I see there’s a message from Tilly. I open it, wondering what to expect.
‘Hey. Was out with Spence and hear he’s coming to visit you (in Bali!?!) Just want to say that I hope things work out for you both. Also would love you to come back here. Miss my boating buddy x’
Stunned, I read the message three times with only one thought on loop in my head. Spencer is coming to visit me? She must have that wrong. Is he really so hell bent on winning me back, he’d even fly out here to prove his point despite me telling him it’s over? I try not to let myself feel bothered, knowing that there’s a possibility she may have gotten things muddled. It says a lot about the pair of them though – whilst I assumed they’d most likely still be mixing in the same circles I hadn’t expected them to remain such good friends and be sharing life updates.