by Carrie Stone
‘Oh, great. Maybe you can give me some tips then.’
‘Of course. I tell you what – I’ll WhatsApp you the guide I booked with.’ She smiles at me before lying herself flat on her front and closing her eyes. Following suit, I pick up my book and go back to reading but my mind can’t concentrate, it’s too busy whirling with ideas of what else I’d like to accomplish whilst I’m here in Bali.
It’s just before sunset when we finally decide to head home. ‘Do you have a bike or did you need a lift?’ Luuk glances at my mobile in hand. I was about to message Matt, who I use as my driver.
I don’t need asking twice. ‘A lift would be great if you don’t mind?’
He nods and I follow him to his bike, saying goodbye to the others and watching as everybody makes their way to their own scooters. ‘Do you have a spare helmet?’
‘Yes, there’s one under my seat.’ He unlocks his seat and tosses me the old but thankfully small, helmet. ‘Whereabouts you staying again?’
I watch as he puts on his own fancy helmet and waits for me to jump on the back of the bike. ‘Near Sunset Road. Jalan Drupadi,’ Wrapping my arms around his waist, I don’t fail to notice how hard and toned his abs are.
‘Near me then. Cool.’ He revs the bike and we’re off within seconds. Despite being a fast driver, it’s clear he knows how to handle his motorbike. We weave fluidly across paddy fields and back streets, the fiery red and orange glow of sunset basking us with its vibrant flare. I hold on tightly, revelling in the colourful craziness of this beautiful island. As we hit gridlock traffic, Luuk mounts the bike on the pavement and we weave past stalls holders and locals. I can’t help but grin at his lack of patience. As we approach my gang, I point him in the direction of the guesthouse and he finally slows down until we reach the end where the entrance is.
‘That was one crazy ride.’ I laugh, dismounting the bike with a smile on my face. ‘Good job you know how to drive adeptly.’
‘I’m basically a local, don’t forget. It’s in my blood.’ He points to himself and smiles. ‘Thanks for coming today. It was fun to have you there.’ He flicks his helmet guard a little higher and the small gesture makes my stomach flutter but I’m not sure why.
‘I had fun too.’ I scramble in my bag for my keys, aware that he’s already starting up his engine again. ‘So, I’ll see you next week then?’
‘Yeah, see you on Tuesday at BDR.’
I’m expecting him to say something else but he doesn’t. Instead he simply closes his helmet guard and drives off. I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.
Wiwik is sitting barefoot on the grass preparing offering baskets as I walk across to my apartment. I’m hit by stuffy, hot air as I unlock the door and walk over to open the curtains I’d drawn in an attempt to keep out the sunshine.
It’s an hour later, after I’ve showered, checked my emails and messages and ordered myself some food for delivery, when Amy calls, interrupting me sorting through my laundry.
‘Hey,’ I answer, wondering whether I’m going to get an unhappy Amy or a positive one. ‘I wasn’t expecting to hear from you today – I thought you were going to that BBQ with Jack?’
‘Hi, no, we didn’t end up going.’ She sounds down and I immediately know something is up.
‘Oh, why not, I thought you were looking forward to it?’ In fact, I know she had been planning for months to go and catch up with old contacts, especially now that the cat is out of the bag she’s being published.
She sniffles at the end of the line and I know something is very wrong indeed. ‘Amy, what’s wrong?’
‘Jack found out about Jonathon, Ev.’ Her tone is flat and numb sounding. ‘He wants a divorce.’
‘What!’ Shocked, I sit bolt upright and stare in disbelief at the phone. ‘A divorce? But why? I mean, I know he’s probably mad about Jonathon, but a divorce is ridiculous. You’ve got kids to consider, for crying out loud.’
Amy remains uncharacteristically quiet and I wait for her to enlighten me. But it’s not the answer I’m expecting.
‘I’m beginning to think he’s right. Maybe it’s for the best, all round. We sat down many times over this past week and had long discussions about it and we’re both unhappy with our life and it seems we have been for a while.’
I think of the Amy and Jack that I know and love, the Amy and Jack that from the outside seem to have everything and I can’t equate the Amy from that couple to the person I’m speaking with now. ‘But Amy, are you sure you’re not over-reacting? You don’t seem that unhappy to me? You do realise that the grass isn’t always greener, right?’
‘Stop being so fucking condescending, Everly,’ she snaps, silencing me. ‘Jack and I have been together for sixteen years and yes, I’m perfectly aware that things will be hard, but I need this change. I need to find out who I am, what I like and start to build a life around my needs. We’ve been together so long I don’t even remember what those things are anymore.’
Astounded, I take a moment to respond.
‘I’m so sad to hear you feel that way. I had no idea.’ And it’s true, I didn’t. Yet, the most surprising aspect is that despite her totally opposite circumstances to me, as a mother and wife, she sounds like she’s in the same boat that I was in six months ago. One that is now urging her to make life changes and re-discover herself. Who would have thought?
‘Have you told the kids?’ I ask softly as I think of the children and my heart breaks for them.
‘Not yet, we need to be certain before we broach that subject with them, naturally.’ She sounds resigned though, I can hear the steeliness now in her voice. ‘Jack also seems to think that I’m immediately going to go running off to Jonathon.’ She huffs before feebly laughing. ‘He’s ridiculous.’
‘So you aren’t then?’ I challenge, mentally blaming Jonathon for all of this and unable to help myself from feeling sorry for Jack. ‘Going to pick up with Jonathon I mean?’
‘Of course not. Everything is complicated enough as it is.’
‘WelI, that’s one good thing.’ I feel comforted by her words but I’m reluctant to get into a conversation about Jonathon who I have a strong feeling is simply Amy’s fantasy escapism. I contemplate telling her about my own inner journey for a moment, the one that’s led me here to Bali because essentially, she’s at that similar point in life – unfulfilled and looking for something more – except she’s looking in the wrong place. But something makes me hold back and instead I decide to wait until she’s had more time to come to a clearer mindset. At least then she will be more open to hearing what I have to say.
We chat for a further twenty minutes but it’s fruitless, I can’t seem to concentrate properly. It’s puzzling to think that even those who seemingly have it all – at least from the outside – can be just like I once was, searching for something more to fulfil them.
We finally hang up with Amy promising to keep me updated and I slump back onto my bed, feeling a deep sadness wash over me. It’s like I’m losing part of myself if Amy and Jack separate. What hope is there for me finding a happy outcome, if the only happy long-lasting couple I know are now threatening to separate?
I’m still reflecting on things when absent-mindedly, I flick through my photo gallery and notice an image taken earlier with the others post surf, holding onto my longboard and looking particularly beachy and surfer girlish. Feeling my spirits lift at the photo, I’m once again startled by how far I’ve come in such a short space of time and instantly perk up. There’s no use allowing Amy’s relationship woes to rub off onto me. I need to make every moment in Bali count.
Spotting Tessi from my window, I decide to pour myself a cold juice and sit in the garden with her. Despite never really being a cat person, there’s something about her sweet nature that always makes me feel calm when stroking her.
I’ve barely been sat down for five minutes, enjoying the view of the softly moonlit garden, when Carly surprises me by sending across the Batur details.
The messages come thick and fast as she continues her suggestions and unable to stop myself, I tap on the number of the recommended trekking guide and type out a message.
One hour later, my trek is booked and my fundraising page set up. I’ve even had my first donation from a friend and various wishes of good luck. The only thing left to do now is get myself to the top of that mountain.
A thrill of adrenalin surges through me at the thought and I know with certainly that no matter how tired I get, it won’t be an issue – I’ll be able to keep going and succeed in the end. After all, it’s pretty much symbolic of my life of late, isn’t it?
Smiling at the thought, I lean back and close my eyes, happily visualising what might be ahead. Deep down, I have a feeling I’ve almost reached the summit of my very own personal journey – the only question is, where to next?
Chapter 18
‘Duck! They’re coming for you.’ Luuk laughs as I squeal in nervous anticipation at the large group of monkeys that have spotted my bunch of bananas. At the precise moment I try to veer out of the way of one jumping on my shoulder, wide-eyed and screeching, I see Luuk snapping away with his camera.
‘Don’t just stand there taking photos, I’m being attacked.’ I drop the bunch of bananas as various little furry hands reach out to snatch them and once successful, scuttle away again.
‘You should have seen your face. Have a look at this.’ Luuk joins me, leaning in close with his DSLR camera and showing me some of the shots.
‘Good grief, I look awful!’ And it’s true because my expression in every capture is borderline neurotic. I gasp suddenly as he scrolls past the recent shots and notice a close up – it’s so breath-takingly beautiful that it takes me a second to realise it’s actually me.
‘‘Right, have you had enough fun here?’ Hastily pulling away the camera from my view, Luuk suddenly busies himself with the buttons and I instantly know it was a photo I wasn’t supposed to see.
‘Yes, I think I’m all monkeyed out.’ And it’s true, as fun as this overnight trip to Gianyar has so been so far, we’ve pretty much spent forty minutes being assaulted by them. Monkey forest itself has been a nice enough walk through with its old stone monuments, beautiful temple and gnarly but magnificent trees but it’s hard not to feel on edge when you’re in the territory of thousands of free roaming monkeys, no matter how funny or cheeky they are.
‘Shall I drop you to your resort then?’ He waits for me to answer but my mind is still pre-occupied with the photo I spotted. I now recognise it as a moment from our morning trip visiting the famous Elephant Cave Temple. Except unbeknownst to me, he must have captured it when I’d walked on ahead of him. I can’t help but wonder how many other secret photos might be on his camera.
‘Is that a yes or no?’ he says, breaking into my thoughts and I look up and see him gazing at me, bewildered.
‘Sorry I was miles away.’ I grin and watch as he glances at his mobile checking the time. ‘Yes, let’s go. I know you’ve probably got plans for later anyway so I don’t want to take up any more of your day.’
‘It’s no trouble. It’s been fun showing you the sights. Anyway, I should be able to make it back home before the traffic hits hard.’
‘OK cool.’ I know it’s a lie because the drive back is at least ninety minutes and it’s already late afternoon. Instead of debating it, I smile, following him the short walk back to the scooter. ‘So what’s this hotel like then?’
‘You’ll soon see. It’s a bit of a drive but it’s worth it.’ And he’s not kidding.
It takes perhaps twenty minutes of weaving through the Ubud gridlock traffic and beyond until we reach what seems to be more rural territory. The greenery here is fantastic and I feel myself instantly relaxing again. The ride begins to change when we start going steeply uphill and I hold on tightly as the road gets bumpy. I’m intrigued when after some time we begin to slow down and Luuk turns the scooter left, into what appears to be a narrow inlet totally obscured by huge leaves from countless banana trees. As we make our way through, I spot a traditional Balinese entrance, guarded by two huge golden retriever dogs.
Luuk parks and as I take off my helmet and hop off the bike, one of the dogs stands and walks lazily towards me.
‘Hey buddy.’ Luuk reaches out a hand and the dog picks up speed, tail wagging. ‘This is Honey and the other over there is Manuka.’
Manuka’s ears prick up at the sound of her name and she comes to join us. I ruffle both their shiny coats and am rewarded by lots of kisses. ‘They’re beautiful. You’re a regular here then? If you know the dogs I mean.’
‘My good friend owns this place, I’ve already put a word in with her to look after you well. I think you’ll be in Room 3 for starters.’ He winks and I take this to mean that Room 3 must be the better of the rooms. However, I can’t help but feel slightly irked at Luuk’s familiarity with the owner. Good friend? And how does he know her? I wonder why I’ve got a sudden green-eyed feeling that’s roared up inside me from absolutely nowhere.
I’ve barely gathered my belongings from the scooter when a slim but curvaceous woman joins us. She has the kind of natural beauty that people pay surgery for. Her wavy black hair sits just past her shoulders and her coffee-coloured blemish-free skin is an exact match to Luuk’s.
‘Hey gorg.’ Luuk leans in and kisses her on the cheek. ‘How are you?’
I look away, the feeling inside me intensifying. Gorg?
She steps back but continues touching his arm. ‘Really good. I thought you’d forgotten me though, I was expecting you the other day.’ She laughs lightly but there’s something about her tone that tells me these two aren’t just friends.
Luuk smiles and bends to rub Manuka’s belly. ‘Sorry about that, I couldn’t come because of work but I would if I could have.’
I’m trying not to stare but it’s hard when she’s so spell binding. Everything about her is polished yet casual. She looks like she’s just stepped out of a magazine shoot and when she turns to me I feel myself flush, hoping she didn’t catch my intense stare.
‘Hi, I’m Indah.’ She reaches out her hand and I take it, noticing just how striking her brown eyes are. She looks Indonesian and like Luuk, there’s something unique about her. ‘I hope you’ll enjoy your stay here. I’ll do my best to make sure you get the star treatment.’ She smiles and it’s such a warm and friendly vibe that I begin to doubt my suspicions. If they were together, surely she wouldn’t be welcoming me so encouragingly?
‘Gede will take your bags and show you to your room.’
I quickly realise that Gede is the porter as he appears from seemingly nowhere and reaches for my holdall. ‘Please follow me Miss.’
I automatically turn to Luuk, who seems to have his gaze locked on Indah. Awkward. I pretend to cough, hoping to break whatever spell she has him under and it seems to work.
‘So…’ I begin, self-consciously removing a stray hair from my face and wishing Indah would disappear for a moment and leave us to speak without an audience. But she’s clearly going nowhere
‘You’re all set with your room then?’ he asks, cutting me off. Indah looks from him to me with an intrigued expression.
‘Yes, Indah said everything is prepared.’ I step back and point to Gede. ‘I guess I’d better go but thanks ever so much for today, I had a great time.’
‘Me too. Anyway, I’ll see you on Thursday?’ His tone sounds hopeful and I steal a glance at Indah, noticing her smile falter slightly.
‘Sure, I’ll be at the centre on Thursday.’ We lock eyes and I feel a small fizzle in my stomach. Confused at my feelings, I panic and look away. ‘See you then.’
Luuk turns to Indah as Gede steps forward, shooing away Honey and points to a path of the left. ‘This way, Miss.’
I don’t need telling twice. If it wasn’t for the mix of thoughts in my mind, I might be able to appreciate the view a little more as we descend what seems to be tens of stairs winding down the side of a
hill. As it is, I hurriedly follow Gede to my room.
‘I will prepare everything, please wait here in your foyer Miss.’
He opens a large wooden door and I’m ushered into a glass-fronted area. This is my foyer?
The view from the floor-to-ceiling glass looks down upon what looks like a jungle below. I realise that the building must be built on the edge of a mountain because the view down into the valley below is sensational. As far as my eye can see is dense greenery.
Gede returns, opening the double doors he disappeared into. ‘Your room is ready, Miss.’
The word ‘room’ is an understatement. It’s a more like a sprawling villa at the centre of which stands a huge wooden four-poster bed with views onto a magnificent wrap-around open terrace, and the jungle below.
I suddenly realise that the rather noisy screeching in the background is the sound of monkeys. ‘Wow, this is amazing.’
‘Enjoy your stay, Miss. If you need anything, please call reception.’ I watch as he disappears and am left standing in wonderment at the beautiful surroundings.
It doesn’t take me long to make myself at home and later on, pottering into the huge bathroom with floor-to-ceiling views over the valley below, I check my mobile for messages whilst simultaneously filling the large marble bathtub with water and foam.
‘I wonder what that’s about?’ I say aloud, noticing an email from Bermuda International School. Stripping off, I wait impatiently for the water to reach a good level before sinking myself in. I immediately feel the tension leaving my body as I relax under the bubbles and take the chance to read the very unexpected message, my eyes widening in surprise with each word. I certainly hadn’t bargained for any response to the email I’d sent Jerome rejecting his offer. Especially as I’d told him I was filling my time with tutoring for the time being.
‘Well, I never,’ I whisper to myself, heart racing in my chest as I take stock of his kindly tip off. In honesty, I never knew such a programme existed – at least not here in Bali. Of course, I’ve heard of bespoke tutoring schemes but not one like this. Founded by Jerome’s ex-colleague, he elaborates on how this scheme offers to pay for the tutoring of a local underprivileged child for every child tutored online.