Passport to Happiness

by Carrie Stone

  I head to the website he’s given me, astounded to discover how successful and influential the tutoring company is, with links to various charitable study programmes and community education here in Bali. I waste no time in contacting the founder.

  Feeling satisfied with my reaching out message, I place my mobile on the floor beside the bath, taking a moment to consider the impact this could have. If I was to secure a place within this new company, I’d surely have more than enough to fund my lifestyle here – not to mention be able to do something as rewarding as tutoring a less fortunate child too. It would be the best of both worlds. I make a mental note to thank Jerome profusely after my bath and sink back into the water, feeling immediately at peace with life.

  I stay that way, in a blissful state of tranquillity, until I’m interrupted again by my mobile. Noticing it’s from Luuk, I reach for it and burst out laughing as I open the funny photo he’s sent. It’s one of us from earlier; a random stray dog in the background is licking its butt right next to my face.

  ‘Hilarious, how did we not notice that dog!’

  A humorous reply swiftly comes back and within minutes, I find myself telling him about the tutoring opportunity and am a little surprised when my phone suddenly rings. Grabbing a towel, I leap from the bath and wrap it around me, answering him as I do so.

  ‘Hey you.’

  ‘Yo.’ He pauses for a split second and clears his throat. ‘I thought it was easier to call you. I get fed up with typing stuff.’

  ‘Sure. I’m the same.’ I’m not, but I don’t want him to feel awkward. Nonetheless, I’m secretly delighted that he’s called me as hearing his voice feels comforting.

  ‘So this tutoring thing, it’d be a fantastic opportunity for you. It’d be right up your street,’ he says, sounding intrigued. ‘I hope you get it.’

  ‘Me too,’ I reply smiling, feeling warmed by his positive encouragement.

  ‘By the way, I meant to mention earlier when we were chatting about your volunteering involvement with turtles, that I did some photos for the Bermudian programme when I was there the other month. I have them on my camera, remind me to show you.’

  ‘What?’ My heart jumps into my throat and I immediately think of Shanice and the photos she’d raffled off. Surely not? It simply can’t be? What are the chances. I mean, yes, Luuk had mentioned that he’d briefly visited Bermuda for a two-day trip on his way to a shoot in the States. But I’d assumed he meant to look around as he hadn’t elaborated further.

  ‘Hang on, does this mean, that you were the Tiger Shark Project photographer that offered to do a free shoot for a lady called Shanice?’ I hold my breath, not daring to believe it’s possible.

  ‘What the f—’ Luuk splutters, sounding surprised. ‘Whoa, how do you know that?!’

  ‘Because Shanice is my very good friend!’ I reply, astounded and not quite believing the serendipity at play. ‘She was telling me all about you months ago. In fact, I even bought ten raffle tickets to try and win a copy of your photos.’

  For a split second there’s a stunned silence as we both consider the phenomenal fluke before neither of us are able to maintain our composure any longer.

  ‘That’s hilarious,’ Luuk says, bursting out laughing, finding it far more amusing than he should. ‘Please tell me you at least won the raffle.’

  Chuckling at his obvious amusement, I grimace. ‘Nope. Not a sausage. I didn’t even win a runner-up prize.’

  ‘Fancy that,’ he says and from his tone I know he’s grinning to himself. ‘Well, how about I make it up to you by giving you a copy of all of them, for free?’

  ‘That could definitely work,’ I reply, unable to stop myself smiling at his consideration. ‘Isn’t it uncanny though, to think we were both in Bermuda, at the same time, involved with the same turtle conservation project?’

  ‘It is. It’s spooky.’ He pauses for moment. ‘You know there’s also a turtle conservation programme here too? My friend runs it. If you want me to put a word in for you, I can?’

  ‘Ooh, would you? I’d love that!’ I reply, feeling excited. ‘Do you think they need any help? I’d be happy to help with anything, really. Even cleaning them.’

  Luuk laughs heartily. ‘Hey, don’t get too carried away just yet. Let’s see what my friend says…’ He pauses for a moment. ‘If you’re interested in helping bull sharks though, I do know of a local charity looking for more volunteers.’

  ‘Shut up. Are you serious?’ Astounded, I wonder how I’d ever build up enough courage to willingly get into a tank with a shark and quickly decide that I wouldn’t. Ever.

  ‘Dead serious. Which you might be too, if you take me up on that.’ I can picture him grinning at himself as he says it.

  ‘Ha bloody ha. I’ll stick with turtles and dogs, thanks. And if this new tutoring connection materialises, I’ll have the best of all worlds – children included.’

  ‘Let’s hope you hear soon. It’d be good for you to have something that makes you stick around for a while…’

  Walking across to my bed, I knot my towel tighter, smiling to myself. ‘Trying to keep me here longer huh?’

  ‘Too right. It’s been the best six weeks not having to be chief pooper scooper at the pound. I want you here permanently if it means I’m off shit duty.’

  We both laugh and then I hear him yawn and find myself following suit.

  ‘Bali is just my pit stop. You know that; so don’t get too comfortable in that untouchable poop-free throne. But yeah, if this tutoring thing pans out, it’d be a lovely bonus.’

  He yawns again, this time louder.

  ‘Well, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you with the tutoring. I need to go now, I’ve got an early photo gig tomorrow. Enjoy the hotel and see you Thursday.’

  ‘Thanks, I will do. See you Thursday.

  *

  ‘Nah, I think he’s definitely a Bob Marley.’ Luuk pushes the black and white puppy at me for closer consideration.

  ‘Seriously, you can’t call a dog Bob Marley.’ I shake my head in exasperation and reach out for the pup, who licks my hand furiously. ‘What about Panda? That’s what I’d call him.’ Turning the pup over, I rub its warm chubby belly.

  Luuk watches me for a moment, grinning as the puppy suddenly jumps up and nuzzles my face and I in turn kiss its head. I look at him quizzically.

  ‘What? Why are you grinning like that, is Panda that bad a name?’

  ‘You just look super cute together.’ He stands up from the floor where we’re sitting and dusts off his hands. ‘No, I think you’re right – Panda is a good name. I’ll call him Panda.’

  ‘Really?’ I hear myself sounding far more excited than I should, after all he’s not even my puppy – he’s Luuk’s – but I’m flattered he’s allowed me to choose its name. ‘Hello, Panda Bear,’ I say, looking at the fluffy little bundle and watching it wag its tail in approval.

  ‘Err, just Panda please. Otherwise I’m going to sound like an idiot calling out Panda Bear on the beach.’

  We both laugh at the thought and, standing up to join Luuk, I hand the puppy back to him.

  ‘I still can’t believe you’ve caved and adopted one. What happens when you go off to travel with work though?’

  ‘I’ve got lots of options for him to be looked after by friends. Even Carly has offered. And if I do end up leaving Bali, I’ll just take him wherever I go. Dogs can get passports too.’

  ‘I know that. I guess I was just thinking that getting a dog means you’re tied to Bali but you’re right, you know so many people here, it wont be a problem.’ We walk side by side for a moment and I look out at the rice paddy we are passing. ‘Do you think you’ll leave Bali in the future?’

  Luuk considers this for a moment and shrugs. ‘I don’t know. I’ve pretty much travelled the world over for work and yet this place seems to have something special that makes me want to stay here. Maybe if I met a woman and was in love, that’d influence my decision too. I’d want her to be happy
with where we were living. And the world would be our oyster.’

  ‘Such a romantic,’ I tease, meeting his gaze and looking away as my breath catches in my throat. From the way he is looking at me, I instinctively feel that on some level, whether he’s aware of it or not, he’s referring to me. The realisation makes my heart beat faster.

  ‘How’s things going with your fundraiser – I overheard you mention to Carly you’d hit £220?’

  My heart sinks a little and I feel conflicted, relieved and dismayed all at once. Obviously I was way off base on that one. He’s clearly not into me if he’s completely changing the subject. Or was he reflecting on Indah? At that thought, I feel suddenly resentful.

  I quickly nod my head, trying to dispel Indah from my mind. ‘Yes, it’s going really well so far. I’d only hoped to raise £150 so even if it stays at that amount, I’m super happy it’s exceeded all of my expectations.’

  ‘If you’d have told me you were doing it a bit sooner, I’d have joined you.’ He glances at me sideways. ‘It’s on my list to hike Mount Agung too. So I would’ve gone for the double whammy.’

  Laughing at his bravado – for I know that Gunung Agung is twice the height of Batur – I shake my head and dramatically roll my eyes.

  ‘Of course you would have.’ I don’t add that although a few months ago I would’ve loved anybody – even a stranger – to join me on a mountain hike, let alone Luuk, it’s now become something that has a deeper meaning and personal achievement attached. If truth be told, I’m looking forward to doing it alone and don’t want to share the experience.

  ‘If you really mean that, we can do Mount Agung together next month,’ I add, challenging him. ‘Seeing as I’ll be a hiking professional by then.’ I watch his face crease into a smile. ‘Hiking and surfing professional,’ I correct myself, grinning at him.

  He laughs and shakes my hand. ‘You’ve got yourself a deal. Speaking of which, how’s the surfing coming along?’

  ‘Miraculously, it’s going really well.’ My new twice-weekly surf lessons run by Luuk’s French friend have been an eye-opener to say the least. I had no idea I’d find it so thrilling or that I’d progress so quickly. I think it’s safe to say it’s become my favourite pastime – which, for someone who isn’t the slightest bit sporty, is a huge thing.

  ‘Do you fancy Echo Beach again then at the weekend?’ Luuk asks as we arrive back at BDR. ‘I know you also wanted to check out that new beach warung in Canguu too, we can do that on Sunday if you like?’

  ‘Yes to both, although I did promise to check out that place with Carly…’ I follow Luuk through the staff entry and into the back yard.

  ‘Oh, no worries if you’re already going with her,’ he says, placing Panda in a makeshift cage. ‘There you go boy.’

  ‘I’d rather go with you though,’ I say, picking up my bag. ‘To the beach warung I mean.’

  Luuk lifts his head up and meets my eyes and I feel myself flush. He hesitates for a moment as if he wants to say something, but instead just smiles at me.

  ‘Then let’s go together. I’m a better driver than Carly anyway. She won’t mind if you go with me first.’

  ‘Carly wont mind what?’ The voice creeps up behind us and we both spin around, smiling as we see the woman herself standing in the doorway. ‘It’s not nice to gossip behind people’s backs you know.’

  I laugh, although inside I’m a little disappointed she’s ruined our moment. ‘I was just saying about our plans to check out that new beach place this weekend. Luuk asked me to go with him.’

  ‘Ooooh, did he?’ She winks at both of us and makes a smooching noise then, perhaps sensing the awkward tension, suddenly stops. ‘Only joking. Sure – you two should go for it.’ She looks at me and shrugs. ‘We can go anywhere for dinner. It’s actually better for me to stay local as my bike’s got a flat.’

  ‘That’s sorted then.’ Luuk picks up Panda in his cage and walks across to the kitchen. ‘I’ve got to crack on with work, I’ll leave you both to it.’ He turns to me. ‘See you tomorrow, I’ll pick you up at ten?’

  ‘Perfect.’

  Carly glances at me, intrigued, but keeps mute until he’s out of earshot. ‘What’s going on with you two and all these meet ups?’

  ‘How do you mean? We’re just friends, friends meet up. Just like you and I do.’ My tone is defensive and I start to back towards the door. ‘Sorry, I cant stay and chat. I’ve also got to make a move – my tutoring starts in an hour.’

  ‘OK, I’ll message you tomorrow about plans for dinner,’ Carly replies, shaking off her hoodie and reaching into her backpack for something. ‘Word of advice before you go though.’

  I stop as I reach the door. ‘What’s that?’

  Carly looks briefly behind her before she speaks in a low voice. ‘Stop lying to yourself about Luuk.’ Her voice sounds playful and teasing but her eyes give her away. She’s serious.

  Sighing, I shake my head and politely grin at her. ‘Whatever.’ I open the door and wave behind me. ‘Have a good day, speak to you tomorrow about dinner.’ I hear her cheerful goodbye just before it closes with a thud.

  Having decided to brave the walk home, I’ve plenty of thinking time on my journey and my mind can’t seem to get away from Carly’s words. Am I kidding myself about Luuk? Is it more than friendship? I mean, yes there seems to be something between us but I wouldn’t call it a spark … and besides, Luuk also appears to now have Indah. Dismissing the thought, I reaffirm in my mind that it’s harmless. Luuk knows I’m just a friend; we work together and hang out together sometimes. And yes, there’s a feeling of mutual connection but that doesn’t mean we’re in love or cheating ourselves. Does it?

  My afternoon passes quickly thanks to my single tutoring session turning into three sessions and as I finally pack up my notes, I calculate that within the past month I’ve earned the same salary as I was earning in the UK, for a fraction of the time and effort. To say I’m shocked is an understatement, especially as the cost of living is much cheaper and my quality of life is exceeding even my expectations. Bali is allowing me to have much more balance and flexibility. At this rate, if I was to stay here long-term, there wouldn’t even be a need to find any type of full-time job, especially if I’m successful in securing the other tutoring job that Jerome recommended as well. I quickly dismiss the idea, telling myself I couldn’t give up my lifelong career as easily as that…

  Or could I?

  I love it here in Bali, so what’s stopping me from never returning to a classroom in the traditional teaching sense?

  Absolutely nothing.

  Why then, am I still only treating it as a temporary pit stop?

  Chapter 19

  I check my rucksack for what must be the twentieth time, noticing Kadek eyeing me with amusement. He’s not quite what I was expecting, given Carly’s description. He’s certainly not someone I’m entirely confident entrusting with the safety of my limbs while I avoid toppling off the side of the imposing volcano ahead. I glance again in his direction, trying not to be too judgemental, but can’t help feeling concerned at the tiny, slight and dare I say, limping, stranger who is supposedly going to lead me adeptly up 1700ft to the summit of this volcano. But hey ho, what choice do I have now? We’re setting off in five minutes and my driver has already left. I’m pretty much stranded here alone, save for another small group of people just visible in the distance. It’s two o’clock in the morning and I would be blanketed in pitch darkness except for the light of the moon and the small torch Kadek has handed me.

  ‘We go now,’ he says, startling me.

  ‘OK, I’m ready.’ I re-adjust my rucksack, feeling confident that I’ve got everything I might possibly need clothes wise – including a rain poncho which Luuk had gifted me, despite the weather being clear and dry. Plus three snack bars, some fruit and a sandwich – you know, in case I get peckish. Five hours is a long time not to eat.

  It’s soon clear that I’d misjudged Kadek for he’s sprightl
y, agile and already much further ahead. I begin to wonder how on earth I’ll continue ascending for I’m already struggling to breathe and my legs are starting to burn. I wouldn’t exactly consider myself ‘fit’ but I thought it’d take a while for these things to happen. I glance at my watch. It’s only been nineteen minutes.

  ‘You need to rest?’ Kadek asks, slowing down and waiting for me to join him on the loose dirt track we’re following. ‘Better to take slowly. We have long way to go.’

  I don’t need telling twice. We take a pit stop on a narrow ledge and I sip my water, cursing the humidity that is making my vest top stick to my body and my leggings feel damp with sweat. Yet before I know it, we’re continuing the climb and I gradually feel my lungs start to relax, my legs begin to find their flow and I’m finally managing to keep up. We climb in single file, concentrating only on putting one foot ahead of the other and occasionally needing to hold on as the ground underfoot becomes displaced, loose and flaky.

  We settle into a steady pace and are soon chatting enough for me to grasp that this is Kadek’s only source of income outside of attending to rice fields. I’m shocked to learn he does this hike almost daily in order to provide for his family, for there is little in the way of work in this area. I make a mental note to give him a very generous tip for his guidance – I cannot imagine how anyone can safely navigate a mountain daily without it putting an extraordinary strain on their physical wellbeing.

  ‘Look. You can see view from here and other group below,’ Kadek says, stopping amidst a particularly steep part of the climb and pointing out into the darkness beyond. I follow his finger and am startled to see tiny dots of light and, thanks to the illumination of the moon, a silhouette of the landscape below. I softly gasp, having not realised how far up we must already be, and immediately feel a sense of immense accomplishment for making it so far. The lights are attached to what looks like ants from this perspective.