Holy Sheoly

by Hunter Blain

  “Why am I here?” I asked, spitting on the ground between us. Well, I tried to spit but only managed to get a string of drool in my beard. “And whe-where’s Joey?”

  “Now that is a fun question!” Samael exclaimed, straightening before dancing his way up the throne. When I say dancing, I mean the sonofabitch shrugged his shoulders to a beat only he could hear while bouncing his arms in front of him and slightly gyrating his hips. His feet tapped on the carpeted steps as he ascended, ending with a twirl and jazz hands. Then he plopped down on the throne, letting a leg hang over one of the armrests.

  I stared at him, already sick of his show of victory.

  “Let’s start with your first question, shall we?” he said while propping his elbow up on the other armrest and letting his head dangle back as he smiled at me anew.

  I scowled in disappointment that my nemesis was so flamboyant, taking away from the absolute severity of the situation.

  A rumbling of throaty chuckles came from somewhere behind me, and I forced my throbbing head around with gritted teeth to see a gathering of—what I could only assume to be—nobles of Hell.

  “All for show,” I mouthed to myself as I turned back to the performing maestro.

  Now that there was a collection of demon assholes to witness my defeat, I clenched my jaw until it popped as I forced myself up. First, I pressed my right palm against the ground, allowing for leverage, before jerking my right foot into place. With a drawn-out groan I tried to suppress, I placed my right hand on my knee and pushed up to a standing position, feeling as if my veins were going to burst from how hard I was straining.

  Samael’s smile morphed into one of delight at seeing his opponent pull out strength enough to defy the odds. His eyes, however, were filled with a calculating focus.

  I stood on my right leg while my entire left side dangled uselessly. The foot below my broken knee was content to rest with the top of my toes barely touching the ground.

  Raising my chin, I glared at Satan and wordlessly gestured, “Is that all you got?”

  “There he is,” Samael declared flatly with a shark’s grin, accepting my challenge. His tone reverted back to one of a feline playing with its prey. “To answer your question of why you are here: you are simply my guest.”

  “So I’m free to leave then?” I asked, my right hand tingling. It felt like I was about to summon my gladius, but slightly different; more of a magnetic sensation.

  “Oh no,” Samael chortled as the rest of his demon nobles began a murmur of laughter. One of the voices sounded like a damn hyena, and it was annoyingly distracting. “No, John. You are to be my guest...forever.”

  “You mean prisoner,” I corrected in a statement rather than a question.

  “Tomato, tomato,” he countered, using the same pronunciation both times. Lilith, what a dick.

  My right hand flexed a few times, feeling as if I had broken glass where my knuckles had been and making me quietly grunt, but I couldn’t shake the tingling feeling in my fingers.

  “As for your second question...Joey is...indisposed...but perhaps what is more interesting an inquiry: Where is Baleius?” Samael hissed for all to hear, never losing his stupid grin. At that moment, he reminded me of Jack Nicholson as the Joker, and it made me hate him for ruining that character for me.

  My eyes reflexively went up to the body on the cross before I lowered my scowling gaze to land back on Mephistopheles right as he reached a hand into his chest pocket and withdrew a glowing orb.

  “Baleius!” I barked before sharply wincing from my muscles contracting all at once in preparation for a fight, effectively sapping my remaining energy. I forced myself to relax while mentally begging my rage to remain in control. It was like I was the captain of an old wooden ship trying to reason with the kraken as it continued to wrap deadly tentacles around the vessel. I was completely at its mercy, knowing I was about to be dragged under the surface.

  “Would you care to do the honors?” Samael asked, prompting me to open my eyes and behold the spark that flew toward my fuse.

  “I would be delighted,” Ulric purred, stepping up from behind the throne to stand beside his master. “I was the one who gave him the dark gift, after all. It would only be fitting that I was the one to remove it.”

  Ulric held out his hand while staring at me with justice in his eyes. It infuriated me that, to him, I was the one in the wrong.

  Samael casually dropped the glowing orb into Ulric’s hand, who summoned his obsidian staff tipped with the Spear of Destiny.

  He theatrically eyed the glowing orb of my friend whose only crime was choosing the side of Light.

  “Don’t...you...fucking...dare...” I demanded between heaving breaths. My body screamed its pain, but it was now far, far away. Both of my fists clenched and I felt fire in my bones. Setting my left foot flatly on the ground, I shifted my weight evenly over both legs as I lowered my head and bared my teeth in a maniac’s snarl.

  Samael’s expression changed to one of fascination as he let his leg that had been draped over the armrest drop down next to the other. He leaned forward with a gleam in his eyes.

  “You dare challenge me, child?” Ulric accused as he brought the glowing orb closer to the spear, his intentions clear.

  The audience murmured to themselves as I saw how members began moving away in my peripheral vision.

  My right hand twitched once, violently, drawing Ulric’s and Samael’s attention.

  “Hey, Ulric,” I called out, glaring with a hatred that could give birth to a new universe if I went critical and exploded. “You can’t destroy him.”

  “Oh? Pray tell,” Ulric said as he narrowed his eyes.

  “Because he doesn’t belong to you. He,” I declared as I lifted my hand, palm up, “is MINE!”

  There was a gasp from the audience as the orb was now in my hands, leaving Ulric grasping at nothing but air.

  Samael’s smile widened while my maker barked out in indignation.

  Ulric’s crimson battle robes flowed over his body as his eyes blazed red, green, and purple.

  I flicked my eyes to the orb and time stopped.

  A man was standing in front of me while in the control room of my mind. He was beautiful, with shiny black hair that looped in loose circles down to his shoulders. Green eyes stared at me, and I knew I was looking at my friend’s angelic form.

  “Ba-Baleius?” I stammered.

  “Hi, John,” he answered with pride in his voice.

  “Wha-what’s going on?”

  “You’ve fully accepted me as a part of you.”

  “You’re...you’re beautiful...” I said lamely, not knowing what else to say.

  “Father did good work,” Baleius replied with a sly smile as he looked down at himself. “Jesus, it has been so very long since...” His words caught in his throat, and I took note that he didn’t say Lilith.

  “What, um, what happens no-now?” I asked, fearing the answer.

  “Now? Now you absorb all of me into your soul,” Baleius told me with a warm smile that touched his eyes.

  “I thought you were already a part of my soul. I-I don’t understand.” I was near pleading, as if my simplified explanation would prevent the inevitable.

  Da was standing in the middle of a glass-top ocean, smiling as his direct reflection sucked up into his body. Looking down, I now saw the beautiful angel, Baleius, looking back at me. Da had told me this was coming without saying a word.

  Gabriel came to mind next, telling me how to become stronger by accepting myself completely. “Only with acceptance can we grow,” he had said.

  “The body is a reservoir that contains the soul. You see, before, we were two different entities occupying the same container. With a degree of effort and determination, we most likely could have been separated. I believe that is what happens when a priest exorcises a demon from a living host. But now…” Baleius paused, as if reinforcing his decision within his own mind. “When we first met, I was absorbed into
your body and affected your very soul along with it, but we were still two. Now, you must absorb all of me while inside this room, using your literal soul as the vessel from which only one can reside. You will become something that the universe has never seen.”

  “But...what happens to you?”

  “I don’t know. But I guess I’ll find out, won’t I?”

  “I don’t like this,” I said, shaking my head back and forth. “There’s got to be another way. I mean, you’re back! Right? Isn’t that good enough?”

  “You and I both know that you stand no chance against Ulric, not to mention my brother.”

  “What are you saying, dude?” I asked softly, feeling my throat tightening. Baleius had been there with me since the beginning, and even with our recent differences, he was still a part of me. He had proven where he stands when he saved my soul, and I didn’t want to lose him.

  “I’m saying, we don’t have a choice. I can’t explain how I know it, but you will become stronger by absorbing me. Think about your body when you first infused me into your DNA. Then again with my brother Raziel. Your body,” he said, walking to the windows outside and looking up my lifeless form where it hung upside down on the cross, “became exponentially stronger with each infusion. Imagine what will happen to your soul once an angel becomes one with it. Not just a partial infusion, mind you, total absorption.” He stepped toward me, placing his hands on my shoulders as I stood with my mouth hanging open in dismay. He was right. He was no longer the demon in my head. Baleius was an angel again, choosing to turn his back on the darkness and embrace the light, even to the point of his own personal oblivion.

  “Please,” I whispered, “Don’t make me do this.”

  “You’re a good man, John. You have a pure heart, and I honestly think you can save the universe. Who am I to stand in the way of salvation for billions?”

  “But the prophecy books...”

  “Forget about those, John. They were just words on paper. You,” he shook me once, “you are the writer of your own destiny. Now shut up and give me a hug.” Baleius’ smile was glorious as he pulled me in, wrapping his arms around me. I slowly lifted my own to return the embrace as I began to sob, knowing what was about to happen.

  “It’s okay, John. I’m not scared,” Baleius whispered, and I lost all composure. I belted out with a cry of sorrow as I squeezed my friend tighter against my chest. It grew warm where he touched, and I could feel my arms closing in like I was trying to give myself a hug.

  I stopped crying as power, and peace, began flowing through my soul. I gasped as everything went still.

  My mind went black and I saw the universe birthed in the fiery explosion of the Big Bang. The stars began springing to life like I was watching the events unfold at a speed that was almost unfathomable. Galaxies coalesced like clouds in the night sky. God, they were beautiful. Some were purple while others were a deep shade of blue, and every other color of the rainbow sprinkled around everywhere my eyes could take in. They continued to rush from one thing to another as everything I could see was now littered with flickering life. Inside of each colorful cloud were stars and planets beyond count that were all relying on me.

  I blinked, and a familiar ball of blue, green, and brown popped into view. The continents began moving apart just as a flaming meteor sent a shock wave of fire to encapsulate the Earth. Then it was cool again as the landmasses continued to form something that I recognized from modern maps.

  A screaming man flew past me, making me jump as another, and then another followed suit.

  Turning around in space, I saw angels with their heads hung low being stripped of their armors and cast out of Heaven.

  Samael was last, opting to remove his celestial birthright himself rather than have the archangels manhandle him. He threw his helmet on the ground at Michael’s feet, who was bleeding from fresh wounds. Last was his gladius, the first gladius ever made.

  As he held it, the blue, red, and white heavenflame flickered and dimmed, being replaced by chaotic fire in hues of red, orange, and green.

  The Archangel Michael tightened his grip on the impressive weapon he wielded.

  “You haven’t an idea of what’s coming, brother,” Samael hissed with a heaving chest. Blood coated most of his skin from grievous wounds that didn’t seem to bother him. My mind immediately flashed to me standing in front of Satan and Ulric and doing the exact same thing. Rage was an efficacious analgesic.

  “Where is Father? I demand to speak with Father!” Samael called out, trying to look past the archangels that blocked his way. My eyes locked onto Gabriel, who was further back. He had a look of consternation mixed with sorrow on his face.

  “Father does not wish to speak with you, outcast,” Michael answered coldly, hefting the weapon so that both hands gripped it. It was an overt warning of what was to come if compliance was not met.

  “Father does not speak, brother! That is the problem!” Samael saw the determination in Michael’s expression even as blood leaked down his right eye. Even though Samael wouldn’t kill his own brother, Michael would extend no such courtesy.

  “I cast you out, Samael. I cast you, and those that would follow you, out of Heaven. Let it be done,” Michael said gravely before springing forward and front kicking Samael in the chest.

  The gladius coated in the new fire given life by hatred went out and tumbled violently toward Earth as Samael screamed in rage. The sword disappeared through the clouds as the fallen angel’s cry morphed from that of a man to the horrendous bellow of a dragon.

  Lightning cracked the Earth’s sky as the beginnings of a tail disappeared under a blackened, roiling cloud cover.

  I turned back to Michael with mouth agape as he moved to replace his expressionless mask. As he did, a tear comprised of blood from his wound rolled down his cheek. The small, red drop stood in stark contrast to tears made of water, birthed from war instead of sorrow.

  The archangels turned and walked back toward the gates of Heaven as I snapped out of my vision.

  I lay on the ground inside the control room of my mind, trembling.

  Baleius was gone.

  21

  I wept. I tried to focus on my sorrow and squeeze as much of it out as I could, ignoring the power coursing through my spiritual body. My mind kept bubbling with vivid flashes of the Long Fall, threatening to fray my sanity with the overwhelming demand to be seen.

  A warm hand rested on my shoulder, and I sucked in a breath as I scrambled to my feet, looking all around. No one was in my mind except me. And no one would ever be in here again...except me.

  It’s okay. I’m not scared, were Baleius’ last words to me, making my throat tighten as a swelling of anguish tried to break like a wave cresting against a beach.

  Later, I told myself as I scowled and looked out the windows of my eyes. Time to make them pay.

  I was outside my body again, and felt an immediate rush of energy. My wounds healed within a few seconds as my eyes began pluming with white clouds that wafted out of my sockets and up my forehead.

  Ulric took a single step back as he eyed me up and down, confusion etching his features. Samael, on the other hand, leaned forward and steepled his fingers to press into his lips. His gaze was intent, taking in everything with a clinical eye.

  Regaining control, Ulric snapped his fingers, and movement from the corners of my vision drew my attention. Jacob and Stef were pushed into the room by grotesque demons wielding spears. My friends’ hands were tied behind their backs. Jacob was missing chunks out of his torso, upper arms, and several places on one of his legs. He had put up a huge fight before being overwhelmed. Stef had a discolored portion of skin over one eye that stretched to her Mohawk.

  “What are you doing?!” I barked through gritted teeth as I shot my pluming eyes back to Ulric.

  “Punishing your insolence, boy,” Ulric sneered as my friends were pushed to their knees on the right side of the base of the stairs, at least thirty feet away from where I stood.
The demons holding them down moved silently away, and my mouth became dry.

  My eyes flicked between them and my maker as my right hand tingled fiercely.

  Without a word, Ulric’s sneer turned into a smile of predation as he pointed the spear toward Jacob and Stef.

  “NO!” was all I could manage with an outstretched hand as green and purple fire rocketed from the staff to coat my friends.

  Stef’s shriek pierced my soul and shattered my heart as I watched her body darken and then fade into a mist. Jacob only tensed, refusing to scream, as the flames ate at his soul. It took longer than with the much smaller Stef, but he succumbed all the same and dissolved into a white mist that sank into the ground.

  I snapped.

  My hand shot up and latched onto Mjolnir as my body was forcibly yanked off the cross and flung toward where I stood. It turned in midair to realign with my soul and slammed into me.

  Within a fraction of a second—as I was fueled by vengeful wrath—my body and soul reacclimated and I opened my real eyes to stare at Ulric.

  I felt the change as my fangs elongated and my irises turned scarlet. And for the first time in my long life, I felt the change even in the whites of my eyes as the entirety of my orbs became a furious, glowing crimson.

  Glowing red eyes plumed with white power that traveled up my face like flames as my gladius sprang to life with a shock wave, pushing the air out of the way in a violent birthing.

  Heavenflame dripped from the roiling blade in my left hand as Mjolnir hummed with dancing electricity in my right. In a fury-charged blur, I slammed my Norse hammer and celestial sword together above my head, and a cataclysmic explosion sent electrified heavenfire in an expanding bubble of absolute destruction all around me.

  The Hell nobles shrieked as the flames engulfed them. Walls were reduced to atoms as stone pillars crumbled like a leaf blower aimed at a stack of loose dirt.

  Samael did not move, but Ulric took a defensive stance with his staff pointed directly in front of him, and my attack completely vanished in an instant.