I Wanna Sext You Up

by Evie Claire

  Lorie put her head in her hands, taking a deep breath and trying her damnedest to summon up an ounce of the anger she’d started her run with. It wasn’t coming. Was it him or was it the run? She probably shouldn’t answer that.

  “Saam, this is why we can’t…” She stopped, not wanting to elaborate on what they already knew. Like if she didn’t say it aloud it couldn’t hurt her. “It complicates things way too much. If people knew what happened between us.”

  Saam. Sugar Lake. Sex hot as the summer night they’d made it on.

  She inhaled sharply at a memory she couldn’t stop from invading her brain. “I could lose my job—my professional reputation at least. Same for you, too, I assume. What would the Children’s Hospital say if they knew you’d fucked your Lampalin sales rep?”

  The instant the word hit his brain, he spun on his heels wildly, eyes hot with rage.

  “Don’t you dare call it that. That’s not what we did, and you know it. I may be the most socially inept man in the world, but even I know that.” His hands fisted at his sides, an outlet for the emotion he couldn’t release.

  Lorie stood. This conversation wasn’t going where it needed to. Maybe she should leave. Let things calm down. Then they could talk rationally. Only when she put weight on the foot, the ankle buckled beneath her.

  “Shit!” She grimaced, falling to the couch, grabbing her foot, and bringing it to her. The next instant, Saam’s hands were on her, too. Supporting the joint, making a brace with his bare palms. Instantly, the pain vanished. Magically. Was that a medical thing? Or the effect he had on her again?

  Oh, shit. What am I doing?

  She shouldn’t.

  They shouldn’t.

  It was a raw, visceral reaction. Reason wholly absent from the decision. But that’s the confusion he caused within her. Her forces of right and wrong so conflicted neither of them held as much weight as his touch.

  Slowly but surely, she was forgetting him. But then with one touch, he’d brought it all back. The way his warm skin shimmered in silver moonlight. The way his eyes dazzled in the darkness.

  And now a wounded look—from a blow she’d dealt—haunting those same eyes. Eyes she didn’t want to see cut so deeply, not when she was the one who held the knife.

  His eyes raked hungrily over her body. Mouth open, his gaze landed on her thigh, and then quickly back to her again. Lips rubbing furiously over each other as he formulated his thoughts, he placed her foot in his lap and then looked away. It was obvious there was something there. Something that needed to get out. Lorie recognized it, because identical emotions fought inside her. Dr. Saam Sherazi was the most forbidden fruit she’d ever tasted. And even though another bite risked an irrevocable change to life as she knew it, her mouth watered for more.

  Forgetting herself, she felt a groan ease from her throat and spill over her tongue in one long low sound. A sound so far past pain it could only be pleasure. His hands stilled where they were. Frozen. Waiting. When neither of them did a thing but stare, she felt the tips of his fingers ease away from her ankle and begin to trace up the inside of her calf. Teasing, tickling, popping goosebumps as they progressed farther. Her lids grew heavy with how badly she needed him. Then they closed slightly, at the same time another sigh ripped through her.

  Because now his hands had reached the back of her knee. A place that felt so fucking sexy for his hands to be she had to tense every muscle north of the spot to keep from flying off the couch. She didn’t stop him. She opened her eyes and stared longingly into his. Her lips trembling with everything she wanted to say. Everything she needed to say. Words that most definitely needed to wait until they finished whatever this was and her brain could focus on them once again.

  In one quick motion, Saam curled his fingers around her knee, spread her legs wide, and sank to his knees on the couch in front of her. She was ready for him, taking his head in her hands and guiding his lips to hers. The initial contact so brutally hard it would’ve hurt had it not been everything she wanted.

  How many nights had she dreamed of this? How many times had she soaked her pillow fearing she would never feel him again? And here he was, between her legs in the flesh. So much for hiding the smell of her arousal. With him between her legs, they were bathed in it. Their kisses perfumed by how desperate she was for him. And he knew it. Greedily he drew in great heaving breaths of her. The force of them matched only by the force of his hands working to free her from the constraints of sweaty running clothes.

  Oh god, is he really going to do this?

  She couldn’t think about it. She wouldn’t think about it. She would only think about him. Tearing at his button-down until he was naked from the waist up, his hot flesh warming her shivers when she pulled her running tank over her head. Followed quickly by a sports bra that fought them every inch of the way. And then he moved deftly to her shorts. Skinning them over her hips only to discover she didn’t wear anything under the built-in panties.

  And there she was. Buck naked, sprawled on his couch in all her glory. He stood for a moment, staring down at her as he dropped his own pants to the floor. She inhaled quickly. Appreciatively.

  Seeing him like that made crazy thoughts pop into her head. Because he was gorgeous. Dark olive skin. Taut soccer-player body. Tousled hair and searing blue eyes.

  “I’m so dirty…” Lorie teased, hearing the words come out of her mouth with unrehearsed but porn-star perfect, seduction.

  “Dirty washes,” Saam answered, his eyes never leaving hers. His face not giving away a single bit of his thoughts. And his move was a quick bend toward her. One that ended with him scooping her up in his arms and carrying her into his bathroom. In the bathroom, he set her down at the edge of a walk-in shower.

  “Do you have something?” Lorie asked, teetering on the edge.

  “Yes. If this is what you want.” His gaze was fire-brand hot, giving her the opportunity to stop, if she wanted to. She didn’t want to. Her need for him was too much to ignore.

  She nodded and stepped into him. Wrapping her in his arms, he slid his hands down to her ass and cupped it as he hoisted her up. Her legs circled his waist, allowing him room to walk her into the shower, turn on the water, and pin her up under its spray.

  Their bodies still knew exactly what to do. Seconds later, groans ripped through the lofty penthouse walls. Hers soft and high. His hard and low.

  Under the misty spray of that showerhead, they found each other, came together, and tried to satisfy a craving that had gone too long ignored.

  Over.

  And over again.

  Chapter 26

  Saam

  Can you ever get enough of the thing you desire most? It bordered on the verge of mental insanity the way his body responded to Lorie’s. All thought. All logical reasoning. Everything that ever meant anything in his world ceased to exist the moment their flesh met. It was like an alternate reality, being inside Lorie. Being beside Lorie. Hell, just being with her if he was being honest.

  It wasn’t his fault they were making love for the third time in under an hour. Like one magical tantric sex session that never found its end because neither party was ever satisfied. First the shower. Then the bathroom counter. And now in his bed.

  “God, Lorie,” he breathed into the small space between her shoulder and ear that he’d become quite acquainted with of late. “You’re like a drug.”

  She giggled, landing a kiss on his neck and sliding it up to his ear. When her lips met his lobe, she sucked it into her mouth and repaid the favor of his earlier nibble. It was a move that was exactly why he couldn’t stop fucking her. She wanted him. And he’d never been wanted by a woman like this before.

  Sex was great. Who didn’t love sex when it was good? With Lorie, however, it was something entirely different. A whole-body experience that was way too passionate for a causal encounter. Were
their bodies trying to convince them of something their minds weren’t able to see?

  Looking down at her buried in his pillows, all orgasm-induced glowing skin and broad grin, he couldn’t help but smile back. Wild and dizzy with love like she made. It was love drunk bliss, until another image came to mind. Her in a coffee shop. Saying goodbye.

  Which one to believe? The woman curled warmly beside him? Or the distant, aloof memory she’d become?

  And where the hell was Amal when he needed her? There should be some sort of conversation between him and Lorie. Some sort of discussion. He knew that. What he didn’t know was how to make that happen. Or even the words to say. Phoning a friend certainly didn’t seem like a lifeline one could use when the aftershocks of orgasm still tingled in his balls. Even if his intentions were coming from the right place.

  No, if he and Lorie were going to make sense of the situation they now found themselves in, he was going to have to figure out how to get them there by himself.

  “We…need…to talk.” Saam stuttered over the words, hating them because he knew how uncertain they were. Especially now.

  Beside him, she cleared her throat, pulled the covers closer around her nakedness, and swallowed hard.

  “Yeah,” she answered after a minute. Stalling for time? Not knowing what to say? Thinking of how to let him down gently…again? It was so frustrating. What is she thinking?

  “I got my funding.”

  “Really?” She pushed up beside him, turning and resting on his chest, clearly not expecting the news. Her smile told him what he needed to know. It fell when he grimaced. Her eyes fluttered all around, thinking. “From who?” she asked tentatively.

  “Durden.”

  “Shit.” She pushed all the way up to sitting, taking her head in her hands and moving to the far side of the bed. She hooked a leg over the edge and hauled herself the rest of the way over. Farther away from him.

  Shit.

  “Lorie, let’s just talk. Let’s put on our clothes, get something to eat, and talk about our situation.”

  Reluctantly, her bare back still to him, she nodded from behind her hands.

  “Take your time. I’ll order some food.” Saam grabbed his khakis off the floor, pulling into them and padding barefoot to the den and the drawer where he kept a stack of to-go menus.

  Minutes passed. She remained in his bedroom. Not a single sound coming from behind a half-closed door. What is she doing in there?

  After waiting on hold long enough to triple his anxiety, he placed an order, hung up with the Chinese restaurant down the block, and turned to find Lorie behind him in her running clothes. Holding all her weight on one leg, she shifted to avoid putting pressure on her injured ankle.

  “Let me wrap that for you,” he offered, pointing to her ankle.

  Silently she agreed, moving to the couch under the guidance of his hands without protest. He grabbed his gym bag, found an Ace bandage he always kept for emergencies, and returned to kneel in front of her.

  “Egg rolls and fried rice good with you?”

  Again, she nodded, but didn’t speak.

  Shit. He hated silent Lorie as much as he hated nervous Lorie. Nothing good ever came out of either one.

  She did nothing but watch, and wince slightly when he secured the brown bandage around her ankle.

  “I still can’t believe you saw my paper cut that day in your office.” Lorie rubbed a thumb over the cuticle he’d bandaged forever ago.

  “I’m a doctor. We’re trained to find the pain and take it away.”

  Lorie sighed, shaking her head, looking down at her finger. “Does that work on hearts, too?”

  Okay, maybe he didn’t like unsilent Lorie, either, at least not when her comments held so much foreboding. He sat back on his heels, keeping his grip on her ankle as long as he could—fearing once the touch was broken whatever spell they’d been under would be, too.

  “Literally, yes. Figuratively, no.”

  Does she sense the cliff we’re balanced on, too?

  Lorie leaned into him. Resting her forehead against his cheek, she placed her hands over his, pressing their warmth to her injury, squeezing tightly then trailing her fingertips over the ridges of his knuckles like she wanted to remember the feel forever. A small sound made its way out of her and into the space between them. It was a brutal sound. One that held the promises of heaven and the tortures of hell in a single breath. Still, she remained silently against him. He released her foot, rotating his wrist to take her hands in his. He landed a gentle kiss atop her head, and just like sleeping beauty, she stirred. And pulled away.

  “I don’t know how else to say this, Saam. There’s no way around this for us.” Lorie rubbed her hands down her running shorts, leaning back into his couch, allowing tears to pool on her lids. “I don’t regret you. I never will. But you just put Lampalin in a position to quadruple its sales. You also just received research funding that could easily surpass a hundred thousand dollars from Durden. Us aside, you have to understand what this looks like.”

  Saam stayed where he was in front of her, not daring to move again.

  “I do. And I haven’t accepted the grant yet. I may not.”

  “Saam, you have to take it. It’s what you’ve always wanted.”

  “True, but I never calculated this kind of cost.”

  Lorie looked up, slack jawed, clearly wondering if she was the valued asset he referred to. He shrugged. She moved to get off the couch, taking his hand to steady herself. She tried out the ankle, and finding it seaworthy, hobbled away from him.

  Shit.

  “Saam. We’ve got chemistry in spades. I won’t deny that. But the entire deck is stacked against us. It has been since the beginning. We can’t ignore that.”

  She was walking toward the door. He had to find a way to stop her. A way to make her realize the risk was worth it.

  “I know I have never met anyone like you. I’m not ready to lose whatever this is.” Saam followed her, feeling how inadequate his words were. He didn’t know what to say to make a girl stay. He’d never wanted one to. Until now. She stopped near the door, turning back to him, trying her weight on the ankle again. Her head shaking, lips pursed, she swallowed hard, and stared at the floor as she spoke softly, as if acknowledging the brutality of her words would be hard to hear.

  “See? Even you can’t put a name on what we’re doing here. But I can. We’re nothing more than glorified fuck buddies. There are no assurances with us. What Durden is offering you is rock solid. Are you willing to risk everything you’ve ever wanted professionally speaking over a week of hot sex?”

  Saam stepped back, taking her in. What did she just call us?

  “Fuck buddies?”

  Fuck buddies. Wow. He didn’t have the Urban Dictionary handy, but he didn’t have to. The implication was clear enough, and if that was how casual she felt about what had just happened, there wasn’t any point trying to convince her it was more.

  If that was how she wanted to play, he would be the asshole this time. Give it right back to her. Because she was asking for it.

  “I have never thought of you as a fuck buddy.” His upper teeth bit into his lip on the f sound, making it spit from his mouth like phlegm. “I would never disrespect you like that.” He paused, taking a deep breath, bracing himself against the words he was about to say, his voice now falling to a whisper with his own biting comeback. “Even if you do.”

  He balled a fist, slowly pushing it into the door until his knuckles blanched. His eyes remained closed, refusing to look at her. Tense silence filling the hallway, disturbed only by the sound of his fist sliding down the door, curling around the knob, and jerking it into him. “I think you should go.”

  He kept his eyes down, on his hand, only watching her go from his periphery.

  She lingered, her bre
ath audible in the small confines of his entryway. Still, he didn’t look at her.

  He’d thought she was perfect since the moment he laid eyes on her. She’d thought he was an asshole. In a way, he was simply giving her what she wanted.

  Asshole.

  Chapter 27

  Saam

  “Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice.” Saam welcomed the group. From where he stood at the podium in the Children’s Hospital’s meeting room, he could gauge his audience. The faces were familiar—some smiling, some blank, some annoyed at the last-minute board meeting he’d called. Rearranging schedules was irritating but necessary.

  “Before you, you will find where I have printed the proposed changes to diabetic patient protocols…” he started only to be interrupted by one particularly bored face.

  “These were accepted and instated two weeks ago. Why are we here again?” It was the hospital CEO. He pushed the stack of papers away without even cracking the first page.

  “If you will give me a moment, I’m getting to that.” Saam cleared his throat and picked up his own printed copy. “I was recently offered funding for a research project I have worked on since med school.”

  “Congratulations,” the board chairman, who sat to his right, offered.

  “Thank you,” Saam accepted with a small nod. “However, this funding comes from Durden Pharmaceuticals.” Saam paused, flipping through the pages until he reached the last one. “On the last page of my proposed protocol, you will see that each newly diagnosed patient is to be sent home with a prescription for Lampalin upon discharge. Durden makes Lampalin. I wholeheartedly believe in this product. But my research funding could potentially create a conflict of interest here. In an effort to avoid this, I thought it important to bring this to everyone’s attention. If the board reviews and votes on the implementation of these protocols it will create a barrier between the hospital and Durden and shield everyone involved from any liability.”