by Mia Madison
She deserved better than me. She always had. In the army, I’d known who I was and where I stood. Out here in the real world, I had no fucking clue. I had a business degree I didn’t know how I was going to use. I’d already disappointed my dad who’d wanted me to be a lawyer. My own mom hadn’t spoken to me—or vice versa—in about five years. And my stepmother would’ve been happier if I didn’t exist at all. The only people who had ever believed in me were my old unit, and Claire and Lanie.
I should be kissing the ground Lanie walked on, not fantasizing about kissing every other part of her. It was simple. She deserved better. Someone her age. Someone of her intellect. Someone who would be a positive force in her life, not drag her down.
Checking my watch, I groaned. It was time to go pick her up for dinner. Which meant it was time to see her—and the bed we’d be sharing tonight.
I’d never make it through the night. Not with her right next to me, so close yet so far away.
Shit.
This was going to be a really long night.
The bedroom door was closed when I got back to the room, so I sat on the balcony. The tip of The Matterhorn mostly covered by clouds, but it was still beautiful. The view was almost worth the agony this shared suite was putting me through.
Almost.
“Parker?”
I turned and got the breath knocked right out of me.
She was stunning.
Lanie had put on what could only be described as a little black dress. It was sleeveless, and low cut in front. It flared out a little at her hips, but ended well above her knees.
Shit. I should probably just jump off the balcony right now. Better to end up with one or more limbs in a cast then to act on the fantasies running through my head.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.” She lowered her eyes and looked bashful. “Umm… I couldn’t… I couldn’t get the zipper up. Do you mind?”
Yes, I minded. A lot. Because if I touched her right now, it would amplify my inner struggle by about a hundredfold. Maybe a thousand.
But I stood up and she moved in front of me, one hand on the railing, the other sweeping her luscious red hair out of the way.
And her skin… the pale, delicate skin of her back made me want to stroke my fingers up and down her all night long.
But I was good, placing one hand lightly on her shoulder while I pulled up the zipper. And when I was done, I did the last thing I wanted to do—I let her go.
Lanie
The hotel where we ate dinner was really fancy and formal. I was glad that Claire had warned me to bring a nice dress.
Parker was wearing a charcoal grey suit, and he looked better than every other man in the entire restaurant. Our waitress was so taken by him that she almost dropped his fillet mignon in his lap.
But for once I didn’t care about the other woman ogling him. Because he was here with me. And tonight, we’d share a room—and a bed. And I wasn’t sure how exactly this evening would end, but I knew he’d be the last person I saw before I went to sleep and the first person I saw when I woke up. I couldn’t imagine a better way to start or end a day.
The night air was fresh and full of promise as we walked back to the hotel. It was cool, too, and Parker draped first his suitcoat and then his arm around my shoulders. I burrowed against him while we walked.
“That was a delicious meal,” I said.
“It was.”
“I love this Zermatt. From reading about it, I was pretty sure I’d like it best. It’s so picturesque. But now that we’re here, it’s more than that. It feels almost magical, presided over by The Matterhorn. And the people are so nice… and so’s the company.”
His only answer was to squeeze his arm around my shoulder a bit more tightly. We walked side by side all the way to the hotel, and he kept his arm around me as we climbed the stairs and entered the room.
Once he’d unlocked the door, we stepped inside, neither of us reaching for the light. Instead, we both headed immediately for the balcony, where the snowy peak of The Matterhorn was faintly visible in the moonlight.
Parker stood behind me, one hand resting lightly on my shoulder. Then he whispered for me to wait there, and I did, hearing him move away.
A few minutes later, he reappeared, carrying two wine glasses. “I picked a bottle up from a little bar across the street when you were getting ready today.”
I took a glass and clinked it against his.
“To Switzerland.”
I was about to repeat his toast, but then I paused. Switzerland was amazing… but what made it even better was our being here together. “To our trip,” I replied.
We clinked our glasses and I took a sip. It was a delicious, deep red. I wasn’t much of a wine expert, but I liked the hint of sweetness in this one.
The night air cooled as we drank in the darkness. The faint outline of one of the world’s most famous mountains was awe-inspiring. And from a nearby building, the soft music reached us.
It took me a while to pinpoint it. It seemed to be coming from a second floor balcony, the one that Parker had said he could jump to if he had to.
I couldn’t identify the music. It was instrumental with a medium tempo. Whatever it was, it was pretty.
Parker set his glass down on the railing of the balcony, and then took mine from me. “Care to dance?” His voice was little more than a husky whisper in the night, but it sent shivers up and down my spine.
And then I was in his arms as he led me in small circles to the beat of the faint music.
God, how many times had I been in his arms so far this trip? More than I’d ever imagined, yet it was beginning to feel like one step forward, two steps back. Every time I felt closer to him, he pulled back. Being was nestled against Parker’s strong body was wonderful, yet it still wasn’t close enough. Not physically, and certainly not emotionally.
We danced together for two more songs, and when the third one ended, I looked up at Parker’s dark, handsome features, hoping he’d lower his head to mine, but he didn’t.
Instead, he left me alone in the bedroom to get ready while he changed in the tiny bathroom off the living area.
Later, when he knocked on the door, I was already in bed, sitting up with my back against some pillows propped up against the headboard. I had my guidebook in my hand, but I hadn’t been able to take in the words. Instead, I’d been waiting. Waiting for him.
And now he was here.
He was wearing still wearing the white dress shirt he’d worn to dinner, though now it was unbuttoned. And his strong, tan legs were bare except for the gray boxers he wore. “Umm… I don’t actually have any real pajamas. Is it going to bother you if I just wear my boxers?”
“Of course not,” I said, which was a complete and total lie. The sight of him with his shirt open and those flimsy boxers on already had me bothered—hot and bothered, that is.
“Great,” he said, and he slid the dress shirt off his arms.
Good God.
His biceps were every bit as bulging as I imaged. I hadn’t seen him shirtless since he’d taken Claire and me to a pool when he was home on leave once. That must have been when we were in Junior High. He’d filled out considerably since then. His chest, his firm pecs and clearly defined abs made my mouth water. I clasped the guidebook in both hands to make sure I didn’t reach out to touch his chest as he neared.
But when he reached the opposite side of the bed, he paused. “Is that my shirt?”
I looked down at the olive green shirt I was wearing, and instantly flushed. I wasn’t much of a pajama person, either. My favorite thing to sleep in was an oversized tee shirt, and I had quite the collection of them. This one was definitely my favorite, though I hadn’t been consciously thinking about that when I’d put it on tonight.
“Yes, it is.” My voice squeaked, and I took a deep breath to calm myself down. “You left it at home during one of your leaves, and I was visiting Claire, and it was late, so I decided
to spend the night, and she lent it to me. I guess I forgot to give it back.”
He cocked his head to the side. “How long ago was that?”
“Maybe five years ago?”
“And you’ve been wearing it to bed ever since?”
“Yes. Why?”
He had a funny look on his face. Abruptly, he reached over and flipped the overhead light off, plunging the room into darkness. “No reason.”
The covers lifted as he climbed into bed and got settled. And when he stilled, he was at least a foot and a half away. It was too far.
“Parker?”
“Yeah?”
“I had a lovely time tonight.”
“Me too.”
“Do you think—do you think you could…” I lost my courage and trailed off.
He rolled onto his side, facing me even though I couldn’t see him very well. “Could what?”
Gathering all the courage I could muster, I spoke in a rush. “Do you think you could kiss me good-night?”
There was a long moment of silence, and then he sighed. “It’s not a good idea, Lanie. Especially not right now.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just not a good idea.”
His words hit me like a sucker punch, but I was determined not to cry. I was an adult. If he didn’t want me, then he didn’t want me. There was nothing I could do to change that. But still, I couldn’t help the question that rose to my lips. “So… yesterday was just about the acrophobia?”
“What?”
“Your fear of heights.”
There was a touch of exasperation in his voice. “I remember what it means. But I don’t understand what you’re asking.”
Did he really not know? “When I kissed you… and you kissed me back. Did you do that just to distract yourself? Or maybe just because it felt good? Or maybe because… because…”
“Lanie.” His firm voice cut through my quivering one. “Are you asking if I like you?”
“Yes.” My voice was the smallest yet.
“Then, yes.”
But I had to know more than that. “As a friend?”
He sighed. “As more than a friend. But it’s still not a good idea.”
My pulse spiked, but I tamped down the happiness that was bubbling up inside me, because clearly there was something holding him back. “Why not?”
“Because a million reasons. But here’s one… if I kissed you… with you wearing my old army shirt over your creamy white skin… if I touched you, I might not be able to stop.”
“Maybe I don’t want you to.”
“Lanie, you don’t know what you’re asking. I’m not like you. You’re a good person. Beautiful, inside and out. Me? You’ve only seen one side of me. You don’t know what I’m capable of.”
“Not true,” I said, speaking hastily in my eagerness to convince him. “At least not about the one side. I’ve seen the authoritative soldier side of you. The protective big brother side of you. And, when you’ve let me, I’ve seen you as an equal. As a friend. As two adults sharing an amazing experience together. How many more sides are there?”
“A lot. And not all of them are gentlemen.”
“Who says I want them to be?”
He groaned. “You’re killing me, Lanie. I’m trying to do the right thing. You’re making it very hard.” There was a beat of silence while we both thought about what he’d just said. “Fuck. I didn’t mean it like that. Or maybe I did. Would that scare you off enough to back away from this very bad idea, Little Lanie? What if I told you that when you kissed me on that cable car platform, I went from scared as fuck to fully aroused in under thirty seconds? Or that the thought of you wearing my shirt over your bare skin almost caused me to burst tonight?”
His words were forceful and angry, but the underlying message rang true. He did want me. He did like me as more than a friend. Now if only I could convince him that this was truly what I wanted. I thought about it. Thought about what to say to make him understand. Finally, I settled on the issue that seemed to be the most important to him during this trip. “I trust you.”
He was silent for a long moment. “Maybe you shouldn’t.”
“But I do.”
And when I scooted over and placed a tentative hand on his shoulder, he hesitated… and then grabbed me, taking my face in his hands and bringing his lips down on mine. My heart just about beat out of my chest as the pressure from his mouth parted my lips. His tongue dipped into my mouth, tasting and exploring.
I wrapped my arms around his back, and he slid over me, nudging my thighs apart with his knee. I was completely pinned down, his body half on top of me, and it was the most exciting sensation I’d ever felt. He filled all my senses even as he kissed away every rational thought from my mind.
Grasping a handful of his hair, I pressed his mouth more firmly against mine, and he reached up and grabbed my wrists. He pinned them firmly above my head and I writhed underneath him, grinding myself against his knee. I couldn’t help it—I couldn’t ever remember being this turned on before.
Parker groaned against my throat. “You’re killing me, Lanie,” he said, as he’d said earlier. “I knew the battle was lost when I saw you in my shirt.”
In response, I pressed my chest up against him, writhing so that my breasts rubbed against the hard muscles of his chest, only the thin layer of the tee shirt separating us.
He groaned again and shifted to the side. Still pinning my hands down with one arm, he slid his free hand to my waist and then underneath the tee shirt.
I moaned loudly, trying to get my hands free. I wanted to touch him the way he was touching me, but he was in control. And I had a feeling he was about to make me lose control.
And I couldn’t wait.
Lanie
Parker’s strong, warm hand slid up the bare skin of my stomach until it was just under my breasts. Moaning, I twisted under him, trying to get his hand to move higher, but he held it still, his touch teasing.
Soft breath hit my ear and he nibbled on my ear lobe. “Are you sure you want this, Little Lanie?” His voice was nearly as seductive as his touch.
“God, yes,” I said. “Please, Parker…” I’d wanted this for so long. Wanted to be noticed by him. Admired by him. Touched by him. In short, I’d wanted him. For pretty much as long as I’d could remember. Then his hand cupped my breast, and the groan that issued from deep in his throat made the blood pound between my legs.
His thumb grazed my nipple and I arched my back, pushing my breast into his hand. He tugged on first one nipple and then the other as he continued to ravish my throat with his talented mouth.
I moaned as he nuzzled me, my hips bucking. Seeming to take that as a cue, Parker slid his hand down, resting it on my abdomen on top of my thin panties. I froze, every fiber of my being dying to know what he was going to do next.
As the warmth of his large hand seeped into my skin, I couldn’t hold still any longer. Boldly, I lifted my hips up off the bed, pressing myself against his hand.
He chuckled against my ear. “So impatient.”
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.”
His thumb made lazy circles against my electrified skin.
“For you to notice that I’m a woman now,” I elaborated.
He nipped my earlobe with his teeth. “Trust me, I’m well aware of that.”
“Then show me,” I begged.
He released my wrists and plunged his hand into my hair, grabbing a great fistful of it and holding my face still. Looking into my eyes in the dim light, he said, “Are you sure?”
“More than sure.”
“All right.” His voice was low and husky and it got me going as much as his touch did. “Ever since this trip began, I’ve been wanting to taste you. But not just here.” His lips met mine and he kissed me thoroughly and deeply. I grabbed onto his head and held it in place, but then he broke the kiss.
“And not just here.” In one quick movement, he graspe
d the edge of the old army tee shirt and pulled it up over my head. I gasped, feeling the cool air caress my skin, but then his mouth was on my nipple and I moaned in ecstasy.
God, he knew just what to do. He swirled his tongue around, sucking my sensitive tip into his mouth. It felt so good I never wanted it to end. But then he switched to the other side… and then kissed his way down to my stomach.
“I want to taste you everywhere, Lanie. Do you want that, too?”
My breath caught in my throat as he circled my navel with his tongue. He was clearly in a holding pattern, and it wasn’t very hard to figure out where he was heading.
No one had ever done that to me before, and to be honest, whenever I’d thought about it, I hadn’t been sure how much I’d like it.
But now I was sure. Because this was Parker. The man I wanted so badly. He finally wanted me, and I didn’t want to waste a single second of it.
Reaching down, I pushed his head off me, seeing his eyebrows raise as he stared up at me. With both hands, I tugged down the waistline of my panties, lifting my hips.
Parker was more than happy to assist. In a matter of seconds, my panties were off and he was poised between my legs, his hands running up and down my inner thighs, his thumbs rubbing deep into my tender flesh.
But though I moaned in anticipation, he waited. Waited to make sure I needed this. Waited to make sure I wanted this. And I knew I’d been right to trust him. And right to love him.
“Are you ready for me to show you how special you are to me?”
“Oh, yes.”
My voice was barely a whisper, but he heard it. “Just relax and enjoy this, Little Lanie. You deserve it.”
He lowered his head to my core, his strong arms parting me legs, and I trembled under his magical touch.