Please Don't Say Goodbye (Summer Lake Seasons Book 7)

by SJ McCoy

  “No! He’s not mean. He’s awesome. He’s no-nonsense, but he’s fair and he’s … supportive. I just meant the impression he gives before you know him. He’s so big, and he’s not much of a smiler. He just gives off this intimidating vibe—but as soon as you talk to him you can see that he’s a great guy.”

  Elle relaxed. “He is. He’s a good man. He’s good to my mom, and to Skye and me.”

  Donovan chuckled. “And protective, too.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Ah, nothing.”

  She gave him a stern look. “You asked me to be honest with you the other night. I hope you’re going to do the same.”

  He gave her a rueful smile. “Okay. Right from the moment we first met—when I saw you arriving at my place with them … I liked you. And Cal could tell. So, he’s … keeping an eye on me.”

  “He is? Why, what’s he said?”

  Donovan chuckled again. “Not a thing. He doesn’t need to. But he’s still made it perfectly clear that he has an eye on me and I’d better not mess up.”

  Elle couldn’t hide a smile. She loved knowing that Cal was looking out for her in ways she wasn’t aware of as well as all the ways she was. Her smile faded. She didn’t want him to scare Donovan away completely, though.

  Donovan nudged her with his elbow. She liked the way he did that. It made it feel like he was a friend while at the same time feeling flirty but not coming on too strong. “Where did your smile go?”

  She pushed his arm. “I’m not telling.”

  He laughed. “Come on. You looked all happy at first about him keeping an eye on me, but then something changed your mind.”

  She’d have to watch herself. He seemed to pick up on what she was thinking. She looked up into his handsome face. His big brown eyes looked so trustworthy.

  “What were you thinking?”

  She smiled. Right or wrong, she trusted him enough to say it. “That I hope he doesn’t scare you away.”

  His smile grew so wide that a dimple appeared in his cheek. It made her want to touch it, but she resisted.

  “He won’t.”

  Her tummy flipped over as she looked up into his eyes. She believed him.

  It was after twelve-thirty by the time they got back to the parking lot. She needed to get Skye home for her lunch. She’d thought about asking him if he wanted to come with them, but she wasn’t going to. He should get back to work, even though he said he didn’t have to rush.

  They stopped when they got to his truck. Donovan glanced down at Skye, who was sitting in her stroller. She was murmuring to herself as she twirled a buttercup that he’d picked and given to her.

  He jerked his head to the side, inviting Elle to step away. She followed him a few steps with a frown on her face, hoping that he wasn’t about to say something that wouldn’t be appropriate for Skye’s ears.

  He did, but not in the way she’d feared.

  “You never explained the deal with saying goodbye.”

  “Oh!” She was surprised—and grateful—that he remembered. She searched his face, wondering how much she should tell him.

  He frowned. “I’m not trying to pry if you don’t want to tell me. I know not to say it, and that’s all I need to know but …” He let the words trail off, leaving it up to her.

  She blew out a sigh and glanced at her daughter. She was still smiling at her buttercup. “I … her father …”

  Donovan shook his head. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”

  She decided at that moment. She barely knew him, but he’d already shown more concern for Skye than Tristan ever had. “I do.” She glanced at Skye again and lowered her voice. “Things got ugly when we broke up. We lived together, the three of us. When Tristan and I would fight, he’d storm out and disappear for a few days. One time, she went after him, clinging to his leg and begging him not to go.” She stopped and sucked in a deep breath. It wasn’t easy, revisiting those memories. “He pushed her away and said, goodbye, Skye. It broke her little heart. I begged him not to leave her so upset, but he went anyway. She sobbed for hours. And he didn’t come back for days. She was scared she wasn’t ever going to see him again—and I couldn’t tell her when, or even if, he’d be coming back.”

  Donovan’s face was perfectly still, except for a little pulse ticking in his temple. He reminded her of the way Cal had looked when he was mad about her dad but didn’t want to say anything.

  She touched his arm. “It’s okay. You can say it. He’s an asshole and we’re better off without him.”

  He nodded, but his face didn’t relax. “Did he come back?”

  “Yeah. I wish he hadn’t though. After that first time, he used to say goodbye, Skye as his parting shot whenever he stormed out—just because he knew it upset her and would leave me having to deal with her.”

  “Asshole.” He ground the word out.

  “Yeah. And when he finally found someone else who’d put up with his shit, he dumped us for her. He came back and packed all his stuff—with Skye following him around, crying. On his way out the door, she clung to his leg.” She stopped and sniffed and blew out a shaky sigh. “She asked him when she’d see him again and …” She glanced over at her beautiful daughter, her heart breaking all over again for her. “And he said, Never. Goodbye, Skye.”

  She blinked away the tears that threatened to fall and looked up to check his face. “I’m crying for her, for the way he hurt her. Not for me.”

  His expression softened and he stepped toward her. She couldn’t help it. She leaned against him and his arms closed around her. And he felt so good. She rested her head against his chest and breathed him in. He was solid, and reassuring. His hand came up, and he held her head against him. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for her and I’m sorry for you. Neither of you should have ever had to go through that.”

  She sniffed and nodded. “I know. But it’s my own fault.”

  His arms tightened around her. “No way! None of it’s your fault.”

  She tipped her head back so that she could look up into his eyes. “It’s all my fault. I got involved with him. I got pregnant by him. I … You can see why I don’t have much faith in men—especially in the ones that I’m attracted to.”

  He shook his head. “From what you’ve told me, I’d guess that he pretended to be a much better person than he was—at least at first.”

  “Yeah. I thought he was a sweetheart. He said all the right things. Pretended to do all the right things. At least, until I got pregnant.”

  She felt him tense and that made her realize that they still had their arms around each other. She should move away, but she didn’t want to. He made her feel safe.

  “Now I understand why you thought I was just saying the right things to get you into bed.”

  She shrugged. “Not just you. I don’t think you’re a bad person. I just don’t trust—can’t afford to trust that …” She stopped and shrugged again. “You seem like a nice guy, you really do. But in the beginning I thought Tristan was—so how can I trust my own judgment?”

  He looked down into her eyes for a long moment. She could feel his heart hammering in his chest—it matched her own. She didn’t know what they were doing here, but it felt good to be honest.

  “You don’t have to trust your judgment.”

  She didn’t understand.

  “You know I like you, Elle. You know I’d love for us to start seeing each other. But I get it. You need to take it slowly. And I need to prove who I am—every step of the way. You don’t have to trust a damned thing. I’ll show you.”

  She liked the way that sounded, but she had no idea what it would look like.

  He smiled. “So, going back to what I suggested earlier. Do you want me to hang out with both of you or do you want me to take you out?”

  “Want to go home now, Mommy! I’m hungry.”

  Donovan let go of her and they both hurried back to Skye. “Sorry, sweetie. We’re going now.”

  Skye smil
ed. “Can Dondervan come?”

  Elle looked at him. She almost invited him, but he shook his head, and gave her a sad smile.

  “Maybe next time, Skye.” He touched Elle’s arm. “You should get her home. Call me later?”

  She nodded; she’d be happy to.

  “Bye bye, Dondervan.”

  He glanced at Elle before squatting down next to the stroller and landing a kiss on top of Skye’s head. “I’ll see you soon, Skye.”

  Elle had to swallow back the tears. He straightened up and touched her arm again before stepping away. “Just as soon as you like.”

  Chapter Six

  Donovan sat staring out the window at the mountains. He loved the view from his office window—and he’d spent a lot of time staring at it this week. Anger still swept over him when he thought about what Elle had told him on Monday. What kind of guy did that? He exhaled sharply. An asshole. That was the only kind. He didn’t understand how anyone, even an asshole, could deliberately hurt a little kid—any little kid, let alone his own daughter.

  He understood a little more about how guys mistreated girls—he’d seen that often enough. One of his sisters had been married briefly to a guy who cheated on her. Some of his friends back in San Francisco liked to play the field—they didn’t see anything wrong with it. They went out looking to get laid and—like Elle had said—they told girls whatever they wanted to hear in order to get them into bed.

  He didn’t get it, he never had. Sure, he liked sex as much as the next guy—or maybe he didn’t. He didn’t like it enough to lie his way into a girl’s panties. He had too much self-respect for that—and too much respect for women. Maybe it was having been raised by his sisters—or maybe it was just basic human decency, and he was inclined to believe the latter.

  One of his buddies at the firm in San Francisco had joked with him that he just didn’t understand what regular guys had to do to get laid. Women seemed to find him attractive, and he’d never had to resort to underhand tactics. He shrugged and checked his watch. He wanted to text Elle and see how she was doing, but he should wait until he got home. It’d be too easy while he was still on this side of the lake to suggest that he could stop in and see her on his way by.

  “Want to come for a beer when we get finished?”

  He turned to see Brayden leaning in the doorway. “Nah. I’m going to head home.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t mean with everyone. I thought the two of us could hang out. You’ve been quiet this week.”

  “I’ve been busy.” As soon as he said it, he wondered why. He’d been nowhere near as busy this week. He and Leanne were caught up. They had their systems set up and ready. They’d laid all the groundwork to be able to operate legally. And they’d even completed most of the IP registrations—which had been a long and laborious process considering the amount of intellectual property Dan had managed to create.

  Brayden came inside and pulled up a seat. “What’s up?”

  “Nothing. Why?”

  “I don’t know. I feel like there’s something wrong.” Brayden shrugged. “I’m …” His cheeks turned pink. “Don’t give me any shit, but I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to about anything.”

  Donovan grasped his shoulder and smiled. “Why would I give you shit for being a good friend?”

  Brayden looked relieved. “I dunno. I just … Most guys don’t do well with admitting when they have stuff going on. And we’re sure as hell not supposed to talk about it when we do. I mean—it’s just not cool, is it? But I’m more interested in helping than in looking cool. So …” He shrugged. “That’s all.”

  Donovan gave his shoulder a shake. “The world would be a better place if there were more men like you in it, Brayden.”

  “There’s no need to—”

  “I’m not!” Donovan held his hand up, realizing that had probably come off as him being sarcastic. “I mean it. You’re right; it’s not supposed to be cool for guys to admit that they need help, to admit any kind of weakness at all. And most of us have had it drummed into us that talking is for pussies. Shut up, suck it up, and get on with it, right?”

  Brayden nodded.

  “But how is that cool? I think it’s much cooler to be open and honest—and to be there for your friends. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. Though I’m still not sure if I just embarrassed us both. Even if I did. The offer still stands. If there’s anything you want to talk about, I’m here. Apparently—according to Ally—I’m a good listener, too.”

  Donovan smiled. “I’m sure you are. But …” He didn’t want to tell Brayden too much, but he didn’t want to brush him off either. “I guess I’m not ready to talk yet. You’ll be the one I come to when I am, though.”

  “Okay. And you’re talking about Elle, right?”

  “Yeah. How’d you know?”

  Brayden smiled. “Ally asked me if there was something going on between the two of you. She saw you guys leaving the park on Monday—all wrapped around each other.”

  Donovan frowned. “We weren’t wrapped around each other—not in the way that sounds anyway.”

  Brayden held his palms up. “I say good luck to you.”

  Donovan let out a short laugh. “I’m going to need it. But that wasn’t what it must have looked like. I was comforting her.”

  Brayden laughed. “Is that what we’re calling it these days? Comforting?”

  Donovan chuckled. “No! Listen to me. I’m serious. She was upset about …” No. He wasn’t going to say it. It wasn’t his to share. “About something to do with Skye. It’s hard for her, you know. Being on her own with a little one.”

  Brayden looked more serious now. “Yeah. I guess it must be. I hadn’t thought about that. I wouldn’t want to be left alone with a little kid for ten minutes. I can’t imagine being responsible for one twenty-four seven, with no back up.”

  “Yeah.” It sounded as though Elle’s life had been like that in LA. Now that she was back here at the lake, she at least had her mom. Although, from what she’d told him this week—and they’d texted every night—it seemed that her mom was around less and less as she spent more time with Cal. It was funny that hearing Elle call him Cal had finally made it sink into Donovan’s brain. He was no longer Callahan.

  “So, anyway, are you coming for a drink or are you going to see her?”

  “Who said I was going to see her?”

  Brayden smirked. “No one. But you got this look on your face when you talked about her. You’d rather go see her than come have a beer with me, right?”

  He laughed. “Of course, I would. But she’s still at work anyway.”

  “Hm. At the salon?”

  “Yeah.”

  Brayden grinned. “I’ve been meaning to stop in there to get myself an appointment. Want to come with?”

  Donovan smiled back at him. Why had it never occurred to him that he, too, could make an appointment for a haircut if he wanted to see her? “Sure. Why not.” He could piggy-back on Brayden’s visit this afternoon and save his own appointment-making for another time.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Where’s your mom this afternoon?” Abbie asked as Elle led her to her chair. Abbie was her last customer of the day and she was looking forward to catching up with her and to being able to collect Skye earlier than usual.

  “She finished up early. She’s been busy decorating at Cal’s new place—and I think she’s been pushing a lot of her appointments onto me. She hasn’t said as much, but she’s trying to build up my clientele to make sure I’ll stay.”

  Abbie turned to look up at her just as she was fastening the cape around her shoulders. “You’re not thinking of leaving?”

  Elle laughed. “Watch yourself! I’ll take your eye out if you turn like that when I have scissors in my hand.”

  Abbie made a face. “I’m shocked. Not stupid. Tell me that you’re not even thinking about leaving?”

  Elle shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet.”

  “Wha
t’s to decide? You have to stay. Skye’s doing great here. Your mom loves having you back, and seriously, how would you cope without her?”

  Elle blew out a sigh and started combing through Abbie’s long dark hair. “I feel like a failure for landing back here. You know? I mean, look at me. I’m thirty years old, and I’m a single mom who lives with her own mom.”

  Abbie made a face. “Don’t. You’re an amazing mom and an amazing stylist, who managed to escape an asshole boyfriend and come home to a place where she can make a great life for herself and her daughter.”

  “You make it sound good.”

  “It is—if you choose to look at it that way. And life back here can be so very good.” Abbie smiled at her in the mirror.

  But Elle shook her head. “I can see that it’s been great to you. Ivan’s awesome. But …”

  “But what? Don’t tell me that there aren’t any hot single guys left here and that you couldn’t snag yourself any one of them you wanted—because we both know that’s not true.”

  Elle shrugged. “There are some hot single guys.”

  Abbie turned to look up at her again, but Elle slapped her shoulder. “Would you quit that?”

  Abbie laughed, and Elle had to join in. Abbie had been her best friend all the way through school from kindergarten until the day after graduation when Abbie had taken off for the city with—Elle couldn’t even remember her boyfriend’s name, but then she doubted Abbie would by now either.

  “Stop bossing me around. I’m trying to interrogate you here. You just said that there are some hot guys—so I need to know who you think is hot.”

  Elle rolled her eyes. “Lots of them.”

  “Bullshit!”

  Elle laughed. “Do you want a drink? I’m going to make myself a decaf while I mix your color.”

  “Yeah. I’ll take one, thanks. But don’t think you’re escaping me that easily. As soon as you come back out, you’re going to tell me which of the guys you like.”