For Keeps

by Jeannette Winters

  I just hope it’s for the best.

  Chapter Nine

  Phoebe refused to dwell on the past any longer. It was crushing her from within. Jett had given her the space she needed to gain composure yesterday, but what he didn’t understand was, she really didn’t want to be alone. I want to be with him. Last night, the bedroom had felt like a cage, one she had put herself in. If he insisted on sleeping on deck again today, then she was going to be joining him.

  When she was with Jett, things seemed tolerable. That probably wasn’t a flattering way to describe it, but compared to how she felt when he wasn’t with her, it was accurate. No one in their right mind would feel happy right now, not after everything she’d recalled. But there was nothing more either of them could do. Things were taking a course that she had no control over.

  While she had rested last night, a bit more had come back to her, some bad, but mostly good. They were thoughts of her childhood and her teen years. Phoebe realized that she had been a stubborn young lady, refusing to do things any way other than hers. Although she wasn’t a troubled teen, she definitely tested the limits with her siblings. It was tough growing up as the baby of the family, but she never let it stand in the way of anything she wanted. That hadn’t been easy, with five older brothers. It was no surprise, given how overprotective they were, that she’d never married, or seemed to have a long-lasting, serious relationship. They probably scared them all shitless. I have a feeling Jett wouldn’t have backed down so easily.

  She was tired of sitting there thinking of Jett. It was time for her to go find him. When she made it topside, she found Jett on his cell phone, not the one he used when speaking with Roman, but the one he used to use on the island.

  “Uncle Phil, I’m telling you, she is fine. You have nothing to worry about.”

  It felt good to know Phil was still watching out for her, even though there wasn’t a need. Phoebe walked over and sat beside Jett. In a soft voice, she asked, “Can I tell him hello?”

  He looked at her as though it wasn’t a good idea, but she held out her hand and Jett gave in. In a whisper, he said, “He knows nothing.”

  She’d almost forgotten that Phil thought they were still on the island. Now she wasn’t so sure she wanted to talk to Phil any longer. Yet she wasn’t going to back down now. With a nod, she took the phone and asked, “Hi, how is your knee?”

  “Hello Lisa. My knee is much better. I hope you’re getting along fine with my nephew.”

  “Funny, you asked me that same question last time. Is there something about him you’re not telling me?” She gave Jett a playful wink.

  “Oh there is so much I could tell you, but he might not forgive me.”

  Phoebe laughed. “How about just one?”

  “How about none,” Jett said as he took the phone from her. “Uncle Phil, did you call just to cause trouble?”

  Since it was on speaker, she could hear his reply. “No, but it’s a bonus. Since you two both seem fine, I’m going back to my work.”

  “I thought you were still healing?” Phoebe asked.

  “Oh yes, I am. I’m working on a book.”

  “A book?” Jett said.

  “Yes. Since the university doesn’t appreciate my research, I’m going to compile it and publish my findings myself.”

  Phoebe and Jett shrugged. “I thought you said you were going to retire. I even told my father you’d go fishing with him.”

  Phil laughed. “I’m sure he didn’t believe it. He knows me too well.”

  “We all do,” Jett said, before ending the call.

  Phoebe wrinkled her nose. “A book? Really?”

  “That’s going to change after a few days. He’s never been one to sit still too long. I can’t believe he’d been on that damn island for four years.”

  “Or that I was there with him?” Phoebe asked.

  “Okay, you win. That is just mind blowing, how someone like you could stand it.”

  She knew Jett didn’t mean any harm with his words, but she didn’t have a choice. She was there because she had no way to leave. If I did, would I have gone? She’d like to think so, but now she wasn’t so sure. Living life as Lisa had been simple. Each day she knew exactly what to expect. All that changed were the insects Phil returned with. That’s probably why her memories weren’t triggered. There wasn’t anything there to spark them. Not till Jett arrived.

  “It wasn’t all bad. I had plenty of time to heal from my wounds.”

  “That’s about it. I can’t picture you following Uncle Phil around the island hunting for some bug.”

  Phoebe laughed. “Not even if he was paying me. I’m not a fan of them. Which made it really interesting. When he returned at the end of the day, he wanted to talk about his findings. After a while, I’d be in my room pretending to be asleep, just so I didn’t have to see any more of them. I felt badly, because he had been so kind to me, but I just couldn’t do it.”

  Jett chuckled. “Knowing my uncle, he knew you weren’t sleeping.”

  “What makes you think that?”

  “Because I used to pull the same shit on him, and my father told me he and Uncle Phil used to laugh about it.”

  Phoebe wondered who Phil talked to. Was it Jett’s father? Or had he really kept her secret all these years? “Jett, I need to ask you something, and I hope you’ll be honest with me.”

  “Sounds serious.”

  “Not really. But I need to know if Phil told you about me before you came to the island.”

  “No. He didn’t. Why?”

  “Then why did you come?” Phoebe was trying to figure out what Jett’s agenda was for being there. He obviously didn’t need money. He could’ve easily hired someone to go in his place.

  “Because I owe my uncle, and I’m repaying a debt.”

  “I have a feeling you have enough money to buy the entire island. How much more could you owe him?” It was none of her business, but she was trying to understand why Jett was really there. It was her way of determining what motivated him.

  “You’re right. I have money. But that’s not how I grew up. My parents both worked and did the best they could. But if it wasn’t for Uncle Phil, we would’ve ended up homeless. There wasn’t a birthday that went by that he didn’t either pick me up and take me shopping, or have a new wardrobe delivered to me. And when I wanted to go to college, he was the one who helped me get in.”

  She never would’ve guessed that. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to pry. I only wanted to know why you would do this for him.”

  “I thought that, after learning you have a family yourself, you might understand.”

  “What do you mean, understand?”

  Jett reached out and stroked her left arm with his fingers. “That when it comes to family and people you care about, you’d do anything for them.”

  She knew they weren’t talking about Phil any longer. But what was he willing to do for her? He’d helped her remember her name, and now was bringing her back to the States. From the sounds of it, she was the one now indebted. How am I ever going to repay it?

  “Jett, you’ve done so much for me, even though I’m not family.”

  He continued to stroke her arm. Even the smallest touch sent a ripple effect through her. She yearned for more. Was it wrong? She didn’t know, and really, she didn’t care.

  “No, you’re definitely not family. If you were, then this would be beyond awkward.” Jett stepped closer. “I stayed on the island because I cared about you. And when I learned you were in trouble, no one was going to be able to drag me away.”

  That’s what she needed to know. She didn’t want his pity, and if he considered her his job, she also needed to know before moving forward. Today she didn’t want to talk about her past or think about the future. For one day, she wanted to live in the present.

  She stepped so close that she could feel the warmth of his body radiate into hers. Phoebe wanted to reach out and touch him. She wanted to be held and touched. Her life
was going to change once again when they arrived in Boston. She knew Jett was working diligently to find her family, but being with him was the part she didn’t want to let go of. The part I don’t want to forget. He admitted caring for her. Her feelings, although not clear, were strong. She realized that when she’d leapt into the freezing ocean. Phoebe was about to take another leap, one even scarier.

  “Jett, I…” She had a hard time looking him in the eyes and saying it. “I care about you too. In this entire mess, you’re the one constant thing that I know I can count on.”

  “You can, Phoebe. I’m here for you.”

  Phoebe. It sounded so good hearing him call her by her real name. It meant he was seeing her, not just the shell of who she was. The words wouldn’t come, but she wanted to show him. Closing her eyes, she reached out and let her hands run up his arms, finally clasping behind his neck. Rising onto tippy toes, she brought her lips to his. She barely considered it a kiss at all, but she couldn’t bring herself to break the connection.

  She expected he would pull way and put a stop to this. Instead, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. His lips were a light caress, soft like the first one he’d given her. That one had ended too quickly. Would this one as well?

  Instead his kiss deepened, his tongue traced her lips tenderly, prodding her to open to him. A moan escaped as she willingly parted her lips, giving in to her own desire. She wasn’t holding back either. Giving in to her own need to taste him, she entwined her tongue with his, exploring him as eagerly as he did her.

  Jett’s hand came up and touched her cheek, then moved down to the pulse beating rapidly on her neck before he traced his fingers lower, until his thumb brushed her cleavage. Instantly her body tensed, knowing his fingers were nearing the first set of scars. She knew he’d seen them yesterday, but this was different, he was about to touch them.

  She was battling fear and excitement. Phoebe wanted to pull away and run back to the room and hide, yet there was another part of her that was tired of hiding. She’d shared with him all the ugliness of what had happened, this was just the next phase. But could she let him touch them? Would he be grossed out? Her flesh wasn’t silky smooth. It was rough and rippled as a constant reminder.

  She couldn’t do it. Slowly she began to pull away. Trying to catch her breath, she stayed in his arms, but now standing so close they were almost touching. Jett didn’t further his exploration, yet he also didn’t remove his hand. His thumb continued to trace the peak of one breast, then the other. She could feel her nipples harden and heat flood between her legs. She wanted him, but was so afraid. If she couldn’t look at herself in the mirror, how could she allow him to look at her?

  As she stepped back again slightly, Jett let his hand drop from her. “Did I hurt you?” His eyes were filled with concern.

  She shook her head. Phoebe didn’t want him thinking he’d done something wrong. “It’s…I want this but…”

  “You’re not ready. I get it.”

  “No. I’m ready, but I just don’t think I can.”

  Jett pulled her into his arms and held her gently. “And you don’t have to.”

  She could feel the hard bulge in his swim trunks. She wasn’t the only one who felt the heat between them. He was being kind by pushing aside his own wants and thinking only of her feelings. Another reason why I like you. He seemed to always think of her first. She knew he’d let it end right there, but that’s not exactly what she wanted. Nor what she needed.

  “Jett, I’m not sure I can do this, but I also don’t want to stop.”

  He tipped her chin to look up at him. “Phoebe, what are you trying to say?”

  “That I want you, I want this.” She reached up, touched his cheek, and once again placed her lips on his. I need you to show me it’ll be okay.

  Jett continued kissing her lightly. “Is that better?” he asked, only inches from her mouth.

  “Much,” she said as she claimed his lips yet again.

  * * *

  Jett never expected her to come up this morning and kiss him like that. Not that he hadn’t dreamt of holding her, tasting her sweet lips, but it was something he’d forbade himself to act upon.

  Was he wrong for doing so now? Was he fucking with her head even more? Jett didn’t believe so. He’d let her make the move, he gave her the space needed to back away. Even now, with his cock throbbing, he’d release her if she wanted.

  But instead she was exploring his mouth with her tongue hungrily. He could feel the passion within her waiting to erupt.

  In one swift move, he pulled her against him, devouring her lips with a hard, feverish kiss. He tried to loosen his hold, but she held him to her, parting her lips again to let him inside. He inhaled her sweetness as his tongue explored all she had to offer. But his body was aching for more, and he kissed down her jaw to the nape of her neck, and back to her lips. He almost regained control but was totally lost when moans of pleasure escaped her.

  Fuck. Holding back was becoming more difficult, and her hands running over his shoulders and down his chest wasn’t making it any easier. It’d be so easy to sweep her into his arms, carry her to the bedroom, and plunge himself deep within her. His cock ached to feel her wrapped around him. But there was a problem: he had no condoms on the boat. She was the first and only woman he’d brought here.

  But this wasn’t about him. He knew she wanted him, wanted to feel intimate human touch. He’d give it to her, but his own pleasure was going to need to wait. Jett’s hands ran freely down her back until he caught hold of the bottom of her T-shirt. He pulled it up and over her head and tossed it to one side. Then his hands roamed over her again, this time catching hold of her shorts and slipping them down over her hips.

  Their lips breaking contact only briefly, he continued to undress her. Fighting back his own need, his insides trembled as his hands ran up the back of her legs, over her slender hips, and up her back. His fingertips felt each raised scar that she had tried like hell to keep hidden from him. His heart ached to the core for what she’d been through. Never before had he even come close to crying. But here, now, touching her so intimately, it almost brought him to his knees. He was humbled by her strength, her perseverance. But neither overshadowed her beauty.

  He wanted to tell her what he saw when he looked at her, but she wouldn’t believe him. So, he needed to hold his thoughts, his tongue, and show her in other ways.

  Letting his hands come around to cup her heaving breasts, he broke their kiss briefly and whispered, “I’ll stop any time you want me to.” But I hope you don’t want me to.

  “Please don’t stop,” Phoebe said, panting against him.

  Jett bent and swept her up into his arms, carried her below deck, kicked open the bedroom door, and laid her down. He knew she was naked and feeling vulnerable, so he stripped off his swim trunks. His cock was hard and ready, but he wasn’t going to do anything except for heighten her pleasure with it.

  Lying down beside her, Jett nibbled and kissed her jaw to her neck, but didn’t stop there. His hand cupped her breast; her moans grew deeper. Plucking at one nipple, he sucked the other, teasingly flicking it with his tongue. He needed to taste more of her. Now. As he licked and nipped his way across her stomach, her hands tried to block his path.

  “What’s the matter, honey? Did you want me to stop?”

  She sighed. “Jett, my…scars.”

  He rested on one elbow and met her gaze. “Do they hurt when I touch them?” Pain wasn’t something he wanted to bring her, not physical or emotional. She shook her head. “Then what’s wrong?”

  “They’re…so…ugly.”

  Lying to her and saying they were as beautiful as her dark eyes would trivialize what had happened to her. He’d promised to always be honest, and that included now. Taking one hand, he slowly traced over each one of them that he could see. He knew there were many on her backside which he couldn’t. “Phoebe, they are part of you.”

  “Not a pretty pa
rt,” she said somberly.

  “No, and yet, yes. These have made you the woman you are today. A—”

  “Broken woman?”

  “No. A strong, courageous survivor. The only ones who should turn away in shame are the ones who inflicted these on you.”

  “You’re not…disgusted by them?” Phoebe asked.

  Leaning over, he kissed one of the scars, letting his tongue trace it before lifting his head. “I find everything about you…” he kissed her again, “enticing.” He was very careful on choice of words. The curl of her lip said he’d chosen well.

  Her body trembled as he spread her legs with his foot. And as his tongue circled her belly button and traced lower, he felt her shiver. He nestled his head on her abdomen and her fingers tangled in his hair. Kissing her stomach again, he continued inching his way lower, stopping only to nip softly on her inner thigh.

  Breathlessly, she begged, “Jett, I can’t.”

  “You can,” he said as his tongue licked and nipped her again. Slipping a hand between them, he opened her delicate folds. Bringing his mouth to her, he circled her clit then sucked on it.

  Phoebe cried out in pleasure, arching her hips off the bed, her moans only encouraging him. “Jett. I…you…oh Jett!”

  He couldn’t get enough of her, devouring her feverishly, licking and sucking her, his tongue darting inside her and then back to her clit. He growled, “You taste so sweet.”

  “Jett. Jett. Please…I—”

  He slipped a finger deep inside her core. She was hot and wet and damn, his cock begged to bury himself inside. She was tight, and he knew it’d feel so fucking good to have her wrapped around him. But he couldn’t. The risk was too great. Instead, he fucked her with his fingers as his mouth continued to suck her clit.

  Fast and faster, her breaths became short and her moans grew louder. Finally, he felt her body jerk violently as she lost herself in a powerful release. He felt her core tighten around his finger and he continued to suck until her body began to settle.