War of Hearts

by Nina Levine

  Unable to stop myself, I slide along the couch to her. I don’t put my hands on her, but fuck I want to. “You are so far from damaged goods, you have no idea. As for me finding someone else, I don’t even notice other women anymore, Zara. The only woman I see is you, and I will wait for however long it takes for you to be okay with me touching you. You’ve made me want something I never thought I would. You’re beautiful and kind and caring, and I’m not walking away just because you need some time to work through what happened to you.”

  There’s no going back from this now.

  Zara has stolen my determination to honour my promise to King.

  I don’t know what the future holds, but I need her to know I want mine to hold her.

  Her eyes fill with tears, but they don’t fall. It’s like she’s trying to keep them in. Like she’s trying desperately to hold herself together. “I don’t want you to do that for me. It’s not fair to you,” she whispers, her voice twisted up with heartbreak.

  “I’m not doing it for you,” I say, feeling every ounce of the intense need to make her understand that comes through in my voice. “I’m doing this for me.”

  I’ve tried really fucking hard not to intrude on her personal space, to keep my hands off her, but when her tears fall, I can’t do it a second longer. I reach for her, placing my hand to the back of her head and pulling her to me.

  Her arms go around me without hesitation and she doesn’t let go for a long few minutes. When she does, she says, “God, this is a mess. I don’t know how we’ll make this work. Everything feels different to me now.”

  I cup her face. “Do you feel safe with me?” I’m hoping the fact she hasn’t flinched at either of my touches so far means she does.

  She nods, again without hesitation. “Yes.”

  “Well that’s a good starting place, and all we can do is go from here and take things slowly while you work with your psychologist.” King, on the other hand, is going to be a whole other story, but I don’t mention that to her yet.

  Looking at me like she’s placing all her trust in the world with me, she says softly, “Okay.”

  I want her. So fucking much the reality slams into me that if no had fallen from her lips, it would have ripped me apart.

  Wanting desperately to kiss her and touch her in ways she can’t yet cope with, I move off the couch. I’m determined to give her whatever she needs while she’s on this journey, but fuck, it’s going to take every bit of restraint I have.

  Frowning, she stands. “What just happened?”

  “You just happened.” When her frown deepens, I elaborate. “I don’t think you’re aware of just how much I want you. That”—I point at the couch—“was me putting some space between us so I don’t do something that might trigger you.”

  Her frown morphs into a small smile that tugs at my heart. “Thank you.” She then draws on her sassy side when her smile turns into a full-on grin. “And here I was thinking you struggled with the idea of being my friend when it turns out you actually wanna do things friends don’t do.”

  I chuckle with a shake of my head. “The shit you come out with.”

  “So,” she says slowly, like she’s planning on asking me something difficult, “Holly’s out, and I’m not sure what time she’ll be home. You wanna watch TV with me? Maybe sleep over?”

  She has no idea how much I want that. “Yeah, but I’m not sitting through Friends again. If we’re gonna be together, you’re gonna have to find a new show. Or better still, you’re gonna give me the remote so I can choose the shit we watch.”

  “Ah no, that’s not how I see this going.”

  I arch a brow and cross my arms over my chest. “How do you see this going?”

  “We can find a new show together, but if my man wants the remote, he’s gonna have to work for it.”

  Her man.

  Fuck that sounds good.

  I jerk my chin at the kitchen. “You want me to work for it, I’m gonna need some cake.”

  “And what if I don’t have any?”

  “I’m not opposed to sitting my ass on a stool and watching yours while you make me one.”

  Heat flares in her eyes. “All this time while I thought we were just friends, you’ve been checking my ass out, haven’t you?”

  “I’m a man. It’s a ten. Where the fuck else was I gonna look?”

  “Shit,” she mutters. “This is going to be hard, isn’t it?”

  I nod, eyes glued to hers. “Yeah.” But so fucking worth it.

  She comes to me and takes my hand, the electricity between us blazing hot. Leading me into the kitchen, she says, “I’m gonna cut you some cake. If you feel the need to get your fill of my ass, go for it. After that, we’re gonna find a new show to watch. And then I’m gonna fall asleep on you.”

  I’ve avoided relationships my entire life, but this right here, this feels exactly where I’m meant to be. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing than spending time with her.

  25

  Zara

  * * *

  When I wake up with Fury on Sunday morning, he’s wrapped around me again, like the last time he slept over. Again, I feel safe with him. Even with his erection pressing against me, I know I’m safe.

  It’s frustrating that I freaked out when he kissed me. I’m looking forward to discussing this with my psychologist on Tuesday because I want nothing more than for Fury to be able to kiss and touch me. I want nothing more than to be normal again.

  As I move, his arms clamp down, holding me in place, and he growls, “Don’t wiggle that ass, princess. I’m only just holding myself back.”

  I smile to myself. How was I so lucky to find a good man like him? “I want to roll over so I can look at you.”

  He removes his arms and lets me roll over.

  He shifts onto his back and as I snuggle up to him, his arm comes around me to hold me close.

  I meet his gaze. “Did you sleep okay?”

  “Yeah, I got a few hours.”

  “Is my bed uncomfortable for you?” A few hours aren’t much.

  His arm squeezes me and he shakes his head. “No. I don’t ever sleep well. I seem to get more sleep when I’m with you than when I’m not.”

  It sucks that he doesn’t sleep well, but I love that he sleeps better when he’s with me. As I wonder why he doesn’t sleep well, my thoughts turn to what I know of him. He told me he wasn’t close to either of his parents. He also told me how violent his father was, that his brother is a piece of shit, and that he’s never lived with a woman. I’m intrigued as to how he became so aware of how to care for someone, because it doesn’t sound like his family showed him what love really is.

  “How did you get so good at this?” I ask.

  His brows furrow. “At what?”

  I slide my arm out across his chest. “At caring for someone like you have me. And like you have for your niece.”

  “I’m not good at it, Zara. You need to know this going in; I’ve only ever cared about myself and about making it through each day. Getting into a relationship like this is the last thing I ever planned on.”

  I smile at him. “Well if this is you not being good at it,” I tease, “I can’t wait to see what you’re like when you pick up some skills.” When it’s clear he still doesn’t believe me, I say, “Seriously, somewhere along the way, you’ve figured out how to look out for people. Someone must have shown you how.”

  “The only person who gave a damn about me was King. And Violet’s mother. And then my brothers.”

  “When did you join Storm?”

  “When I was nineteen.” He only gives me a quick answer until he realises I’m waiting for more. He should know by now that I’ve got all the questions for him. “I used to fight to pay the bills, and King turned up every now and then to watch. One night, he pulled me aside and offered me a job that paid well. We went from there.”

  I trail my fingers over his chest, not wanting to think about King and the fact he doesn’
t want me dating any of his guys. I’ve been trying to push the thought away since Fury showed up last night, but it’s something we’re going to have to face. “What are we going to do about King?”

  “He’s already on the warpath over us,” he says, surprising me.

  “Why? We haven’t done anything.”

  “He saw us coming out of that hallway yesterday and put it together.”

  “Shit.”

  He runs his hand over my hair. “This isn’t going to go down well. He’s never come at me like he did yesterday.”

  “I’ll talk to him and make him understand.”

  “Fuck no. This has to come from me.”

  I roll onto my stomach and look up at him. “We should do it together.”

  “Princess, when this shit goes down, it’s not gonna be pretty. I want you as far from it as possible.”

  Dread snakes through me at what he says. He’s absolutely right; King won’t take this well. “Don’t tell him yet,” I say, wanting to delay the repercussions.

  “We can’t put it off forever, Zara. And shit will go down a lot fucking worse if he hears about this from someone else or figures out it’s gone further.”

  “I know, but I just want some time with you before it all goes to shit,” I say softly.

  “Fuck, you’ll be the end of me,” he rumbles, pulling me back to snuggle against him.

  We turn silent for a little while until I say, “What are your plans for today?”

  “I don’t have any.”

  I move into a kneeling position, excited. “You should take me for a ride.”

  It’s not often Fury smiles, but he does at this suggestion. “Where?”

  “Anywhere. I just want to be with you today. On the back of your bike.”

  He jerks his chin towards the door. “Get your ass up and showered. I’ll make you some tea and eggs while you’re in there.”

  “Your contempt for my preferred breakfast is duly noted.”

  “We’ve got a lot of shit to work through,” he says dryly, “and I’m adding the insanity you’re experiencing over meat and coffee to the list.”

  It hits me out of the blue.

  I’m falling in love with this man.

  And then it hits me that I’ve smashed one of my greatest fears completely apart: my fear that I was made for guys like Tommy. I’m not made for guys like him. I’m made for a man like the one right in front of me.

  I put my fingers to my mouth and press a kiss to them that I then press to his lips. “Thank you.” It’s two little words, said soft as fuck, but I’m feeling them loudly, and I’m feeling them as if they’re a whole novel of love and gratitude and joy. My heart is bursting, and while I’m messed up over a lot of things, I’m not messed up over Fury. I want him in my life, in all his bossy, protective, caring, and assholey ways.

  He feels it too, and before my brain can process what he’s doing, he sits and pulls me onto his lap so I’m straddling him. His hands come to my face and he cups my cheeks in the most gentle, tender way. “I wasn’t looking for you, Zara, but I’ve sure as fuck found you. And I’m not letting you go.”

  I wrap my arms around him, my lips brushing his cheek as I bring my mouth to his ear. “I really want to kiss you right now, but I don’t want to do anything that might ruin this moment. Just know that on the inside, my lips are on yours.”

  “Fuck,” he groans, hands going to my waist so he can lift me off him. “I’m taking the shower first.”

  My laughter follows him as he stalks out of my bedroom.

  I’m made for a good man.

  I’m made for Fury.

  26

  Fury

  * * *

  “Where the fuck is your head today, brother?” King asks, a week after I made Zara mine. We’re about to confront Hagarty, and King’s right: my head is not in the game. It’s with Zara. Fuck, it’s always with her. It’s also focussed on the fact I’m still to tell King about us. I promised Zara two weeks. Once those weeks are up, I’ll tell him. And hopefully survive the conversation. Not that I foresee much of a conversation. King won’t bother with words to get his point across.

  “It’s here,” I reassure him as we walk from our bikes to Hagarty’s front door.

  “It fucking better be. I don’t need this shit fucked up.” He’s still filthy after confronting me over Zara.

  We reach the front door of Hagarty’s riverside mansion and King bashes on it. Fancy cars line the street because Hagarty is celebrating his wife’s birthday today with a party that he’s invited all his rich, powerful friends to. If the politicians and businessmen he’s tied up with knew the dirty shit he gets up to in his spare time, not one of those cars would be here today.

  King continues bashing on the door until it’s flung open by a woman who’s overdressed and overdone. What the fuck possesses women to hide themselves under all that shit, I’ll never know, but with this one, I’m betting she’s hiding from her husband’s flaws.

  Looking us up and down with disdain, she says, “Who are you?”

  King places one boot inside, against the door, preventing it from being closed. “We’re friends of your husband, Natalie. We just need a quick conversation with him.”

  She eyes his boot before crossing her arms. “That’s not possible today. We have friends over; he’s busy. Perhaps you could schedule—”

  “No,” King says darkly. “You’ll get him for us now.”

  Her eyes snap wide as her face tightens. “I will not.”

  King takes another step into the house, crowding her and forcing her to walk backwards, allowing him to fully enter her home. Jabbing his finger towards the back of the house, he growls, “Unless you want your husband’s dirty fucking laundry aired to all your friends, you’ll go and fucking get him for us.”

  The alarm flashing in her eyes tells me she knows her husband is a piece of shit. Nodding furiously, she stutters, “Okay…. W-wait here.”

  She hurries in the direction of the noise from the party, and a couple of minutes later, Hagarty stalks into the room, his eyes black with rage. “What the fuck are you doing, King?”

  King moves in close to him, standing a good few inches taller, and a whole lot broader than him. He’s a threatening presence any way you cut it, but Hagarty has an inflated ego and sense of invincibility, which causes him to push his shoulders back and challenge King.

  “I’m keeping Sydney in fucking line is what I’m doing. And you need to play your part in that.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I’m talking about the fact you’re looking at life in prison, and we all know the streets will go to shit if you’re in there. I mightn’t like you, but you’re part of the fucking ecosystem. A part that helps control the rest of the motherfuckers around here.”

  “Jesus, the way your brain works leaves a lot to be desired. What the fuck do you mean?”

  King’s nostrils flare. “I mean, pull your fucking head in and stop being such a greedy cunt. The cops are looking at you. Don’t fucking give them anything they can drag you in for. And that starts with the boys and the porn. You need to get those kids out of Sydney, shut your filthy operation down, and never touch another boy again. Am I fucking understood?”

  Hagarty’s lips pull into a flat, angry line, and his eyes shoot daggers at King. “You don’t come here and threaten me, King. That’s not how this works. I’m the one with a network of powerful men who’ll take my back at the drop of a hat. I’m the one with more money than I know what to do with. And I’m the one who could stamp you out faster than you can say ‘fuck you.’ So get the fuck out of my sight and never step foot near me again.”

  Wild, ferocious energy surges through the room as King grabs a handful of Hagarty’s shirt and yanks him close. “You’re forgetting that you’re also the one who likes to stick his dick in asses it shouldn’t go in, and that shit isn’t something any of your powerful friends would take your back on if it became public knowledg
e.” He pushes Hagarty away with enough force to send him to the floor with a thunderous crack to his head. His boots are heavy thuds as he stalks to where Hagarty now lies. Bending over him, he punches him harder than I’ve seen King punch someone in a long while. He rinses and repeats a few times before roaring, “I’m the one who can fuck your life up and put you in a world of hurt. You think those assholes at your party have power? That’s not real power. Not the kind that brings a man to his knees to beg for fucking mercy. Not the kind that deals with people so they’re never heard from again. And sure as fuck not the kind that can save you from me.” He leans forward and brings his face to Hagarty’s. “You will do as I’ve said, by the end of the fucking day, or you’re going to learn that when I make a promise, I fucking deliver on it.”

  As King’s finishing up delivering his message, another guy enters the room, quickly pulling his gun when he eyes us. But I’ve already seen that coming and am two steps ahead of him. By the time he’s got his gun out, I’ve covered the distance between us and have my fist in his face. I catch him off guard and knock his gun from his hand. He fights back, taking aim at my cheek, but I anticipate that and dodge the punch. Slamming into him, I propel him back against the wall. With one hand to his throat, gripping hard enough to cut his oxygen, I reach for my gun and have it to his head before he even knows what the fuck’s happening.

  “Move and you’ll have a bullet in your skull,” I growl, my body raging with the desire to inflict pain.

  He jerks in my hold, grunting his anger, but he’s smart and doesn’t fight me.

  “Do as he says, Marco,” Hagarty says, seething at King.

  When I read Marco’s retreat in his eyes, I squeeze his throat one last time and then shove myself away from him.

  “I’ll expect a phone call tonight to tell me it’s done,” King says to Hagarty. I know for a fact he won’t need that phone call to know shit’s been taken care of because Axe will let him know once that’s done. If Hagarty thinks he has any hope of not doing what King’s told him to, he’s mistaken; King has eyes all over his business dealings and won’t hesitate to take action to get what he wants.