The Clay Head Benediction

by Marty Rafter

and then went into the bathroom. It was, in fact, a pretty disgusting scene, but I was able to fix everything in less than a minute.

  When I exit the bathroom, the man on the couch is lighting a bong, and I say “for future reference, I am going to put a plunger down in the basement in the cabinet next to the washing machines. You run into this problem again, the solution will be right down there”

  “Oh, thanks so much, bro. Yeah, sorry about that. Like I said, I don’t know what happened”

  “Probably too much toilet paper” I say

  “You want to hit this?” The man on the couch asks, gesturing to the bong

  “You know, I kind of work for the company, and you are using an illegal drug in one of our buildings...”

  “Oh shit!” Says the kid on the couch

  “No. no. What I am trying to say is, I can’t join you. And if anyone asks you, I didn’t see anything, and it would be a big help to me if nobody asks you” I say

  “Oh yeah, man. Definitely. Sorry about that. You almost gave me a heart attack there for a second” he says

  “No I didn’t” I say “I just took too long getting to my point...There was no risk of a heart attack” I smile and the two stoned guys on the couch smile back at me. Then, I notice on their low side table, a trumpet standing on its bell with a single wilted rose sticking out of its mouthpiece.

  “Is that your trumpet?” I ask

  “That is my flower vase” says the man I presume to be Craig

  “Clever” I say

  “The rose died. I got it from my girlfriend”

  “The trumpet?” I ask

  “No, the rose. The trumpet is mine from high school”

  “You wouldn’t have an interest in selling it would you? I have a good friend who is in the market for a used trumpet”

  “No, probably not, man.” He says

  “What if I could pay you now? Say, a hundred and fifty bucks, I can go it the money from my apartment right away” I say

  “That’s kind of cheap” he says “it’s a pretty decent trumpet”

  “Yeah, but it is a pretty crappy vase” I say

  Both of the guys on the couch laugh a little too long, and when they finish, I say, “So, what do you think? $150?”

  “Sure, man” says Craig after a few seconds of feigned deliberation.

  Then, after a return to my apartment, and a quick transaction, I am the proud new owner of a decent used trumpet. It is still only 11:30 by the time my superintendent duties are complete, and since it is Sunday, and the changes are decent that Brian Folz will not be there, I decide to go the library. So, I put on a baseball cap as a cursory disguise and collect the trumpet into a small gym bag and walk to the library. When I get there, the guard who handled my original eviction is posted at the door, but I walk quickly by him, and he does not notice me. My plan is to seek out Ben, but I decide first to walk around the library for a little bit first in case I am discovered and forced to leave, I do not want to miss spending time with the books. I prowl the stacks for a while, and search out the hiding places of a few of my heads. They are all gone, even the one behind the Physicians’ Desk Reference. I hope that they have been discovered by people who will keep them.

  Then, I find Ben. He is where I expected him to be; at the table where we always met at the mezzanine. He does not have any books on the table in front of him, but he does have an opened case of Coke and a few empty cans across the desk. He has headphones on, and seems to be listening intently. I sit down across from him. He looks up at me, but does not say anything, so I sit and wait. After a few minutes, he still doesn’t talk, so I take off my hat.

  “I thought you said you weren’t allowed to come here” he says

  “I’m not.”

  “Then, why are you here?”

  “I figured that Brian Folz wouldn’t be here…I am taking my chances because I wanted to talk to you.” I say

  “I am leaving anyway”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Out of the library, I guess” he says. Then, he starts to pack up his things, and collects his cans into a plastic bag

  “Can I come with you?” I ask

  “Yeah. You can.” He says

  So, we walk out of the library together and Ben lights a cigarette, and then starts quickly up the sidewalk

  “Wait, Ben. Can we sit down for a second? I want to talk”

  “We already talked. I already heard what you had to say.” He says

  “Seriously, just for a second. Let's go sit down over there, just hear me out for a minute”

  Ben freezes and watches me for a bit, and then he says “Ok”

  So, we sit on the bench together in silence while Ben smokes and then finally, I say “I thought about what you said”

  “When I said what?”

  “Not when….what. What you said about the devil” I say

  “…and you think its bullshit, and it is all in my mind and nothing bad ever fucking happens in the world, huh?”

  “No, Ben. That isn’t what I am going to say”

  “That is what you are thinking” he says

  “You don’t know what I’m thinking”

  “So you just want to argue? Is that why you came here, to argue again about how every but you is wrong?”

  “No, man. Listen. I came to say, that if what you are thinking about is true, about the devil and all that.”

  “The devil is real Luke. I have seen the devil, and he asked me about you.”

  “When was that?”

  “When I fucking told you. When I asked you for the new head.” He says

  “That was the devil?”

  “Who the fuck else would it have been. I mean think about it for a second. Who could it have been?” Ben says

  “It could have been anybody. Or it could have been nobody. “

  “Nobody?”

  “I don’t mean it like that, Ben. I mean, people get confused about things”

  “I am not fucking confused” he says furiously puffing on his cigarette

  “Let's not worry about that right now. What I wanted to say is this: If you’re right. I am not going to say that absolutely you are anything, not right or wrong, but if the devil is around, and he is getting people to think about things that they don’t want to, the first thing he would really do is try to drive a wedge between people…to make people suspect each other”

  “That is what I have been saying. That is what he fucking wants. “Ben says

  “So, why let him win? Why let him convince you that your friends are out to get you?” I say

  Ben sits silently for a minute, and I lift up the gym bag “I got you something”

  “I don’t want anything” he says

  “You might want this.” I say as I unzip the bag and pull out the trumpet

  “What is that?”

  “It’s a trumpet”

  “I know it is a fucking trumpet, but why is it a trumpet?”

  “Because it is for you.” I say

  “You bought me a trumpet”

  “I met a guy who had it, and he didn’t want it.’ I say, as I try to hand the trumpet to him.

  He takes it from me, and looks at it. “What the fuck is all this shit?”

  “I thought you might want to make music. No pressure, man. It isn’t a big deal...just...it is yours if you want it”

  “Hell yeah, I want it.” He says

  “Well, there you go then. You have it. A new trumpet”

  “Are you coming tomorrow?”

  “Here? No. I can’t. They still won’t let me in.”

  “You are serious about that?” He asks

  “Yeah, I ‘m serious. They banned me, plus I am supposed to meet somebody.”

  “Who?”

  “There is this girl from the museum...”

  “Well, that will do it, now you really aren’t coming back”

  “That i
sn’t why I’m not coming back”

  “Yes, it is. You got this girlfriend, and I get the big damn kiss off. Here is a trumpet for a consolation prize” he says

  “Ben. No. That is not it. First off, I don’t have a girlfriend, and I probably won’t after tomorrow. I have an appointment. Second, I got another job. I am the super of my building. Which is where I will mostly be, and you can come there anytime you want.”

  “Your girlfriend won’t like me anyway”

  “I just said, I don’t have a girlfriend. Plus, you know where I’ll be. I will also be around; maybe I can even stop by your place sometime, if you want. I just can’t come here”

  “Brian Folz?”

  “Yeah. Brian Folz. He says I can’t come here.”

  “Fuck him.” Ben says

  “He doesn’t know what he’s doing, Ben. He is like everybody else, he isn’t bad, he is just confused”

  “Still, fuck him.” Ben says, and then he is quiet for a while. “You need me to get you some books?” He asks

  “Do you have a library card?”

  “No, but I could probably get one”

  “That’s ok, Ben. They will probably let me back sooner or later”

  “I can get them if you want” he says

  “You might be too busy practicing your trumpet”

  He looks down at the instrument and says, “This thing is going to make me fucking famous. You watch. Nobody thinks so, but it will”

  “I hope you enjoy it.” I say

  “Oh, I do” says Ben, and he stands up and walks away.

  I walk quickly back to my apartment. The exercise feels good, and even though I have barely slept, I don’t feel tired at all, so I decide to collect the envelope containing Donald’s lease amendment and walk it back to the rental office. When I get there, I am surprised to find it open and Ron Reinhold inside filing some papers.

  “Donald Thigpen’s lease amendment” I say, handing him the envelope.

  “See, that is just what I expect from