It Started at Christmas...

by Jo McNally

  Chapter Nine

  Blake shook with anger as he marched through the airport in Sydney, Australia. Ten days ago, he’d called Amanda about sending Zach to Beakman. Ten freakin’ days.

  She’d begged him to put the boy in public school, but that was a nonstarter. He slowed his pace a bit as he headed for his gate. His sister, of course, would have loved the idea of her little boy being the first Randall to break the private school tradition. But as much as he’d adored Tiffany, she’d thrown her life away, and now it was up to Blake to make sure Zachary had a proper upbringing.

  Amanda finally assured him that she would have Zach ready to go when Beakman sent someone. He’d checked his nephew off on his mental to-do list days ago and focused on getting construction on the new resort back up to speed. The Blake Randall No Surprises Lifestyle was firmly back in place. Until yesterday.

  Yesterday was when he got a call from the headmaster, wondering where to send Zach’s things, since he wasn’t returning. Blake thought he was going to burst a blood vessel right there on the spot.

  There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Zachary was riding a school bus to the tired little school in Gallant Lake, getting who knows what for an education. And Amanda lied about it. She lied to him. About his family. He gave the headmaster some excuse about a “miscommunication” and booked his flight home.

  The outright gall of the woman, to openly defy him over a family issue that had nothing to do with her! Apparently he’d badly misjudged her common sense. She had to know she’d be finished as soon as he discovered what she’d done.

  He walked down the gangway to the plane and frowned. He should have known about Zach before now, of course. He should have checked on his nephew. It rankled him that he wouldn’t have known anything was amiss if the school hadn’t called him. He would have shown up in Gallant Lake in a week or two and...what?

  He fell into his first-class seat with a sigh and shook his head. That woman had big brass ones, all right. She probably figured she was safe because he hadn’t communicated with her much while he was traveling. That silence had been very intentional. Every time he heard Amanda’s sweet voice, his longing for her increased. He needed his focus, and she messed with that just by breathing a few words into the phone from thousands of miles away.

  It started when she sent him that picture a few weeks ago of herself on the ladder in her tight jeans and ball cap, ponytail dangling down her back, laughing at the camera. When he saw the photo on his phone, it took every ounce of strength not to leave the meeting he was in and jump on the next flight to be with her. The woman was bad for business. She was bad for him.

  She knew he was going to find out about Zach eventually. She was probably sweating bullets over it right now. What kind of crazy plan did she have? He shook his head grimly and pulled out his phone. It was time to make her squirm. He tapped out a text.

  How’s the house coming? Any problems getting Zach to go back to school?

  He waited so long he thought he was going to have to turn off the phone before she answered. The jet’s doors were just closing when his phone finally chirped.

  House is great. Furniture arriving. Zach loves school.

  He laughed out loud, ignoring the looks from his fellow passengers. She didn’t quite lie, did she? She didn’t say which school. Did she think she could get away with dancing that fine line for long? He’d be in Gallant Lake tomorrow, and he couldn’t wait to see her face when he arrived. He sent her a quick reply just as the flight attendant asked him to shut off the phone.

  Glad to hear it. See you in a couple weeks.

  It was a long twenty-four-hour journey with very little sleep, and he was simmering with angry anticipation when he finally arrived at JFK. Amanda had single-handedly blown his No Surprises plan right out of the water. He had the evidence to throw in her face, which was exactly what he’d do when he saw her.

  He leaned back against the seat. Why didn’t he feel better about it?

  * * *

  Amanda paced the main hall at Halcyon restlessly. The house was empty and quiet. Bobby’s crew was off today, working on a charity home-build down in White Plains. Zach was in school. She walked into the living room and looked at the freshly painted walls. She frowned when she saw a few uneven spots near the ceiling, above the doorway. She sighed. It was going to bother her until she fixed it.

  The painting crew’s twelve-foot stepladder was nearby, along with paint and an assortment of brushes. She glanced down at her clothes. These old jeans and sweatshirt were perfect for painting. The job would help keep her mind off Blake.

  She was standing on the ladder with her back to it, leaning forward to reach a spot above the doorway to the main hall. Humming to herself, she gently smoothed the uneven lines with a small angled brush. She never heard the limo pull up in front of the big house. Didn’t hear footsteps cross the stone porch. But she certainly heard the front door fly open with a crash. The sound nearly upended her, and she leaned back against the shaking ladder to steady herself.

  “Amanda!”

  How on earth could Blake be here? He’d just sent a text from Bali yesterday. Her heart dropped. The day she’d been dreading had arrived earlier than expected. He knew Zach wasn’t at boarding school. And he’d flown halfway around the world to confront her in person. He shouted her name up the staircase.

  His jaw was set, his brows drawn together, and his body was tight and tense. Dressed for the islands in linen slacks and a white cotton shirt, he looked even more handsome than she remembered. When he spun in her direction and spotted her up on the ladder, his eyes were blazing. There was a flicker of surprise, perhaps even concern, as he registered that she was at least ten feet above the floor. Her palms started to sweat.

  “What are you doing up there?” He started marching in her direction.

  “Um...painting...” Her voice sounded like a squeak in her own ears. Steady, girl, steady.

  “The idea was not for you to actually do the work, Amanda. Come down before you fall.”

  He had a right to be angry. She’d caused this mess. She studied his stony face, then shook her head. “I think I’ll stay right here.”

  She moved another step up on the ladder, so her bottom was sitting on the very top. The ladder shuddered, and she reached down to grab either side of her seat. His hands shot out to steady the ladder from below.

  “For God’s sake, Amanda, I have no intention of snatching you off this thing.”

  The gleaming marble floor was a long way down. It was bad enough that Blake was about to break her heart. Falling off this ladder wasn’t going to help matters. She carefully slid down so that she was sitting on the second step from the top. Once she was settled, she raised one brow and gave him her most calm and collected expression. She knew she was about to be fired. Might as well go out with attitude, right?

  “So...you wanted to talk?”

  If the moment wasn’t so serious, she would have laughed out loud at the way he sputtered at her bravado. Then he slowly shook his head and leveled a glare at her. Now that he was no longer worried, he’d found his anger again.

  “Do you have any idea how stupid I felt when the headmaster called to ask where to send Zach’s things? How furious I was when I realized you must have enrolled him in a public school after I told you not to?” He ran an agitated hand through his hair as she watched, wide-eyed and silent. His voice rose to a bellow, echoing off the walls. “Just who the hell do you think you are, Amanda Lowery? You’re not Zach’s guardian. You’re not even his family! You’re just an employee who can’t follow simple instructions.”

  She stiffened. “Just an employee, huh? Well, that doesn’t say much for your parenting skills, does it? Because when your nephew needed you, you pawned him off on this ‘employee’ you barely know.” She struck her chest with her hand. She thought about her own childhood, when her stepfather ignored
her at her darkest hour. “You just kept working on your big important hotel projects halfway around the world. You didn’t even call to see how he was doing. It took you all this time to realize he wasn’t at Beakman. As long as you could stay uninvolved in his problems and send him away again, you were happy as a clam, weren’t you?”

  He took a step backward, looking stunned by her fierce words. She was just getting started.

  “He’s a little boy, Blake! A little boy with no parents, and a family who clearly views him as some annoying burden. Do you think he doesn’t see how unimportant he is to all of you?”

  “He’s not unimportant. I’m spending a hell of a lot of money on his education...”

  She threw her hands up. The motion made the ladder shake, and Blake reached out to grab it again as she spat her words down at him.

  “Money! That’s all you care about!”

  She gestured wildly, and Blake cursed as he held the ladder.

  “Come down here, goddamn it, before you fall.”

  She ignored him. She’d been nursing her rage for days now, and she wasn’t about to hold back. Not anymore.

  “I don’t know what’s going on with your family, Blake, but you are all seriously screwed up. This child—and he is a child—lost his mother, and is unwanted by anyone in his own family. You farm him out to private schools when he’s only ten years old. My God, he’s a scared, lonely little boy who just wants to have a childhood. What is wrong with you people?”

  Blake’s eyes narrowed again, and a muscle twitched in his cheek. He was pissed off. Well, good. So was she. His voice was raw with emotion when he finally responded.

  “How dare you suggest that I don’t care about Zachary! He’s my sister’s son. I don’t want Zach to be weak like his mother was. He needs discipline and structure. Beakman is not a prison. It’s a school, where he’ll be safe and will have someone directing him...”

  She shook her head sadly, tears burning at her eyes. She wasn’t sure who she felt sorrier for—Zach or Blake. “He’s not weak. He’s terrified. He’s lonely. He doesn’t need direction. He needs love.” Blake rolled his eyes and groaned.

  “Oh, yeah, that’s right. Love solves everything. Let me know how that works out for you in that Pollyanna world you seem to be living in. Because here in the real world, it’s hard work and education that pave the way to success. Love is a ridiculous, frivolous emotion. My sister was chasing love when she died. My mother was chasing love when she abandoned her children. And aren’t you chasing it right now by pretending to be Zach’s mother?”

  His words hit her heart like a box cutter blade—sharp, straight and deep. Blake pointed at her, not done yet.

  “Love is like fool’s gold, Amanda. Love is an illusion. A trick. A flicker of a moment that’s not worth the resulting trouble.”

  She stared at Blake’s hard face, trying to process his words. Did he really believe that? What hope was there for Zachary if he did? What hope was there for her? Deflated, she started moving slowly down the ladder. She stopped on that last step and looked at him sadly.

  “Zach is a little boy who is full of love. And he has no one to give it to. How exactly is that going to work out for him, Blake?”

  He blinked and looked away from her. His voice sounded hollow. “Little boys grow up. He just has to do it a little sooner than most. He’ll survive. I did.”

  “At what cost?”

  She whispered the words, but he flinched as if she’d slapped him. Before he could speak, she stepped off the ladder and moved to brush past him. Her heart was a cold, leaden weight in her chest. “I may just be an employee who disobeyed orders. But your nephew is happy at the Gallant Lake school. He’s making friends. He does his homework every night. He’s a really good kid, Blake. He deserves more than what you had.”

  He put his hand on her arm and spun her around. She had no choice but to meet his angry stare. “More? More? You don’t know what you’re talking about. I had everything. I was raised in a life of privilege, just like Zach will be. He’ll make his mark in the world, just as every generation of Randalls has done. That’s what’s expected...” His voice trailed off as if he suddenly doubted his own words. As if he were reciting a family mantra that had been force-fed to him.

  Her anger flared afresh. “And how has that worked out for you, Blake? You were given ‘everything’...” She raised her fingers to make air quotes. “How much ‘everything’ do you need to be satisfied? Is this house enough?” She gestured to the grand staircase. “Or maybe you should defy the courts and tear this down along with all the other properties to build your big casino. Will that be enough? Will ruining an entire community be enough for you?” Her voice hardened even as her tears spilled over. She was ending whatever hope they had for a future. Those wonderful kisses were nothing more than a bittersweet memory. “And what will be enough for Zach? Will he have to be richer than you to have ‘everything’? Own more properties? Have more success? Isn’t that what already broke his mother?”

  His hand tightened on her arm.

  “Don’t you talk about his mother! Don’t you dare talk about Tiffany like you knew her. You didn’t know her at all. You don’t know me. You don’t know a damned thing, Amanda. Do you hear me?”

  His voice rose with every sentence until he was shouting. She blanched in the face of his fury. His grip wasn’t painful, but she felt panic rising in her chest. Or was it heartbreak? Tears poured down her face and she raised her hands to push him away. He was too close. It was too much.

  “Let her go!”

  Zachary stood in the doorway. Her heart dropped. How much had he heard? Zach ran in from the main hall and launched himself at Blake’s back, pummeling his uncle’s broad shoulders with small fists.

  “Let her go, Uncle Blake! Don’t you hurt her! Let her go!”

  Chapter Ten

  Blake had no choice but to release Amanda so he could deflect Zach’s blows. He turned to focus on his nephew, catching Zach’s arms gently in his hands and dropping to his knees.

  “Zachary, stop!” Blake’s voice was firm but calm. “I would never hurt her...” Over Zach’s shoulder, he saw Amanda run up the stairs. He felt a searing flash of guilt. He’d put his hands on her in anger. The thought made him sick.

  “I saw you! She’s the only person who’s been nice to me and you made her cry! She cries so much...” Zach’s brown eyes were wide and overflowing with tears. Appalled, Blake pulled the little boy into his arms.

  Wait. What had he said? Blake held Zach out at arm’s length again.

  “What do you mean ‘she cries so much’? Why does Amanda cry, Zach?”

  Zach shrugged, sniffling at his tears. Blake handed him a handkerchief and sat back on his heels while Zach blew his nose and dried his eyes.

  “She was crying in the sunny room last week. And she has nightmares...”

  “Nightmares?”

  Zach nodded solemnly. “She screams really loud.”

  A chill settled over Blake’s heart. Nightmares. Alone in this big house. The thought was so disturbing he barely noticed Zach was speaking again.

  “She won’t let me in there, Uncle Blake. She locked her door after the first time. She said she’s afraid she’ll hurt me, but she’d never do that.”

  Blake dropped his head into his hands and groaned. What the hell had been happening in this house while he was intentionally avoiding them? While he was too far away to know or care that a frightened woman and his lonely nephew were barely holding each other together here without him. The same way he’d left Zach alone with Tiffany while she fought her demons. The kid was only ten years old. Was there any relationship Blake couldn’t screw up?

  “A bad man scared her.”

  Blake looked up sharply at those words. Staring straight into those brown eyes that reminded him so much of his sister’s, Blake forced his voice to
sound light and unconcerned. He didn’t want to show the panic that Zach’s words incited in him.

  “Tell me what you mean by that, Zach. What bad man?” He thought of those sleazy guys hanging out with the protestors. Did someone harass her?

  “She said it was a long time ago. Sometimes she sees the guy in her sleep and has nightmares.”

  A long time ago? She got upset when he asked her about her childhood. What the hell had happened to her? His face burned with shame, thinking how he’d just grabbed her like an angry brute.

  “Zach, do you know where Amanda went?”

  His nephew frowned. “Probably to the balcony in her room. She likes it up there.” Zach fixed him with a stern look. “Don’t hurt her.”

  “I won’t. I promise.” He swallowed hard, hating that his nephew thought him capable of hurting Amanda. “I’m going to apologize for scaring her. Why don’t you do your homework while I do that, okay?”

  Zach studied him solemnly, then nodded. “Can I use the living room?”

  “Of course. And, Zach?” Blake caught Zach’s hand as the boy started to turn away. “I want you to know that I would never intentionally hurt Amanda. Hurting girls is a very bad thing to do. You know that, right?”

  Zach stared back, wide-eyed. He looked so much like his mother, with that intriguing blend of innocence and wisdom.

  Blake sighed. “Do you like your school?”

  The boy’s eyes lit up. “Yeah! Mr. Hoffman is cool, and the kids are nice. And I get to ride the school bus!”

  Blake gave the boy a quick, awkward hug. Things hadn’t been easy for Zach, and Blake really didn’t know what to do for the kid. He winced at the realization that he’d basically done nothing at all. Amanda was right. He just kept sending him away. She was probably the first person to show Zach any true affection since his mother died.

  “I’m glad you like it. Now go do your homework. We’ll all go down to the resort for dinner in a while.” Zach dashed into the living room with his backpack. Blake took the stairs two at a time. Would Amanda forgive him?