It Started at Christmas...

by Jo McNally

  “Oh, my God!” Julie laughed as she walked into the room. “I want some of what you’ve been having. You look positively dreamy eyed. Am I too late for lunch?”

  Amanda cringed at being caught in a sexy daydream.

  “Hi, Jules, I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “Sorry if I startled you, but one of Bobby’s guys left the door open. We’re still on, right?”

  “Yes, of course. I’ve got lunch set up in the solarium.”

  “Do I even need to guess who’s got you so distracted this morning?” Julie grinned as she sat down and took a sandwich from the platter. “And just so you know, Blake’s sporting a very similar postcoital glow.”

  “Julie!” She couldn’t help but laugh. “Be quiet! I don’t want the workers hearing about my coital anything. God, I can’t believe I’m so transparent.”

  “Honey, you and I are friends. Of course I notice when you get all dewy-eyed and glowy. Things are getting serious?”

  A familiar panic climbed her spine. Were they getting serious? Or was it just her? She took a few bites of her sandwich while her mind tried to make sense of things. She and Blake were sleeping together, living together, raising Zach together, but...so far he’d only talked about her working for him in the future. Nothing about what their relationship might be.

  “I don’t know, Julie. I’m so confused right now. It’s not easy for me to trust anyone, even Blake, with my heart. I hate it, but my mind is always looking for what’s going to go wrong, no matter how good things are.” She took a sip of tea. “Christmas is less than two months away, and I don’t know what his plans are. Will I still be here?”

  Julie laughed. “My guess is a solid yes to that question. He’s nuts for you. He asked me to confirm two tickets for the Builders Ball gala in Manhattan this weekend, and I’m sure he’s planning on taking you.”

  It was the first she’d heard of anything called a “Builders Ball” or plans for the weekend. Amanda thought about what Bruce said. “Do you know anything about Blake buying land for the casino?”

  Julie’s eyes went wide. “That was an unexpected change of subject. I know he’s met with some Realtors, but I got the impression he was backing off on the casino plans. Why?”

  She told Julie about her conversation with Bruce Hoffman. She told her what Blake said about not changing the resort. But he never actually said he wasn’t building a casino somewhere.

  A rough laugh startled both women. Russ was standing at the entrance to the solarium, a smirk on his unshaven face. His clothes were rumpled, as usual, and Amanda could smell the stale scent of cigarette smoke from where she was sitting. He spoke before she could question why he was there.

  “You still don’t get it, do you? Randall’s out to own the whole town. The whole damned county. He’s snapping up everything that goes on the market. Pretty soon there won’t be anyone left to fight him on that damned casino.” He gave her a malevolent glare. “Unless someone stops him.”

  “Russ!” Bobby came up behind him. “What the hell are you doing in here? I told you to work on the trim in the office, which is that way. Don’t let me catch you bothering anyone again.”

  Russ held his hands up, mumbled an apology and walked away. Bobby looked at the two women.

  “What was he saying to you? The guy’s worked with me before, but his attitude lately sucks. I can tell him to go...”

  Amanda shook her head.

  “You’re almost done here, Bobby, and you need all hands on deck. It’s fine.” She gave him a smile. “But thanks for watching out for us.”

  Amanda and Julie stared at each other over the table after Bobby left. Blake said Gallant Lake was hallowed ground. Was he only talking about the resort?

  “Julie, do you think he’d build a casino somewhere else in town and claim he’d kept his word?”

  Julie ran her fingers up and down the handle of her teacup, frowning. “I want to say no. And I really can’t believe he’d do that. But...” She looked over to Amanda. “His father and brother came to the resort today to meet with Blake. They were just going in when I left. They didn’t look very happy, but...”

  Blake never had anything good to say about his father and brother, but they were real estate developers. And they were family.

  “Bruce and Russ both said he’s buying land...”

  “Well, we can check that.” Julie sat back in her chair. “I help Bobby with his building permits, so I know my way around the county’s website. I can pull the tax records online. If Blake’s buying land, we’ll know it, but I’m sure it’s all just a crazy rumor.”

  She might be right, but it was a rumor that tapped into Amanda’s greatest fear—that everything in Gallant Lake was an illusion. That Blake couldn’t be trusted. That he could betray her the same way all the other men in her life had done. Her stepfather. Jimmy Waldron. David Franklin. The creep who attacked her in New York.

  There was a drumbeat hammering in her heart, warning her to think before reacting. That Blake wasn’t like the others. That she didn’t know everything. That she was jumping to conclusions. That she had no right to judge.

  “Amanda? Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  She looked up at the ceiling and blinked away tears. “I know I’m too quick to believe the worst, but I’m terrified that loving Blake gives him the power to really hurt me. That might just be a hurt I can’t recover from.” She met Julie’s worried look. “I am in love with him.”

  “That’s pretty easy to see. I think he’s falling in love with you, too. The way he looks at you gives me goose bumps. He’s been a different man since you arrived.”

  Was it possible he felt the same way she did? A flush of heat swept from her toes to her scalp as her heart whispered, I told you so. She took a deep breath and noticed the light fragrance of roses in the room. One of the random things she’d always blamed on Madeleine, but there had to be a logical reason the room always smelled like flowers. She stood, then answered Julie’s questioning gaze.

  “I’m going to grab my laptop. I’ll be right back.”

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Julie hedged.

  Amanda closed her eyes in resignation. “I need to know.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Twenty pages of tax property records were stacked on the round table in front of Amanda. She’d printed the property records after Julie found them all. Blake’s name was on every one of them.

  “Hey.” Blake’s deep voice made her jump. He was standing just inside the solarium, rubbing the back of his neck absently. Lines of tension radiated from the corners of his eyes. He looked as on edge as she felt.

  She stood slowly, her heart racing. She wanted to run into his arms. She frowned. She had to be strong enough to do what she needed to do, not what she wanted to do. She had to protect her heart. She rested her hands on the tax papers.

  “Are you building a casino here?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Not you, too. Why would you even ask me that question after I told you I wasn’t?”

  “Why won’t you answer? You’re buying land all over town, Blake. And outside of town, all over the county. Twenty different properties.” She held up the papers and shook them. “Why do that if you aren’t building the casino?”

  He stepped forward, his mouth falling open.

  “You pulled tax records on me? You’ve gathered the evidence and convicted me before you even asked a single question. What the hell, Amanda?”

  He’s right. He’s right. He’s right.

  Her heart hammered out the mantra, but she was too determined to turn back now. She had to be sure. She had to have answers, no matter how much it hurt. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

  He was standing across the table from her now, and she watched a parade of emotions cross his face. Hurt. Fury. Sadness. That drumbeat in her heart grew
louder, begging her to stop.

  “No, I’m not building a casino—here or anywhere. But I’ve told you that already, haven’t I?”

  “Then why are you buying up every parcel of land that’s available? Houses. Farms. Businesses. Acreage. Why?”

  His fingers curled tightly, then slowly released, as if he was trying to curb his anger. He muttered something to himself, then took a deep breath and met her eyes.

  “It’s not what it looks like.” He gestured to the papers now scattered across the table where she’d dropped them.

  “It’s not what it looks like...” she echoed.

  Slow down. Slow down. Slow down...

  It was too late to stop the words she was thinking from spilling out. “In my experience, when a man says that, it’s usually exactly what it looks like.”

  His shoulders dropped. “Damn it, Amanda, have I ever given you a reason to doubt me? Do you really think I’m anything like Franklin or whomever else from your past you think I’m channeling? This is me.”

  She wanted to believe him, but fear whispered to her from the edges of the darkness closing in on her. She turned away and moved to the window.

  “Were your father and brother here because of the casino?”

  “Yes, but not...”

  She faced him again, unable to stop the question before blurting it out. “Are you going into the city this weekend? Alone?”

  Because he certainly hadn’t invited her. Blake’s eyes closed slowly, and she could almost see him counting to himself, trying to control his reaction. After a long, tense pause, he opened those eyes just as slowly.

  “If you’re going to turn into a jealous mistress every time someone—”

  “A mistress? Did you just call me a mistress?”

  “You know that’s not what I meant.”

  “Do I?”

  He stared at her a long moment, then sighed. “Well, if you don’t, then what the hell are we doing together?”

  Her heart wanted this to stop. She wanted to stop. She wanted to stop hurting him. She wanted to stop destroying whatever they’d been building together at Halcyon. But she was no good at this. No good at trusting.

  “So tell me about this Builders Ball. Who are you planning to take?”

  Blake leaned forward and slammed his hands down on the table with so much force the property records went flying in different directions. They fluttered down to the tile floor like the dead leaves falling off the autumn trees outside.

  “Are you kidding me? I was going to take you, but that feels like a really bad idea right now. In fact, the only thing that feels like a good idea is me getting the hell out of here so we don’t do any more damage than we already have.”

  She knew it. He was always going to leave her. Her terror made her next words come out in an angry hiss.

  “Well, don’t let me stop you. Go ahead and leave! Go plan your big casino and all those wonderful jobs you talked about. Go back to your real life and your fancy balls and all your traveling. You were never going to stay here anyway, were you?”

  He spread his arms wide in an angry gesture.

  “Now you’re just looking for ways to keep this ridiculous argument going. This is the kind of bullshit I hate. The stupid games. The petty jealousy. The verbal traps. I get enough of this crap from my family, and I sure as hell don’t need it from you.”

  He turned away, then spun back again, as if he was having the same kind of internal battle she was. His shoulders dropped in resignation.

  “Amanda, I don’t even know what to say to you right now. After last night. After this weekend. After I...” He stopped and his expression hardened. “If you can’t trust me, if you think so little of me...if you’ll fall for every whispered rumor...then what the hell are we doing here?”

  Anger and hurt built in the silence until it shimmered in the air between them.

  And still she couldn’t stop talking. She had some visceral need to be the one to push them apart, as if she could protect herself that way. As if it wasn’t already too late.

  “What are we doing? Apparently...nothing.”

  She watched the shutters close behind his eyes. His emotionless face scared her much more than his anger had.

  “I’m going to leave before one of us says something unforgivable. And we’re getting pretty goddamned close to that right now.” His voice was flat, but his words still felt like knives. “Goddamn relationships. I’ll never learn.”

  He stared at the floor for a long beat, then turned away. The pain in her chest was so intense that her hand rose to cover it. A cloud must have passed over the house, because the light from the windows dimmed, and the room turned sharply colder. When she looked back to the doorway, Blake was gone.

  His name escaped her lips in a whisper. She rushed to the door, but by the time she reached the front steps, his black SUV was already spinning its tires on the way down the driveway.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Every passing hour made Amanda feel worse. It was Thursday afternoon, and Blake hadn’t called or texted since he left in a cloud of dust on Monday, although he did talk to Zach every day. She knew he was in New York because Zach told her as much, but she didn’t know when, or even if, he was coming back to Halcyon. And it was all her fault.

  Julie kept offering to stop by, but Amanda needed to be alone. She wanted to wallow in her pain and she didn’t want anyone trying to talk her out of it. She deserved this. She paced the house endlessly, trying to understand what had happened. What she’d done. Why she’d done it. Whether or not she’d been right. And whether or not it could be fixed.

  As usual, she ended up in Blake’s office. The room was almost done. A dark Persian rug covered the hardwood floors. One long wall was lined with mahogany bookcases stretching to the high ceiling. An old-fashioned library ladder on wheels would be the final touch, giving access to the highest shelves. They just needed to finish the trim work and install the rail the ladder would slide on, and the room would be complete.

  The desk had been delivered yesterday. The antique from Halcyon’s attic still held a few secrets. The refinisher found several hidden compartments and false drawer bottoms. Most opened easily with spring mechanisms, but there was one, in the back of the lower drawer, that was locked up tight. A filigreed lock showed where a tiny key would fit. Everyone agreed it would be a shame to risk destroying something so delicately made. For now, it would remain sealed.

  She ran her fingers over the carved edges of the desk, wishing it was Blake she was touching. With a sigh, she set her phone on the speaker dock on the corner of the desk and started her newest playlist—a repeating cycle of heartbreak.

  The curtains swayed behind her as if someone walked past them. Maybe Halcyon’s lovesick ghost was nearby.

  “Madeleine, you’re wasting your time with Blake and me. It’s hopeless.”

  “Miss Amanda? Who are you talking to? Is Uncle Blake on the phone?”

  Zachary stood in the doorway, head tipped to the side, looking at her strangely.

  “Um...no. No one’s on the phone. I was just talking to myself. I do that sometimes. Pretty silly, huh?”

  He nodded, but didn’t seem convinced. “When is Uncle Blake coming home? Why is he staying in New York this week?”

  She wanted to scream to the rafters that she was the reason Blake wasn’t with them. That she had hurt him and pushed him away, and she didn’t know when he might be back. But instead, she smiled warmly and tried to reassure a young boy who had no idea that the two adults in his life had made such a monumental mess of things.

  “I hope he’ll be home next week. He has something to do in the city this weekend.” She tried to distract Zach. “Are the boys coming over to swim today?”

  Zach’s new friends at school had enjoyed the indoor pool at the resort several times in the past few weeks. He
was still enrolled in the Gallant Lake Elementary School as Zachary Lowery, but his closest friends now knew his real name, and that he actually lived in the castle on the hill. They were enjoying the perks of being friends with the resort owner’s nephew.

  “We’re not swimming today. Maybe tomorrow.” He shrugged, still staring at her curiously. “Did you and Uncle Blake have a fight?”

  This boy was depending on them and saw them as a couple. As a family. His family. He deserved better than to worry about the adults in his life arguing on a regular basis.

  “We had a...disagreement, Zach. Nothing for you to worry about.” She hoped that was true.

  “I heard you yelling the other day about all the places Uncle Blake is buying. Why did that make you so mad?”

  Amanda gestured to the chair in front of the desk. “Have a seat, Zach.” He sat in the chair and waited, with that wise-beyond-his-years expression she loved so much. She loved this boy. She loved his uncle.

  “Your uncle and I are having a disagreement about something he wants to build here in Gallant Lake.”

  “The gambling place?”

  She wasn’t surprised he’d heard about it, probably in school.

  “Yes, the casino.”

  “But he doesn’t want to build it anymore. He told me so.”

  A pulse of hope made her sit straighter, followed quickly by a jolt of panic. Had she been wrong about everything? “When did he tell you that, Zach?”

  “When we were fishing. He said he used to want to build a big place that would give lots of people jobs—” Amanda started to roll her eyes, but Zach kept talking “—but he decided it was more important to...pre...present...pres...”

  “Preserve?” she prompted him, feeling her heart start to pick up speed.

  “Yeah! He said he wants to preserve Gallant Lake. He said he was going to keep Gallant Lake safe from Uncle Nathan and Grandfather.”