The Leap of Your Life

by Tommy Baker

  Without a doubt, the number-one obstacle in the way of people’s long-term growth is their egos. Especially once they’ve experienced some type of success, egos begin to build forts and block people from advanced growth. It’s easy to drop your ego when nothing’s working and you’re in a crisis. But are you willing to drop it when you’ve experienced success, in order to reach a new level? The ego is responsible for:

  Thinking you have all the answers.

  Wanting to be right—always.

  Putting others down.

  Limiting your growth.

  Getting in the way of executing.

  I’m often asked how I’m able to come up with so much content on a daily and weekly basis, including two podcasts per week, two to three social posts with writing every day, two to three long-form blog posts every week, videos, audio recordings, emails, and more. I know, if you follow me, be careful. I always give people a disclaimer: you’re going to hear from me a lot.

  But here’s why: I’ve adopted a 360-degree model of learning in life. That means, I can receive a powerful download on a morning hike, bringing me a lesson I use that very same day in business. Or, I can hear a conversation at a random Starbucks, gain an insight—and use it on date night to strengthen my relationship.

  In other words, we don’t have to wait until we’re in a classroom or seminar setting to experience powerful lessons. If we take the approach of the student, then life is always offering up lessons to help guide us, to help take us a little deeper. Often, they’re the small things that can shift our entire day.

  The 360-degree model of learning is available to you every single day, too. In order to make it work, here’s what’s involved:

  Awareness. Remember, every experience in life is a chance to learn. Start with being aware and open to lessons everywhere you go.

  Identification. Something happened—an action, an experience, a result. Identify what it was.

  Extraction. What did you learn through the experience or action? Ensure you take a broad approach and package a lesson you could teach someone else.

  Teaching. Last, teach or declare what you’ve learned. Tell someone about your experience, do a video on social media, or simply declare it through a journal to yourself.

  Here’s an example of the model: you get an email you weren’t expecting, and it riles you up. The tone is passive-aggressive. You shoot back, and for a moment, it feels good to be right. A few hours pass, and you’ve had time to reflect. Now, you’re starting to regret it. You avoid checking your email because you don’t want to remind yourself.

  Awareness. Simply acknowledge the circumstance and be honest with yourself.

  Identification. Identify the email encounter and shooting back a response quickly is the experience.

  Extraction. There would be several lessons, but let’s choose one: when emotionally charged, creating time to reflect before being reactive is crucial.

  Teaching. The preceding lesson can now be taught in many areas of life and has deepened your perspective.

  This model is how you’re able to always be learning, growing, and deepening your experience. You don’t need to wait until you’re at the seminar; you already have a front seat in the greatest classroom out there.

  The Beautiful Dance

  During your evolution, you’re going to be in a constant tightrope, or dance. This paradox is the acknowledgment of gratitude of where you find yourself today while seeking a compelling vision.

  Even once you’ve taken your leap, you’ll evolve, grow, and be faced with another decision into the unknown. Don’t worry; because of your experience and courage, it does get easier with time. You’ll start feeling excited as the unknown approaches. You’ll feel grounded and ready when you make a new bold decision. You’d have developed a powerful level of self-trust.

  Often, I’ll work with people who find themselves stuck in the middle of appreciating where they are today, while they look into the seas of the compelling future. They have trouble navigating these worlds, and they believe they have to pick one thing or another. It’s not true; the beautiful dance is as it sounds; you’ll be living in both. Some push, some pull. There are moments of tension and moments of flow. Just like Lisa’s example: duality is a part of life, and we must embrace it.

  What’s the practical approach to this? Stop setting goals for an entire year, and instead use the 90-day model.

  One Year’s Worth of Results in 90 Days

  We often associate our personal evolution with big life events: moving to a new state, launching the new business, getting married, and so on. In goal setting, the conventional wisdom states to set one-year goals, and yet the system is flawed. One year, for you and me is way too far away. Besides, it diminishes how much we’re able to grow in that time and we tend to play small.

  The truth is, you and I are changing every day. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, we are never stagnant. You are not who you were six years ago. That’s obvious, right? But less obvious is you aren’t who you were three months ago, or even three weeks ago. We are in a persistent state of change, and we must create goals with this model in mind.

  Enter the 90-day model, where your intention is to create one year’s worth of results in 90 days. Here’s the truth: if you absolutely had to do it, you would. And nature’s universal law of the Pareto principle states time will fill a void. In other words, if you set a goal with one year to do it, it’ll take you a year. Take that same goal and compress it in 90 days, and you’ll make it happen. Peter Thiel, entrepreneur, co-founder of PayPal and serial investor, takes this to the extreme by asking:

  “How can you achieve your 10-year plan in the next 6 months?”1 The same principle he’s promoting is the one you’ll need along the way. Note: this isn’t about working harder but working smarter. Deleting the bullshit, the idle time, the nonessential. It’s about creating urgency and deadlines with 90-day targets, knowing if we do it right our lives can look radically different, and from that place, we can create new outcomes.

  For example, in writing this book, I could have requested one year of time from my publisher. Anyone who’s ever written a book knows it’s intense and consumes your every waking moment. And yet, would all that extra time make things better, and would the quality of work increase?

  I don’t believe so, and in most cases, time makes things worse. With an abundance of time, we are more likely to distract ourselves. We’re most likely to think too far ahead and get overwhelmed. We’re more likely to compare ourselves to someone else. And we’re much more likely to listen to the inner critic.

  In order to maximize your leap and accelerate the process, you’re going to set 90-day targets instead of yearly ones. This proximity leaves you no option but to dig in and do the work today. The beauty of the 90-day approach is simple: every day matters. And when every day matters, we tend to focus on the high priority work and not the stuff we talk ourselves into thinking they matter.

  Here are the steps to set your 90-day targets:

  Pick your “one” thing. With your leap, and vision in mind, pick one thing that, if it happened, you’d be thrilled and know your dreams are coming true.

  Set the outcome goal, and three process goals. For your one thing, you’re going to pick two to three nonnegotiable processes to bring it to life.

  Reverse engineer your first four weeks. With the first two steps complete, you’re going to map out the key action steps for your first four weeks. These are the significant actions that aren’t always urgent, but deeply important.

  Fill your time. When we fill our time with high priority actions, we don’t have space left for the mindless stuff. Block out the time during your week to focus on the preceding steps. No one can interrupt you, and you’re unavailable.

  Identify your daily action. To finish off, you’re going to identify the daily, non-negotiable action you’re committed to. This allows you to focus on what matters and discard the rest.

  Done right, you
too can experience one year’s worth of results in 90 days. This isn’t simply a marketing slogan; I’ve seen it firsthand. The amount of momentum you can create will supercharge your leap. Combining clarity, simplicity, and what truly matters, you’ll look back after 90 days and be amazed. The revenue target was hit. The new hire was made. The platform was launched. The side hustle was born. The career shift happened. The book was written. The project came to life.

  In other words, everything you could have put off another day, week, month, or year became the priority and you pulled the trigger.

  “You’ve Changed.”

  “You’ve changed.”

  An old friend had contacted me as our schedules aligned, and I was in my hometown for a few days. I hadn’t seen him in years, and we’d been very close growing up and past college.

  Part of me was resisting the entire deal, but I made it happen anyway. Good old nostalgia was pulling me in, but I committed, and I went in with the intention of connecting.

  I’m taking the next bite out of my taco, and that’s when he stopped me mid-sentence:

  “Dude . . . are you on something? Like some type of drug?” he asked.

  Silence came upon us, and I was utterly confused.

  “Uh . . . what? I’m excited, man. But the answer is yes: I’m high on life.”

  The rest of the conversation was awkward, we finished it off and said our peace. The reason he asked that question was because I’d just gone on an enthusiastic rant about life, business, and the pursuit of it all.

  And that’s when it hit me: we both changed. Not that my change was better than his, or vice versa; these are our unique lives and our paths. Often, we have trouble identifying the change we’re creating every single day, because it’s so close to us and most things seem to stay the same, until we experience what I did.

  When you live boldly, step into your power, and play full tilt, people who were once in your life, are going to leave. You may simply be on different paths. That’s okay. But often, when you grow powerfully, you will make other people uncomfortable. They will see you striving to live your best life. They will feel threatened. They’re threatened your relationship dynamic will change, or they’ll lose you. They feel triggered by your growth as a reflection of what they haven’t done. And much like animals, when people feel threatened, they attack.

  Whether it’s a passive-aggressive comment, making fun of your pursuits, or telling you why it’s never going to work out matters little. What matters is you don’t play down to their level, or worse; you don’t listen to them, and end up playing small.

  Each time I’ve grown, old relationships have faded only to be replaced by those with deeper alignment. People have snickered and made comments that could have brought me down. But here’s what I realized, and you will too: deep down, the people who try to bring you down are secretly inspired by what you’re creating. No, they may never admit it, but we all want to be better. This is a core human driver, and when we see someone else do it, it gives us hope. Even if that hope is masqueraded in fear and criticism, people still feel it. And once the high of attacking someone else has faded and they see you continuing to live your best life, they may choose to shift too.

  This is not about cutting people out of your life ruthlessly. It’s about understanding we have people in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. A reason could be a co-worker; the reason our relationship exists is purely work driven. A season is someone who is part of our lives when we live in proximity, but when we move away the relationship fizzles. Lastly, we have people who are there for a lifetime: our family, intimate relationships, and those who are meant to be with us until our last days.

  By taking your leap, you become the beacon. Others will see your courage and be inspired—sometimes secretly. Others will judge you and do anything to bring you down. This is what you signed up for, and remember, it’s not about you. The greatest tragedy of transformation is letting one or two people bring us down. And if we’ve solidified our vision and purpose, there’s no chance in hell a few people can bring us down.

  Next time someone tells you you’ve changed, all you have to say is: “I know. Thank you so much for recognizing it.”

  Find Your People

  Your tribe is waiting. No matter how out of touch you feel with the people around you, there is an entire tribe of those willing to do anything to support your leap and dreams. But they won’t discover you at Starbucks; you must find them.

  There is no such thing as self-made. Behind every “self-made” success is an endless list of a supporting cast, mentors, relationships, and a tribe who was there. They were there when things didn’t seem to work. They were there when doubt crept in. They were there when you wanted to give up.

  Right now, your tribe is waiting. Earlier we mentioned the tribe you’re serving, but this is different; this is your crew. And in order to fully thrive in this brave new world, you’ll need to find your people.

  But how?

  Simple! You go to the places where they’re hanging out. You get uncomfortable and put yourself in rooms where you feel like you may not belong. You find unique ways to truly connect and deliver value before asking for anything. In other words, you care enough to go just a little above and beyond.

  Those around you will determine your long-term success. They become your backbone, and you trust them in great times, and bad. They provide meaningful and potentially life-changing feedback. They challenge you to think and dream bigger. They are your partners in crime on your path to make your dreams come true.

  Now let’s deep dive into how you’re going to do this.

  Step 1: Find them. You won’t find your crew on the couch. You must insert yourself in the places where they hang out—coffee shops, co-working spaces, events, activities and environments where they’re likely to be. In person always beats virtual, but use both when starting out and go all in.

  Step 2: Start with one. When looking to level up the people around you, it can feel daunting. Don’t let it; and instead pick one person. Each person will be a brick, and one by one you’ll start creating a powerful foundation.

  Step 3: Deliver value and be different. Next, it’s up to you to deliver value and be different. What this looks like is up to you but go out of your way in an (authentic) way to show them you care. You can always help someone, no matter how big they are. What’s crucial is you take the time and energy to understand how you can help.

  Step 4: Play the long game. Often, people try to do the these things within a span of three days and then label the person when it doesn’t work. Remember: people are busy and dealing with their own issues. Relationships won’t work playing the short game, since everyone can feel this from a mile away. Start small, simple and detach from any outcome. Each time you insert someone new into your circle, there’s a little less space for those on the fringes.

  Do this long enough, and you’ll wake up one day with a badass tribe who will go out of their way to open doors you could have never done alone.

  What Not to Do (and What to Do)

  There are ways to grab people’s attention in a powerful way as well as easy ways to get ignored. It’s up to your intent, care, and delivery.

  Here’s what not to say:

  Hey, do you have some time to connect?

  I’d love to pick your brain sometime. What works for you?

  I would love to grab coffee. Can you do next Tuesday?

  Facepalm.People will avoid this at all costs, and no one wants their brain picked. Instead, use something like this:

  Hey [NAME]: I love your work, specifically (insert something short that represents you dug deep into them, above and beyond what most people do).

  I noticed you (insert a problem or issue you’ve noticed) and I thought this may be of value to you: (insert solution).

  Anyway, I know you’re busy, so I wanted to keep this brief.

  Rock on,

  Tommy

  P.S. I know it’s the least I co
uld do, but I left you a review (or comment, share, attach screenshot).

  Before sending any communication, ensure that:

  It doesn’t make them do more work.

  You’re not asking for anything in return.

  You detach from any expectation of receiving anything.

  You get to the point quickly (this is hard for me, too).

  I’ve used the this tactic to connect with extremely influential people, and it works. Why? Because it’s not a 19-page thesis on why they should give you their time and attention. Instead, it’s straight to the point without asking anything in return.

  You, Inc.

  Your evolution will be a fingerprint-specific process no one has ever experienced, so enjoy the ride. Furthermore, remind yourself of the courage you’ve shown by being here and committing to yourself, and your life. On your path, many will be inspired, and some will look to bring you down. It’s part of the game called life. Don’t forget to acknowledge your growth along the way and remember there are people you will inspire that you’ll never know about.

  Keep going, and don’t ever quit.

  Chapter 15 Key Takeaways

  Breakthrough is the start, not the end. What happens next is everything: the way you integrate the breakthrough and start living it every single day. Let it become who you are.

  Leaders are learners. Take a seat in the front of the classroom of life and be willing to drop the ego, especially once you’re experiencing results.

  Find (or create) your tribe. Rolling solo isn’t a plan for success. No one is self-made; go out and find your tribe to support your leap.