by Mj Fields
Jade and Tommy come up.
Tommy shakes Ben’s hand. “You’re awesome, man.”
“Thanks. I think she made me look good.” He wraps an arm around my shoulders.
“Tessa, come to the bathroom with me? Be right back, Tommy.” Jade kisses him and pulls me behind her.
Once in the bathroom, she immediately asks, “You okay?”
“Actually, I’m … I’m great. He and I would have never worked out, Jade. I just hope he remembers some of the good times and lets himself open up to someone someday. I’ll always love him in a way. I want him to be as happy as I know I’m going to be. And I’m glad, actually, that he’s—”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” she cuts me off.
“I am. I mean, thank God it’s the brunette and not Sadi.”
Jade’s voice cracks. “I’m so happy for you. I just hope that he and Tommy get along.”
“Are you kidding me? They’re going to get along great. They are a lot alike. Well, I think so, anyway. They both actually seem to enjoy being happy and can actually show people they care.”
“I love you, Tessa.”
“I love you, Jade. Now let’s go get our guys.”
We walk out and up on Tommy and Ben, who are laughing as they seem to be making plans.
“What are you two doing?” I ask.
“We’re going to find a way to take you girls away for a couple days, over spring break. Does that sound okay to you, pretty girl?” Tommy asks Jade.
I look at Ben, and he nods. “That sounds great.”
Jade and I hug as they exchange numbers and say goodbye.
“Hey, can we all go out for breakfast in the morning? Tess expects me to slave over the stove in the morning, and I kind of think I’m going to be a bit tired.” He laughs as I elbow him.
“Sounds like a plan. Ten sound good?” Tommy asks.
“I don’t know. How long you plan to keep me up tonight?” Ben asks.
Face heating up, I look away and tell Tommy, “Ten is good.”
“Perfect. Sounds like we have the same plan tonight.” Tommy winks.
As they walk away, Tommy looks back at me and mouths, “Love you.”
“Love you,” I say back.
Ben gives my shoulder a squeeze and chuckles. “I think I love him, too.”
“How could anyone not?”
After we help the band load up the van, we say goodbye to the guys, all in their mid to late twenties, all from near Ben’s hometown. Holding hands, we walk through the parking lot to Ben’s truck. He opens the door for me, and I climb in.
My heart is beating faster when he hops in, grabs the back of my head, and kisses me, tongue exploring mine slowly. Even slower yet, he pulls away.
“Tess, damn, it’s going to be a long ride.”
I close my eyes and try to calm my breaths, and it is not easy. “Let’s go, please.”
Ben buckles his seat belt, and I buckle mine before pulling out onto the four-lane city street. He turns on the radio and sits back into the leather of his seat. I turn in mine and stare at his profile. I know that Ben is going to be one of those men who, at fifty, looks thirty, and will still be hot as hell.
He glances over at me and, in a thick voice, says, “Tess, please don’t look at me like that right now.”
“Ben, please don’t tell me what to do.” My voice is breathless.
“I never would, Tess.”
“Do you promise me you’ll never tell me what to do?”
“Unless you ask for my opinion, guidance, or advice, I’ll try me damnedest.”
“Good. Remember that.”
I need this. He needs this. We need this, I think as I lift the console, unbuckle my seat belt, reach over, and begin to unbuckle his jeans, knowing damn well that this is not something that I’ll allow myself to chalk up to as a mistake.
“Booty camp, Tess. Not thinking now is the best time to …” Ben’s strained voice gives way to a groan as my hand slips inside his jeans. “Fuuuuck.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” I wrap my hand around his dick, heavy and … growing heavier until it’s completely hard and, well, then my hand is almost around it. I begin stroking him up and down slowly.
“Oh shit, Tess, not a good time.” He white-knuckles the steering wheel.
I love this, the way his broad chest rises and falls, the way he’s saying not yet in his words but clearly making no attempt to stop me. He’s actually pushing into my touch.
Suffice to say, I have a handle on the situation.
I lean down, and he hisses. I pull him out of his jeans and smile. “Hey, look, there’s Big Ben.”
He lets out a deep chuckle until I kiss the tip.
“Uh … Tess, stop now,” he groans.
“You promised.” I continue to stroke him slowly, curiously, and then I wrap my lips around him.
“Hey, girl, we’re getting pulled over by the fucking police. You may want to rethink that,” Ben hisses.
I open my eyes and see flashing lights reflecting all around us.
“No way.” I straighten up.
Ben makes quick work of tucking himself in and zipping up, and he’s doing so while laughing a low, throaty chuckle.
“Not funny,” I whisper, looking down.
A tap at the window comes, and I am fucking mortified.
Ben rolls down the window, and the officer says, “License and registration, please.”
Ben flips down the console, opening it. Then he pulls out his wallet and his paperwork. “Here you go, sir.”
“Do you know why I pulled you over?”
“Um, yeah?” Ben laughs. “Sorry, sir. No disrespect, but I got nothing.”
“Ben,” I hiss and shoot him a dirty look.
“Miss, do you know why?”
I want to throw myself out of the truck and slither into the sewer. “No, sir.”
He tosses a follow-up question, “Did you have your seat belt on when I pulled you over?”
Ben chuckles.
“Ben, please.” I smash my eyes shut.
“No, sir, I didn’t.”
“Could you tell me why?”
Ben can no longer hold it in. He busts up laughing.
“I do not like you,” I snarl.
“Sir, I told her not to.”
Oh. My. God.
“Holy shit. Really??” I sit back and cover my face.
Ben continues, “She was, uh … tired. Wanted to, uh … rest her head.”
The office doesn’t say shit, so Ben, he keeps on going. “We’re an hour away from home.”
“Couldn’t wait to rest her head”—the officer pauses—“until you got home?”
“My God,” I whisper.
“Miss, do you have ID?”
“Yes.” I grab my ID from my pocket and hand it to Ben, who hands it to the officer.
“Huh,” he says. “Tessa Ross, I know your father.”
“Of course you do,” I sigh.
The officer laughs. “Joking. Okay, you’re both eighteen. Have you two been drinking or doing drugs?”
“No, sir,” I answer. Oh God, please don’t make me pee in a cup.
“All right then. Miss, you need to buckle up and stay that way.” He points at me.
“Yes, sir.”
“And you, son, drive home safely and have a great night.” The officer gives him a fist bump.
A. Fist. Bump.
When he pulls around us and leaves, Ben starts laughing hysterically.
“Did that actually just happen?” I ask, pulling my knees to my chest and hiding my face.
Ben laughs harder. “I think it did … Rethinking that rule, now I have to say I will sometimes tell you what to do.”
Finally, I can’t help but laugh, and then I look at Ben. “So, how was I doing?”
Ben grabs my hand. “Amazing.”
“I want to do it again.”
“I want you to, too, Tess,” he says. “But I think we should head his warning.”
/> “You mean heed,” I correct him.
“Yeah, sure.” He laughs as he pulls away from the curb, both of us now laughing.
Chapter Twenty
I am sure that the only person on the planet who I would not have vowed to avoid until the end of time after that embarrassment would be the guy sitting beside me now, holding my hand.
Ben Sawyer.
He looks over at me and winks. I squeeze his hand, sigh, lean back, and close my eyes.
When I hear sirens, my eyes pop open, and he chuckles.
“Not funny,” I huff.
“Do not kid yourself. That will always be hilarious.”
More sirens follow the last, and Ben pulls over onto the shoulder the road as an ambulance—no, scratch that; a few ambulances—fly by.
“That’s not good,” he says, eyes narrowed as he looks in the rearview.
I get a chill. “Not good at all.”
Once they have passed, he pulls back onto the road and heads toward home.
Two stop lights later, and I see the accident ahead.
“Fuck,” Ben grumbles.
“We might have to detour.” I say as my stomach twists.
“Yeah. I think there’s a cop directing up at the next light.” His voice is uneasy.
We pull ahead, and as the SUV ahead of us turns, I see … I see … I see …
“Tess?” Ben says as I begin to panic.
I throw off my seat belt and attempt to open my door. He pulls me back and hits the gas.
My body shaking, my voice, too, I yell for him to stop.
He pulls up on the sidewalk, and I throw the door open. “Oh God, oh God, oh God. Ben, I think that’s Tommy’s—”
“Hold on, Tess.”
“You kids can’t park there,” a cop, or someone, yells as I try to run toward the accident—a bus and …
“No, no, no, no, no!”
“Tess,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around me and lifting me up so my feet just can’t take me to Jade.
The officer who just pulled us over stands in front of me, blocking my view, but before he does, I see it. I see red.
“You two need to stay back,” he cautions.
“Jade!” I scream. “Jade!”
“Tess,” Ben says as I fight to get out of his arms.
“It’s Jade! Her purse. The red bag. It has everything inside it. She’d never leave it. Pictures of her brothers, makeup, everything!” I continue fighting as Ben brings me down, down, down until I’m on the sidewalk, his arms and legs caging me in. “Ben! No!”
“Officer, we think that’s Tessa’s cousin. She was with three guys. Could you please tell us if Jade Ross was in that vehicle?”
“Give me a minute.”
When he walks away, I see it again and point. “See? It’s her, Ben. It’s Jade and—”
“Tess, he’ll come back and let us know, okay?” The way he says it, the pain in his voice, causes me to turn around. His face … his face is pained.
“I can’t lose her. I can’t. I can’t lose any of them, Ben. I can’t!”
“I know.” He holds me tighter, with just one arm. With his other hand, he pushes my hair from my face.
“He said a minute! Where is he, Ben?” I grip his shirt, wanting to rip something. “Where is he?”
He pulls my head into his chest and holds me still.
I look up when Ben’s body turns to stone and see the officer squatting down.
“Jade is okay. She’s on her way to the hospital.”
I sob into Ben’s shirt, and he says soothingly, “She’s going to be okay, Tess.”
Then he asks, “Sir, what about the other three?”
I look up at him, and my guts wrenches. “Two of them are in rough shape, son.”
“What hospital?” Ben asks, standing and pulling me up with him.
“University Hospital,” he answers. Then he looks at me. “It’s not good. You’re going to need to keep it together, or you need to stay out of there.”
Tears flood my vision as I nod. Then I wipe them away, look past him, and ask, “What happened?”
“Witnesses say that the bus ran a red light and hit the vehicle. Right now, we’re pretty sure it’s no fault of the driver of the car your cousin was in.”
Anger boils inside me when I see a man with the cops, doing what looks like a sobriety test. “Is the bus driver drunk?”
“We aren’t sure yet,” he whispers. “Do you need a ride to the hospital?”
“No, I’ll get her there. Thank you … for everything.” Ben moves us back to his truck.
The door still open, Ben helps me inside. Then he runs to get in the driver’s side.
Curled into myself, I feel Ben brush his hand over mine. I look up as he pulls my seat belt in front of me and buckles me.
“I need to call Mom. She takes extra shifts out here sometimes when she—”
“Glove box. Family travel cell. Use it,” he says as he pulls back out onto the road.
She answers immediately.
“Mom, are you working at University tonight?”
“Oh, Tessa,” she says softly.
The way she says it, I know she’s there. “Is Jade there, Mom? Is she okay?”
“She’s okay.”
“I’m on my way.” My voice breaks. “I’m with Ben.”
“I’d like to speak to him, please.”
Hands trembling, I hand him the phone over then wrap my arms around myself, trying to hold myself together, hoping I don’t shatter into a million pieces.
“Mrs. Ross, this is Ben.” Pause. “Yes.” He stiffens. “I will.” Pause. “Tess, your mom wants to know if you have your pager and your little phone book.”
I bat away tears and grab my purse to dig through it. “Yes, but I’ve never used the pager. I don’t know how.”
“I’ll help her figure it out. But, Mrs. Ross, I have a phone.” He rattles off the number then they say goodbye.
His face blank, he pushes the gas.
My teeth begin to chatter, and he turns up the heat then takes my hand. He speeds up a bit, yet it feels like forever before we pull into the emergency parking lot.
As soon as he parks, I throw open the door. He follows suit, and then, when we get close to the automatic doors, he grabs me.
“Ben, Jade needs me.”
“I know she does, but we need to have a conversation.”
As he pulls me to a nearby bench, I ask the question that has been on the tip of my tongue since it was confirmed that it was them. “Did someone die?”
“We need to talk for a minute, Tess.”
I shake my head. “I want to go in now.”
“You need to be prepared, Tess.” He sits, and I have no choice but to do so, also. My legs feel so, so weak.
He turns fully toward me and takes both my hands. His eyes are glassy, and my lips begin to tremble.
“Jade and Ryan suffered minor injuries. They’re going to be hurting, but they’ll be okay.” He takes a deep breath. “Lucas has a large cut on the side of his head and possibly a few broken ribs. He’s in x-ray now.”
I close my eyes, and tears spill out.
“You with me, Tess?”
“What about Tommy?” My voice cracks
He pulls me into his chest. “Tess, Tommy didn’t—”
“Oh God.”
And then I can’t breathe. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. Breathe, Jade, whispers in my head, a phrase I’ve said a million times. I open my mouth and pull in air then shake my head.
“No, Ben, that’s wrong.”
He looks at me, and I can tell he’s not okay, not okay at all. Then he clears his throat and whispers, “It was instant. He didn’t suffer.”
My entire body tenses and pain resonates everywhere.
Ben strokes my hair. “Tess, Jade doesn’t know yet. None of them do.”
“Oh God,” I sob quietly.
“You’re going to have to be very strong right now, and
if you can’t, we need to sit out here until you’re able. None of their parents are here yet, and they are not telling them until the parents—Tommy’s parents—are informed. Do you understand?”
I nod.
“Your mom’s doing what she can for Jade, but Jade’s asking a lot of—”
“She needs me.” I pull my sleeves up and wipe my face. “Jade needs me.”
He nods as he helps wipe my face clean. “I need to hear it, Tess. I need to hear you can do this before you go in. And honey, if you’re not ready yet, I completely understand. We can wait.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“If you feel yourself falling apart, you need to walk away, okay? If you’re not comfortable with me being here, I’ll wait out here and—”
I shake my head. “No. Let’s go.”
He pulls my hand up and kisses it. “Okay.”
“I don’t want you to go anywhere, Ben, ever.” And I mean it.
He stands and pulls me up, holding my hips until the dizzy feeling starts to go away. Then, hand in hand, we walk in.
When the automatic doors close behind me, the scent overtakes me, and I cover my mouth. Ben rushes us to the bathroom—thankfully just a few feet away—and holds my hair as I throw up.
Once finished, he wets paper towels so I can clean myself up then pulls a pack of gum from his pocket and hands me three sticks.
“Ben, I am so sorry.”
“Tess, don’t be sorry.” He starts going through my purse and pulls out a scrunchy. Then he steps behind me and pulls my hair into a ponytail. “Okay.” He walks around in front of me and kisses me softly, even after I just threw up. “You okay now?”
“Yes, thank you, Ben.” I hug him. “Thank you.”
He squeezes me back, and then we walk out.
He stops at a vending machine and throws a few quarters in, hitting the buttons for a bottle of ginger ale. Opening it, he hands it to me. I take a few sips then hand it back. He retakes my hand, and we walk to the desk under the big red letters that spell out “Emergency.”
Mom walks out from the back, around the desk, and hugs me while asking Ben, “How is she?”
“She knows, and she’s doing better now. If you’re going to be with her, I’ll wait here until she needs me.”
“Thank you, Benjamin.” Mom pulls him into our hug. “Thank you so much.”
Stepping way, he tells me, “I’m right out here.”