by Mj Fields
“Yes, it was actually. Almost unbelievably so.”
“So I’m taking the day off,” Dad announces at the perfect time.
Audrianna looks shocked, and I’m not gonna lie, I am, too.
“We’re all going to go see the Yankees play tonight, but before that, I thought we could do a little shopping and a show?”
My sisters jump up and down, clapping.
“So, let’s get ready and make the best of an unproductive day.” He smiles.
Audri rolls her eyes, and I can’t help but do the same. Tessa takes off up the stairs.
I head up, too, and when I walk in my room, I hear my shower running.
I head to the bathroom and open the door.
“Nope. No way. Get out.” When she tries to shut the door, I stop it.
“Can we shower together?”
“No.” Her face turns red.
“Baby, I’ll stay north of the border.”
She glares at me.
“Okay, sorry, baby. Privacy, right?” I ask as she shuts the damn door.
I know women call their period the curse, but let’s be honest here, it hurts men just as much.
When she finally finishes and walks out, I decide it’s best not to mention that epiphany.
“Sorry, Tessa.” I give her a kiss and, thankfully, she’s receptive.
“Well, thanks, but it’s not your fault.” Kissing me back, she even gives me a little taste of her minty fresh tongue.
I’m really glad I didn’t say anything.
“Tessa, will you ride with us?” Alexandra asks as we all get outside.
“Of course.”
“Ditching me again, Tessa?” Lucas asks
“I’m of no use to you right now,” I remind him
“So not true.” He runs his finger across my lower lip.
In the car, sitting between the girls, I listen to them talk about going to their favorite doll store and how they have stories that go along with them.
“Hysterical,” Alexandra says proudly.
She means historical, but it’s completely adorable.
They go on to tell me about the tea parties and photo shoots, and that you could get their doll’s hair done.
“You don’t have a doll?” Ally asks.
“No, I don’t. I’m kind of an outdoor person. You’re so lucky to have such beautiful things. You better make sure you are super good for your parents.”
“Were you bad, and that’s why you didn’t get one?” Alexandra asks.
“No, I just come from a much different kingdom.”
“What’s it like?” Ally asks.
“Well, I live on a farm, and we work a lot.”
“Well, what do you play with?” Alexandria asks.
“When I was your age, I played with lots of things. With my sisters, I played Barbie’s. With my dad, I learned to drive tractors and, well, shoot a bow. With my mom, it was always fun to bake and play in the garden, in the dirt with worms.” I tickle them, and they laugh.
“Well, now that you’re older, what do you play with?” Ally asks.
“I love music and theater. I help at our church with the younger kids sometimes.” Which I have been neglecting. “I still love all the things I did when I was little, but it’s just much busier now.”
“Do you like to play with Lucas?” Alexandra asks.
“Well, sure I do.” I see Landon smirk in the rearview mirror, and Audrianna squeezes his hand and shakes her head.
“What do you play with him?” Ally asks.
“We talk a lot. Mostly about our families and friends. He talks about you two all the time. So happy he gets to see you two a lot more now. We rode snowmobiles once, and we go to each other’s games and sometimes out to dinner. We play with Chewy and hang out with our friends a lot.”
“But mostly talk?” Alexandra asks.
“Yes, actually.” I laugh.
“You should get a doll,” Ally states.
Once in the City, we pull into the parking garage and park. Landon opens the door to get Ally out, and Audrianna does the same for Alexandra.
“Come on, princess,” Landon says, holding the door for me.
Lucas pulls in beside us and smiles when he sees his father holding the door for me.
“Tessa, have you ever seen The Phantom of the Opera?” Landon asks.
“Nope. This is actually my first time in the City.”
“Well, it starts in an hour, and the box office is holding tickets for the six of you,” he tells me. “We are going to take the girls to an extremely overpriced”—Audrianna nudges him and raises her eyebrow—“but worth every penny doll store. After that, we will meet and have an early dinner, and do a little touring, and then it’s off to watch the boys win one at home.”
“Thank you, Landon.”
“We missed your show. Least we could do. Go have fun.”
I swear I could cry, but all I can say is, “Thank you.”
The show was amazing.
“You’re going to be up there someday,” Lucas says, kissing me as we walk out of the Majestic Theatre.
I laugh. “I don’t think so. That doesn’t fit into my future plans.”
“Why not?”
“I’m a farm girl, remember?” I joke. “I like the much simpler things in life.”
“Wouldn’t want you any other way.”
We do some shopping and have dinner in Times Square at Juniors. The girls play with their new dolls the entire time. Ally got the one that lived with her uncle and aunt in New York City, and Alexandra got her best friend, the one who had two sisters and was orphaned. They were beautiful dolls, and the books were based on historical events.
The baseball game, well, that was amazing, too. Our seats were directly behind the Yankees’ dugout. The Yankees won the game by four runs. Alex and I bought hats and tee-shirts for our siblings and parents. I also snuck in a onesie for Jade’s baby.
They day felt like a fairy tale, and thankfully, Jade brought her Polaroid to memorialize the entire day.
By the time we returned to Jersey, I was exhausted and crampy. And the whole way back, I wondered if Jade was okay, because if I was whipped, she was doubly.
Once out of the vehicle, I hurried to her. “You okay, Jade?”
“Just tired, but I had so much fun today.” She smiles. “Tommy would have loved it.”
“He’d also love that you had fun.” Lucas gave her a squeeze.
“Yeah, I know he would.” She smiles as she looks down at her belly and rubs it. “We know.”
Lucas and I help carry in all the bags. Audrianna makes the girls take baths after being in the City all day. “Germs everywhere,” she said. Lucas finishes reading the book from the car that I began, and they fall fast asleep as soon as they know everything is going to be okay with the orphaned girls.
When we sneak out, Jade walks out of the bathroom with her toothbrush. “I think we should let Phoebe and Alex sleep in the girls’ room tonight. I can crash in with Ryan. You can, too, if you’re not going to, you know.”
“She has her period,” Lucas tells her.
I elbow him, and she laughs.
After saying goodnight, I follow Lucas into his room, and he smiles. “You’re going to stay with me all night?”
“Is that okay, even though we can’t … well, you know?”
“Baby, there are other things we could do.” He pushes his hand down the back of my shorts.
“Oh, hell no.”
He laughs. “Someday, you’ll be begging for it.”
“Let’s get one thing—well, two things straight—not there ever! And not during this week, got it?”
He smiles, completely focused on my mouth. “That’s fine.”
I push him away, wanting two things; one is to not want the second so badly—him.
He laughs. “I am going to take a shower. You know, germs everywhere.”
“Can I join you?”
“Whenever you want.” He winks a
s he walks into the bathroom, leaving the door wide open.
After locking his bedroom door, I dig in my bag for the swimsuit that I bought, thinking we would be in the hot tub. I put in a freaking Tampon, slide on the bottoms, and walk into the bathroom.
Lucas’s head is tipped back under the shower as I stand there, watching the water cascade down the muscles covering his body like water over the rocks at the falls. Mesmerizing and magnificent.
“Baby, you gonna stand there eye-fucking the goods or get in here?”
I walk over and step in.
Before he can touch me, I’m on my knees, grinning up at him.
“You are so awesome.” His deep, lust-filled voice cracks as I take him in my mouth.
In the morning, Jade is up with pen and paper, writing in the kitchen.
“Good morning.” I give her a peck on the cheek.
“Good morning. How was last night?” Jade grins.
Landon walks in and laughs. “She has her period, so it was probably uneventful.”
I instinctively reach out and smack him in the stomach as he walks by.
Jesus, take me now. I cringe.
“Oh God, I’m sorry.”
Landon laughs loudly. “No, I completely deserved that.” He wraps his arm tightly around me, pinning my arms to my sides, and whispers, “It’s the hormones, right?”
Jade and I both laugh out loud, and then I tell him, “You think it’s funny now. You’re in for a rude awakening when you have three in the house, cycling all at the same time, and you have to deal with it.”
“I am not looking forward to that. But that tree fort out there can be modified.” Landon smiles. “Tessa Ross, I like you.”
Lucas walks in the kitchen and looks at us questioningly. “Everything good?”
“Well, I was just telling Tessa she’d better hurry up and cook me breakfast.” Landon grins.
“And I was just going to teach your dad how to actually make breakfast,” I shoot back.
“What do you mean? I made it yesterday,” he says.
“Yeah … okay.”
When Audrianna and the girls walk in, she laughs. “Wow, you’re actually cooking breakfast today?”
“What do you mean?” Landon asks.
“Did you think I didn’t know?”
Landon points the spatula at her. “Hush, wife.”
“Busted.” Jade giggles.
I walk over and hug the girls, who are dressed in outfits that match, “You four look amazing.”
They look at Lucas. “Do we look like princesses?”
“Absolutely.”
They say their goodbyes, since we’re leaving Jersey soon. I hug the girls, Audri, and even Landon.
“Okay, no skipping today,” Audrianna says, grabbing the girls’ breakfast to-go.
Lucas walks them out.
“Tessa, will you read this and tell me what you think?” Jade hands me a letter. “I’m reading this Friday at sentencing.”
Sentencing?
“Yeah, of course.” I sit and read the four-page letter that she’s written to the judge, who is to determine the sentencing for the bus driver who drove drunk and hit them, killing Tommy, with tears rolling down my face.
Lucas whispers, “What’s up?”
I glance over and see he’s not asking me; he’s asking Jade.
“He can’t walk for this, Lucas, he just can’t.” Jade starts to cry as I finish, while Lucas hugs her, his own eyes filled with unshed tears.
I finish the letter and look at Jade, who is hugging Lucas. “It’s perfect, Jade,” I whisper, squeezing her shoulder.
Ryan, Phoebe, and Alex walk in, their bags packed and in hand.
“Is everything all right?” Ryan asks, looking at Jade.
Jade shakes her head, stands up and walks toward him. He hugs her, and she wraps her arms around him and cries.
“Jade, you and this little one are going to get through all this, I promise,” Ryan tells her.
The way he holds her, and the way he says it with fierce determination, does not go unnoticed.
Lucas walks over and kisses my forehead, acting like nothing happening is actually happening, and a chill runs down my spine. “Good morning, baby.”
“Good morning, Lucas.”
When we get to the state line, Lucas pulls over and asks me to drive. Then he asks Jade if he can read the letter.
I look at him often, checking to see if he’s all right. When I reach out for his hand, he simply pats mine and says, “Both hands on the wheel, baby.”
The rest of our ride home is silent, and Lucas stares out the window for two hours.
When I pull into the Brooks’ driveway to drop Ryan and Phoebe off, they thank him, and he simply says, “Was a good time. Thanks for coming.”
Chapter Thirty Five
As soon as we pull in and I put the SUV in park, Lucas jumps out, hurries around back, and starts grabbing our things.
When everything is inside, I wrap my arms around him, and he immediately tenses. I don’t loosen my arms until he relaxes a bit, but something makes me still hang on to him.
After he kisses the top of my head, I look up at him. His eyes are guarded. I start to ask him if he’s okay, but he cuts me off before one word can come out.
“I’m going to take off for a while.”
I squeeze him a bit tighter. “Do you want me to come?”
“No, I’m just going to do some stuff around my place.”
“Well, I can help,” I offer.
“No, Tessa. I’ll call you later, okay?” He steps away, turns, and walks out the door before I can answer the way I want—no, no, it’s not okay.
I watch him pull out, turn onto the road, and head down the hill, and then I watch even long after he’s gone. I watch so long that, when the phone rings and I answer it, it’s him.
“Home safe and sound. Love you.”
“Sorry if I was pushy, Lucas, but I love you and I’m here.”
Let me in.
“I just need a few minutes, you know. Big day tomorrow.”
Let me in.
“Just wish you’d let me help.”
“None needed,” he says stiffly. “See you later. Love you.” And then he hangs up.
Let me in.
I walk inside and get a drink of water, and I hear a loud sigh from the living room. Jade.
I swallow back my fear and head in to be with her.
She looks up at me. “Want to watch a movie?”
“I would love to.” I flop down beside her.
The next day, as I’m making breakfast while Jade uses the bathroom, Lucas pulls in.
I watch as he steps out wearing a suit. As gorgeous as he looks, and he looks insanely so, I don’t like Lucas Links in a suit, because every time he’s in one has turned out to not be associated with a good memory.
I’m prepared for an arctic cold front to push in with him after the way we left things yesterday, and the fact he didn’t call at all last night after the home safe and sound call, but that’s not what I get.
He stalks to me, wraps his hand around the back of my head, and kisses me. “God, Tessa, it’s good to see you. I missed you.” Then he kisses me harder as he runs his hand slowly down my back.
When his warm lips leave mine, I ask, “Where were you? I was worried about you.”
“I was home, Tessa.”
“Were you alone?” I whisper.
“Of course I was.” Lucas scowls and steps back, as if slapped.
Not wanting him to feel that way, especially not today, I set to making him a plate. “Sorry.”
He doesn’t say a thing.
When I’m done scooping up eggs, buttering toast, and plucking bacon out of the frying pan, I kiss his cheek and set the plate on the table. “Eat, Lucas. I’m going to shower.”
After my shower and getting ready, in record time, I walk out to the kitchen and see Jade reading her letter again.
I rub her back, kiss the top of her
head, and decide to do the dishes. While I do them, Lucas sits next to Jade and hands her something—a letter, his letter to the judge, I’m sure.
I watch Ryan pull in and look at the clock, quietly telling them, “I think it’s time to go.”
Jade stands and hugs Lucas. “That was beautiful.”
He looks me up and down then back up from my navy-blue flats to my navy dress then to my hair that I blew out straight before saying dismissively, “You don’t have to be there.”
My chest tightens. “I’m sorry, I just assumed.”
Jade looks at Lucas, eyes pleading. “I think she should.”
“I don’t have to.” I try to assure her that she’ll be okay as Ryan walks in.
Lucas grabs my hand. “Let’s go.”
“Lucas, can I read the letter?” I whisper as he pulls me out behind him.
He stiffens. “How about you drive?”
The drive to the courthouse in Syracuse is quiet much like the drive back from Jersey. I fight back the feeling that he doesn’t want me here, knowing it’s a stupid insecurity. I fight back the wonder as to why he didn’t even mention court. Then again, neither did Jade or Ryan.
The reality is that I wasn’t with them. I wasn’t there and couldn’t even imagine how horrific the experience was. I haven’t a clue as to what they are experiencing, but I know it’s something they’ll never forget. My dreams terrorized me, and I got to wake up knowing it was just a dream. Theirs is a constant nightmare, a reality. I simply came upon the accident and lost it.
Today isn’t about me, or me and Lucas; it is about that moment that took a life, one they experienced.
As rational as that thought is, I can’t help but shake the niggling feeling that things between Lucas and I are about to change irrevocably. Then again, I’m sure it’s just an insecurity.
I pull into the lot and start to park when Lucas all but snaps, “There’s a spot closer, Tessa. Jade shouldn’t have to walk all that way.”
I turn the wheel and pull up in front of the courthouse steps. “You guys can get out here. I’ll park and meet you in there.”
When I walk in, I see the three of them sitting with Tommy’s family and decide to give them this, sliding into a wooden bench in the back.