by Mj Fields
I force out, “Forgiven.” Truth be told, he deserves to be. Tommy would want that.
“Tess, she’s gone, and so are the girls. What did you say about them? The group that’s molesting your boyfriend’s ass with their eyes?” He laughs, and I scrub a hand over my face, hiding my smile. “They won’t be back; I had a car take them home.”
“What happened, Benjamin?” his mother asks.
“Lauren and her girls acted like freaks. Tess told me she thought it was on purpose. I didn’t think she was like that until Tess had to dodge the next three. I should have seen it. I’m sorry.”
“If the world would just realize how right I am all the time it would all be perfect.” Tessa giggles then snorts.
I swing my eyes to her and ask, “You okay?”
“Tired, Lucas.” She yawns then starts giggling again.
“Okay, let’s go outside and sit.”
“Mom, did you give her something for the pain?” Ben asks.
“Hold on. Let me check.” She picks up the bottle and pulls down her readers. Her eyes widen. “Tylenol with codeine! I grabbed the wrong bottle. I am so sorry. No wonder she’s tired.”
“Mom …” Ben groans.
“Let me go explain myself to John,” she says.
“Ben, be nice to your mom. It doesn’t even hurt a little now. Bet I could dance.” She yawns again. “If I wasn’t tired.” She then giggles again.
“All right, baby. Let’s go.” I grab her up and take her outside to find Mrs. Sawyer and John.
“Is she okay?” John asks when we get to him.
“Yes.”
“You want to take her home or stick around here?” John asks.
“I can wait. Although, if we leave now, we’ll be home before midnight.”
“All right, I’d like to stick around for a few more hours. Can you stay with her till I get home?”
“Sure,” I say then turn to leave.
“No-hands policy at my house, Lucas, remember?” John adds.
I nod. “I do.”
“You two taking off?” Ben asks as John walks away.
“Yep, she won’t be any fun for a few hours, anyway.” I lift her arm and shake it with absolutely no response from her.
“Sorry, Lucas.”
“Not your fault. Trust me; I know all about crazy exes.”
“Yeah, I remember.” Ben nods. “Sorry about everything you all have been through. Been a rough year for you.”
“Can I ask you a question, Ben?”
“Shoot.” Ben leans against the picnic table.
“Do you want Tessa?”
“Not now.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, hoping this clown starts making sense.
“I don’t share. Do you?”
“I would never with her.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about. Take care of her. She’s an awesome girl. By the way, nice ring.” He pats my back.
The little one-winged angel pushes me to set shit right. “Ben, thank you for being there for her that night.”
“Links, are we’re having a moment?” Ben chuckles. Still a douchebag. “If she loves you like she says, I hope things work out for you. And your boy, Tommy, was a great guy. I’m sorry for your loss, man.” He then gives me a one-armed hug, and I give it back.
Tessa lifts her head from my shoulder and opens her glassy as hell eyes. “Aw … You two are hugging. I love you both. By the way, Ben”—she smiles—“I told Lucas everything. Do you know I am going to marry Lucas someday soon? Lucas, can we go to your house. I want to show you that outfit and the whip.” Then it’s lights out.
“Wow.” Ben chuckles.
“All right then, we’ll be leaving. Take care, man.”
When we pull up the farm, Tessa sits up.
“Hey, Lucas, we’re home?”
“Yes.”
I get out and walk around to help her.
She wobbles a little and whimpers. “My stomach’s not feeling so well.”
“You haven’t eaten all day. Let’s go get you something.”
Inside, I grab her some crackers and milk to coat her stomach.
She eats them slowly and takes a few sips of milk. “That’s a little better.”
I open the fridge and look around. There are always leftovers here. “I see some soup; want some?” I look back, and she’s got her head on the table.
“Uh-huh.” Then she says, “That’s going to piss me off.”
“What, baby?”
She points to her foot. “If my toenail falls off.”
“It might not. And, if it does, you cover it with a Band-Aid.” I pop two cups of minestrone soup in the microwave. After it’s warmed up, I grab a couple spoons and sit next to her.
“Thank you.”
Something about watching her eat stirs things up below. But nothing does that more than the depths of need I see in her eyes.
Girls want me, and even after this year, with the curtain that hid the ugly truth of who I am ripped down, exposing the bright red warning sign that I was sure followed me to all those who even look in my direction, one that has my entire life, they still did, stupid girls … But Tessa, the way she looks at me, even more so now, even after all the hell I’ve caused her, that disappointment after the realization that I’m not a fucking hero, it doesn’t lessen the desire burning in her eyes. Even better, it hasn’t muddied the love I see and feel coming from her.
“You want to go upstairs?” she asks as I stand to rinse our cups.
I dangle the appeal of virtue in front of her with a reminder, “No-hands policy, Tessa.”
She tears it to shreds with, “Then I will tie them up.”
Tessa say what? I think as she hops up and dashes in the other room and up the stairs.
Well, fuck.
I walk into her room, and she holds up a bandana. “This will work.”
She’s being serious. It’s cute and sexy at the same time.
She points to the twin bed with the wooden headboard that has Christmas lights entwined around the top slat since the first time I walked in.
I pull my tee over my head, knowing she’s dead serious about tying my hands and, with that, the shirt would have to stay on. No way that’s happening, because then she wouldn’t do that tracing thing with her fingers or tongue all over my abs.
After she’s done her best at tying me up and stripping me of my jeans and boxers, she steps back and taps her lip in thought. “What to do? What to do?”
“Baby, your dad could be home any minute; don’t toy with me.”
“But, Lucas, you’re my favorite toy to play with.”
She pushes long, blonde waves to the side then bends down. Her hair tickles my skin, making my cock jerk. Mouth an inch from it, she stops and looks up at me. “Maybe not—”
“Baby, don’t toy with me.”
“But Lucas, you’re my favorite toy to play with.”
“Tessa, then play, baby.”
Mischief dances in her eyes as she shrugs. “You are all tied up; you don’t get a say.”
“You seriously think this can hold me?”
“No, but I am thinking about getting a gag to shut you up and—”
I yank at the headboard, and she laughs, right before she takes nearly all of me in her hot, little mouth.
When Chewy barks, alerting us that someone’s pulling in, we make quick work of getting dressed and hurry downstairs, both pretending to be asleep.
“Lucas, you awake?” John asks, standing next to me.
I open my eyes and nod.
“How’s our girl?”
I love that he calls her that —ours—and the responsibility and trust that he has in me after all this shit to do that.
“She’s good. Worried about her toenail falling off. She slept the whole way home. Then again once she ate.” Really, she ate my dick and rode me. “She was good. Just tired.”
“No hands, Lucas?”
“No, sir, non
e at all.” And that’s no fucking lie.
Tessa brought lunch every day the next week. We ate in the construction trailer with Ryan and my father. Jade rode with her most of the time. The days Jade didn’t come, we went to the park and fucked around.
After classes, Tessa would take Jade home two days a week; the other three, Jade would drop her off and take the Jeep to go to the Lane’s. Not sure how she’s handling that, but every time I asked if things were good, Jade said, “Just sad.”
Today, Jade has an appointment. Tessa is taking her, and Mrs. Lane is meeting them there. Down deep, I want to be there, but the part of me that has already experienced that and has held my own tiny baby—it’s just a shell—is afraid I’ll break down, and I promised myself and Tommy that I won’t cave.
We worked a couple hours longer Monday through Thursday, knowing that we’ll be done by two today to take the girls to a late lunch—we being Ryan and I, who I invited after her appointment here in Ithaca.
We are just finishing up going over the schedule for next week when the girls pull in. I motion for them to come over then roll up the blueprints for next week’s phase of the project.
“We’re all set. Have a great weekend.” I nod to the men, all older than me, with much more experience in the field than I’ll ever have. A handful of them have more years on the job than my age; all but myself and Ryan are union workers who got their forty in and go home, and that’s all they wanted. Not a damn thing wrong with it.
My drive is different. I want to show my father that I can deal with anything he throws at me. Deep down and through therapy, I realized it’s to prove I’m stronger than him. But, through the past almost year that I’ve known Tessa, she taught me, and not through any realization of my own, that I’m also calling him to step up, and I know I am. Audrianna and the girls are proof of that. That spills over onto my mother, and no one, not any other person in my life, would have opened my eyes to that. Well, except Tommy. I wish you could see me now, brother.
Jade and Tessa wait until the crew scatters to make their way over.
“Well, what’re we having?” I ask Jade.
“It’s a boy!” Jade’s smile is precious and proud.
I wrap her up in a hug then move on to hugging Tessa, who has tears pooling in her eyes.
Ryan grabs Jade in a hug, picks her up, and twirls her in a circle.
It’s not lost on me that this child, especially being a boy, has as much meaning to him that it does to me. He lost her brothers, his best friends.
When he sets her down, her eyes are wide, and she laughs nervously.
“Of course it is.” He smiles, bending down to rub her belly. “Any chance there are two?”
Before she says anything, he gasps, “Oh, wow!”
“He just kicked!” Jade exclaims in surprise shock. “Ryan, he just kicked. I think he likes you.”
“Either that or he didn’t want my hand on your belly.” He steps back.
“Come on, buddy; kick again.” She rubs her belly.
Nothing.
“Tessa, you try.” She grabs her hand and puts it on her belly.
Nothing.
She drops Tessa’s hand and grabs mine. “It’s Lucas, Tommy. Kick him. I know you wanted to many times before.” She laughs, and so do I.
Nothing.
“Ryan, will you please,” she asks.
He puts both hands on her belly, and she laughs. So does he.
“He likes you.”
Ryan smiles. “I like him, too.”
“Okay, back off, Brooks,” I grumble, putting my hand on her belly again. “Come on, little man; give me some of that.”
Nothing.
“Give me your hand, Lucas.” Ryan smiles as he puts my hand under his, and he kicks.
I never felt that with David, and I will not allow myself to wallow in that, because that was straight up … “Amazing.”
Tessa is next. “Ryan, could you help me out? My future godson seems to prefer your hand.”
After Tommy’s death and between Tessa and I getting back together, I spent many nights wondering and overthinking the losses I suffered, and that Jade and even Sadi have suffered, wondering if this is all part of God’s plan.
Tommy told me a million times over that we can make all the plans we want, but God’s were bigger than ours. We could fuck it up six ways to Sunday, but He’d drag us back to the right path. So, to me—and I don’t like it—this suffering is for a greater purpose. I hurt inside thinking that I was going to be dragged into it and hurt Tessa even more in doing so. For days, I thought that my losing a child was to prepare me to be one, and it wasn’t David’s father I was meant to be; it was Tommy’s son. I even convinced myself that I was supposed to marry Jade, and I would have. I already loved her; just not in that way. But, if that’s what I was supposed to do, I had to in order to stop the deaths and suffering.
The night I called Tessa, I was grasping, but I needed to know, because why would God keep throwing her in my face if she wasn’t meant to be mine. Why would He? Right now, all fear is released about that because, typical me, I was thinking this was about me. Now I see it’s not. Hell, I even felt it under my hand.
With Mom and Bob away for the weekend, we all hang out at my place.
While I’m cleaning the pool, and Tessa is cooking up a storm, I hear my phone ring and call in to Tessa, “Baby, you wanna get that?”
Chapter Forty Three
As per the norm, I wait in the Jeep outside the Lane home for Jade to come out. When it’s been three minutes, I get out and knock on the door.
She sounded upset when she called, but when I asked if she was okay, she said yes yet sounded the opposite.
As I’m about to knock, Jade throws the door open, and I hear Mrs. Lane sobbing.
“Jade, please don’t go. I’m sorry.”
Jade smiles, tears filling her eyes, and says, “It’s okay. I just have plans today. I’ll talk to you later.”
Mrs. Lane’s voice changes dramatically from grieving mother to crazed lunatic. “Yes, you will. I have rights to that child, too, Jade. Don’t you forget it!”
I narrow my eyes and ask Jade, “Is everything okay?”
“No, it’s not. She took my baby away, and now she doesn’t think I shouldn’t have the right to have this one under my roof. I told her she could stay, too!”
No. No way. I push Jade past me and turn to her. “With all due respect, ma’am, this is her child.”
“She’s a child! Who’s going to help her, to make sure he is all right? Her drugged-up mother?”
I remain calm when I address her. “I’m very sorry for your loss, but she’s suffered one, too. And she is carrying a child. You shouldn’t be upsetting her right now. She has dealt with a lot lately. She made the choice to keep this baby. Her mother won’t be involved, but I’ll help her.”
“Oh, great … two hormone-filled little whores raising my grandson!”
My spine straightens. “Ma’am, would Tommy want you to treat her like—”
Hand to face, I gasp in shock that she just hit me.
“Well then, I’ll see her in court!” She then slams the door in my face.
“Tessa, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Jade cries as I hurry us to the Jeep.
“I’m fine. It takes more than that to push us Ross’s down. Remember that, Jade—we got this.”
The rest of the ride from Tommy’s to Lucas’s, Jade cries, and I do the only thing I can—I hold her hand and drive around, giving her time to get it all out.
Thirty minutes later, I pull into the driveway. “You ready for this, or should we drive for a while?”
“Let’s just sit here for a few minutes.” Jade uses her shirt to wipe her tears, and when she looks at me, she shakes her head. “Oh, Tessa, her fingerprints are on your face. We should go get some ice on that.”
“High school field hockey girls hit harder; I’m good.” I hug her. “We can wait a few minutes.”
My door
opens, and I look over my shoulder. Lucas and Ryan are standing there in swim trunks, sunglasses, and white hats.
“What’s going on, ladies?” Lucas asks.
“We’ll be in, in just a few minutes,” I tell him, still hugging Jade.
“All right then.” He leans in and gives me a kiss.
“All right, see you in a few.”
He shuts the door, and Jade looks up and over my shoulder. I look back and see Ryan looking over his as he follows Lucas.
“Whatcha looking at, Jade Ross?”
“Mrs. Lane is right about one thing—the hormones.” She sits back and looks at me, dabbing under her eyes. “Or is he hot?”
“Ryan has always been nice to look at.”
She wipes her face again and says dismissively as she opens the door to get out, “White hat and hormones.”
Once we hear the boys splashing in the distance, we get out and head up to change, giving Jade more time to get herself together. I think it’s unnecessary. This is obviously not going away, and I will definitely need Lucas to help assure her that it’s definitely not her. He’ll also need to talk me out of going back there and strangling that bitch.
Jade wears a red bikini, one from last year, that still fits well everywhere but her belly and boobs. She pulls on a white swimsuit cover up in attempt to cover herself more.
I laugh as I follow her, and she looks back at me. “What?”
“From behind, you don’t even look pregnant. I hope one day to be so lucky.”
When we walk out, the boys are drying off. Lucas does a once-over, looking at my new white bikini, as he walks toward me. He kisses my cheek and, in a low, sexy voice, tells me, “Baby, you look hot.”
I glance toward Jade, and he does what I nonverbally asked of him—stepping toward her. “But, Jade, I have to tell you that I have never seen you look more beautiful. Can I touch your belly?”
Jade sits down. “Sure, but he hasn’t moved a lot today.”
“I can make him,” Lucas says, hand over her bump.
“He might be upset. It’s been a rough night.” She looks at me. “What if something is wrong with him, Tessa?”