by Mj Fields
Ryan walks over. “He’s fine, Jade. May I?”
“Please do.”
“Okay, little guy, you’re freaking your momma out,” Ryan puts both hands on her belly.
Nothing.
He then rubs her belly a little, and Jade smiles, the first I’ve seen today.
When Ryan looks up at her, she bites her lip, and I fight back a giggle.
She clears her throat and starts to stand. “Thanks, Ryan.” Then she makes quick work of getting inside. I follow.
“Not cool, Jade,” she says to herself as she fills a water glass.
I whisper, “Hormones, Jade?”
“Maybe, but he has always been around, since my brothers. He’s always been so nice, quiet but nice. I just don’t know,” she says in frustration. “Maybe it’s because Tommy has been gone for three months, and I miss being touched, and feeling something other than the pain of missing him.” She looks out the window at him. “I don’t want to lose my friend because I’m a freaking ball of hormones right now, and next to you and Alex, he was my best friend back then.” I hug her, and she whispers, “But he is cute, right?”
“Always has been, Jade.” I hug her. “But unless you want him to know you’re thinking about him that way, you might want to stop running away when he’s around.”
“I don’t,” she defends.
I laugh. “You literally just did.”
When we walk back out, Phoebe, Alex, Becca, Cassidy, and Becca’s boyfriend, Joshua, are walking through the gate.
“Tessa, what happened to your face?” Alex immediately asks.
“What?” Lucas asks, hurrying over and taking his shades off before lifting my chin. “What the fuck happened to you?”
“It’s no big dea—”
“Tommy’s mom slapped her.” Jade bursts into tears. “Hard, too.”
“Fucking cu—”
I throw a hand over Lucas’s mouth, stopping him from finishing.
“Why?” Alex asks, pulling Jade under his arm.
Jade sits down and tells us all about waking up in the middle of the night—several nights—with Mrs. Lane sitting on the bed, looking at her. She mentions she usually says something, talks, cries, but last night, she didn’t say a word. This morning, Mrs. Lane told her, not asked, that she should start moving in a month before the baby was born so she could teach her how to be a mother. It scared Jade, and rightfully so. Then she tells everyone about what happened when I came.
Ryan walks behind her and rubs her head. “Jade, don’t cry. Crazy-ass grandma can be dealt with.”
“She is fucking crazy!” Lucas spews as he paces back and forth.
“What do you mean?” Jade asks.
Lucas tells us stories about when he used to stay with them, and Tommy’s older sister used to sneak in and kiss him at night. He was twelve, and she was fourteen. Things progressively got to be more than kissing, and they were caught several times.
“So, one night, Lucy came in and climbed in bed with me, kissed me, and laid on top of me.” He shrugs. “That night, Mrs. Lane flipped shit, and Tommy, who didn’t even wake during one of their family fucking fire drills, jackknifed out of his bed. She brought me back here at three in the morning at thirteen years old. Tommy was pissed and snuck out. He spent the night here. It was during one of Mom’s … vacations. She never got over it, and I never stayed with them again. Tommy knows his mom’s a judgmental bitch, Jade; he wouldn’t be mad at you if you didn’t speak to her again. He couldn’t wait to get out of there, and you know it.” Lucas takes her hand.
“That’s crazy. He never told me about Lucy,” Jade whispers. “But I have heard of grandparents’ rights before, and I can’t lose—”
“I have a great lawyer who specializes in custody. I’ve known her for six years. I’ll call her Monday morning, and you can sit down with her,” Ryan says, still rubbing her back.
“Thank you, Ryan.” Then she looks up at him and asks, “You have a six-year-old?”
“No, Jade.” He laughs. “I met her when my crackhead parents got out of jail. They were fighting to get me back, and the Brooks had already started the adoption process. She’s very smart and will answer all of your questions. So, stop stressing, and maybe little TJ will move for you.” He pats her shoulder then walks away.
She takes a deep breath as she watches him.
I laugh quietly, and she scowls at me and whispers, “Get that hat off his head.”
“It’s not the hat, Jade. It’s the whole package.” I wink, and then I don’t whisper when I look at Lucas. “Hey, Lucas, why didn’t you tell me about Lucy?”
“You know everyone I’ve had sex with; you really want to know about all that I did with everyone else?” He laughs.
“Yes, and now, please.” I stand then stomp inside.
I hear Alex chuckle, “Good luck,” right before the sliding glass door shuts.
I keep my back to him and hear him open the freezer and grab something.
Walking around me, he says, “You can rip me a new ass, but you’ll do it with an icepack on your face, baby; that’s gonna freeze.”
I hear someone coming down the stairs and then, “We need a picture of it. Her lawyer will want it.”
Ryan stands in front of me, holding up my Polaroid that I left in Lucas’s room. He smiles fakley and holds it up. “Say custody.”
Once he’s taken a couple pics, he leaves the room.
Lucas asks, “We really need to do this?”
I shrug. “No, just let me know if we are in the same room or at the same function or something. I just don’t want to feel like an idiot.”
“Okay, no problem. You want to go back out now?” He takes my hand, but his eyes are on my boobs.
“They think I’m pissed. We have at least a half hour.”
“Perfect,” he says, pulling me behind him.
The next week was insane. I worked and went to school while keeping Jade close. We talked to Uncle Jack and found out Ryan and Alex had already done so. He forbids Jade from being in contact with her until after she talked to the lawyer. She knew it was best for the baby, but she also knew how much she missed Tommy, and that she was his mom.
We were at Lucas’s when she mentioned that, and Ryan reminded her that she was a mother, too, and she of all people knew what that is supposed to mean. Jade took offense to it, at first. Then she was pissed at him until he cut her off with, “You’re not gonna be like her, Jade. You’re going to be a wonderful mother because you know what it would have meant to you.” She then cried, and Ryan sat with his hand on her belly. It was obvious he was becoming more and more protective of her boy, and her, by the day, and it was kind of beautiful.
The six of us went to camp the following weekend. We spent two nights by the fire and helped Dad during the day. Lucas learned to drive a tractor, and for some reason, he loved it. Me? I loved to ride with him, and I made sure he loved me riding with him, too. Mostly on his lap.
On Monday, Jade had a meeting with the attorney. I offered to take off work and go, but Uncle Jack thought it best that Ryan did. Uncle Jack had an attorney lined up, his custody lawyer who was semi-retired, if Ryan’s didn’t think she could handle it.
Ryan drops Jade off at school, and he does so in a new vehicle.
“Damn, Ryan, nice ride,” I call to him as he opens the door and literally helps her out.
He waves and hurries around, hopping into the driver’s side and tears out before I even get to Jade.
“How did it go with—”
“We’ll talk after class. We have an exam.”
She is quiet, too quiet, and in her eyes, I see worry, and not that of teenage girl, either.
As soon as we walk out, I get a page. I look down and see 55318008. I turn it upside down and laugh.
Jae looks over my shoulder. “What is 55318008?”
I turn it back upside down. “Read the word.”
“Boobless?”
Another page comes through. It reads,
911.
“I’m guessing this means he would like us to stop over. You okay with that?”
She nods. “Then I’ll only have to tell the story once.”
Another pops up, and I smile.
“What’s that mean?” Jade asks.
“Eight letters, three words, one meaning.” I smile. “I love you.”
“I hope he has ice cream,” she grumbles as we head to the Jeep.
Ryan’s Tahoe is sitting in the driveway when we pull in. This would normally frazzle Jade, yet she simply slides out and heads to the gate.
When we walk through it, and Lucas is standing next to the grill, face all lit up, smiling at me. He is such a different person, and I guess I am, too.
We don’t fight anymore, not really. We talk about everything, and it’s not just the two of us that we talk about. Lucas has a huge heart, big as the moon, he loves deeply, and is loyal to those loyal to him.
“I’m gonna marry that boy someday,” I whisper.
Jade smiles. “I know you are.”
Walking up to us, he hugs Jade first, and that makes me love him even more.
Then he grabs me and hugs me. “Hey, baby. Missed you today.”
“You missed her boobs.” Jade walks past. “Boobless.”
We laugh, and then he asks, “How’s she doing?”
“Said she wanted to tell the story once,” I whisper.
“Ryan said she’ll tell me when she’s ready,” Lucas states—yes, states.
As we eat steak and grilled veggies, Jade tells us that she liked the attorney. That Ryan gave her the picture of my face, and she advised her to continue not communicating with them, that the picture was powerful evidence if it came down to court, which she hoped to avoid.
Jade told the attorney that she planned to breastfeed, and the attorney said, no judge in their right mind would insist she express milk for an infant who a grandparent was trying to get custody of, especially if the mother was taking proper care of her child and had a sound home. And lastly, she told Jade that she may want to consider leaving the line that says father blank … unknown.
Then Jade cried.
“I have some news of my own.” Lucas looks at me. “Mom and Bill are going to move in together.” He takes my hand and looks at Jade.
“Are they at least waiting until you go to school?” Jade asks.
He shakes his head.
“That won’t be awkward?” she asks.
“She’s moving to Tully with him.”
“So, is she selling the house?” she asks, obviously happy to have something else to talk about than her.
“The house is actually mine,” Lucas tells her.
“What? How?”
“Long story.” He waves it off. “But, since your school is closer to my place than yours, I was thinking you and Tessa may want to move in here.”
“What?” Jade and I ask at the same time.
“Just think about it. Not like anyone else is going to be here except on breaks and, selfishly, I’d love to come home on breaks and chill with TJ.”
“Would look good to have your own place, Jade,” Ryan adds.
“Let’s focus on breastfeeding.” Jade says.
“I’m pretty sure the breastfeeding thing is going to work, but you need to remember that’s a temporary fix. You can’t breastfeed until he’s five.”
“I can’t believe we’re sitting here, talking about my boobs—” Jade laughs.
Ryan, who has a small notebook sitting in front of him, jots something down then looks at her. “Something your lawyer might advise you on. I’m going to call her in the morning and run this by her. Jade, what are you willing to do? I mean, can you give her a few hours a week for visitation, or will that be too much?”
“I thought about letting her watch him while I was at school the two and a half hours, five days a week, but I don’t think I can,” Jade wraps her arms around herself.
“No, I don’t think so. That is setting a precedence. Will they let you take him to school?” Ryan asks.
“I can find out.”
“Good. So, what do you think, two hours on a Saturday or Sunday too much?” he asks, scribbling away.
“After what she did to not just me but Tessa, I’m not even sure I want that.”
Ryan wrote it down. “Okay. Anything else?”
“Why are you doing all this for me, Ryan?”
“That’s what friends do,” he says as he stands up. Then, walking away, he adds, “Your brothers would want to know you’re being looked after.”
“Well, thank you,” she calls after him. Then she looks back at us, confused and frustrated.
After a bit, Ryan comes back out. “I’m gonna head back home. Morning comes early.”
“Can you give Jade a ride?” Lucas asks.
“Sure. You ready?” Ryan asks.
“Yes,” she says quietly.
Chapter Forty Four
I wake up at three in the morning, thinking of Lucas and thirsty. I head downstairs to peek in Dad’s room, seeing he already left, Alex with him, and Jake and Kendall are with Mom.
The dream that woke me? Vivid and extremely sexy, and it’s not going away. It’s playing in my head like a movie.
I shower, brush my teeth, get dressed—sort of—and then take Chewy out before I jump in the Jeep and drive to his house, using the key that he gave me last night to get in.
I sneak into his closet and find the black bustier thing and the little paddle thing that I teased him with through a picture, and then a graduation gift. Then I unwrap the package of breath mints and pop one in my mouth, taking another for him, wondering a million different times, What am I doing?
But, as the dawn begins to break and I see him, white sheet across just one part of his thigh, the head of his cock peeking out from under the sheet, thick, long, soft, sexy, delicious, my mouth fills with want and my core soaks with wetness.
I look at his alarm and know that, any second, it’ll go off to wake him for his morning cardio, I’m pretty sure.
When it does, he grumbles, “Ten more minutes,” as he hits the snooze.
I take the leather paddle thing and lightly tap the top of his hand. He pulls it back instinctively, rubs his eyes, and then I tap his hand again. He slowly opens his eyes.
“No way,” he mutters under his breath, his eyes fully open now.
I raise an eyebrow at him.
“Tessa, you look so fucking sexy.” He tries to stand, but I push him back with my little paddle. Then I walk over and hit play on the tape player. “Poison” by Alice Cooper starts, and I think, Four minutes and thirty seconds.
“Stay.” I lean in and push my tongue out, breath mint on the tip, and he drags it off with his teeth. Then, leaning back against the headboard, he links his fingers behind his head, and I close my eyes and move.
By the end of the song, I’ve undressed myself slowly and start to climb up the bottom of the bed until I’m straddling him. Then I push his hands away when he grabs my hips and kiss down his neck, lick down his shoulder, suck at his nipple, run my open mouth over his abs, tracing his muscles with my tongue, as he groans and hisses, body tensing and flexing, egging me on. When the song ends, I take him in my mouth.
“Baby …” he moans then reaches down, pulls me up, and fills me completely.
Once finished, he kisses me and says, “I want to wake up like that every day for the rest of my life.”
Looking at the clock, I jump up, throw on some underwear and a tank top, and say, “Get ready for work.” Then I run downstairs to make him breakfast.
After a quick shower, he runs downstairs, telling me, “We’re going shopping after you get out of school today.” He grabs my face and kisses me hard.
“Oh yeah? What are we going shopping for?”
“More outfits. Fucking hot, Tessa Ross.”
After class, Jade seems irritated.
“What’s going on, Jade?” I finally ask since she hasn’t been forthcoming
over the past few days.
“I’m hungry,” she huffs then looks at me. “And I like Ryan, Tessa. I really like him.”
“Have you told him?”
“No, I don’t want him to run scared. And don’t you tell Lucas,” she snaps.
“I won’t. But he would never tell him.”
“He would hate me. Tommy has only been gone for four and a half months, and I have a crush on someone? What the hell is that about?”
“Jade, Tommy wouldn’t want you to be alone. You’re seventeen, shouldn’t have even graduated yet had you not insisted on being in my class and skipping a grade, and in a couple weeks, you’ll be eighteen. Tommy would never expect you to be alone forever. Ryan’s a good guy, he works hard, cares for you, TJ likes him more than me”—I rub her belly—“and he’s really nice to look at. I was thinking the other day how he has a very sexy voice. Deep and smooth, Jade. I bet he would be hot as hell in—”
“Can we go eat, please?”
Laughing, I pull into the gas station to use the payphone to call Lucas.
“Hey, hot stuff. Jade is starving, so we are going to stop to feed TJ. Hope you’re not upset.”
“Not at all. Just getting ready to leave here myself. Where you going?”
“Probably Lums.”
“Great. I’ll send you a page when we’re out.”
When we walk into the restaurant, I look toward the waving hand and see Lucas and Ryan at a table.
“You with them?” the hostess asks.
I nod.
“Follow me.”
As we walk in, they both stand.
Lucas winks. “Would you like to join us? There’s no wait.”
They pull out our chairs then push them back in after we sit.
“You know it’s going to take a lot more than that to get me to go home with you, sir,” I whisper.
“All right,” he whispers. “Will that at least get me to the parking lot?”
“Of course.” I pretend to stand.
He laughs. “Can we eat first?”
“Sure, you can.” I wink.