Fighting Greed

by Miller, Jennifer

  “Yes, I can do that.”

  “Thanks for coming tonight.”

  “I wouldn’t have missed it.”

  I give her a soft kiss, my lips linger on hers for a minute. When I pull away I look at her for a second then kiss her again, deeper this time. When I pull back I feel a surge of male pride when I see her flushed cheeks and the way she bites her lip. She’s turned on and I love that I can do that to her with nothing but a kiss.

  With a sigh she presses the button on her key fob that unlocks her car and I hear the locks click. Pulling the door open, I wait for her to get in the car and start it. Closing the door, she immediately rolls her window down.

  Leaning in the door, I smile, “This week is going to be a hectic one for me. I’ve got back to back houses I’m showing a couple days but my training will be intense the next couple weeks.”

  “I understand,” she nods and smiles.

  “But, I have a question for you.”

  “Yes?”

  “I’m wondering if you’ll be my date for an event I have next weekend?”

  “Something for the upcoming fight?”

  “No, nothing like that. It’s actually Tyson and Sydney’s engagement party. I’d like for you to be my date.”

  She smiles, “I’d love to. And by the way I met all of them tonight and they are all amazing.”

  “Yeah, they are,” I smile but then it drops. “Unless Tessa wants to give you unwarranted medical advice and Sydney asks you questions about table center pieces for her wedding. Then there’s Rowan harassing me all the time for a picture to put on social media.”

  She laughs, “And Tatum? What has she done to annoy you?”

  “Nothing yet.”

  She laughs and I find I really like the sound – it’s sexy as hell and always makes me feel happy. I want to make her do it more often. It does things to my body I’d like to explore further.

  “By the way, do I get a gold star or a kiss or something for my discovery?”

  “Discovery?” her brows lower in question.

  “Yeah. I was right. No bra. Which is fucking hot by the way.”

  She smiles, “Come here.”

  Leaning inside the door, she kisses me, her tongue sweeping inside my mouth and tasting me thoroughly. My dick gets hard again.

  Forcing myself to pull back, I give her one more quick kiss, “Alright, get going you. I’m sure you need to get home to Ryan.”

  Her face softens but there’s something sad in her eyes, “That I do.”

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “No reason. Just making sure. Call me tomorrow, okay?”

  She smiles, “I will. Bye, ‘Insane’ Zane Moreno.”

  I shake my head and smile with humor, “Insane for you. Bye, cupcake.”

  She glows at my response, “Bye, lover.”

  Once she rolls up the window she backs out and I watch her drive away staring after her until her taillights disappear.

  I’m going to tell him. I have to. I want to. I’m not in the process of falling for Zane – I’ve already fallen. The only way that I can live with myself is if I tell him the truth about Ryan. Telling him means I have to also speak to him about Nico, which is scary, but maybe Zane can help me. Maybe somehow we can figure out a way to get through this together.

  At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself this whole last week. Zane and my schedules never really lined up for us to get together unless video calling counts. One night we each had a late dinner over the computer together. We scheduled it for when Ryan was already in bed and I could have some privacy. It was fun and different and oddly romantic.

  I’m convinced Zane can make things fun no matter what we’re doing. One night I knew without a doubt I was going to tell Nico that he could take his blackmail and demands and shove them up his ass. It was another night Zane and I were video chatting. Ryan was still awake and had been playing in his room but then got impatient with my phone call and wanted me to hang up so I would read him a story. I asked him once more for five more minutes promising it would be the last time I would ask and then I would be there to tend to his needs.

  Zane suddenly called his name through the phone loud enough so Ryan could hear him. Ryan came over and took the phone from me so he could look into it to speak to Zane. While I watched, they had their own conversation. Zane asked Ryan the name of his favorite book and asked him if he could read it to him. Ryan agreed and asked if he was coming over to read it. Zane smiled, asked for a minute and then began reading the book to Ryan. It was clear he had bought and downloaded the book in order to do so. It was like magic to Ryan and when Zane began reading he smiled from ear to ear.

  But Zane was only getting started.

  The reason Ryan loves that particular book so much is because of the different animal characters and their speaking parts. He likes it when I use different voices for the animals and he does it too – he thinks it’s funny and silly.

  Without any prompting Zane automatically did each animal’s voice differently. One had a southern accent, another British and one sounded suspiciously like a girl – a very high-pitched girl. Ryan giggled like crazy; so did I for that matter. It was adorable and it was clear that even Zane was amused by himself – although he did make me promise to never tell one of the guys that he makes one hell of a girl.

  Ryan asked him to read it again and even a third time and Zane complied without batting an eye. When he read it the second time, it was even more fascinating than the first. The second time I didn’t just watch and laugh at Zane. That time I watched Ryan and his reactions, the way he listened intently to Zane, the way he appeared to crave male attention. It’s just been me and Ryan so long – Nico never counting because he has barely paid any attention to Ryan – but I never think about how a male influence is a positive thing too. As I watched, I asked myself how I would explain to Ryan some day that I knew who his father was and I didn’t tell him. I wondered how the hell I would even explain it now at four. How do you suddenly tell a child they have a dad that they’ve asked about before and you told him that he wasn’t there? I did my best to brush it off knowing he was young and that I had time before I had to answer deeper and harder questions. I told him that he didn’t have a dad and it was okay because he was lucky enough to have a mom that could be both whenever he needed her to be.

  How wrong I was. Not because I’m incapable or too weak to be what he needs alone, but because it’s a lie. Ryan does have a dad. One that I, in a sense stole from him. Just like I’m stealing Zane’s son from him. It’s wrong for me to make that decision for them and I can’t – no I won’t – do it anymore.

  The third time Zane read to Ryan, it took everything I had to sit there. Part of me wanted to run into the bathroom and cry and feel sorry for myself because I know that doing the right thing won’t be easy. Part of me wanted to scream right then and there the truth. Another part wanted me to stop time and get to enjoy how I’m feeling about Zane and how he seems to be feeling about me a little longer before I risk losing it forever by revealing the truth.

  But, Zane deserves better and seeing him reading a story to a child that he has no idea is his own, is too much.

  What kind of woman am I for allowing this a moment longer? Who am I to keep him from his son?, And worse, what kind of mom am I to keep my son from his father? I work with kids everyday who would give anything to have or know their father – and yet, I have been denying that own right to my own flesh and blood. How can I do that? There is no price too great for me to endure to enable me to justify this behavior.

  It’s time. Regardless of what Nico says, does, threatens, it’s time. As soon as Zane’s fight for the title is done, I’m telling him everything. I ask myself why I’m waiting. Am I being selfish? Is it because I want more time with Zane and in case the worst outcome occurs, I’m pausing to enable myself to enjoy more of us, to soak up every second? Do I pause because I fear losing what I am just starting to gain
with his friends – so much of what I have longed for and needed in my life? Am I really trying to spare him, to forego distracting him before this so important fight? I believe this revelation will blindside him and confuse and emotionally exasperate him. I also think it will infuriate him – an unhealthful ugly anger. In my heart, I don’t believe his justified wrath will be targeted at or even impact how he may feel or act toward Ryan, but be rightfully directed at me. I don’t want him to step into that fight exhausted from his likely fury, distracted and mentally and emotionally hurt. That could be devastating to him not only mentally but potentially physically if it was cause for injury due to an inability to concentrate. And I don’t know if I could assume the weight of being responsible for that as well. While my mind suggests that the opposite of each scenario could occur, and that even knowing this truth could be one more motivation for Zane to win in the octagon, I suppress those ideas and give weight to the counter arguments instead. For such has been the experiences of the course of my life.

  Regardless, of this self-battle of when, the question of if has been resolved. A decision has been made. This news will not be withheld. As evidence, I start putting a box together of various pictures of Ryan from birth until now for Zane. I want him to have some knowledge of those times in Ryan’s life. There’s so much he wasn’t part of – first word, first steps, first laugh, first holiday, first… everything. Since I can’t give those back to him maybe in some small way these pictures will help.

  Now, standing in front of the mirror once again looking myself over before heading out with Zane to the engagement party, I find repulsed eyes staring back. Instead of admiring myself in the snug burgundy dress with black trim that fits me perfectly and complimenting the chosen black heels that make my legs look longer, I focus on the imaginary indelible words ‘liar’ and ‘betrayer’ stamped on my forehead.

  Again, I convince myself that when Zane learns the truth any relationship we’ve begun will be over. The thought brings an awful stab of pain to my heart and breathing becomes difficult. I remind myself this inevitable result is well deserved and silently admonish myself for feeling self-pity. I trust that we will be able to co-parent with Ryan’s best interest at heart, and know I’ll be lucky just to have that relationship with him. My son deserves a father more than I deserve Zane for myself. That’s why, no matter how scared I am, I will do this.

  “Mommy, you look beautiful,” Ryan’s pronouncement from the doorway startles me back to the present.

  Placing the lipstick down I was mindlessly applying, I turn toward him and kneel down, “Thank you so much sweet boy. That’s so nice of you to say.”

  “You said Zane is coming over.”

  “Yes, that’s right. A couple of Zane’s friends are getting married, so they’re having a party to celebrate.”

  “Do you think you and Zane will get married?”

  Smiling, I shake my head, “I don’t think so sweetie.”

  “Why? I like Zane.”

  “I like him too.”

  “Then you should just kiss him, then tell him you love him and then get married.”

  “And how do you know so much about this?”

  “Because Vanessa.”

  “Vanessa?”

  “Yes, she made me watch a movie with a princess and I liked it. The princess was pretty. There was a prince too and they kissed each other. It was kind of gross but then they got married. So if Zane kisses you then you can get married too.”

  “Hmm, well I’ll keep that in mind.”

  He shrugs, “Okay.” When the doorbell rings Ryan shouts, “I’ll get it,” and just like that talks of marriage are over.

  Saved by the bell, indeed.

  Hurrying after him, “Hold on, baby, let me check the peep hole.”

  “Because safety first.”

  “That’s right.”

  Smiling when I see Vanessa through the peephole, I open the door, “We were just talking about you,” I tell her with a smile.

  “Oh yeah? Hi Ryan,” she says ruffling his hair.

  “Hi! Want to build Legos with me?”

  “You know it!”

  The two of them start to walk away but before they get far there’s a knock on the door. Checking the peephole once again, I see Zane on the other side and my eyes widen just from the tiny look I get through the hole.

  Zane in a suit.

  There are no words.

  My mouth immediately goes dry.

  Clearing my throat, I open the door and check out the view.

  “Wow,” I say and he smiles.

  “That’s what I was going to say,” he says looking at me. Leaning in, he places a kiss on my lips, “You look stunning.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Hi, Zane!” Ryan chirps from behind me.

  Zane smiles widely as Ryan reaches his hand up so Zane can smack it in a high five. When I look at Vanessa to tell her goodbye, I almost laugh out loud. She’s looking at Zane with the roundest eyes. I can tell she thinks he’s very ‘hot’ as she would say.

  “Vanessa, this is Zane. Zane, this is Ryan’s wonderful babysitter, Vanessa. She’s my life saver and Ryan adores her.”

  “Hi Vanessa, it’s nice to meet you.”

  “It’s nice to meet you too.” She stares at him for a moment longer and then bats her eyes several times, “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure,” Zane smiles tentatively looking at me curiously, but I have no idea what she’s going to ask so I offer a small shrug.

  “Have you got a little brother?”

  Zane and I laugh, “Nope, sorry. I’ve just got a sister.”

  “A cousin? Second cousin?”

  “No again.”

  “Too bad,” she smiles and sighs wistfully. Turning to Ryan she asks, “You ready for some fun, Ryan?”

  “Yes!” he responds gleefully.

  “Have fun, Miss Reeves, I’ll see you later.”

  “Thanks, Vanessa. Call me if you need to.”

  “Thanks, but we’ll be great.”

  Grabbing my purse, we leave with Zane holding my arm as he escorts me to the car. This time, his car is nice and sleek instead of the borrowed truck. He opens the door for me and once I’m settled closes it.

  I watch every move he makes as he walks to his side of the car. When he gets in and buckles his seatbelt he starts the car before turning to me, “I’ll be honest, I think I’d rather go back to my place and strip you out of that dress and whatever else you may have on under there except for the shoes. Those I would have you leave on.”

  His unexpected and bold words make shivers run over my skin. “Be careful, or I’ll take you up on that suggestion.”

  He sighs, “I’m pretty sure my friends would notice if I didn’t show up to their party, but I figure we’ll make an appearance and get out as fast as we can.”

  Laughing at the eagerness in his voice, he gives me a wink and a smile before jetting out of the parking lot and onto our destination.

  We make small talk on the way, he talks about the fight a little bit and this time I listen instead of asking probing questions. He tells me about a couple houses he closed on this week and asks about the kids at the orphanage, which I adore.

  We pull up to valet park at a beautiful resort and when Zane and I walk into the engagement party, it’s already in full swing. People are standing around talking, drinks are being served along with hors d’oeuvres. I spot a couple of Zane’s friends and we move their direction.

  “Champagne?” Zane asks me as he plucks one off of a tray.

  “Yes, please.”

  He hands me a glass and I immediately take a sip enjoying the bubbles on my tongue and tickling my nose.

  There’s also a tray of beers going around which is pretty clever. Zane grabs one of those with a grin then takes my free hand.

  Turning my attention to where Zane is directing us I see Rowan and Jax, but this time, there’s a gorgeous little girl with dark hair and big blue eyes in his arms. Sh
e’s got on a fancy little dress and shiny black shoes. She looks like a doll baby and is grinning up at Jax and looks simply precious.

  Rowan sees us first and smiles in greeting, “Sutton, it’s so nice to see you again,” Rowan says kindly giving me a hug, which I happily return.

  “Hi, you too.”

  “Hi, Sutton,” Jax says kindly and then nods at Zane with a smile. They may be tough fighter men, but their affection for each other is clear as day. It’s obvious they’ve been friends for a long time.

  I find myself jealous wishing I had the same kind of friendships in my life. Nico never approved of me having friends when we were together. He didn’t like me spending time with anyone or on anything that could take time away from him. He’d even act ridiculously jealous of Ryan – a child. Nico may be a horror to deal with now, but at least I’m no longer living in denial about what kind of man he is.

  Bright side.

  “Hello,” I greet them both. “And please introduce me to the most gorgeous little girl I’ve ever seen.”

  Rowan glows at the compliment, but it’s Jax who answers, “Sutton, this is our daughter, Lily. Lily, can you say ‘hi’ to Sutton?”

  Lily looks at me curiously and smiles then shyly ducks her face into Jax’s neck. “Oh, come on now, baby girl, be nice to Sutton for daddy,” Jax says trying to coax her to smile, but she’s not having it.

  “How about your uncle Zane? Do I get a smile?” She lifts her head and smiles at him. “You look so beautiful in your dress, pretty girl,” Zane coos. There’s that feeling in my chest again as I watch him intently with Lily. Looking away, I take a minute to compose myself happening to catch Tyson’s eye across the room as he moves between people, holding hands with Sydney. He smiles and I return it.

  “Hey, if it isn’t my new friend, Sutton,” Levi walks up distracting me from my thoughts.

  “Hi, Levi, how are you tonight?”

  “Better now that you’re here, gorgeous.”

  “Back off, Levi,” Zane growls and Levi grins. It’s clear he’s just goading him.

  “But he’s right, Zane,” Dylan adds as he walks up clearly having heard their interaction, “She does light up a room.”