A Fading Fire

by D. K. Holmberg

  It was possible there was something else.

  As Tolan continued to fall, he realized there was something familiar about what he detected around him. Maybe he wasn’t even falling.

  What if this was nothing more than a spirit shaping?

  The lizard.

  Tolan reached for the lizard. Knowledge was buried there. The lizard connected him to spirit. Strangely, the lizard also blocked him from spirit. Though the lizard connected him to spirit, the lizard also used him to connect to spirit.

  An idea came to him. Tolan pushed aside the lizard.

  The connection to spirit was within him. Tolan didn’t need the lizard in order to call upon spirit. It was within him. He focused on spirit and pushed upward.

  He detected resistance.

  At first, he thought the lizard tried to guide him toward the element bonds, but the more he pushed, it seemed the lizard tried to hold him back.

  Why would it want me to fail?

  Tolan pushed against the resistance. Then it faded. Power bloomed around him.

  There was color. There was light. There was a sense of wind. There was a sense of water. Earth. Tolan had entered the element bonds.

  But how?

  He wrapped himself in power. It came to him more easily.

  He breathed in. With as long as he had been in the strange new waste, having not had any access to power, having it come back to him again was freeing and a relief. He held onto that sense, letting the awareness of power flow to him. Energy exploded all throughout him.

  Tolan barely had to do anything.

  As he reached into that power, feeling the energy buried within him, he recognized energy deep inside of him, but also something else within it. The lizard. For whatever reason, the lizard tried to fight him. Tolan tried to reach for the lizard. It had answered him before, but he felt as if it ignored him now. Master Minden had told him that the lizard had only appeared when it was needed.

  The lizard had helped him. The lizard was spirit.

  Tolan worked through his memories. There, buried deep within them, was the sense of spirit. Somehow, Tolan had been altered.

  Spirit was used to influence his memories. Tolan could feel the way that they were influenced, could feel the knowledge the lizard took from him.

  A voice rumbled within his mind. He recognized that voice. The Guardian of earth. Power flowed through him. The sense of the lizard was pushed backward.

  Tolan took in a breath, looking all around. He felt as if he were back within the element bonds. He knew how to escape, but he didn’t know what he was going to need to do.

  He tracked through the element bonds, choosing earth, as he had been there the most. In doing so, he could feel the sense of the connection that was there, and he used that to carry him. Because of his connection to earth, he found the Convergence that he looked for. It was the one in the heart of the waste.

  The Convergences were all tied together; they were all bound to the element bonds. Because of that, Tolan could use that power. He could track it, and he could use it to free himself.

  He surged forward.

  Then he exploded outward.

  When he did, he knew that something was wrong.

  25

  When Tolan had connected to the element bonds before and emerged, he had done so in the place of the Convergence within Amitan. When he had returned, he returned to the same place and to his body. In this case, when he separated from the element bonds, he was floating. He was spirit. Consciousness. He was separated from his body.

  Some part of him had changed.

  Could my body still be there?

  He floated. The sense of the elements remained tied to him, but it felt also as if they were trying to pull free from him. Vaguely he felt pressure against him.

  Everything felt different. He was connected to the element bonds in a way that he hadn’t been before. What about the elementals?

  Tolan tried to reach for them, but couldn’t feel them the same way. The sense of them was absent. Only the element bonds, then.

  He had to reach Ferrah and Kerry.

  He drifted onward, focusing on the place beyond the waste. Power came to him. He pulled on each of the elements, adding spirit to them, and attempted a warrior shaping.

  It failed.

  Perhaps in this form, he couldn’t use a warrior shaping.

  He tried again and failed.

  He could feel each of the elements, and he could feel the way that they were flowing through him, but it was spirit that held him together.

  It was incredibly strange to feel connected to the elements but separated from them in some way. In this form, he could use each of the elements, but not the way he had before. Traveling to the waste was far slower than he wanted.

  When he entered the Beyond, something changed.

  Some part of him began to fade. It was the connection to the element bonds. For whatever reason, there was a separation here. It was almost as if the border of the waste separated him from the element bonds, just as it had separated these lands from the element bonds. What purpose would there be in separating people here from the element bonds?

  That was the purpose of the Guardians, of the waste.

  He continued drifting toward the tower. As he reached it, he paused.

  There were runes around it. A sense of energy flowed up from the ground. The power of the runes connected him, binding him to the element bonds and bridging him to someplace else.

  It connected him to some place beyond here, to the power of the elementals, and to something he wasn’t able to reach otherwise. It was almost as if the tower itself bridged him to the element bonds and to Amitan. He’d never felt it in his physical form before, but in this form, he became aware of it.

  Could that be why Roland wanted the tower?

  Tolan drifted through the tower, focusing on floor after floor, drifting through walls in this spirit form. When he reached the top of the tower, he floated again.

  There was nothing there. There should be the sense of the elementals that he had helped.

  Where was Ferrah?

  With those elementals. Away from here.

  The Convergence.

  The distant sense of energy called to him, drawing him forward. It was the same as before. He felt as if he were summoned, as if some aspect of this power called him, demanding that he answer. He looked everywhere.

  He didn’t see anything other than the changing landscape. In this form, there was a sense of energy to the land, and even though he wasn’t connected to it, he could feel it.

  In the distance, he began to feel something else through spirit. Elementals.

  He wasn’t alone, not anymore. There was power here.

  He could feel them in a way that he wasn’t able to feel them before. Even after bridging them to spirit, Tolan had felt as if he were separated from those elementals. Now that he was closer, he felt almost as if he were bonded to them. It was almost as if the answer to something he needed to know was here.

  Ferrah was there. Kerry. So were dozens of the new elementals, all connected through spirit to Kerry. He lowered himself to the ground and landed near Ferrah. The ground was rocky and irregular near her, bleak, and a landscape that reminded him of the waste. In this part of the Beyond, he could feel how some aspects of the elements were drawn off. There were a few stunted shrubs, though as he looked at them, he could feel the energy of the elements fading, as if whatever Roland had done was changing things, destroying everything nearby.

  “You did it,” he said.

  Ferrah turned but didn’t even look at him.

  Could she not see me?

  Tolan looked down at himself, and it seemed as if he were in the physical form of himself, but at the same time, he wasn’t entirely sure. Given the power he held onto, and the way that he had been stripped from his body, he might be nothing more than a slip of spirit.

  Tolan spoke up again.

  “You did it,” he said.

&n
bsp; Ferrah ignored him.

  Tolan slid forward, moving toward Kerry. It seemed as if a faint breeze tugged at her black cloak, her dark jacket and pants, barely touching her hair. He could almost imagine the fragrance she wore. “Kerry. I need your help.”

  For a moment, he had a sense that she turned toward him, but then she ignored him the same as Ferrah.

  Tolan pushed spirit into it, attempting to reach her again. “Kerry!”

  This would be the time when having her present would be beneficial, but she didn’t respond. Spirit was not enough.

  Tolan turned to the elementals. There was an earth elemental near him. “Can you hear me?”

  The earth elemental rumbled, turning his attention toward Tolan. “Who are you?”

  “I’m Tolan Ethar. I’m the shaper who helped you.”

  Strangely enough, he could see all the elementals. When he had been here before, they hadn’t been visible, though they could take on physical form the way Rory had.

  Rory. Where was the wind elemental?

  Tolan focused on wind. He could feel the sense of Rory deep within that connection.

  Rory stood near the other elementals. He was filled with the power of wind, of spirit, and seemed to be filled with anger.

  “Rory,” Tolan said.

  Rory turned toward him. He swirled in the air, barely taking on a physical form before manifesting once again.

  “Can you see me?” Tolan asked.

  “What happened to you?”

  Tolan breathed out a sigh of relief. “You can see me.”

  “I can see you, but…”

  “But what?”

  “But you look like an elemental.” Rory remained near a small twisted tree. There were no leaves on it, nothing but thorns. A few pale berries clung to those branches, making it seem as if it were some sort of violent shrub. In this form, Tolan couldn’t feel the thorns.

  Tolan looked down at himself.

  Could I have somehow connected to the element bonds in a way that had changed me, making me into one of the elementals?

  The idea seemed impossible, almost laughable, but everything that he had seen suggested that maybe that was the case.

  “I was trapped. Whatever Roland is doing, the way that he’s pulling power, separated me from my body.”

  “You shouldn’t be able to be separated from your body.”

  “As far as I can tell, it’s still there.”

  Tolan could close his eyes and think he could feel that part of himself, energy that came from his body. All he would have to do would be to reach for it and he could reconnect to his body.

  What if my body had perished? Would I be stuck in this form? Would I live as an elemental?

  There was no pain. He would’ve expected there to have been something more, some agony, but there had been none. The only thing that he felt was the sense of fear when he had been going to the darkness.

  Could I have been plunging through the space between life and death?

  No. Whatever else happened had been something different. It had involved the element bonds. He was certain of that.

  “I think that I can return to my body. We have to figure out what Roland is doing and stop him.”

  “That’s what we intend to do.”

  “I don’t know that attacking the Convergence is the right plan.”

  “That is what you wanted, isn’t it? You sent her here to do that.”

  At the time, he had. Now he didn’t know if it was the best idea. Perhaps that would only accomplish what Roland wanted.

  “What would you propose?” the wind elemental asked.

  “Something changed for me, and we have to figure out what it is.” Tolan used his sense of spirit, and he shared with Rory what had happened with the lizard.

  The other elemental seemed to shake. It was almost as if the idea of the lizard betraying them was too much for him.

  “What is it?”

  “Light should not do that.”

  “Light?”

  “That is the elemental.”

  “You know it?” Tolan asked.

  “I know it. All of us know Light. He would serve you, not torment you.”

  Awareness of the lizard was still there in his mind. It was almost as if he could close his eyes and find that sense, but he feared the lizard attacking again.

  “You might know this creature, but he’s done something to me.”

  Rory fluttered for a moment, agitation increasing within him. “It’s possible something happened to him.”

  Tolan thought about his experience with the lizard. He’d been within the portrait. Maybe something had happened to the lizard.

  Could that be what Roland was after?

  Roland’s goals had shifted after Tolan had freed the lizard.

  “I need to speak to Ferrah and Kerry. In this form, I haven’t been able to.” Tolan tried to solidify himself but failed. “Is there any way that you can teach me to become more solid?”

  “You must maintain focus.”

  Tolan thought about each of the elements, reaching for earth first, but nothing seemed to solidify. “It doesn’t seem to work.”

  “You must find it within you.”

  He strained, but failed.

  “What do you do?”

  “I am connected to wind, and I use that to solidify my appearance.”

  Which element was I connected to?

  There was a time when he would’ve said it was earth. That was the element he had been able to sense from the beginning.

  What about fire?

  It was the one that he could shape first. Yet as he worked through each of the elements, none of them really helped him change. He remained in this vague and insubstantial form.

  What about all of the elements?

  He could add wind and water to fire and earth, and in doing so, he thought that he might be able to create something more. He was a shaper who had access to each of the elements. Perhaps a warrior shaping in this form would do something different.

  He formed that connection, not trying to travel but to hold it upon himself. Inverting it, something like what he did with the portraits.

  At first, nothing happened.

  For a moment, power swirled together. Tolan began to form some image of himself. It was little more than a memory, something buried within him, some aspect of his mind that seemed to be tied to what he had done and what he wanted to be.

  He shimmered into existence.

  He could feel it as he did, and could feel the faint change, almost as if there was something more he needed to do. Then it faded. He lost it.

  It was there within him, but as he mixed those energies together, nothing else changed.

  What about trying spirit?

  Tolan added spirit to it, and still there was no change.

  What about spirit alone?

  He wasn’t bound to any particular elements, at least not that he thought, but it was possible that he had connected more to spirit than he had realized.

  As Tolan focused on it, he began to use spirit, drawing from the way it was connected to each of the element bonds. Power surged into him. Gradually, that flickering stabilized. Tolan was once more in a physical form.

  “That is better,” Rory said.

  “I’m still not entirely sure what I did.”

  “You created a version of yourself.”

  “What do you mean I created a version of myself? Am I not the version I usually am?”

  Rory smiled at him. “If only you could see.”

  Tolan looked over. Ferrah remained nearby. He hurried toward her, maintaining that connection to spirit. In order to do so required a significant focus on his part, but he could hold it. In doing so, he let that sense of spirit fill him, wrapping around him, and he held that power through himself.

  “Tolan?” Ferrah asked as he approached.

  He moved toward her, following the bleak landscape, stepping over some of the rock and wishing that he had some way o
f feeling the air around him, the stone beneath his feet, or even the heat from the sun. He could feel nothing. Strangely enough, he was still connected to the elements, and to the element bonds. Through that, he felt a connection to the elementals around him. Spirit bound him to them, though there was some aspect of it that left him feeling as if it remained incomplete. Off, somehow.

  “You can see me?”

  “What’s wrong with you?” Kerry asked, sliding over on a slip of wind and fire.

  “I…” Tolan tried to think about how to frame it for them, not sure that they would even understand just what happened to him, but he also didn’t want them to think that he was dead. As far as he knew, he could come back from this.

  “I reached the pit. I fell. And—”

  “You were separated from your body?” Kerry asked.

  Tolan nodded. “I was separated from my body, tossed into the element bonds. Somehow, I escaped.” He looked around, and it felt like power erupted all around him. It was power that he didn’t fully control, power of the elementals, but it was also the power that came from whatever Roland attempted. It burst from the ground, leaving Tolan feeling helpless against whatever Roland would do. “I need to finish this so that I can figure out how to get back into my body.”

  “Are you sure that you have to?” Ferrah grinned at him, and Tolan turned back to her. “I suppose I shouldn’t be making jokes at this time. The elementals aren’t necessarily in a joking mood, either.”

  He nodded. “You did it. You got the elementals to gather.”

  “They didn’t want to listen to me.”

  “But they did.”

  “They did. Rory helped. He wasn’t thrilled when I freed him from the bondar, but after he was released, he understood. I think he knew what you were doing.”

  Tolan shook his head. “I’m not even sure I knew what I was doing. I don’t think this is right.”

  “Why not?” Kerry asked.

  “We need to withdraw.”

  “If Roland is using power like this, then we need to stop him.”

  Tolan looked toward the pit. Even as he did, he could feel the energy in the pressure on him. It was almost as if there was some sense of whatever was out there growing upon him.