One Way or Another

by A. L. Brooks

  Sarah’s lips were slightly swollen and damp from her exertions, her eyes as dark as coffee beans, her breathing ragged. “I…I want to make you come,” she whispered.

  “You will. Soon.” Bethany sat back on her heels and pulled the dam away, ensuring she knew which side was up when she lay it on her thigh. Having Sarah pinned beneath her like this was giving her a rush she was sure would compare with a heroin fix, and her next move came as naturally to her as breathing. With her free hand, she slowly ran two fingers down either side of her clit and rubbed gently, agonisingly slowly. Sarah’s eyes nearly rolled back in her head and she moaned, loud and long.

  “Oh, God, Bethany. You’re killing me. Please,” she begged, staring intently at Bethany’s fingers. “Please let me touch you. Lick you. Anything. Please.”

  “Soon,” Bethany croaked, her fingers increasing slightly in rhythm but still not directly touching her clit. “Just watch.” She rocked her hips, opening herself up to Sarah’s gaze, revelling in the agonised sounds Sarah made and the way her legs thrashed on the bed.

  Hm, I’ll need to tie those down too, next time.

  At that thought, of Sarah completely tied up and open to her, Bethany quickly withdrew her fingers; she really was in danger of coming now, and she only wanted one person to make that happen.

  She reached for a tissue from the box on the other bedside table, wiped her fingers carefully, then retrieved the dam from her thigh. Sarah whimpered as Bethany placed it back into position.

  “Yes, Sarah,” Bethany whispered forcefully. “Now.”

  Sarah arched up as Bethany lowered down, and her tongue slipped straight inside Bethany. A cry of sheer pleasure left Bethany’s lips as she ground herself down onto Sarah’s tongue, and when Sarah moved to lick firmly at her clit, she knew she was about to fall to pieces. Long, firm strokes had her grinding even harder, her breathing coming in short, hard gasps as her eyes shut tight and waves of sensation started in her toes and swept up her legs. The orgasm rushed through her, locking her thighs and arching her spine, her hands clenching the dam tight against her pussy as Sarah continued to lick her down from the initial spasms, through the rolling aftershocks.

  She placed a hand on Sarah’s head and pushed gently, letting her know she could cease her ministrations. Sarah looked triumphant, and Bethany couldn’t blame her. That had been spectacular. She sat back on her heels again, her breathing gradually slowing, and smiled down at her lover. The view was slightly blurred—her glasses had slipped a little in the throes of her orgasm—until she eventually found the strength to raise a hand and push them up again.

  “Very good,” she murmured, and Sarah smiled widely.

  “Thank you,” Sarah said. “That was incredible. Please may I do it again?”

  She grinned impishly, and Bethany chuckled.

  “Soon. For now,” she said, easing upright and lifting first one leg then the other away from Sarah so that she could sit on the bed beside her, “I need a little rest.”

  She dropped the dam over the side of the bed. Stretching out thighs and calves which were deliciously sore from straddling Sarah’s head, she gazed at her lover’s pussy, noting just how soaked it now was.

  “But don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten you.” There was a distinctly cheeky yet commanding tone to her own voice, and she liked it.

  Sarah shook her head slightly. “Y-you’re amazing at this,” she whispered. “I’m in awe of you right now.”

  “Good,” Bethany said, winking. “Let’s keep it that way.”

  Sarah spluttered a laugh. “Can I kiss you?” she asked, as her laughter died down.

  Bethany nodded, and shifted position so she was leaning half across Sarah’s torso. Their lips met in a series of short, tender kisses that lengthened and grew more passionate as the minutes ticked by.

  “You’re incredible,” Sarah murmured when their lips parted. Her eyes were wide, and she almost looked fearful. “I’m…I’m scared, Bethany,” she blurted.

  Bethany’s heart clenched. “Scared of what?”

  “Of losing this. Now that I’ve found it, found you, I…I don’t want to lose it.”

  Bethany shifted again so she could stare directly down into Sarah’s eyes. “I have no plans,” she said firmly, “to go anywhere. I want this just as much, Sarah. Trust me.” She willed Sarah to see the truth of the words in her eyes. This vulnerability was a little worrying, but she would do all she could to convince Sarah they were something worth keeping. “You’re a beautiful person, Sarah, and I want you in my life.”

  Sarah’s eyes shimmered, but she smiled, and let out a long sigh of what sounded like relief.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get so emotional, at this of all times, but—”

  “Sarah,” Bethany said gently, “there’s no need to apologise. Not at all. This was very emotional—look at what we did together. Look how much you trusted me with that, and how much freedom you gave me to be who I really am. What we just shared was so much more than physical.”

  She could feel her own throat closing in at the emotion of the moment, and swallowed hard.

  Sarah nodded, and her smile deepened. “It really was.”

  Bethany wasn’t sure if it was too soon to break the seriousness of the moment, but she said it anyway. “And I think we ought to do some more of that sharing right now.” She waggled her eyebrows as she reached for the gloves. “Open your legs, Sarah.”

  Sarah sucked in a breath but instantly did as she was told.

  Chapter 17

  Sarah stumbled into the bathroom on Bambi legs. It was just before eight—it seemed she’d slept soundly, as she had no recollection of waking once she and Bethany had snuggled up after their exertions.

  Catching sight of herself in the big bathroom mirror, Sarah stopped and stared. She looked…undone. Her hair was everywhere—being tied to a bed and thrashing about in the throes of pleasure would do that to a woman—and her face was flushed. Her eyes sparkled though, and even as she stared at herself, a smile tugged at her lips.

  The previous night had left Sarah in a state of sexual euphoria she’d never experienced before. Her own pleasure had been intense, but more than that, it was knowing how much she had satisfied Bethany. Yes, she’d always been a considerate lover; of that there had never been a question. But what she and Bethany had shared had taken that to an entirely different level. Pleasing Bethany, obeying Bethany, giving Bethany everything she asked for had filled Sarah with a contentment, and happiness, and sexual satisfaction that she couldn’t begin to put into words.

  Unbidden, her fear of losing this—or worse, fucking it up—reared its ugly head again, and she had to clutch the sink as terror swamped her. Oh God, what was she doing? She was only going to get hurt. Or hurt Bethany.

  I am not cut out for relationships, never have been. I should just end it now, before I get in way too deep, and—

  Panic gripped her, and white noise cleared her brain of everything bar one thought: I have to get out of here.

  She inched open the bathroom door. Bethany was still fast asleep, one arm thrown across the pillow above her head, the other reaching out to where Sarah’s side of the duvet was pushed back.

  God, she’s so beautiful. Sarah stood and stared for a minute or so, and as she did, her panic receded a tad, at least to the point where she didn’t want to sprint out of the flat.

  Creeping across the bedroom, she retrieved her tatty old towelling robe from its hook on the back of the door and eased it onto her body. The door was thankfully silent as she pulled it open and left the room.

  After pouring herself a glass of orange juice, she carefully slid open the big door that led to the deck and plopped herself down in one of the chairs near the railings.

  Jonathan answered just before the call went to voicemail, sounding out of breath.

&
nbsp; “Sarah? Bit early isn’t it?”

  “Sorry, did I wake you?”

  “No, not at all, but I had to sprint out of the kitchen to get this.”

  “Ah, sorry.”

  “What’s wrong? You sound…different.”

  She rubbed a hand over her face and sighed. “I think I’m having some sort of panic attack.”

  “What?” His voice went up a level. “Oh, God, are you okay?”

  She rocked on her chair. “I don’t know. I… Bethany spent the night. Last night. And this morning when I woke up and she was still there and still amazing and…everything, I just panicked.” She swallowed hard. “I can’t do it. I just can’t.”

  “Do what?”

  “This!” she exclaimed. “The whole relationship thing. If I walk away now I won’t get hurt so much as when it ends later.”

  “Walk away? But… Why would it end?” Jonathan sounded mystified.

  “I don’t know,” she ground out from between gritted teeth. Jonathan could be so infuriating sometimes. “I’ll get bored. She’ll get fed up with me. Someone else will steal her away—she’s quite new at all this, remember, so I might not hold her interest for long.”

  Jonathan tutted. “Oh, Sarah. You could get run over by a bus tomorrow. Does that mean you won’t get out of bed and live the day anyway?”

  “Well, no, of course not.”

  Jonathan let out a small but triumphant cry. “Ah-ha! There you are then!”

  “What?” Sarah was baffled. How does that help?

  “Jonathan, in his own way, is trying to tell you to live for the moment, not waste your life doing the ‘what ifs’.” Evelyn spoke quietly. “And for once, I totally agree with him.”

  Her aunt must have picked up the second phone upstairs.

  “How long have you been eavesdropping?” Sarah demanded.

  “You agree with me?” Jonathan asked, his shock evident in his strangled tone.

  Evelyn chuckled. “Do not get used to it, dear. It is not a habit I plan to nurture.” She sighed. “Sarah, I was not eavesdropping. Well, not much. I did happen to hear Jonathan’s voice and wondered who he was talking to, and then it became apparent it was you and so, well, I decided to join in.”

  Sarah shook her head. There was no point in having a go at her aunt. She meant well, as always.

  “You really agree with him?” she asked, surprised at her aunt’s apparent turnaround on the whole happy-ever-after concept.

  Evelyn chuckled. “I do.” She paused, then said, “Look how much you care, Sarah.”

  “Huh?”

  “You care so much you’re scared.”

  Sarah blinked. “I-I suppose so.” She flicked her gaze out to the water as she let that soak in. “I’m scared in so many ways.”

  Evelyn’s voice was gentle, and her words brought a lump to Sarah’s throat. “What else are you scared of, Sarah?”

  “I’d rather not go into details with you, but I’m trusting her with something I’ve never given anyone before,” she said, her face flushing even though she had no audience. Jonathan’s chuckle didn’t help.

  “Hm. I see,” Evelyn said. “And why is this bad?” she asked, her tone firm.

  Sarah gulped, and, not for the first time in her life, marvelled at the poise her aunt could display at even the most unsettling of moments. She pondered Evelyn’s question, then drew in a deep breath.

  “I’m scared that trust will get abused. Or she’ll reject me, think there’s something wrong with me, or something.” The thought of Bethany doing any of those things writhed in her belly like the worst case of indigestion. Her voice grew small as she admitted the worst of her fears. “Or that she’ll leave me, and I’ll be hurting all over again, just like with Amber.”

  “I don’t know who Amber is,” Bethany said, and Sarah whirled round to see her in the doorway, her mouth dropping open. “But I don’t plan on doing any of the things you just said.” Her quiet voice carried a hint of hurt that cut through Sarah.

  “Is that her?” Jonathan asked.

  “Uh-huh. Gotta go. Bye.” Sarah hung up without waiting for a response and put the phone on the table.

  Bethany looked incredible. She’d found Sarah’s other robe, the silky one that hung on the back of the bathroom door, and it fitted her perfectly, highlighting every delicious curve and showing off her shapely legs in the most alluring of ways.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, tilting her head and looking confused. “I woke up and you weren’t there, and then I heard you talking and…”

  Sarah stood and slowly walked over to Bethany, who—thankfully—didn’t back off.

  “I’m…okay. Sort of.” Bethany had clearly heard some of her conversation, so there was no point in trying to cover it up. “Shall we go in? I’ll make us some breakfast, and we’ll talk?” Bethany’s face fell, and Sarah realised how that might sound. “Shit, no! I don’t mean it like that. I’m not ending this.” She stepped closer and ran a finger gently over Bethany’s cheek. “Not if I can help it, anyway.”

  As she said the words, she recognised their fundamental truth, and something relaxed in her heart and her stomach. When Bethany smiled, that relaxation spread to her limbs and she returned the smile before dropping a soft kiss on Bethany’s mouth.

  “I do need to tell you what all that was about, though, I know that,” she said, pointing at her phone.

  “You do,” Bethany said simply, before kissing her just as softly and then turning away to walk to the kitchen area.

  Sarah followed her. “You sit there,” she said, pulling out a stool at the breakfast bar, “and I’ll rustle us up some eggs, okay?”

  “Sounds good. I am rather hungry.” Bethany grinned, but Sarah noticed a tightness around her eyes, and knew she’d need to talk to make that go away.

  “I tell you what, let’s hold off on the eggs for just a moment.”

  She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, then pulled out the stool alongside Bethany’s, perching on its edge as she took a deep breath.

  “Thank you for not leaving or being angry, or whatever,” she said, trying to convey with her words as well as her earnest tone how grateful she was. She paused for a long moment to collect her thoughts. “I’ve spent my whole life, ever since finding out I was adopted, I guess, trying very hard not to put myself in a position where I would feel rejected. There’s a rational part of me that knows that’s silly—apart from Amber, no one has ever truly rejected me. But that rational part gets shouted down by the emotional part. It’s the little girl in me who doesn’t understand why her mother let her go, or why her parents were prepared to lie to her about her birth circumstances. And it’s the teenager in me who lost her best friend just when she needed her most.”

  It was amazing how easily the words came, now that she was saying them. Yes, Evelyn—and lately, Jonathan—knew some of this, but Bethany was about to be the only one who knew it all.

  “Amber was your best friend back then?” Bethany asked quietly, as if afraid to interrupt.

  “Yes.” Briefly she filled Bethany in on that particular story, then took a few sips of water before continuing. “After Amber’s rejection, I convinced myself I didn’t need anyone. I closed off my feelings, or at least I thought I did. I realise now I was deluding myself. Every time I had a drink, or six, or took a drunken one-night stand home, all I was doing was pretending not to care, and using drink and sex to numb the pain.”

  Bethany snuck out a hand and rubbed a thumb over the back of one of Sarah’s hands. Her touch was warm, and soothing, and Sarah’s throat tightened. She had to cough before continuing to speak.

  “Before I knew it, I’d spiralled into a dangerous cycle, and was putting my career and my health at risk. Luckily for me, Evelyn has the eyes of a hawk, and she could see what was happening. At least as far as the drinking went.
I think she hoped I would dig myself out of it, have some kind of epiphany or something. But when I didn’t, she stepped in.” She chuckled. “She marched in one night, about eight years ago, and read me the riot act. There was no way I was going to argue with her either—deep down I knew I was in trouble. I guess I was just looking for someone to offer to help. And that was Evelyn.” She shuddered. “I dread to think where I would have ended up if it hadn’t been for her.”

  “She really cares about you,” Bethany whispered, her thumb still making comforting circles on the back of Sarah’s hand.

  Sarah nodded, smiling. “She does. So,” Sarah said on an exhalation, running her free hand through her hair, “that’s where my mind has been all these years. And although I straightened up in terms of the drinking, and believe it or not, cut down on the one-night stands, I still wouldn’t let myself feel. That was still way too scary. Jonathan’s tried to push me to strive for something more, and Evelyn’s told me to just do what I feel comfortable with. I think she was scared I’d revert back to the drinking and risky behaviour if I tried too hard to find that someone special and got rejected or hurt in some way.”

  Sarah turned Bethany’s hand in her own and intertwined their fingers. “And then you came along.” She met Bethany’s gaze, noting how her eyes glistened. “And you turned all of that on its head. For the first time in my life—or at least the first time I allowed it—someone wormed their way under my shell and ripped my world open. Last night… God, last night was the pinnacle of that.” She shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe it was too soon or maybe it was perfect timing. Either way, surrendering to you like that, giving you the real me, who no one else has ever seen… It was incredible and terrifying all at the same time.”

  Bethany looked horrified.

  “Oh, no!” Sarah said quickly, before Bethany could speak. “Don’t get me wrong. I wanted it, I really did. It’s just in the cold light of day, the fear of being hurt returned and I panicked. I mean, I literally panicked—I couldn’t form a coherent thought other than to run away. And then…” She smiled at the memory. “I came back into the bedroom to get some clothes and there you were, asleep in my bed and you looked so bloody beautiful it literally stopped me in my tracks.”