An Honourable Fake

by Terry Morgan

CHAPTER 21

  "The orange juice is warm when it should be cold. The toast is cold when it should be warm," Lazarus was saying. "And they speak bad English, Ayo. They use cheap foreign immigrants."

  Already wearing his trilby, Ayo had long finished the Intercontinental Hotel's room-service breakfast. He'd forgotten the white napkin still tucked between the top buttons of his blue silk shirt and as he stood it fell out.

  "My problem is not the breakfast, Lazarus. It is you. You seem to forget why we are here. You have the look of someone who is losing his grip on reality, Pastor."

  Toast crumbs clung to Lazarus's lower lip. "It is because I am nervous," he said, spitting clumps of wet toast. "I did not like that secret service man. I do not like Azazi. I do not like guns."

  "So, do you want to run away and hide?" Ayo asked, the tone bitter enough to suggest he'd be happy if Lazarus left right now. Lazarus shook his head and more toast fell out. Then the room phone rang and he jumped in alarm.

  Ayo answered it. "Yes? Come up."

  Osman Olande, in jeans and black leather jacket, sat heavily on the sofa, legs apart, hands on knees, staring, saying nothing but grinning. Lazarus stood as far away as possible, nodding nervously and trying to see what was inside Olande's black jacket.

  "So where is the basstad?"

  "The basstad Gabriel, Oz? Well, we know he wasn't at his office yesterday......."

  Olande shook his head impatiently. "Not that basstad. The Dobson basstad."

  Ayo wasted a glance at Lazarus for help so looked back at Olande. "We do not know this Dobson basstad, Oz. The only basstad we know is Pastor Gabriel and his pet dog Solomon."

  "Festus says Dobson. You say the Pastor. Who is first?"

  In the far corner, Lazarus bit a finger nail. "All are first," he whimpered.

  Olande stood, his eyes wide and, or so it seemed to Lazarus, checked his gun was in place. Ayo, six inches shorter than Olande, looked up, blinked and felt his trilby shift backwards. "Let us sit and analyse this as sensible men," he suggested.

  Olande sat down, thighs filling the jeans to stretching point, "Go ahead. Be sensible."

  Ayo remained standing, wondering where he'd put his hat. He touched his head, found it was still in place and said, "I have two good ideas. We check his office again. Maybe he has now arrived."

  "And your second good idea?"

  "My second idea is better." He turned to Lazarus. "You remember when we were with Bishop William for the conference at the Miami Beach Convention Centre?"

  Lazarus shook his head.

  "We stayed for a week at the Carillon - where William explained his baby business. Do you not remember? We stayed a week but the basstads Gabriel and Solomon only stayed two nights. While we were relaxed in the spa they stayed at a cheap self catering place........"

  Lazarus, light dawning. "Yah. The Stardust. I remember we discussed appearances being essential in our business. The basstad Gabriel said they always stayed in cheap hotels."

  Ayo nodded and looked at Olande. "That's where you'll find him, Oz. Cheap hotels in London run by Nigerians."