Forget This Ever Happened

by Cassandra Rose Clarke

  They swim for a while. Audrey mostly floats on her back, but Claire splashes around in the water and rides the waves toward the shore. The sun washes out the rest of the sky and tosses sparkles down onto the Gulf. It’s fun, but Audrey’s company is dull enough that Claire wishes she were here with someone else—with Josh, specifically, even though she can’t imagine him on a beach. The bright sun doesn’t suit him. But as she drifts up and down with the water she daydreams about an afternoon on the beach with Josh anyway, her bare skin brushing against his under the water, the two of them sharing a blanket as the sun sets into the dunes.

  Eventually, Claire’s skin starts to feel hot and sore.

  “You’re burning,” Audrey says. She’s still floating on her back, moving to the rhythm of the waves. Her eyes are closed, and Claire wonders how she could possibly know; she’d actually started to think that Audrey was asleep. “You should have put the sunscreen on at my house. If you go in the water right away, it washes off.”

  “I just burn easily,” Claire snaps back, annoyed at being lectured to like a little kid. “Although I should probably sit in the shade for a while.”

  Abruptly, Audrey rights herself, dropping her legs into the water. Her own skin is as evenly tanned as it was before, without a single hint of a burn. She wades over to Claire’s side. “I’m sorry,” she says, her voice swelling with sincerity. “I didn’t mean—”

  “It’s fine.” Claire is suddenly aware of the enormity of the ocean. Although she can see the beach, the dunes, Audrey’s car, a family a few yards away, she feels as if she’s trapped on the open sea, surrounded by nothing but water and sky and emptiness. “I feel like going in anyway. My arms are tired. And the seaweed’s everywhere.”

  Audrey nods. “We can walk along Seaside Drive. And get something to eat, if you’d like.”

  “Fine.” It’s not really Audrey that’s bothering her, Claire decides, it’s the water itself. She can’t shake that feeling of being mired in infinity.

  A wave swells up behind her and Claire catches it and rides it halfway to shore. She wades the rest of the way in, picking through the seaweed and the sand back to the car. The sun is so bright that when Claire looks over at Audrey all she sees are rays of light.

  Like the ocean, it makes her feel small.

  Maybe she does need to eat something. She skipped breakfast and didn’t have much lunch, so perhaps this woozy sense of being lost is just hunger.

  “Seaside Drive’s just over there,” Audrey says, pointing to a spot past the dunes as they towel off and pull their clothes on over their bathing suits. “The pizza place is there, remember? With the arcade.”

  Claire nods. They walk across the sand to a boardwalk that takes them over the dunes. There’s a sign warning them of rattlesnakes. Claire wonders if it really means to warn them about monsters.

  She looks over the railing, but all she sees are vines and sand.

  The boardwalk takes them over the seawall and drops them onto Seaside Drive, and as soon as Claire sees the town proper, the paved street and the salt-scrubbed storefronts and the old cars stopped at the light, she feels normal again.

  She glances at Audrey, who looks over at her and smiles. “It’s always nice walking in the sun after you’ve been in the water, don’t you think?”

  “Sure.” Claire shrugs. She’s just glad the world feels right.

  It only takes five minutes to get to the pizza arcade. An Open sign blinks in the window, next to a flyer for something called the Stargazer’s Masquerade Ball.

  “Oh we have to go to that,” Audrey says, tapping one finger against the flyer. “It’s the biggest thing in Indianola. You’ll still be here, right? In July?”

  “A masquerade?” They go into the arcade. The sudden blast of air-conditioning sends ripples of goose bumps up Claire’s legs. “And yeah, I’ll still be here.”

  “There’s some astronomy club or something that started it back in the 1800s. Who knows why.” Audrey seems bored by the origin. “But it’s such fun! Now, what kind of pizza would you like?”

  The arcade is dark. Most of the light comes from the arcade cabinets or the little red lamps sitting at each table. Like the beach, it’s mostly empty.

  “Pepperoni’s fine.” Claire looks around the arcade. The only other people here are a guy in a tan’s sheriff’s uniform sitting at one of the tables and a girl hunched over a Ms. Pac-Man game. After a few seconds, Claire recognizes her—she’s the exterminator girl. What was her name? Julie.

  Claire is oddly relieved to see her.

  Audrey sashays up to the counter and places the order. Her voice, perky and bright and perfectly grating, carries over the blips and beeps of the video games. Julie glances up, looks over at the counter, and frowns. There’s the ripply sound of Ms. Pac-Man dying.

  “Crap!” Julie says, loud enough that Claire can hear. The sheriff glares at her. “Do you have a quarter?” she asks him.

  “No.” He speaks more softly than Julie, and Claire can’t hear the rest of what he says, but it’s enough to make Julie roll her eyes. She leans away from Ms. Pac-Man and looks out over the arcade and that’s when her gaze falls on Claire.

  Claire immediately looks away, her cheeks burning. She can’t believe she’s standing next to the salad bar just staring at some girl she doesn’t even know—

  “Hey, Mrs. Sudek’s granddaughter!”

  Claire jerks her head up, her face still warm. Julie ambles over. Her cut-off shorts barely peek out beneath the hem of an oversized T-shirt screen-printed with a scene from Vertigo.

  “You found the Pirate’s Den, huh? It’s the only remotely cool place in town.”

  “Yeah.” Claire smiles and Julie smiles back at her. Her smile’s genuine in a way that feels welcome after spending the afternoon with Audrey. “I like your shirt. Vertigo’s one of my favorite movies.”

  “Really? Mine too!”

  “I saw it at a special screening last year,” Claire says, aware that she’s probably babbling. “They had a film festival with a bunch of old movies.”

  “That’s awesome,” Julie says. “I saw it on TV when I was a little kid and got obsessed. When I got a VCR it was the first movie I tried to buy.”

  They look at each other in the dim light.

  “So, did you come here by yourself? You can eat with me and my cousin, if you want. That’s him over there.” She points at the sheriff, watching them with his arms crossed over his chest. “Oh no, he’s got his cop stare on.” Julie laughs. “Don’t worry, though, he’s off duty.”

  “I wasn’t worried.”

  Julie smiles. Claire wants to accept Julie’s offer. Wants to sit at the table and watch her play old video games. But then Audrey walks over to their side, and Claire remembers she’s not here alone.

  “Sorry, it took forever. No one was at the counter, and—Oh! Hi, Julie!”

  Claire’s chest twinges in a weird way. It almost feels like jealousy: Audrey and Julie know each other? But of course they do, Audrey said the school only had one hundred students.

  Julie blinks at Audrey. “Hi?” she says, her brow furrowed. “Do we—did I exterminate something at your house, or—”

  Audrey laughs, twinkling and bright. “No, silly. We had Mrs. McClane’s trig class together last year, don’t you remember?” She wags one finger in false admonishment and puts a hand on her hip. “I know you skip out on the pep rallies, but you should still know your school’s cheerleaders.” Another laugh.

  Claire always skips pep rallies at her school too. She and Josh go to Mr. Ramirez’s room and work on their projects for art class—that was how they first started talking, all those months ago. And she doubts she could name even half the cheerleaders on the squad. They’re all super friendly, but her school is so huge that she rarely crosses their paths.

  If only Julie had been the one to bring her a gift basket her first day here, not Audrey.

  “Yeah,” Julie says, and she rubs at her head. “Yeah, I’m sorry. N
o, I remember. Mrs. McClane’s class.” She shrugs. “I liked that class. Guess I was paying more attention to the math than anything else.”

  “I hate math,” Audrey says brightly. There’s something insincere about her voice, though, like she doesn’t really believe what she’s saying.

  “Sure.” Julie looks around. “Y’all want to come eat with us? If either of you’ve got quarters, we can play Ms. Pac-Man.” She points at the game.

  Audrey just stands there with her smile frozen into place. Claire digs three quarters out of her wallet. “I’ve got some quarters,” she says, feeling stupid.

  “We’d love to sit with you,” Audrey gushes, finally.

  Julie looks from Audrey to Claire. “Awesome,” she says, but she looks at Claire when she says it. Claire hands her the quarters, feeling shy. “Let me introduce you to my cousin, Lawrence. He’s the cop.”

  “I’m a sheriff’s deputy,” Lawrence calls out.

  “Whatever.” Julie leads Claire and Audrey over to the table. Audrey immediately sits down next to Lawrence and holds out her hand. “I don’t believe we’ve met,” she says.

  “No.” Lawrence takes her hand and shakes. “No, although—are you a cheerleader? I feel like I’ve seen you at the games—” He rubs his forehead and closes his eyes. “I’m almost certain—”

  “I am!” Audrey chirps. “Made varsity last year.”

  “And you were a junior, like Julie? Pretty impressive.”

  Audrey beams. Beside Claire, Julie rolls her eyes. She leans in and whispers in Claire’s ear, “No cheerleader would look twice at him when he was in high school, so now he’s freaking out. Look at him.”

  Claire presses her hand over her mouth so she won’t laugh out loud. Lawrence leans forward, nodding earnestly at Audrey’s chatter. Julie snorts.

  “It’s gonna be a while before your pizza’s ready. Wanna play a game? We can do two-player on something if you want.”

  “Sure.” Claire shrugs. “We can play Ms. Pac-Man, that’s fine with me.”

  Julie’s eyes gleam. “It’s the best one here. The arcade in Victoria has newer stuff, Mortal Kombat and Samurai Shodown the last time I was out there, but that’s like an hour drive. My mom doesn’t like me driving out there.”

  “I know Mortal Kombat!” Claire says, excited. “Me and my friend Josh play it together every day after school.”

  “Isn’t it fun?” Julie grins. “So, are you into video games too? Not just Hitchcock movies?”

  “Yeah.” Claire glances over at Audrey, wondering if she ought to feel guilty about ignoring her, about wanting to ignore her, but Audrey’s wrapped up in Lawrence. “I don’t think I’m very good, though.”

  Julie swipes her hand dismissively. “I doubt that.”

  They walk over to the game and Claire slips in the quarters. “You can go first,” Julie says with a smile. Claire smiles back, a warmth in her chest.

  She hasn’t played Ms. Pac-Man in years, but she manages to make it to the second level before she dies. When Julie takes her turn, her whole demeanor changes. She rests her fingers on the controls like a fighter pilot. Her eyes look straight forward, unblinking, and she straightens her shoulders. Ms. Pac-Man starts munching through the dots and Julie’s fingers are a blur as she weaves around the maze. Claire leans up against the side of the cabinet and watches her, although she gets bored quickly and focuses on Julie herself instead. She’s got that grunge girl style, her hair like she hasn’t bothered to brush it since she woke up and her eyeliner dark and smudgy. Claire wonders how much a stick of dark eyeliner would cost at the Walmart on the edge of town.

  Julie makes it to the fourth level before her turn ends. She nods in satisfaction and steps away from the game. They go back and forth, and when Claire pulls off a particularly tricky maneuver on her turn, Julie laughs and says, “Awesome,” and Claire’s cheeks burn.

  It’s fun, but when they’re finished they don’t have enough quarters for the both of them to play a second round.

  “We should do this again,” Julie says. “No one I know is really that into video games. It sucks too, because I got a Super Nintendo for Christmas last year.”

  “You have an SNES!” Claire cries. “That’s awesome. My friend Josh has one, well, his brother does, and he hardly ever lets us get on it. But I like it when we do have a chance to play.” That would give her something to write about to Josh, wouldn’t it? A letter detailing all her video game exploits. He’d think that was funny. She’s pretty sure he would, anyway.

  A dullness thumps at the back of her head. No, she was going to write him about the monsters. She’d even started the letter. Written a few lines and then abandoned it. She’s not even sure where it is now.

  “You should come over,” Julie says. “I’ve got Street Fighter II and Super Mario Kart and a couple of others.”

  “I’d like that,” Claire says, and she means it, not like when she says the same thing to Audrey.

  “I’ve got tomorrow off. Here, I’ll give you my number. Just call me whenever and you can come over.”

  Julie bounds over to the table and pulls a napkin out of the dispenser. Lawrence and Audrey don’t even seem to notice her.

  “Hey, Larry,” Julie says. “You got a pen?”

  Lawrence gives her a dark look. “Don’t call me that.”

  “Do you?”

  “No. Go ask Pete.” He turns back to Audrey and says, “Sorry, what were you saying?”

  “Wow, look at him.” Julie’s back at Claire’s side. “Could he be any more obvious?”

  Lawrence leans forward in his chair, nodding every few seconds. His eyes glow. Audrey gestures and swishes her hair back and forth as she talks. Claire has always wondered about girls like that, girls who can control boys—and not even a boy here, a man, a sheriff’s deputy—with just their conversation.

  “Is she always like that?” Claire asks in a low voice. “Just—anyone will listen to anything she says?”

  Julie doesn’t answer right away. When Claire looks over at her, she’s frowning, her brow screwed up in concentration. She stares at Audrey.

  “You know?” Julie says. “I really don’t know. I can’t remember.”

  Claire shivers. That ought to say something about Julie, but the truth is, it doesn’t. It says something about Audrey.

  Claire just doesn’t know what.

  CHAPTER

  Five

  CLAIRE

  Julie agrees to pick Claire up the next afternoon. As Claire is changing out of her sloppy T-shirt and old shorts, the telephone rings, shattering the silence of the house. She bolts out of her room, half-dressed, since Grammy’s taking her afternoon nap and she gets irritable whenever she’s woken. “Hello?” Claire says breathlessly into the phone, before remembering to add, “Sudek residence.”

  “Claire? Is that you?”

  “Mom?” Claire sighs and leans up against the wall. It’s the first time her mother has called her since she dropped Claire off in Indianola a week ago.

  “I can’t talk long—I have a meeting scheduled in half an hour. But I saw that you’d called a couple of times and I wanted to make sure everything’s all right.” Her mother’s voice is brisk and business-like. She might as well be returning a client’s call.

  “Everything’s fine,” Claire says. She pauses, her thoughts fuzzy. Why did she call again?

  “Claire? Is everything all right?”

  Claire glances up at the notepad beside the phone, sees the number for the exterminator. And then she remembers. “Monsters,” she says. “I was calling about the monsters.”

  There’s a long silence on the other end of the phone. The speaker buzzes in Claire’s ear.

  “I’d forgotten about those,” her mother says, her voice distant and flat. Then: “Is everything all right with Grammy? Has she been taking her pills?”

  Claire shivers and slumps farther down the wall. She thinks about what Audrey told her, how people forget about the monsters as soon as they
pass the city limits. She wonders if that’s what this is, or if it’s her mother avoiding an awkward topic. The silence is heavy enough, though, that this time she doesn’t think it’s her mother’s fault.

  “Yeah, she’s been taking her pills. Listen, Mom—”

  “What is it, honey? I told you I can’t talk long, so if you want to really chat we’ll need to hold that off for some other time.”

  Claire’s mother has never gone in for chats, and Claire has no idea why she’d want to start now. “Mom, it’s not—There are monsters here, and I’m worried something really bad’s going to happen to Grammy that I can’t deal with—”

  “We’ve had this conversation a hundred times already,” Claire’s mother snaps. “We’re not having it again. Helping an old woman out with her chores isn’t going to kill you, and she doesn’t feel her disease is serious enough to warrant live-in help.”

  “What? I didn’t say anything about the chores. I was—”

  “No talking back, young lady. I know you’re not happy about being in the country for the summer, but try to make the best of it.” Her mother’s tone softens then, the way it always does when she gets too harsh, as if she’s finally heard herself. “There are plenty of fun things to do in Indianola. Have you been to the beach yet?”

  Claire sighs. She’s living in a town full of monsters and her mother’s asking her about the beach. “Yes.”

  “Good. Oh! And of course you’ll be in town for the Stargazer’s Masquerade. That’s in July, and I always had such fun at it. It’s a costume party, you know. Ask Grammy about it.”

  “I already heard about it. Listen, Mom—”

  “Sorry, dear, I really have to run. Call me if you need anything.”

  Her mother’s favorite lie.

  “Sure,” Claire says, which is how she always responds. They say their goodbyes and Claire hangs up the phone. Her mother’s voice rings in her ear, and for a moment Claire is homesick—not for her mother, necessarily, or even their messy house where the TV’s always blaring in the background. But for Houston, for civilization itself. She misses Josh and her friends from school.