When the bell rang for recess, the children scurried out of the room and onto the playground. All except one. Emery stayed behind, slinking up to my desk with a big grin hidden on her face. She was desperate for it to burst out. Okay, so I take it back. There was no way I wanted to live back in the world where I didn’t know Emery was my kid. Who wouldn’t want this adorable little thing to be theirs?
“Hello princess,” I whispered. She absolutely beamed. “How are you?”
“I miss you,” she whispered back. “And Papa misses you too.”
My chest constricted. I so wanted that to be true, but I didn’t quite believe it. If I was Brent, I’d hate me right now. She might have just been saying that.
“Well, I miss your Papa.” Which was the truth, the absolute truth. “I miss him a lot.”
“Why don’t you come around anymore?” she asked, her voice still a little quite and a lot wounded. “It’s weird.”
“I don’t know if your Papa wants me to,” I said. “We had a little bit of a fight and-“
“I thought we weren’t allowed to get into fights,” she gasped. “You always tell us to not get into fights and when we do you make us apologize.”
“I know but-“
“So you should apologize,” she said. “You have to apologize otherwise we don’t get to be a family and maybe that means I don’t get to be a big sister.” She smiled broadly, the grin practically splitting her face.
I blinked and shook my head.
What did she just say?
“Say that again,” I said carefully.
“If you don’t come back, we don’t get to be a family and that might mean I don’t get to be a big sister and I want to be a big sister!” she said, still grinning.
She couldn’t be serious. If she was talking about being a big sister that either meant that Brent was going to get a dog and be one of those incredibly strange people who call their dogs their children or he was pregnant again. And he hadn’t told me.
“So, Brent is-“
“Daddy is pregnant!” she shouted. “He’s going to have another baby, so if you get on with it and apologize, that means we can be a family again, okay?” She leant forward and kissed me on the cheek. “So hurry up and do it because we both miss you. Bye.”
She waved at me as she walked out of my classroom door to go to recess. My cheek was still a little bit wet. I couldn’t believe that Brent was pregnant again. I couldn’t believe that we could be having another child together. It was so wild. And so an accident again. We needed to get better at that otherwise we’d end up with enough kids to have a pack all of our own.
I took a deep breath. I needed to make this right. After everything that we’d been through together, after all of the time we had missed because of our stupidity when we were young, I needed to make this right so that we could be together and raise this child as a family. No wasn’t an option. I needed to fix this.
I texted Slater to see if he was free to talk, but he was getting ready for an art show that was happening this evening, so I made sure Chasen and Tate were free and called them on conference, still sat at my desk. Not exactly what I should be doing during recess but needs must. I had to figure out what to do and maybe they were the only ones that could help.
“Hey guys, it’s me,” I said.
“Hi me,” Chasen scoffed. “To what do I owe the pleasure in the middle of a Wednesday? Are you still fired? Are you bored yet?”
“I’m not fired anymore, I went back to school this morning,” I said. “The kids are out at recess and I have something to discuss with you both.”
“Both?” Chasen said.
“I thought that was your sexy voice I could hear there, Chasen,” Tate’s voice rang out into the empty classroom. He was smiling, I could hear it, positively beaming. “How are things?”
“Oh you know, life of an architect,” he said.
“Well I wouldn’t know since you never come by Frostbites anymore,” Tate said. “Best coffee in the neighborhood.”
“Is that so? That sounds like a challenge more than anything.”
“It’s an honor bestowed upon us by your brother, no less,” Tate teased. “You can ask him if you don’t believe me.”
“Sorry to break this up,” I said. “But if we could get back to me, the reason this phone call is happening, that would be great.”
“Gosh, Jarrett, so rude,” Chasen said. “I’ve not spoken to Tate in a while, we were just catching up. I assume everything is good with you Tate.”
“Everything is fine over here, shop is busier than ever, and I’m all the better for speaking to you,” he said.
“Okay, I’m about to hang up and just leave you two to it, can we please move the focus back to my problems?”
“When are we not focusing on your problems, drama queen?” Chasen laughed. “Come on, tell us what’s going on, let’s see if I can help you at all.”
“Well,” I said. “It turns out that Brent is pregnant.”
“Fuck,” Tate exclaimed.
“Need I remind you I’m in school right now, Tate!” I scolded.
“Sorry, but that’s some pretty big and intense news, when did you find out?” he asked.
“About five minutes ago.”
“Fuck!”
“TATE!”
“Sorry,” he said. “Chasen, you say something now.”
“Look, this is really great news,” he said. “You were so sad when you first met him and Emery that you’d missed out on all of this time with her, and now you have an opportunity to actually do it all over again. That’s the best damn thing ever!”
“But we’ve not spoken in days,” I groaned. “What if he doesn’t want me anymore? What if he is happy to do this all by himself just like he did the first time?”
“You’re really bloody exhausting, you know that?” Tate said.
“Honestly, Tate, another curse and I’ll hang up on you,” I warned.
“How many times did you tell me that Brent said he wanted to tell you and wanted to raise Emery with you?” Tate asked. “How many times did you say you wished you’d had that opportunity? If you go to him now, if you talk to him, if you apologize to him, I can’t see Brent turning you away. He is your fated mate and he cares about you, and I know you care about him too. Tell him for goodness sake.” He sighed. “You’re so lucky to have found someone, Jarrett,” he continued. “You don’t even seem to know how lucky you are, but you’re so freaking lucky. I’d kill for what you have, what you could have, with Brent. Don’t let it slip away.”
I sighed. “So what do I even do? I’m so worried that I’ve already screwed this up.”
“I don’t think you have yet,” Chasen said. “But you need to go to him and you need to grovel, you need to beg for him to take you back because you definitely should have called him by now.”
“But it’s his fault I got suspended-“
“Do you know that for sure or are you guessing based on rumors and hearsay?” Chasen interrupted. “That’s what I thought. You need to get him to forgive you for being a grade A tool, and then make this a little more official.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“A marking bite or bonding ceremony,” Chasen said triumphantly. “It’s sort of like a marriage but it’s not, it’s a promise to each other.”
“We’ve hardly been together that long-“
“But you’re fated mates, Jarrett, what part of that aren’t you getting?” Tate sighed. “Take the plunge mate. We’ll be there to help you if you need anything, okay?”
I sighed. This seemed like a terrible idea. “Okay, what do we do?”
18
Brent
I was nervous the second I woke up. Once I’d been to see the doctor today I would have my answer, and that answer would tell me whether or not I needed to go to the trouble of talking to Jarrett again. If I was pregnant, he deserved to know. If he wasn’t…I guess I just had to let him go. I’d survived for s
uch a long time without him, I shouldn’t put him on such a pedestal.
Once I’d gotten Emery off to school, I climbed in my car and drove to the Doctor’s surgery on the outskirts of town, my heart beating hard in my chest. I sat in the waiting room thinking about how much nicer it would have been if I could have had Jarrett here with me. I think he would have liked to have been here, that much I knew. Maybe if I was definitely pregnant and he knew about it, he would want to come to scans and things. That would be nice. That would be a really great thing to be able to share with him.
My Doctor stepped out of her office and called me in. She had been my doctor for as long as I had lived in Howling Hills and I always thought she was brilliant. Doctor Emmich had always been really nice to me. She had a welcoming, motherly face and a sunny disposition which is exactly what you needed when you were twenty four years old, alone, pregnant and scared as hell.
“How are you getting on, Brent?” she said, with a smile, sitting me down opposite her in the office.
“I’m alright,” I said. “Emery is doing well at school, I…” I didn’t know how much to share with her at this stage. “I recently reconnected with her father actually.”
“You tracked him down?”
I didn’t really want to go into the details.
“It was sort of a strange thing, we tracked each other down by accident. It was all pretty much by chance, which was sort of cool. A little bit of fate.”
“You don’t believe in fate, do you Mr. Bridges?” she said with a smirk.
“I think I do,” I said. “It all seems too unlikely otherwise.”
“And this is his baby, I assume?” she said with that same smile.
“I think so,” I said. She gave me a strange glance. “Oh no, not like that,” I said backtracking quickly. “Jarrett is the only one of slept with, I just meant that if I’m pregnant, then it’s his baby. Wow, I obviously need to watch my tongue.” She laughed which made me feel a little easier.
She ran a few tests, every moment that passed by between her leaving the room and coming back making me panic all the more. There were so many things that I needed to consider. Telling Jarrett for one, finding Emery’s old baby clothes for another, I think I’d put them up in the attic. I sighed and leant back in my chair. I didn’t want to do this alone again. I wanted to do this with Jarrett. I didn’t want him to hate me.
She came back in with a soft sort of smile on her face. I knew it before she said it out loud, but she had to make it official.
“You’re going to be a father again, Brent,” she said. “Congratulations!”
I didn’t really know how to react. I knew, of course I did, I could feel it inside me, I’d taken two tests but it still came as a bit of a shock. I wanted to burst into tears. I totally wasn’t sure whether I was crying out of happiness for having another baby or out of fear that I was going to have to do this all by myself.
Doctor Emmich placed a tender hand on my shoulder. “Brent, honey,” she said softly. “Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”
“I’m just scared,” I said through tears. “I’m sorry, this is so stupid. I’m happy, I am, but I’m frightened.”
“Why are you frightened, dear?” she said.
“I haven’t really spoken to Emery’s father in a few days so he doesn’t know that I’m maybe pregnant and I’m scared that when I tell him he won’t want to come back to me and…” I trailed off, sniffling away. “I think I’m just being silly. Maybe it’s the hormones.”
She gave me a hug. “You can stay here a little while longer, Brent,” she said. “Get yourself sorted out and then get yourself home and maybe go to bed until Emery comes home. You need to get a good night’s rest.”
“Oh I can’t tonight,” I said. “I have to go to her talent show at school,” I couldn’t stop the smile stretching across my face. “Emery is singing and dancing in it, I have to be there for her.”
She smiled at me in that kind way that she did. “Then go home and take a nap,” she said. “You’re going to be useless to her if you’re tired. And don’t you worry about that man of yours,” she added. “I hate to be such a pragmatist about this, Brent, but what will be will be. If he’s meant to be with you, he will be with you.”
I did as Doctor Emmich ordered, spending the rest of the day in bed and then getting myself ready to out to Emery’s talent show. I put on a nice shirt, a pair of slacks and my bravest face. I was no doubt going to bump into Jarrett tonight as it was at Emery’s school. Maybe I’d talk to him, maybe I’d leave it until tomorrow. I didn’t want to ambush him. Maybe I’d leave him a note. It sounded cowardly but at least then I wouldn’t have to see his face while it happened. Would it be a step too far to have Emery deliver the note?
Don’t chicken out, Brent. I told myself, shaking my head. What will be, will be.
I looked at myself in the mirror, pulling the shirt tight around myself. I wondered if you could tell I was pregnant yet. It had only been a month at most but I could swear there was something going on in there. I smiled. We would be fine one way or another. I’d made it work by myself before, why couldn’t I do it again?
Rippling Woods Elementary School had been done up to look a little more like a theatre for the evening. There was a red carpet out the front as the parents walked in and some of the children were wearing big trench coats and flashing flashlights at people as they walked by so they looked like paparazzi. It was funny and very sweet.
“Brent!” a voice nearby said. I turned to see Tate, the guy who ran Frostbites stood a little way away from me with a group of very attractive young men. He beckoned me over and pulled me into a hug when I got close enough. “So good to see you,” he said. He smelled really good, and looked fantastic now he wasn’t in an apron with flour on his face. He was a very attractive young man.
“Nice to see you too,” I said. “How are things at Frostbites?”
“Oh gosh, yeah, great, business is totally booming,” he said.” What can I say? People like coffee and donuts; it’s all just working for me. Let me introduce you to everybody.” He walked me over to where he was stood, guiding me into their little group. “Guys, this is Brent Bridges, his daughter is in Jarrett’s class.”
“Hi,” I said. “How do you know Jarrett?” I asked, looking at both of them.
One with designer looking stubble and swept back dark hair and the most pruned eyebrows I had ever seen cracked a smile. “He’s our kid brother,” he said, reaching out a hand. “I’m Chasen, pleasure to meet you.”
“And I’m Slater,” the other said, a blond haired man with thick eyebrows and a very kind face. He looked like a combination of Chasen and Jarrett, which was sort of cool. He was wearing jeans covered in paint splatters and a fitted shirt that showed off how broad and muscular he was. Gosh, these Ewen brothers really were something. “Sorry about the paint,” he said. “I run an art studio downtown and was in the middle of working when I realized I was late. I hope the paparazzi didn’t pick up on it.”
“How embarrassing,” Tate groaned. “They both came along to support Jarrett. You know this was his venture, right?”
“Oh yeah,” I said. “He mentioned it at one point that he was working on the school talent show, I didn’t realize it was his idea though.”
“Very creative man, is Jarrett,” Chasen smiled. “On the sly though. We were hoping to see him before the show but he’s so busy sorting out finishing touches I guess we won’t until afterwards. He likes to think of himself as a serious teacher type but he has a flair for showbiz.”
“Oh my gosh, I’m definitely going to tease him about that later,” I said unable to stop the slight pang in my chest as I realized that I wouldn’t tease him about that later. I wondered if they knew that I’d not spoken to him in days. That I likely wouldn’t get a chance to speak to him tonight, at least not alone. Once the show was done I’d have to get Emery home. Maybe I’d try and sit by the door, sneak out quickly.
“If you�
��d like to take your seats, tonight’s performance is about to begin,” a suited man from near the auditorium doors said.
“We’d best go in,” Tate said with a smile. “We’ll probably see you afterwards, Brent. Lovely to see you.”
“And you Tate,” I said. I turned to Chasen and Slater. “Lovely to meet you both too. Enjoy the show.”
“And you,” Slater said.
I went in and sat down by myself and actually found myself enjoying the show. The kids were all adorable. Some of them performing little skits, others performing songs or dances. It was fun. It took my mind off things. And I couldn’t help but beam with pride when Emery came out and did her number. She was really spectacular. It’s possible I was being a little biased but she was better than the other children. I started to wonder if I should be putting her in singing and dancing classes. Maybe I’d ask her when she was done.
“If the audience could please remain seated for our finale!.”
An excited murmur ran through the audience, people wondering what was going on, what was about to happen.
The curtains opened on the stage to reveal Jarrett stood in a tux. I wanted to die. He looked truly handsome and it hurt me just to look at him up there no doubt being lusted over by every single person in this room, straight or gay, man or woman. There was a wolf whistle from somewhere in the crowd, I could only imagine it was from Tate or one of his brothers. A piano started to play and Jarrett’s eyes found mine. In a crowd of a hundred or so people, Jarrett found me and looked directly at me.
“This is for you, Brent,” he said, his eyes a little misty.
And then he started to sing. My eyes filled up and tears started to run down my face before I could stop them. He was singing to me, he was actually singing to me. People were staring, I could feel their eyes on me, but in that moment I didn’t care, all I cared about was that Jarrett was here and he was singing to me about…
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