The Ruins Of Us (Mayhem Book 3)

by Catharina Maura

  “Where are we?” I ask, my heart hammering in my chest. “This is not our house.”

  Dad looks slightly nervous as he glances at me, a tight smile on his face. “This is where I’ve been staying,” he tells me. “Remember, I told you about the nurses and the chef?”

  I stare at Dad in disbelief as he parks the car. I look up at the sprawling mansion in front of us, my heart in disarray. Slowly but surely, all the puzzle pieces are falling into place.

  I’m about to question Dad further and object, when his phone alarm goes off, and he stiffens. Dad deflates, a sad expression on his face. He turns off his alarm and looks at me. “It’s time for my dialysis,” he tells me, and the despair in his eyes guts me.

  I don’t have the heart to argue with him about him staying here, or about everything he seems to have kept from me. The last thing I want to do is hinder his treatments in any way.

  I grab his hand and follow him to his treatment room, my eyes widening when two nurses in uniform greet us as we walk in.

  I look around the room in surprise. It just looks like a luxurious sitting room, with some expensive looking equipment by the wall. I’m pretty sure those chairs are massage chairs too. Just how expensive is everything here?

  I sit down in the chair next to Dad’s, and I flinch when the nurse inserts a needle into his arm. His blood starts to flow through the tubes, and I look at it in horror, my eyes filling with tears all over again.

  Dad grabs my hand with his free hand and squeezes. “It’s okay,” he tells me. “It’s fine.”

  I shake my head and sniff, trying my best not to cry. “It’s not, Daddy. Let’s go to the hospital tomorrow. I want to get tested. If I can, I’d like to donate my kidney. I just want you to get better as soon as possible.”

  Dad looks at me, panicked, and he swallows hard. “Absolutely not,” he says, sounding angry. “I will never accept that, Emilia. Get that off your mind right now. If you so much as dare to even get tested against my wishes I’ll put you back on a plane myself.”

  I sigh and lean back, my head dropping to his shoulder. I knew he’d be stubborn about this. It seems like I’ll have to ease him into the idea of accepting a kidney donation from me, if I’m even a match at all. He looks grumpy, but he presses a kiss on top of my hair, and I smile to myself.

  Dad turns on the huge TV on the wall and I smile when he puts a chick flick on, obviously for me. He wraps his arm around me and I lean against him as we watch the movie. I’m exhausted from the endless worry in the last couple of days, and the flight on top of that, but it’s so good to be here with dad. I know there isn’t anything I can actually do right now, but just being able to hold his hand while he’s undergoing dialysis seems to make him happy.

  “Tell me everything, Dad. Sam filled me in on what to expect, but tell me how it’s been. Tell me how you feel, and tell me what I can do. Tell me how to make you feel better.”

  Dad presses another kiss on top of my head as he fills me in on all the medical procedures I had no idea he even underwent. I can’t believe there’s so much I missed out on, so much I wasn’t there for. I need to make sure I’m by his side for everything from now on. I can’t believe he’s been going through all of this by himself. What kind of daughter am I? How could I not have known? How could I not have been there for him?

  Chapter 6

  Emilia

  I wake up in a familiar bed and smile happily. How many times have I been here? How many times has my mind taken me back to these precious moments? I’ve had this exact dream for years now, and I still can’t get enough of it. It replays in the exact same way every time, as though I’m watching a highlight reel of my favorite memories.

  I turn over and trace the edges of the pillow next to mine with my fingers. I grin and scoot over to his side of the bed. It’s still warm, so I know he can’t have been up for long. I bury my face in his pillow and inhale deeply, my lungs filling with his scent, the butterflies in my stomach set ablaze. Carter.

  It’s only in this dream that I feel this alive. I can’t tell if any of these memories, these dreams, are even real. I don’t know if they’re a figment of my imagination, a glorification of the past. They must be, because real life can’t ever have been this good. The happiness I feel when I have this dream… it can’t be real.

  I sigh and sit up, the sheets falling to my waist. Even though he was with me just moments ago, I miss him already. My heart feels empty, the yearning heartbreaking in the best way. I bite down on my lip and rise to my feet, the floor cold underneath my feet. My eyes fall to the hooks we put on the door together, my robe hanging from one of them. I slip it on and tie the sash around my waist, grinning all the while, because I know it won’t stay on for very long.

  I walk out of our bedroom, our apartment so tiny that his eyes find mine the second the door closes behind me. Carter is standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing more than boxers. My eyes roam over his body, a pang of longing coursing through me.

  He catches me looking and smirks as he leans back against the kitchen counter, his body on display for me. I walk up to him, and his hands thread through my hair the second I’m within reach. His lips find mine, and I rise to my tiptoes, my hands sliding over his shoulders and around his neck. Carter’s lips feel soft against mine, and the gentleness he kisses me with make my heart overflow with happiness. I pull away and he drops his forehead to mine.

  “Morning, Minx,” he whispers.

  My eyes flutter closed and I inhale deeply. His voice, his touch, the nickname that’s exclusively his to use… I tighten my grip on him and hug him tightly, loving the feel of his body against mine. Standing here with him makes me feel like everything is right in the world.

  Carter hugs me back, and I press my lips against his neck. I kiss him softly, and a shiver runs down his body. I smile to myself and kiss him again, teasing him.

  “Minx,” he warns.

  I giggle and pull away. Carter looks at me, his hazel eyes filled with wonder. Every once in a while, he looks at me as though I can’t be real, like he can’t believe we finally made it, that we finally ended up together.

  He shakes his head and hands me a cup of coffee. I glance at the cup, and my heart starts to race.

  “Coffee in your favorite mug,” he tells me, and I take it from him with a smile, my eyes dropping back to the cup he asked me to be his girlfriend with.

  “Thank you, babe,” I murmur, lifting it to my lips. Carter grins, and I narrow my eyes, the cup pressed against my lips. I pull it away and lift it to his lips instead. “Actually, I don’t trust you. Taste test,” I tell him, and Carter bursts out laughing.

  “Damn it, Minx,” he says, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “What gave me away? I promise this time I didn’t do anything too weird. I love you too much for that. No salt or anything. I just didn’t put sugar in, that’s all.”

  I shake my head and keep the cup lifted up for him. “Nope,” I say, trying my best to look stern, and failing because he makes me feel so incredibly giddy.

  Carter laughs, and the sound goes straight to my core. I’ve never considered anyone’s laugh to be sexy, no one’s but his. I watch him as he takes a sip from the coffee, and he shrugs.

  “Told you, baby,” he tells me. “It’s just coffee, sans the sugar.”

  I purse my lips and take the cup back, taking a teeny tiny sip, cautiously.

  Carter laughs and wraps his hands around my waist, my robe coming undone. “I love you so much,” he says, his voice soft.

  I lean in and press a quick kiss to his lips. “I love you more, babe.”

  Carter lifts me onto the counter, and I almost spill my coffee. “Careful,” I warn him. “I love this t-shirt.”

  He glances at the t-shirt I stole from him and shakes his head. “Minx, I have dozens of those t-shirts,” he says. “Matter of fact, I think I should get you out of this one.”

  I wrap my legs around his waist, a thrill coursing through me when I feel his hardness against
my inner thigh. Carter takes my coffee cup from me and puts it down on the kitchen counter.

  In one fell swoop he’s got me in his arms, his arm underneath my knee and my head lying against his chest.

  Instead of supporting my back, his hand clutches onto my ass, and he squeezes tightly. I giggle as he carries me back to our bedroom.

  I lift my hand to his face, my fingers tracing over his face, from his forehead down his nose and over his lips. I smile and wrap my hand around his neck as I pull him closer. My lips brush against his, and he inhales sharply. I grin and graze his lower lip with my teeth the way he likes, and he groans.

  He sits down on our bed with me in his lap, and I pull his face back against mine. I kiss him, properly this time.

  Carter doesn’t kiss me back. Instead, he freezes, his grip on me becoming painfully tight. I whine in discomfort, the dream slowly slipping away.

  My eyes open, and my heart stills when they settle on hazel-colored eyes. Somehow, I’m in Carter’s arms, and this time, it’s not a dream.

  Chapter 7

  Carter

  I’m quiet as I walk into my house late at night. I’ve been unable to focus on work all day, much to Asher’s dismay. All I’ve been able to think about is Emilia. Just the thought of seeing her again makes me nervous. I’ve been overthinking everything. I have no idea how she feels about me, how she’s feeling about her dad’s diagnosis, how hard it might be to be back here, to see my family again. I don’t know what to say to her, how to even greet her. Do I even still have the right to call her Minx?

  The entire house is silent as I walk to John’s treatment room, and I check my watch. He should be finishing his dialysis right about now. I hesitate before I enter the room, my hand against the doorknob. I freeze in the doorway, my eyes finding her immediately. I stand there and just stare at her speechlessly. Emilia is fast asleep in the chair beside John’s, and I can’t tear my eyes away from her. She’s even more beautiful than she used to be, even with those dark circles underneath her eyes. My heart races yet aches at the same time, a thousand different feelings slamming through me.

  When I finally manage to tear my eyes away from her, I find John looking at me with a knowing smile on his face. I inhale deeply and shake my head. I’m willing to bet that the only reason he finally agreed to move in with me was because he knew she’d be coming back soon. I don’t know what he’s thinking, that crazy old man.

  “She’s asleep,” John whispers. “She sleeps like the dead, but she’ll hurt her neck if she spends all night here. Why don’t you carry her to her room?”

  It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that the chair she’s in flattens to a full-on bed, but I shake my head instead. It’s not like I’d actually leave her here anyway. I nod at him and approach her silently, my heart hammering in my chest. It’s been years since I’ve seen her. This all feels so surreal. I always thought I might run into her again one day, but never like this.

  I sigh and lift her into my arms carefully. Emilia stirs in my arms, but then she sighs and rubs her head against my chest. I smile down at her subconsciously. Just having her back in my arms messes with my heart. All these feelings that I thought were gone came rushing back the second I touched her, and I wish I could just keep her in my arms. I wish the walk to her room was just a little longer.

  I carry her to the room I prepared for her, the one right next to John’s, and she moves in my arms restlessly. Emilia drags her nose along my neck and a delicious shiver runs down my spine. I freeze, my eyes falling closed. She sighs and presses a soft kiss to my neck, and I bite down on my lip to suppress a groan.

  I’m about to put her down on her bed when she wraps her arms around my neck, holding on tightly. For a second I think she’s woken up, but she hasn’t. She’s still asleep, but she’s restless, a frown on her face. I sit down on her bed with her in my lap.

  “What has you frowning like that in your sleep, Minx?” I whisper. She sighs at the sound of my voice, and her expression softens. Within seconds she’s calm and fast asleep again. I look at her for a couple of seconds, her beautiful face, those lips that I’ve always loved, her blonde hair that’s still in the same style she’s always had it. Looking at her like this, it’s so easy to imagine her the way she used to be. Back when she was still mine.

  I turn to put her down, and Emilia stirs. Her lashes flutter and she smiles. I inhale sharply, my heart racing. It’s been years since I’ve seen her smile. The countless pictures I have of her can’t compare to the real thing.

  Emilia sighs and tightens her grip on me, her palm flat on the back of my neck. I wonder what she’s dreaming of. I wonder what’s making her lips tip up in a faint mischievous smile like that.

  She pulls me closer and my eyes fall to her lips. How long has it been since I kissed her? I still remember the way she used to groan every time I’d tease her by withholding a kiss, my lips hovering over hers the way they are now. She’d glare at me and then she’d pull me in, kissing me like there’s no tomorrow.

  I bite down on my lip and tear my gaze away from her. I’m so tempted to steal a single kiss from her, but I can’t. I won’t.

  I’m surprised when Emilia pulls me closer, her lips brushing against mine. Emilia kisses me softly, gently, her lips soft against mine, and I freeze, my entire body tense.

  Emilia pulls away, a dissatisfied frown on her face. Her lashes flutter, and she blinks lazily, her eyes finding mine.

  Not even the videos I’ve got of her do her eyes justice. They can’t capture the beautiful specks of golden brown in her eyes, or the way her lips turn up just slightly when she looks at me.

  “Carter,” she whispers, and my heart starts to race. How long has it been since I last heard her say my name? She smiles up at me dreamily, and I’m taken right back to the countless times I’ve woken up to her, this exact same expression on her face.

  Emilia blinks a couple of times, disoriented, and then she stiffens. She sits up, still in my lap, and looks at me in shock. “Carter,” she repeats, her tone entirely different. She pushes away from me and rises to her feet, practically jumping off my lap, her eyes wide.

  “Emilia,” I murmur, leaning back on her bed. My eyes roam over her body and I bite down on my lip. I knew seeing her would impact me, but this is unreal. My heart races, and I’m oddly nervous. When is the last time I was nervous?

  Emilia stiffens as she wraps her arms around herself, and I tear my eyes away from her.

  “I…” she says, clearly uncomfortable. I take her in, truly this time, and I can’t help but frown. She just got here, so why is she wearing a pencil skirt and a blouse? She can’t be comfortable in that, and the Emilia I used to know never would have travelled wearing something like that.

  I rise to my feet and smile at her. “You fell asleep in your dad’s treatment room,” I tell her, and she nods.

  The way she’s got her arms wrapped around herself screams discomfort, and I hate that I’m someone she feels uncomfortable around.

  “Your dad asked me to carry you to your room,” I explain, wanting to reassure her, and Emilia nods again. She clears her throat and looks at me, and it’s like I’m some stranger she’s only just meeting for the first time. There’s no familiarity in her eyes, and the physical distance she’s keeping from me speaks volumes.

  “Thank you,” she says, nodding politely. “I understand you’ve taken great care of my father, and I’m beyond thankful, Carter. I had no idea you’ve been doing so much for him. Truthfully, I had no idea you two were close at all. I have no idea how to repay you for everything you’ve done.”

  I shake my head, my heart twisting painfully. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I thought that when we finally ran into each other again, it’d be different somehow.

  “I’m happy to do it, Emilia. Over the years your father has become someone I consider to be my family. You don’t need to be thankful in the slightest.”

  She nods and tightens her grip on her upper arms, h
er skin turning red just slightly. “I don’t know what to say, truly. I’ll do my best to stay out of your way. I know Dad wants me to stay here, but it’s probably best if I stay at my old house. I don’t want to inconvenience you in the slightest.”

  I shake my head and look at her. “Don’t. He’s been so optimistic lately, and having you around is going to help. If you go back to your old house, he’ll want to follow. I can’t stop him if he wants to do that, but the level of care I can provide him with here is far higher.”

  Emilia nods and looks around the room, her eyes lingering on some of the decorations. Some of it is stuff she bought when we first moved in together, and I could just never bare to get rid of it. I guess I expected a reaction of sorts, because disappointment fills me when I don’t see recognition in her eyes.

  “I’ll leave you to settle in,” I tell her, even though the last thing I want to do is walk away from her.

  Emilia nods at me, and I turn to walk away, my heart in disarray.

  Chapter 8

  Emilia

  I wake up just as the sun rises and get ready on auto pilot, the way I have for years. I could barely sleep last night. All I could think about was Carter. I didn’t expect to see him. I certainly didn’t expect to be staying in his house.

  I inhale deeply as I make my way down, tired to the bone. My mind flashes back to how I woke up in his arms last night. For a couple of seconds, I thought I’d still been dreaming. I was so close to reaching out and kissing him. I wanted to thread my hand through his hair and lose myself in him, the way I do in my dreams. My heart clenches painfully and I shake my head. Being here, being around him is already messing with my mind, with my heart. I’ve spent years convincing myself that I’m over him, and right when I was ready to let go and move in with Sam, life pulled me back to him.