I was a Bet

by Mansi Negi

  "Yes, is he home?" I asked as I began to ascend the stairs to his apartment.

  "He's home. He brought me dinner... Mr. Jonas did. He brought me dinner he sure did Mr. Jonas did." The man babbled about Jonas bringing him dinner and I thought about how hungry Jonas had seemed tonight.

  This man was clearly unstable and strung out on drugs. Had Jonas maybe become an addict too? The thought had an ache radiating through my chest. That would absolutely tear me apart.

  I knocked on the door. Inside I heard music playing. I knocked again, louder this time.

  "Jesus Christ Frank! What..." Jonas slung open the door and stood wide eyed, shocked to see me standing there. His bare chest still looked muscular but his ribs were more pronounced.

  He wasn't eating well if at all, and for the first time I wondered if maybe being away from me was having the same effect on him that it had on me.

  "Delilah." He stared down, then looked behind me his eyes rifling through the garage. They landed on every nook and cranny like he was making sure I wasn't hiding someone somewhere.

  "What the hell are you doing here?" He asked gruffly, grabbing a hold of my arm and pulling me inside, while swiftly shutting the door behind me.

  "You can't be here Delilah!" He barked as he quickly and deliberately shot across the expanse of the apartment looking out all of the windows, like someone might be watching the place.

  "What's going on Jonas? Are you in some kind of trouble?" I asked, which was not my intent for the conversation, but he was acting totally paranoid.

  "Did anyone see you come here? Was there anyone out there when you came in?" He asked, sounding panicked.

  "What? No, just that homeless guy." I said, watching him pace one last time from window to window before turning and walking over to me.

  "Frank." He almost whispered, and it took me a moment to process what he'd said.

  "What?" I asked... thinking he was seriously losing his mind.

  "You said that homeless guy... his name's Frank." He corrected me, his hair was disheveled, he had showered somewhere and not combed it. I could smell the body wash through the dense overwhelming smell of cigarettes in the apartment.

  "Oh, yes... umm." My heart started to beat as he came closer, closing in on me like a cougar would on his prey.

  "I asked you a question." His voice was an unpleasant growl. He raised his brow and brought a bottle, that I hadn't noticed he was carrying until now, to his lips, taking a swig of the brown liquid inside.

  I racked through the slew of questions he had thrown at me when I'd first arrived, trying to remember what he'd asked.

  His eyes stared into mine as he stalked closer, finally coming to a stop a few feet away.

  He tilted his head to the side and a hiccup made its way out of his mouth before he lifted the bottle and took another sip, his eyes narrowing on me, like I'd just ruined his entire day... maybe his year.

  My eyes panned around the apartment. It was bare. The trash had been picked up, but the floor was still dirty, and ashes could be seen sporadically across the wood panels.

  A dingy white sofa was the only furniture in here and a lamp that cast a golden hue through the space sat beside it.

  "Well?" Jonas looked down at me, waiting for my response.

  "Well w-what?" I asked, stuttering a bit. I shouldn't have come here. I could feel the tension growing between us. I was suffocating in it, it was so thick.

  "I asked what in the hell you were doing here?" He stepped closer and I stepped back away from him. My back meeting the door.

  "I-I need closure Jonas... I need to move on. I can't..."1

  "Because of that dick you were out with tonight?" Jonas interrupted, an edge tainting his voice that sent a ripple of fear down my spine.

  "I won't give you what you want Delilah, not so you can move on with that douche bag." He moved even closer to me, so that we were toe to toe.

  From here I could smell the liquor on his breath. He swayed slightly with drunkenness.

  "Did he touch you?" His tone lowered as his eyes connected with mine menacingly.

  "Is that why you're here... to rub that shit in my face? To let me know he's doing all the things to you that I..." he stopped himself and I wish he hadn't. All the things that what, that he couldn't do?2

  "No Jonas. I didn't come here to rub anything in your face. I just need to know why you don't want me, was I really just a bet to you?"

  He ignored me. "Did he touch you Delilah?" His voice was authoritative, demanding an answer.

  "It's not your business Jonas." I responded harshly. Why did he care any way.

  "You're in my house! I would watch the tone you take with me Princess. Nobody saw you come in, remember?" He didn't sound playful anymore. What was that supposed to be, some kind of threat?

  I stared up at him, my back planted flat against the only escape in the place. I was trapped.1

  "Don't threaten me Jonas. You owe me..."

  "I don't owe you shit! You want a reason to hate me? Fine! I'm a fucking dick! I'm living in squalor... you were right about me from the beginning... but don't come into my house on your high horse demanding shit, that Princess... will not end well for you." He lifted the bottle to his lips.

  "Answer my fucking question... did that dick put his hands on you?" Before I knew what I was doing I had grabbed the bottle from his hand. He was wasted.

  He was beyond drunk, and threatening me... I knew Jonas well enough to know his bark was worse than his bite, but if he continued to drink like these things might escalate and become out of control.

  "Really?" He slurred as he stumbled to the side and I shot across the room with the bottle.

  "You can have this back when you answer some of my questions, and by the way Jack is not a dick... he's actually a nice guy." I said, holding the bottle behind my back.

  2

  History repeats

  "You show up at my house acting like you own the place... and now you're defending another guy! only my girl would be able to act like that and get away with it. Do you want me to show you how I would treat my girl Lyla?" His voice was playful again, and the way he stared at me made my insides quiver.

  "No, Jonas... I want you to show me how you would treat me." I looked at him seriously... I was his girl less than two months ago. I hated him talking about it like it was theoretical, this wasn't our first rodeo, and he wasn't going to treat me like some random slut.

  He stiffened at my words, and I watched his eyes momentarily drift shut to hide his emotions.1

  "Delilah." My name unraveled from his tongue flowing through his throat like velvet... heady and full of want. It was probably just the alcohol making him sound that way, I reassured myself and shook my head a bit, to erase the sound of it from my mind.

  "Delilah... baby..." he ran his hand through his messy long hair, and another hiccup erupted through his lips.

  There was no mistaking his seductive tone this time. Good god! Goosebumps erupted across my skin.

  "Be a good girl Delilah and bring that bottle back over to me." He purred, taking a few steps toward me before swaying and leaning his weight on a wood beam that ran from the floor to the ceiling.

  He really was totally drunk, but when he spoke to me this way it fogged my senses, making me temporarily useless at defending myself.

  "I think you've had enough Jonas." I stammered, sounding too needy for him. I had to knock it off.

  This was Jonas, he'd pick up on it in a heartbeat.

  "That's the wrong answer sweet heart." He pushed off of the beam and sauntered toward me. Another hiccup making its way from between his lips.

  "You're completely wasted Jonas." I said, while backing away from him.

  "Am I? Completely wasted Delilah?" How did he do that to his voice, it was so deep and raspy... I immediately felt the heat go up in the room.

  He smirked at me as my legs hit the back of the couch and I had nowhere to go. "Bad...bad... girl." He let the drunken words roll o
ff of his tongue as his eyes raked up and down my body, shamelessly.

  I knew I should stop him. I knew where he would go with this, but Something inside of me wanted him to continue, I wanted to feel like he wanted me the way I wanted him... I almost needed it. How pathetic was I right now?

  He closed in on me, and I felt my chest start to heave with nervousness. What did he have planned now? He brought his face to right in front of mine.

  His breath, smelled of liquor mingled with the familiar scent of mint and cigarettes I'd longed to smell for too long. It tickled across my lips, kicking my libido into overdrive. I closed my eyes and didn't even try to hide it as I inhaled the smell of him.

  His fingers landed on my shoulders gently running up my neck and then to the thin straps of my romper slowly sliding them down my shoulders.

  "I'll ask you one more time, and I need you to tell me this time, did. he. touch. you?" His voice was softer now and more eager. I opened my eyes and saw him staring playfully at the white straps he had slid over my shoulders.2

  "He kissed me." I said. It came out as a whisper, and I hung my head embarrassed.

  I shouldn't have been embarrassed, it really was none of his business, but I didn't want him to stop what he was doing. I'd wanted this for so long.

  "And you let him?" He asked, as he slid the straps further down my arms, wrapping his arms around the back of me to do so, until they met where I held the bottle behind my back.

  The romper slid down my body exposing my bra and stomach to Jonas' heady gaze.

  "Good fucking god." He whispered as he stared down at me. I loved how alcohol thickened his accent.

  He grabbed a hold of the bottle and pulled it from my hands, tossing it on to the couch, I glanced back to see it hadn't spilled.

  He slid the straps off of my hands taking hold of my wrists behind my back as he let the romper fall to the floor at my feet.

  "You're beautiful... so fucking beautiful." He said as his eyes worshiped my exposed figure. He held my hands behind my back with one hand and brought his other up to my face, caressing my lips with his thumb.

  I instinctually kissed his thumb as he caressed my neck with his fingers.

  "Don't ever kiss another man with these lips." He slid his hand down my neck and slowly pushed me down on to the couch behind me.

  "These lips belong to me. Do you understand?" He knelt down in front of me, bringing my chin between his thumb and fingers.

  I nodded my head in understanding. "Say it." He leaned in and started to open his mouth over the bare flesh exposed at the top of my chest and I moaned at the feeling of his mouth on me again, even in his drunken state he maintained perfect control over my body.

  "Tell me who these lips belong to." He said again as he ran his mouth over mine. God damn it! How did I get here? I wanted answers, and I was under his control again.

  I wasn't going to stop now though... everything inside of my body was on fire for him. I'd have told him he was God right now if he'd asked me to.2

  "They belong to you." I panted into his mouth as he ran his hand up my thigh and over my lace panties tugging at them gently.

  "Say my name." He commanded.

  "Jonas." His name came out as a moan as his thumb swirled over the front of my panties, finding the perfect spot to have me coming undone in no time.

  "Again." He growled, ripping at the thin lace material, until my panties were in two pieces lying on the floor in front of us.

  "Jonas!" I screamed out as he sunk two of his fingers deep into me with one hand and pushed me on to my back with the other.

  He wasted no time pushing me to my side and sliding his body behind me, bringing his mouth to my ear as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of me, grinding his erection against my ass every time he pulled me back against him.

  "Did Tyler make you cum on his fingers first?" He asked quietly at my ear.2

  "Jonas!" I said harshly.

  "Didn't think so..." he bit my earlobe and teased the back of my neck with his tongue.

  "That's because he doesn't know your body like I do. No one does Delilah, no one will ever make you feel as good as I do." He purred from behind my ear as my legs began to shake.

  "That's it, come for me." He commanded as he pulled his hand from me and began to run it back and forth quickly over my bundle of nerves, until I was screaming his name again.

  He pinned himself against me moaning praise into my ear as I convulsed for him over and over again.

  "Spread your legs." Jonas commanded as he climbed over top of me, reaching behind my back to unhook my bra and pull it from my body, leaving me completely bare and exposed to him. I wiggled my body nervously underneath him.

  "Don't be embarrassed." He said staring down at me. "You have nothing to be embarrassed of, you're the most beautiful sight I've ever laid eyes on Delilah... your body was made to be worshiped... it was made for me." He ran his hand from my neck down my chest, letting it glide between my breasts and down my stomach.

  "I'm going to worship you with my mouth... I need to taste you again." It was uncanny how we just fell back together like this, every piece between us fitting perfectly back into place.

  Right now, it felt like the past five weeks hadn't even happened. I bit my lip in anticipation. His eyes caught the action and lingered at my lips.

  "Do you want it?" He smirked at me.

  "Yes Jonas." I looked pleadingly at him, and again I felt him caress me from somewhere inside, like he had slid his hand down the back of my mind telling me good job.

  His hands gripped the back of my thighs lifting them off of the couch as he ducked under my legs wrapping them around his neck.

  "Let me hear you scream for me." He said his husky tone sending shivers through my lower belly as his mouth connected with my sensitive flesh and he began to suck me into it, his tongue plunging into me and swirling against me.

  His hands came over my thighs and his finger and thumb found my swollen clit rubbing it and flicking me in such a way that had my body erupting into tremors.2

  "Jonas! Ahh, fuck, yes!" I couldn't help but scream. His head came up momentarily as he continued to tease me with his hand.

  "Look at me, look at me while I'm fucking you with my mouth. Let me watch you cum!" He growled down at me. My eyes opened and I looked up at him, watching his head bob between my legs and his cheeks hollow out as he sucked my tender flesh.

  His lust filled eyes watched me as I began to shake again. A smile showed on his face as he looked down at me and I felt my orgasm come crashing into my body hard.

  He was relentless with his tongue. Never stopping the entire time.

  "God you're perfect Princess." He smiled at me as he pulled away, wiping the wetness away from his chin with the back of his arm.

  "Let me have all of you, I'll never forgive myself if you leave here and I never had all of you Lyla."

  "Wait... what?! Are you actually fucking serious right now Jonas? You were just going to have sex with me and disappear again?"

  5

  It’s Over

  I scrambled backward trying to get away from him, wriggling my feet to retreat from underneath of his body, only to be met with the back of the couch.

  How had I been so oblivious to the fact that this was his farewell. He stared at me instead of speaking, a brief flash of panic in his glossy eyes.

  "Say something!" I barked, no longer under his spell. Everything inside of me was screaming for me to run, to run to the door and leave and never come back.

  It was what I needed to do.

  "It's not like that Lyla..." he finally said, resting his knees beneath him on the couch and running his hand through his hair.

  He hung his head and mumbled something incoherent to himself under his breath.1

  "Really? Then what's it like Jonas?" My anger was growing. My hands wrapped my body to cover my nakedness.

  Stupid! I cursed myself for falling into this position again, but I loved him, I really lo
ved him with every fiber of my being.

  "You wouldn't understand..." he whispered and let out a long sigh.

  "Can't we just have this one night together, you're already here, we can't undo what's been done... can't we have one night, you don't know." He swallowed back tears.

  "You don't know how much I've dreamed of having you here... like this. We don't have to sleep together, but please don't leave, not yet." His voice sounded desperate, and I could tell whatever he'd wanted to tell me earlier was near the surface. Trying to claw its way out.

  "Jonas..." I said, grabbing my romper from the floor and shimmying it up my legs and into place.

  "I can't do this anymore... I love you." It was my turn to fight back tears. "I'm right here in front of you telling you that I love you and I want you, but if you're going to keep pushing me away after tonight, I can't stay.

  I'll leave. I'll leave tonight and never look back."2

  A tremor ran through his body and he reached out to touch me, but stopped himself and pulled his arm back.

  "It's probably for the best then... that you go." He whispered, and buried his face in his hands.

  "Really?! If you wanted me to hate you Jonas, then you've succeeded! I hate you! I never want to see you again!" Tears scolded my eyes and ran down my cheeks and he didn't remove his face from his hands to look up and see as I stood.

  "A fucking bet! I hope it was worth it." My body quaked with hurt as my sobs grew heavier.

  "Don't hate me... you were never just a bet to me Lyla..." his words were barely audible and laced with shame. It only fed my anger more.

  "Yes, I was! Don't lie to me! You'd rather share your home with a homeless man than with me Jonas, fuck that, and fuck you!" It was true. I didn't need his, "it's not you it's me bullshit" right now.

  "Lyla!" He shot up coming face to face with me. His cheeks were stained with tears.

  "He only lives here because I know what it's like to need something so much, to be so addicted to it that you'd do anything for it. I know what it's like to want that one last hit so badly and know that if you give yourself over to the addiction you'll be hooked all over again." He said it thoughtfully, truthfully as he lifted a lock of my hair between his fingers, bringing it to his face where he closed his eyes and inhaled the scent.