A Time to Tell

by Maria Savva

  Benjamin placed a hand on his forehead. ‘This is different.’

  ‘In what way?’

  ‘I wasn’t around for Penny when she was growing up or when her husband was beating her black and blue. I owe it to her.’

  ‘If you do anything to David, you’ll be in trouble. You’ll go to prison. Do you realise that?’

  ‘I’ve got nothing else to live for. I’ve lost Claire and Amy. I don’t mind doing time. I have to find this man, he won’t get away with what he did to Penny.’ With that he left the room.

  ‘Benjamin!’ she shouted after him, shuddering as the front door slammed shut.

  Gloria entered the bedroom when Benjamin had left. Her body language screamed dejection. She sat on the chair and looked at her hands. ‘Cara, I’ve decided I’m going to make a statement against David.’ Her eyes were full of tears, her voice shaky. ‘I have to. I’ve just seen the rest of the house. He’s broken things.’ She rubbed her forehead and addressed her sister, eyes pleading: ‘Have you had time to think about it yet?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I’ll make a statement too.’

  Gloria smiled and took Cara’s hand in hers. ‘You won’t regret it. I’ll call the police and let them know.’

  Gloria returned to the bedroom a few minutes later, a frown on her face.

  Cara smiled at her, in an attempt to break through the tension.

  ‘They’ve already released him,’ said Gloria, who was standing at the bedroom door.

  ‘David?’

  ‘Yes, the policewoman I spoke to said they didn’t have any power to hold him at the police station. They couldn’t charge him. All they did was warn him about causing any more trouble here and let him go.’

  ‘But… but he had a gun,’ said Cara.

  ‘Yes, apparently it was a toy one.’

  ‘A toy? B-but he held it to my face. It looked real.’

  Gloria shook her head.

  ‘He smelt of alcohol. Couldn’t they have kept him there until he sobered up?’ she asked. ‘And what about his threatening behaviour?’

  ‘The policewoman said he behaved himself at the police station, and they couldn’t charge him without our statements. What if he comes back here?’

  ‘Didn’t you tell the policewoman he might come here?’

  ‘Yes, she said we should phone them straight away if he does. There’s nothing they can do because they’ve already let him go.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Glor, I should have agreed to make a statement earlier. You wanted to. I’m so stupid.’ She held her head.

  Gloria sat on the edge of her bed. ‘At least Benjamin will be staying here tonight so we won’t be alone,’ she said.

  Cara nodded, but then she remembered that Benjamin had gone to find David.

  Benjamin slammed the front door shut and stood outside Gloria’s house. He took a deep breath, aware his inability to rein in his anger had caused so much damage in the past. Somehow it had all returned to find him like an old friend.

  He tried to calm down by telling himself it was only natural that he felt outraged: he loved Penelope, and David had hurt her; any father would feel the same. He took another deep breath.

  The desire to hurt David was uppermost in his mind as he made his way to the police station. As he walked towards the high street his pace was steady and firm, he felt ready for a confrontation. He thought of his daughter and, as he did so, battled between wanting to retain his control and wanting to give David a taste of his own medicine. All the lessons from the anger management classes dissolved in a tide of emotion.

  As he turned the corner of Hammond Street his chest expanded and his features locked into a stern grimace, like a boxer psyching himself up for an important fight. His pace quickened and he almost bumped into a small dark-haired woman walking hand in hand with a young girl of about two or three years of age. The little girl’s hair was dark, too, tied up in two neat pigtails—the woman’s daughter perhaps.

  He looked at the woman’s face and saw her shrink back in fear. Her eyes met his and she flinched.

  ‘Sorry,’ he said, realising his gait must have been intimidating. He loosened his shoulders.

  The woman took the child in her arms.

  He watched as she scurried past him like a petrified mouse.

  Gloria brought the cordless telephone into Cara’s bedroom. ‘Catherine’s on the phone for you.’

  ‘Thank you.’ She took the phone and watched Gloria walk out of the bedroom. This would be the first time she’d spoken to Catherine since meeting with Benjamin. Should she tell her she’d seen him? Perhaps it was too soon. She placed the telephone against her ear: ‘Hello, Cathy dear.’

  ‘Hi, Mum, how are you?’

  ‘Fine, thanks. How are Tom and the children?’

  ‘Great,’ she said. ‘I’ve been really worried about you since Tom told me David came here yesterday. Did Aunty Glor give you the message?’

  ‘Yes, dear.’

  ‘Tom’s sorry he told David where you are. He didn’t know why David and Penny split up. David lied to him, said they’d argued and Penny had run off taking the children. Tom said he was really insistent and wouldn’t leave without some information. Tom felt sorry for him.’ She was talking quickly.

  ‘Don’t worry, darling,’ said Cara. ‘I’m all right.’

  ‘But what if David goes to Huddlesea? I wouldn’t put it past him. Tom’s told him Penny’s not with you, but—’

  ‘Please don’t worry about me, David has already been here.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘This morning. He caused a scene and Glor had to call the police, but they’ve warned him off.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re all right?’

  ‘Yes, dear, he only wanted to know where Penny is, but I think he’s got the message that I don’t know. He won’t bother us again.’ She recalled David’s eyes so full of hatred and felt a sense of fear, knowing he could return without warning.

  ‘I’m so glad you’re okay,’ said Catherine. ‘I’ll come to see you soon. I’ll phone Jamie and ask him to come too. I assume he’s back from South Africa.’

  Cara had images of Catherine, James, and Benjamin being reunited. Maybe if he saw his brother and sister he would feel more able to face up to the past.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  ‘The idyllic town of Huddlesea was shaken this morning by the news of a death. The body of a thirty-year-old male was discovered at the foot of Stoneleigh Cliffs by a local man walking his dog. Stoneleigh is a renowned suicide hotspot, but suspicious circumstances have not been ruled out. The identity of the deceased is not yet being disclosed, but it is understood he was not from the local area and that he had been questioned by police yesterday in connection with a domestic argument. He was released without charge early yesterday afternoon.’

  Cara knew at once: David was dead. Yesterday he’d been standing here in this room threatening to kill her. Alive. Living and breathing. The shock hit her like a bolt of lightning. ‘Glor!’ she shouted, frantically. ‘Glor!’

  Gloria rushed into the bedroom, dressed in her nightgown. ‘What is it, Cara? Are you all right?’

  ‘David is dead.’

  ‘Wh-what? How?’

  ‘It was on the news.’ Cara pointed to the television.

  Gloria turned to face the screen but saw only the weatherman as the news had by now finished. She turned to her sister, disbelief evident in her wrinkled brow. ‘Cara? Are you feeling all right? Why would it be on the news?’

  ‘He fell from Stoneleigh Cliffs.’

  ‘He killed himself?’ Gloria asked slowly, eyebrows raised.

  ‘I don’t know. Maybe.’ Cara felt her cheeks burn with the memories that still managed to disturb her more than fifty years later.

  Gloria sat on the chair next to the bed. ‘Wh-what did the news say exactly?’

  ‘They found a man dead at Stoneleigh this morning and he wasn’t local.’

  ‘So they didn’t say his name?’

>   ‘No.’

  ‘It could be anyone.’

  ‘No, it said that the police questioned him about a domestic argument yesterday.’

  ‘Hmm…’ Gloria narrowed her eyes in thought. ‘He definitely wasn’t in control of his senses yesterday, but it would make more sense that he would have come back here rather than kill himself.’

  Cara stiffened as she remembered how Benjamin had stormed out of the house. ‘Did you speak to Ben yesterday when he came home?’ she asked, agitated.

  ‘Yes,’ said Gloria, nodding.

  ‘How did he seem?’

  Gloria shrugged. ‘Fine… Well, a little upset about Claire, but, other than that, fine. He said he’d been walking, trying to clear his head. He was tired so he had some supper and went to bed early.’

  ‘Is he still at home?’ asked Cara.

  ‘Yes, I think so.’

  Just then, Benjamin walked in.

  ‘Speak of the devil,’ said Gloria.

  ‘Good morning. I’m off to work; it’s my last job in Huddlesea for a while, so I’m going to see Claire this evening to ask if she’ll let me move back home.’

  ‘All right, dear, but you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to.’

  ‘Thanks, Aunty Glor.’

  Cara searched his face for signs of guilt or remorse.

  He left the room.

  Later that morning, Gloria entered Cara’s bedroom followed by the female police officer who had been at the house the day before.

  ‘I’m afraid I’ve come with some bad news this morning,’ began the policewoman. ‘There isn’t an easy way to say this.’ Addressing Gloria, she said: ‘Perhaps you should sit down.’

  Gloria nodded and sat on the edge of Cara’s bed.

  ‘Early this morning, a local man was walking his dog near Stoneleigh Cliffs and he discovered a man’s body. We have identified him as David Truman, the man we questioned yesterday after you called us here.’

  ‘We heard the news this morning,’ said Cara.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ said the policewoman. She coughed. ‘We will need someone to formally identify the body. It’s procedural. I wonder if one of you would be willing to do that for us.’

  As Cara sat in the car on the way to the mortuary, she thought about David. Although they’d lived in the same house for years, she’d never really known him.

  When she first moved to Furley Avenue she’d spent some evenings in David’s company, occasionally joining the family for dinner, but as time went by she remained in her room on her own for the most part and didn’t associate with him.

  Their last encounter was a terrifying one, but she felt sad now, in denial of the circumstances in which she found herself.

  The policewoman wheeled Cara’s chair into the small room where David’s body lay. His skin was so white, almost translucent. As she stared in disbelief at the lifeless body, she preferred to imagine he had fallen asleep.

  He bore no resemblance to the manic man who’d forced his way into the house the day before and threatened to kill her.

  As she looked more closely, she recognised the slight kink in his nose, the way his hair parted to the left with a curl, and the mole on his chin. This ending she could never have foreseen. Along with the sense of relief that he could no longer hurt anyone, there pulsated a deep feeling of loss. Thinking of her own son Benjamin and how he had changed, succeeded in turning his life around, it saddened her that David would not be given that chance. She remembered him as a young man when Penelope first introduced him. She had liked him then. Cara wiped a tear from her eye.

  The policewoman drove them back home.

  ‘How did he die, Officer?’ asked Gloria.

  ‘A tragic accident, most probably. We found an empty bottle of whisky at the top of the cliff. It may or may not have belonged to the late Mr Truman; we’re waiting for the laboratory test results. The most probable explanation is that he fell from the cliffs: it’s a dangerous place to be walking, even if you’re sober, and there was a high wind last night. We are appealing for witnesses, but so far no one has come forward with any information. Of course, we’ll keep the case open until we’ve ascertained the cause of death. We can’t rule out the possibility of someone else being involved.’

  Cara avoided the policewoman’s eyes.

  The late news that evening contained a further story about David’s death. This time his name was mentioned and a photograph shown. Cara watched the news through sorrowful eyes.

  Benjamin entered her room when the news had finished and found her crying.

  ‘Mum? Are you all right?’

  ‘Have you heard the news?’ she asked.

  ‘What news?’

  ‘David’s dead,’ she said, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

  ‘David?’

  ‘Yes.’ She searched his face, checking again for any sign of remorse.

  ‘Who’s David?’ His features exuded bafflement.

  ‘Penny’s husband.’ Cara watched for his reaction. Surely there’d be clues in his behaviour if he’d been involved… He’d be anxious and agitated if he’d killed David.

  ‘Penny’s husband is dead?’ he asked.

  It might have been an accident, thought Cara. Perhaps they were arguing and David fell from the cliff. Her mind ran through the possibilities.

  ‘How did he die?’

  Was he trying to bluff her with the question?

  ‘He fell from Stoneleigh Cliffs. The police found him this morning.’ She continued to stare at her son.

  ‘Well.’ He shrugged. ‘Good riddance.’

  ‘How can you say that?’

  ‘Mum, he threatened to kill you yesterday. He used to beat Penny up. Why do you care so much now?’

  ‘I lived with David and Penny for five years,’ Cara said, sobbing. ‘I know he wasn’t perfect, but I can’t pretend he never existed. I had to go and identify his body today.’

  Benjamin sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. ‘I’m sorry.’

  She remembered the fury in his eyes just before he’d gone out the day before.

  ‘Are you all right?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes, I’m fine.’ She blew her nose and smiled sadly. ‘Ben. Yesterday, y-you were so angry, and you went out looking for David.’ She stopped.

  There followed an uncomfortable interlude of silence.

  Benjamin placed a hand over his mouth.

  She glanced up at him sheepishly, and he looked at the floor. ‘Wh-what happened?’ she asked quietly.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Yesterday you said you were going to look for—’

  ‘Oh, my God.’ He stood up and swiped a hand through his hair. ‘Yes, okay, yesterday I was angry when—’

  ‘Did you see him?’ asked Cara, nervously.

  ‘You think I killed him.’

  She wished she could retract her words.

  ‘You do, don’t you?’

  ‘Maybe I thought you might have got into a fight with David. As I said, yesterday you were s-so angry, I…’

  Benjamin sat down on the chair beside her bed and leaned forward, his head in his hands. Then he glared at her. ‘You actually think I killed him.’

  ‘I-I…’

  ‘Come on, admit it. You’re thinking that I caught up with him yesterday, and I beat him up and threw him off the cliff.’

  ‘No.’ She shook her head.

  Benjamin got up from the chair. ‘You’re so quick to jump to conclusions. Now do you understand why I don’t want to keep in contact with you?’

  Cara hated herself at that moment. She had waited so long for her son to come back into her life.

  ‘Shall I tell you what happened yesterday?’ He sat down again. ‘When I left here, I was angry. Yes, I was furious. I’d just heard that my mother had been terrorised by the brute who used to beat up my daughter. And yes, I did go looking for him, I wanted to give him a piece of my mind.’ He took a deep breath and exhaled. ‘Maybe I would have punched him
, I don’t know. But I never even saw him. Instead, I saw a woman walking in town with her young daughter; they reminded me of Claire and Amy. I remembered my row with Claire: when I told her about what I’d done to Maggie, she looked so scared.’ He stopped, as if he could not go on. After a brief pause, he resumed: ‘I went for a long walk and ended up standing on the edge of Stoneleigh Cliffs. I considered ending it all. I actually understood why people do it: why they kill themselves.’

  Their eyes met as he revealed this.

  Cara reddened, remembering her past. ‘Don’t say things like that!’

  ‘It’s true, Mum; I could have easily thrown myself off the cliff.’

  ‘Ben, you’re scaring me.’

  ‘Sorry.’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘It’s… Well, I really thought I had nothing left to lose. I made a decision, standing on those cliffs: I’m never going back to how I used to be. I decided it wouldn’t be worth trying to find David. I felt like killing him, but what would that have solved? I can’t forget Claire’s eyes and how terrified she looked. If I went and beat David up and she heard about it, she’d hate me—especially now she knows about my past.’

  Cara lowered her eyes. ‘I’m sorry I doubted you, Ben, it’s just—’

  ‘I know, you still see me as the man I was sixteen years ago.’

  ‘No. David dying… it threw me. I wasn’t thinking straight.’ She smiled at him, through her tears.

  ‘It’s too late. Yesterday I came so close to becoming the man I used to be, and I’m sure it’s because you’ve come back and brought the past with you. I thought I was cured after the therapy, but I’m not. You know, you were right when you said I’m still the same old Benjamin. I am. I can’t change. I can’t be someone I’m not. I got away from the things and the people that reminded me of my anger and that’s how I’ve managed to be this other person. Yesterday, I realised that all it takes is one little thing to turn me back into my old self. You remind me of it all.’

  ‘But you have changed, Ben; you’ve been with Claire for years and you’ve been good to her. No one can put on an act for that long. You should have more confidence in yourself. You’re a good man now.’